Captain Mack

by James Roy

  “Ye see this gown?” Captain Mack said finally, plucking harshly at the plush red fabric. “Do ye like it?”

  “It’s very nice,” Danny answered. “How about you?”

  “It’s meant to be a peace offering,” Captain Mack said, disgust thick in his voice.

  “I don’t … For what?”

  Captain Mack raised his head and looked straight at Danny, and his voice shook slightly as he spoke. “They’re moving me. They say I’m too old to stay in this unit, which might well be true. They’ve been saying it for a while, but then when I took that bump the other day they made up their minds. I don’t even remember doing it, to be honest.” He lifted a hand slowly, gently touching the small white dressing on his forehead with one finger. “So they’re moving me into a proper home across town, like a hospital for useless folk.”

  Danny’s protest sounded weak and pathetic. “You’re not useless,” he said.

  “Don’t ye be patronising me, lad. I am useless.”

  “But they have a hospital section here, where Ellie works,” Danny said. “Maybe you could —”

  “Ye don’t think I told him that? He said they can’t afford it.”

  “But don’t you get a say? I mean —”

  “No, I don’t, lad. I told William, ‘This is where all my friends are’, and do ye know what he said?”

  Danny shook his head.

  “He said, ‘Ye’ll make new friends’. Can ye imagine? I’m eighty-four years old, and he talks to me like I’m a child.” His eye was streaming with tears now, and he had to stop speaking. He felt about in one of the pockets of the dressing gown, pulled out a hanky, blew his nose loudly and tucked his hanky away. “Like a child,” he said again.

  Danny didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure whether to make Captain Mack a cup of tea, or give him a hug, or just sit quietly. So that’s what he did, just waiting for the old man to go on. It took a while, and the heavy awkwardness grew.

  “Then he gives me this.” Captain Mack pointed at the gown again. “Did ye see the tartan, lad? He probably thought it was a grand joke. My own son doesn’t care about where his father comes from. He gives me a tartan gown as if to say, ‘There ye go, Da, there’s something to remember Scotland by, to make up for putting ye in a home for reject folks’. I … I can’t talk about it any more, lad. I’m sorry ye have to see a grown man weeping like a wee’un …”

  “It’s okay,” Danny said quietly. He couldn’t think of anything more comforting, and he felt stupid for saying it at all.

  “No, it’s not all right. It’s terrible, lad. Don’t ever treat your da like that, ye understand? It’s not right.”

  “I won’t,” Danny said in a voice almost too quiet to hear.

  “What’s up?” Ellie asked as soon as she saw Danny’s face.

  “It’s Captain Mack,” he said. “He’s really upset.”

  “Oh, the move.” She felt in her purse for the car keys.

  “You knew about it?”

  “I found out today. He’s going to Redgrange.”

  “Where’s that?”

  “A few k’s from here. I know some people who work there.”

  “What’s it like?” Danny asked, hoping she’d say that it was really good, top notch, the best.

  “It’s a hole,” she said, buckling her seatbelt and starting the car. “They’re cost-cutting all over the place. It’s a lot cheaper than here, though, and I guess that’s the main reason.” She shrugged. “This place is pretty pricey, you know. To move him into the hospital wing would’ve cost them a lot of money. I guess they’re doing what they have to do.”

  “But it’s not fair,” Danny protested. “He’s got friends here. He knows all the nurses. He’s got me. He’s happy here.”

  Ellie reached over and squeezed his knee. “I know, Danny. I’m disappointed too. But there’s nothing you or I can do about it. I’m sorry, but there really isn’t.”

  A week later Captain Mack was gone. Ellie told Danny across the fence between their front gardens as he arrived home after school. He dropped his bag and sat on the doorstep, resting his chin in his hands. He felt a strange emptiness in his chest.

  “It’s not all that bad, is it?” she asked, pulling off her gardening gloves.

  “I guess not. I just feel bad for Captain Mack, that’s all. He’s going to be so unhappy.”

  “He might surprise you.”

  “What’s the name of the new place he’s at?” Danny asked. “Red-something.”

