The Boyfriend of the Month Club

by Maria Geraci

  Grace was too stunned to respond.

  “In my experience these kind of guys are usually good for a couple of months, tops. Then the horns come out,” said Janine.

  “‘Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends—whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain.’ Pride and Prejudice,” Ellen said, “in case anyone here doesn’t recognize the quote.”

  Argh! Grace struggled to hold Mal Genio back. Any second now she was going to march over and whack Ellen over the head with that blasted computer of hers.

  “Maybe Melanie can tell us more about him,” another woman said. “Give us a different insight.”

  “Good idea,” Ellen said. “So, Melanie, what exactly is your relationship with this man?”

  “First off, I have to say I completely disagree with the Mr. Wickham characterization. Joe is a wonderful man,” said Melanie.

  Grace felt a moment’s vindication. Maybe Melanie wasn’t so bad after all.

  “Technically, he’s my boss. So initially we decided to keep it on a strictly friends level. Going out for coffee, a casual lunch, that sort of thing.”

  Ellen’s gaze shot to Grace. It was almost the exact same phrase Grace had used at one time to describe her relationship with Joe.

  “Maybe we’ve heard enough,” Ellen said. “Thank you, Melanie, now—”

  “Being that he’s my boss, it’s been a dilemma for sure,” Melanie continued. “He’s been dropping some pretty big hints about me leaving my job because I’m pretty sure he wants to bring the relationship up to the next level. Things have gotten kind of heated around the office, if you know what I mean. Of course,” she gave Grace a pointed look, “I’m not the type to kiss and tell.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Grace demanded.

  Ellen started fluttering around in her chair like a bird with a broken wing. “Okay, I think that about wraps it up!”

  “But I’m not finished,” Melanie whined.

  “I’m sorry, but we’ve already spent enough time on this guy,” said Ellen. She threw Grace an apologetic look.

  Sarah tugged on Grace’s elbow. “Sit down,” she whispered. “By arguing with Melanie, you’re only making it worse.”

  Sarah was right, of course. Grace would deal with Melanie and Ellen later. In private. She slumped down in her seat.

  Ellen looked relieved that there wasn’t going to be a catfight. “I’m happy to report that besides the reviews we’ve done live during our meetings, we’ve had several members take the initiative and post their own reviews, bringing us to a whopping total of twenty-three.”

  The women all clapped at this good news. Except for Grace, who was still too mad to do much of anything except sit and fume.

  “Which brings me to our next order of business. As you can see, our club is growing by leaps and bounds, and we’ve simply outgrown our current location. So next month, we’ll be meeting somewhere new. Does anyone have any suggestions on where we should go?”

  Grace had a suggestion as to where Ellen should go, but she’d keep it to herself for now.

  A woman a few seats away from Grace raised her hand. “How about using a conference room at The Continental? That’s the new high-rise hotel on the beach. My company had its annual business retreat there last week. Of course, they might charge us a fee, but maybe not if we had bar service.” This last part was met with a large murmur of agreement from the crowd. “And there’s a band every weekend night in the lounge, so it’s perfect for those of us who want to socialize afterward.”

  “Excellent idea!” Ellen said. “Can I see a show of hands if you agree with moving the club meetings to The Continental?”

  Grace was the first to shoot her arm up in the air. The rest of the room followed suit.

  “It’s unanimous then,” Ellen said, beaming. “All righty, let’s help fold up chairs and get this place back in order, then it’s on to Coco’s!”

  Grace made sure she grabbed Ellen before she got out the door. “Ellen, can I talk to you?”

  “Grace, isn’t it fantastic? Now we can really grow the club! A conference room is just what we need. Do you think they have mics?”

  “Ellen, how could you tell everyone about my meeting Joe at the Wobbly Duck? That was told to you in confidence!”

  “No, it wasn’t. I distinctly remember, we were at lunch at Luigi’s and—”

  “That’s right, Ellen, we were at Luigi’s. Just the four of us. I told my friends, not a bunch of strangers I’ve never met before.”