  “Redgrange. It’s not that far. Are you planning to visit him?”

  “Sure, why not?”

  Ellie smiled. “He’d love that.”

  The Redgrange receptionist with the heavy eyeshadow didn’t know who Danny meant when he asked for the tall Scottish man with the eye-patch.

  “Does he have a name?” she asked, chewing her gum loudly. “Because if you’ve got a name to give me …”

  “Um … I’ve always called him Captain Mack. McAlly or McAully or something like that.” He felt his face going red. Some visitor, he thought — doesn’t even know who he’s come to see.

  “Hang on,” the receptionist said, flipping through a green folder on her desk. “McAuliffe? Is that him?”

  “Yeah, I think so,” Danny said.

  Her phone was ringing. “Room 5,” she said as she reached to pick it up.

  Danny didn’t know where to start looking for the room, so he waited until the girl had finished dealing with the call. She looked at him curiously. “What’s up now?” she asked.

  “Where’s Room 5?” he asked.

  She rolled her eyes, just a tiny bit, enough to make Danny feel like a pain, like a pesky kid. “Down that hall and take a left. It’s about halfway along on the right.”

  Danny stopped in front of Room 5, in a corridor smelling of too-sweet citrus and air-freshener. He peeked cautiously in.

  There were six beds in the room, four of which were empty, their sheets and blankets rumpled. Over by the window an old man in a dressing gown and slippers was lying on top of his covers with his back to the doorway, a small black transistor radio murmuring thinly on his locker. Captain Mack was sitting on the edge of the bed opposite. He too was facing in the other direction, staring through the barred-up window at a brown brick wall a couple of metres away. He was wearing pale blue pyjamas. The air-conditioner grate in the centre of the ceiling rattling.

  “Knock knock,” Danny said.

  Captain Mack turned his head and frowned. “Who is it?” he asked crossly.

  “It’s Private Snell.”

  “Who? Oh, it’s ye. Well, in ye come then, and close the door, for crying out loud. And don’t be attracting any attention to yeself.”

  “Very well sir,” said Danny. He pushed the door shut, then saluted as soon as he was sure that the other man was definitely asleep. “How is it here, then?”

  Captain Mack casually returned the salute and pointed to the chair beside the bed. “Much the same as we were led to believe. This camp’s not a patch on the other, let me tell ye.”

  “Why’s that?” Danny asked.

  “Well, look around ye, lad! It’s appalling!” He plucked at his pyjamas. “This uniform they make us wear, for a start. It’s downright degrading, lad, and clearly contravenes every convention ever passed and signed!”

  “Aren’t they just pyjamas?”

  Captain Mack scowled and shook his head. “Maybe to ye, lad, but to the rest of us they’re a symbol. Don’t ye see? They make us stand out as prisoners. And the mess hall is a sty, which is no real surprise, since all they serve us is swill. Like animals, Snell — that’s how they treat us.”

  “How are the nurses?” Danny asked.

  “Barbarians every one, lad.”

  The door swung open without warning and a young woman in a sickly green dress strutted in. “Now then, who closed this door, hmm?” she asked in what seemed like an unnecessarily high voice.

  “Captain Mack asked me to shut
it,” Danny confessed.

  She ignored him. “Now Mr McAuliffe, we know the rule about doors being closed during the day, don’t we?”

  “Aye, and a ridiculous rule it is, as I’ve told ye several times,” Captain Mack retorted.

  “Well, rules are rules, aren’t they?” said the nurse, opening the door wide and placing a chair against it. “OK?” she added, flashing an insincere smile at Danny.

  “See what I mean?” Captain Mack said as soon as she was gone. “And that’s one of the nice ones.”

  “So you’re hating it, then?” Danny said.

  “Wouldn’t ye, lad? Wouldn’t ye?”

  “I guess I would.”

  “Huddle up, Snell,” Captain Mack said, glancing about and beckoning Danny closer. He lowered his voice. “I was happier at the other place. They were kinder, ye see. More humane. They let a fellow have a wee bit of space to himself. But here it’s not like that. It’s not the same. I must get back there.”