  Ellen considered this a moment. “I’m sorry. I can understand why you’d be upset about this. I tried to shut Melanie up because I could tell she was hurting your feelings. But don’t you see? It only goes to prove how much of a discrepancy there is between our perceptions and reality. It’s why we need this boyfriend club! Before you started getting emotionally involved with this guy, you saw there was something not right with him. But now? You should hear yourself, Grace! It’s like he’s some kind of saint.”

  Grace tried to think of something to defend herself with, but the irony was that Ellen actually had a point. Grace was beginning to sound exactly like Melanie and Tiffany.

  “I only pointed out the obvious for your own good. Don’t you remember how you felt after that first date with Brandon? You were so hurt. And with good reason! But then you saw another side of Brandon and found out he wasn’t so bad. He might even be your—”

  “If you tell me that Brandon is my Mr. Darcy one more time, I’m going to scream.”

  Ellen sniffed. “Grace, you know as well as I do that there’s a flip side to every coin. You just haven’t seen Joe’s flip side yet, or rather you have, but you’ve chosen to ignore it. I hope I’m wrong. I hope he’s not a Wickham. But it wouldn’t be right for me to have this kind of information and not share it with someone I happen to care about a great deal. What kind of friend would I be then?”

  How could Grace argue with that? Ellen was doing what she thought was right. She was looking out for Grace’s best interests. Which was more than Grace had done for Sarah . . .

  “Okay, I get it. But for the record, I think you’re wrong about Joe. And in the future, I would appreciate it if what I say to you outside this club stays outside this club.”

  They gave each other a hug, then Ellen scurried away to round up a group for Coco’s.

  Joe wasn’t a Wickham. He just couldn’t be. Speaking of which, there he was at the entrance to the store, looking bewildered. Women were going out of their way to walk around him like he was some sort of germ. Being ignored by this many women was probably Joe’s equivalent of The Twilight Zone.

  Had he run into Melanie on her way out? Melanie had been one of the first women to leave, probably because she didn’t want to speak to Grace, so maybe they’d managed to miss each other. Should she tell Joe what Melanie had said in tonight’s meeting?

  She snuck up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. “Looking for someone?”

  Grace got a kick out of seeing his reaction to her outfit. “Nice dress.”

  “Glad you remembered it. Although it’s not the same one, actually.”

  She introduced Joe to Penny and he and Sarah made some friendly small talk as the four of them finished putting up the chairs left behind. Despite Ellen’s announcement asking the members to clean up, the place had been left a mess.

  “So how was the book club meeting?” Joe asked.

  Penny and Sarah gave each other a look.

  “It’s not exactly a book club,” Grace said. She wished she didn’t have to lie to him, but she couldn’t tell him what the club was about. Not without going into a whole lot of stuff she didn’t want to go into. So there was really no way to warn him about Melanie either. “It started out as a book club, but it’s grown into more of a . . . women’s empowerment group. But we also discuss books too.” Sort of.

  “Sounds cool. What book did you discuss tonight?”
/>   You.

  “Um, well . . . Pride and Prejudice was brought up.”

  “What is it with women and Jane Austen?”

  “I’ll tell you later,” she said.

  22

  My Good Opinion Is Restored

  “I’ll have the vegetarian lasagna, please.” Ellen handed the waiter her unopened menu. He took the rest of their orders and left them a basket of breadsticks. Grace reached out and took one. She nibbled on the end, but instead of the warm, buttery, garlic sensation she was used to, it tasted more like cardboard.

  “What’s wrong?” Sarah asked Grace. “Why aren’t you devouring the breadsticks?”

  “Today’s the day we approach Pop about selling Florida Charlie’s.”

  “He’s never going to go for it,” Penny said.

  “That’s what I told Charlie but he says we have to try.” While the idea of selling Florida Charlie’s was still repugnant, the offer guaranteed the store another three years. That was something at least.

  “When is this all taking place?” Ellen asked.

  “Right after lunch. Brandon is meeting us at the store.”

  Sarah looked surprised. “Brandon’s going to be there too?”

  “Charlie thought if it was just the two of us, Pop could blow us off too easily. But with Brandon there, he’ll be forced to listen to the deal. Pop is too polite to walk out on a stranger.”

  “True,” Penny said. “That was smart of Charlie.”

  “Let’s not talk about it,” Grace said. “Let’s talk about something else.” Grace could now understand Penny’s theories on avoidance. Just thinking about selling Florida Charlie’s was enough to make her stomach turn.

  “Well, you’ll be happy to know that I have the go-ahead on The Continental for our next club meeting,” Ellen said.

  “That’s good news,” Penny said.

  “Very good news,” Grace agreed.

  “I’ve booked a room for the first Saturday of every month, except for next month. I’ve switched the meeting to the second Saturday especially.”

  Penny began counting on her fingers. “That’s Valentine’s Day.”

  “I know,” Ellen said. “Very apropos, don’t you think?”

  “But what if someone has a date?” Sarah asked.

  “I think the point is that the women in this club won’t be having dates on Valentine’s Day,” Penny said.

  “Joe hasn’t said anything yet, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed,” Grace said. “So don’t plan on my being there.”

  Sarah clapped her hands together. “Gracie, you’re going to break your St. Valentine’s Day Curse!”

  Grace waited for Ellen to start in again with Joe being a Wickham, but thankfully Ellen kept her mouth shut. “Maybe,” Grace said. “We’ll see.”

  “I won’t be at the boyfriend club meeting either,” said Sarah.

  “That’s the night the Dragon is having her housewarming party, and my attendance is mandatory. It’s too bad that’s the night of the club meeting, because I was actually hoping you all might come to the party. I’m dying to show you her house. I think it’s my best work yet. The before-and-after pictures are going up on my website.”

  “Why don’t we cancel the meeting? Or move it to another Saturday?” Grace suggested.

  “We can’t do that. This is a woman’s empowerment group!” Ellen said, waving a breadstick in the air for emphasis. “What better day to have a meeting than on a holiday that only serves to make women who don’t have a man in their life feel like they’re less-than?”

  No one had a good argument for that, so Penny changed the subject. “Is the Dragon still trying to fix you up with her son?” she asked Sarah.

  Sarah nodded.

  “What does he look like?” Grace asked. “If you’ve decorated her house, you must have seen pictures of him.”

  “Oh, I’ve seen lots of pictures. He’s about three feet tall, blue eyes, he’s missing a front tooth—”

  Ellen began choking on her breadstick. “He’s . . . a . . . a mid-get?”

  Grace gave Ellen a few hard thumps on the back. “Don’t make me do the Heimlich on you,” she warned. “After your performance at the boyfriend club Saturday night, I’d love nothing better than to put you in a half-Nelson.”

  Ellen took a big swig of water. Her face was beet red. “I’m okay,” she croaked.

  It reminded Grace of when Brandon had nearly choked on his beer at the Wobbly Duck. And thinking of Brandon reminded her once more of this afternoon’s meeting with Pop. Cardboard or not, Grace stuffed a breadstick in her mouth.

  Sarah was still giggling when she said, “Sorry, Ellen, I couldn’t resist. I have no idea what the man looks like because I’ve only seen kiddie pictures.”

  “She doesn’t have any other pictures of him up in the house?” Ellen asked.

  “I’ve seen one from early high school. He had braces then. I know he likes to sail, because there are a lot of pictures of his boat, but that’s it.”

  “You know what this means, don’t you?” Ellen said.

  “No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell us,” Grace said.

  “She says she wants to fix Sarah up with her son, but what she really wants is control over his life. She doesn’t have pictures of him as a grown man because, in her mind, he’s still a little boy. Her little boy.”

  Penny rolled her eyes. “I thought Janine was the psychology expert.”

  “It doesn’t take a degree in psychology to figure out an Oedipus complex.”