  “Um … Are you sure you can do that?”

  “Why not? I’ll tell ye a secret, lad. I’m going to escape, see if I don’t.”

  Danny scratched his head. “Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean —”

  “It might not be a good idea at all. It might be a daft idea, lad, but what have I got to lose? Tell me that.”

  “But —”

  Captain Mack sat back against his pillow, crossed his arms and gazed out the window again. “Don’t argue, Snell. I’ve made up my mind. And ye’re going to help me.”

  Caleb shoved his books into his overflowing locker and slammed the door shut before any of the teetering mess could fall out. “Escaping,” he repeated.

  “That’s what he says.”

  Caleb grinned. “Don’t get caught — there’s a stiff penalty for harbouring escapees.”

  “Don’t make fun,” Danny said. “He’s very unhappy.”

  “So tell him a joke.”

  Danny shook his head. “You know, sometimes I wonder if you could ever be serious about anything.”

  Caleb pulled a crazy face, then realised that Danny had failed to see the funny side. “Oh, come on, mate, lighten up.”

  “You don’t understand,” Danny said.

  “All right then,” Caleb said, “I’ll be serious, and I’ll try to understand. In fact, I’ve decided I want to come with you to meet Captain Mack.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Why not? I want to see what’s so bad about this new place he’s in.”

  The two boys stood at the doorway of Redgrange.

  “Now I want you to behave,” Danny ordered. “Promise?”

  “Sure,” Caleb replied. “What do you think I am?”

  “Never mind that. Just be good, OK? No making fun.”

  “Cross my heart.”

  They found Captain Mack in the TV room. There were six other elderly people in the room, and with the exception of Captain Mack and a small thinhaired woman hunched over and singing softly to herself in the corner, everyone was asleep. There was a strange smell in the air, a little like disinfectant but not quite the same. A game show was blaring on the TV, and Captain Mack was staring blankly at it.

  “Are you watching that?” Danny asked him, giving a self-conscious salute.

  “Ah, Snell, what news of Tierney?” Captain Mack asked, trying to sit up straight.

  Danny could sense Caleb’s amusement without even looking at him.

  “I believe he’s still well,” he answered, before changing the subject quickly. “Sir, this is my friend, Private Ross. I’ve brought him along to meet you.”

  “Through enemy lines?” Captain Mack asked, eyeing Caleb. “My word, whatever for?”

  Danny expected a casual or even careless answer from his friend. Instead Caleb stood straight and saluted. “I’m here to help with the escape, sir,” he said, not too loudly.

  Captain Mack reached out and patted Caleb’s hand. “Excellent answer, lad.”

  “So what made you change your mind?” Danny asked as they reached the station.

  Caleb played with his ear and thought. “Because I don’t think you can pull it off on your own,” he said at last, smiling.

  “I know I can, but I’m still not sure if I should do it at all.”

  “Of course you should!” Caleb said. “It’ll be great fun.”

  “I’m not talking about how much fun it’ll be.”

  “Well, if you’re worried about getting into trouble, then relax. We’re too young. We just have to say that we didn’t realise we were doing the wrong thing.” He slapped the back of his hand lightly. “That’s all we’ll get.”

  “Yeah, but what if we are doing the wrong thing?” Danny said. “What if —”

  “Huh?” said Caleb.

  Danny just shook his head.

  It was Saturday. Dad was going shopping, dropping Danny at Redgrange on the way.

  “Just out the front is fine,” Danny said as they arrived, but Dad ignored him and drove into the visitors’ car park instead.

  “What are you doing?” Danny asked.

  Dad parked the car and turned off the engine. “Come on, let’s go. I want to meet your friend.”

  “It’s fine, Dad. I’ll be all right.”

  “I know you’ll be all right. I just want to meet him. Is that OK with you?”

  “I guess …”

  Captain Mack was sitting in a chair beside his bed, gazing at the brick wall and bars, listening to the buzzing ceiling grate.

  “Good morning, sir,” Danny said. Because Dad was there he didn’t salute, hoping that Captain Mack wouldn’t notice.

  “Morning, Snell. Who’s this?” Captain Mack asked, slowly checking Dad out from head to toe.

  “This is my dad, David Snell.”

  “Pleased to meet you, sir,” Dad said, holding out his hand.

  Captain Mack shook it cautiously. “Another Snell, eh? I see, lad,” he said to Danny. “Very good. Is this part of the plan?”

  “What plan is that?” Dad asked with a smile, looking back and forth between them. “Is there a plan?”

  “The Private will fill ye in, I’m sure,” Captain Mack said. “Best we don’t discuss it here.”

  A girl in a pink uniform came to the end of the bed. “Cup of tea, Mr McAuliffe?” she asked.

  “Aye, I would like that,” he said, but as she walked back to her trolley in the hall Captain Mack said in a low voice, “Always trying to curry favour, these people.”

  Dad smiled. “Nice to meet you, sir,” he said. “I’ll leave Dan here so he can visit for a bit longer.” He squeezed Danny’s shoulder. “See you at home.”

  “Nice man,” Captain Mack said when he’d gone. “We could use him.”

  “What did you think?” Danny asked Dad when he got home.

  “About what?”

  “About Captain Mack.”

  “I thought he seemed very nice. A bit … confused, I guess, but pretty harmless. Just like you described him, really.”

  “What about the place? Pretty awful, huh?”

  Dad raised his eyebrows. “Seemed all right to me. I mean, I’m no expert, but as nursing homes go —”

  “What about the smell?”

  Dad shrugged. “Didn’t think about it, to be honest.”

  “He doesn’t like it there at all. It was much nicer where he was before.”

  “Well, Dan, that’s the way things go sometimes.”

  “Dad thought it was OK, but Captain Mack hates it,” Danny said to Ellie.

  She handed him his drink and closed the fridge. “I’m sure he does. It’s a horrible place. It’s got a reputation. They’re always looking for staff, and they can never get them. I don’t know what they do to make them leave, but whatever it is, it works.”

  “So what would happen if he tried to … to escape?”

  “Escape?” She laughed. “You make it sound like a prison.”

  “Well, he thinks it is. So what would happen?” he repeated.
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  “I guess they’d just take him straight back. Anyway, he wouldn’t.”

  “What makes you so sure?”

  “Danny, do you realise how many times he threatened to leave Lady Smythe because he was unhappy with the temperature in his unit, or because the sheets were too wrinkled, or the mowers were too noisy outside his window? I lost count. He lives in this fantasy world where he’s a brave soldier held in a jungle camp, but at the end of the day he’s not brave enough to run off. It’s really that simple.”

  Danny shook his head. “But what if he did?” he argued. “Just say he did escape — what then?”

  Ellie took a deep breath and looked Danny in the eye. “He’s an adult, Danny. He’s in a place that looks after old people like him, regardless of how well or how poorly they do it. He might hate the place, but it’s food and shelter, and I think underneath it all he realises that. That’s why despite his continual threats to leave, he never does. End of story.”

  Danny watched his hands as they turned his glass around on the table. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “That’s not to say that I’d blame him for running away from that dump,” added Ellie with a smile. “In fact, I might even think it was pretty cool.”

  If Danny thought or hoped that Captain Mack might forget about his escape idea, he was wrong. Whenever he went to visit — which wasn’t quite as often since the move, as the new hospital was a little more out of his way than the old one — Captain Mack would whisper again about how he intended to leave. In the beginning he’d always talk about going back to Lady Smythe, but gradually his plan changed. Now he was going home. It took some time for Danny to get around to asking where home was, but he finally did it one rainy Sunday afternoon.

  “Glasgow, where’d ye think?” the old man answered impatiently. Then his face softened, and he almost smiled. “There’s a pub there that I used to drink at. I’m going to walk in there on a Sunday afternoon and shout a round for all the lads. They won’t believe that young Freddy McAuliffe’s back from the jungle. I can’t wait to see it.”

  “Glasgow’s a long way, isn’t it?” Danny said. “Are you sure you want to go that far?”