  “I think Ellen is right. This guy is bad news,” Grace said. Not that Grace really agreed with Ellen’s theory. Grace had been all for Sarah going out with the Dragon’s son, but that was before her Charlie/Sarah brainstorm. Despite Sarah’s protests to the contrary, Grace was still clinging to the slim hope that Charlie and Sarah might one day get together. Strange, but now that the idea had taken root, she couldn’t get it out of her head.

  “Don’t call out the National Guard, but I think I actually agree with Ellen too,” Sarah said.

  “So what are you going to do?” Penny asked.

  “I’m going to the party and I’m going to make nice with the Dragon and her son. And if he shows any interest in me, which I’m sure he won’t because he’s probably sick of his mother’s interference and wants to meet me about as much as I want to meet him, I’ll just tell him that I’m not over my ex yet.”

  “That’s actually a pretty good idea,” Grace said. “But that’s not exactly true, is it? I mean, when do you think you’ll be ready to move on and start dating?”

  Penny raised her brows at Grace. No one at the table said anything.

  Was she being insensitive again? It irked Grace to no end to think of Sarah pining away for Craig. If Sarah only knew the truth. She thought briefly of Joe’s advice, about telling Sarah everything . . .

  “What about you, Penny? Can I count on you to be at the meeting?” Ellen asked.

  “Sure, I’ve got nothing better to do on Valentine’s Day.”

  “Have you heard from Butch lately?” Grace asked.

  “Nope. And I don’t expect to either. Oh goodie,” Penny said, spotting their waiter from across the room. “Our food’s on the way.”

  Grace practiced her speech the entire drive back to the store while Penny critiqued. Even though Grace had told Charlie she was going to sit there and nod like a dummy, Pop would expect her to say something.

  “Don’t sound so nervous,” Penny said. “Keep it short, simple. Besides, knowing Charlie, he’ll probably take over and you won’t have to say anything anyway. Lawyers love to hear themselves talk.”

  Penny was right. She probably wouldn’t have to say much. And this was business. No reason to get all maudlin. Who knows? Pop might even be relieved by the offer.

  Ha. Who was she fooling? Pop would never go for it.

  She spotted Brandon’s silver Jaguar in front of the store but there was no sign of Charlie’s car. Technically they weren’t
meeting until one thirty. Hopefully Charlie wouldn’t be late. There were about a dozen customers inside, three of them waiting in line at the citrus shop. Penny went to help Stella take orders. Grace found Brandon perusing the T-shirt aisles.

  “I’ve never seen you in your official Florida Charlie’s uniform,” he said. “Very cute.” He smiled and Grace got the impression he wanted to say something more but held back. On the off chance that Pop went for the deal, Brandon could very well end up being her boss. How weird would that be?

  “I have to warn you, I’m still pretty sure my father is going to say no.”

  “I can be very persuasive, Grace.”

  Grace knew all about that persuasiveness firsthand. Maybe she was wrong and Pop would go for the deal, after all. Of course, it would take more than some long-stemmed roses and a few bottles of Dom Perignon to sway Pop, but still, it was probably wise not to underestimate Brandon.

  The bell above the front door jingled and they both turned. Grace had hoped it was Charlie, but it wasn’t.

  “So here I am,” Pop said. “What is it you and your brother wanted to talk to me about?” His face looked unusually ruddy.

  Grace kissed her father on the cheek. “Did you just come from the gym? You look flushed.”

  “Nah, but I thought I’d head there after our talk. I promised your mother I’d walk two miles a day. New Year’s resolution,” he said, sounding more resigned than enthusiastic.

  Grace introduced Pop to Brandon and the two of them shook hands.

  “Maybe we can go ahead and start?” Brandon asked. “We can catch Charlie up later.”

  Pop gave Grace a who the hell is this guy? look.

  “I’ll explain everything in my office,” Grace said, feeling nervous all over again. She ushered them inside and offered to make coffee. Brandon politely declined. Pop appeared impatient.

  “Is the air-conditioning on?” Pop asked. “It’s hot in here.”