Under the Sassafras

by Hattie Mae

  “I can’t accept that Doc.” Mansir shook his head. “I refuse to believe that I'll never know who I am? Is there not a treatment? Pills, hypnosis, something?” He wiped the sweat as it rolled down his face. Mansir leaned forward in his seat and tried to focus. He cleared his throat and asked. “Tell me, Dr. Adams, is this the beginning of my life, or the end?”

  “I'm sorry, son. Your life is yours to make, one-way or the other. I can tell you there is no known treatment, but time. Sometimes skills come back, or you hear a voice and it reminds you of someone in your past or a smell, or touch.” He set the paperweight back down on his desk. “You'll just have to take it slow and be watchful for the pieces of your life to fit. The good news is you’re in perfect health otherwise, so though the lack of memory can understandably be distressing to you, it shouldn’t prevent you from living your life to its fullest.”

  Mansir squared his shoulders. His unsteady legs took him to the window across the room. He’d simply have to leave here and walk outside. Alone. How would he earn a living? Where would he live?

  “And just how do I begin this new life, Doc?” Mansir turned to face the doctor. He searched the doctor’s face for answers, but found nothing but compassion.

  “I could probably get you into the charity hospital in New Orleans or a half-way house.” Dr. Adams shifted his feet and looked between Mansir and Joelette. “But then I thought of another possibility.”

  “I wanted to talk to you, Joelette, about a possible short term solution, so hear me out.” Dr. Adams turned to her. “I know you and MaeMae could use a man's help around your place. Mansir needs a place to heal.” He watched Joelette take in the words slowly. “So what do you think?”

  Joelette stood suddenly. “No. No way. MaeMae and I do just fine. We don’t know this man, and besides we haven't needed a man since Otis died.”

  “Joelette, think about what you’re saying. MaeMae is a healer, he’d be in good hands. And he could help with any physical labor you might have. He’s a strong man.” Dr. Adams winked at Mansir.

  He felt awkward with the two of them discussing him this way. Though he hated to impose, right now Joelette and her family were the closest thing he had to his past. They were the ones who’d found him. “I am a hard worker,” he said. “At least I think I am.”

  She shut her eyes, grabbed hold of the back of Mansir’s chair. She took deep breaths. “How long are we talking about?”

  “I really couldn’t say,” Dr. Adams said.

  She paced the floor of the office and wrung her hands. Mansir knew the doctor had put her in an uncomfortable situation. He never wanted to be the reason this strong, beautiful woman was distressed.

  “Joelette, it's okay. You’ve already done enough. I'll find a job. Doing something.” He sat up straighter. “You're not responsible for me.”

  Joelette surveyed his face. “Where would you go? What would you do?” She released a heavy breath. “I’m sure MaeMae wouldn’t mind, and I could use some help with the idea I have for the Mamou Beans.” She held her hand up. “Give me a minute. Let me think.”

  She sat back down in the chair and drummed her fingers on her forehead. Joelette stared into Mansir's face.

  He cocked his head to the side, waiting for what she’d say next. He would figure out a solution on his own, if he had to, but damn if he didn’t prefer to go home with this woman.

  “Here's my offer,” she began. “Food and shelter in exchange for labor. If you prove to be lazy, then you leave. Simple as that. You are not my charity case.”

  “I assure you--”

  “Hear me out,” she interrupted. “I need someone to help me clear a field and I don't have the funds to hire anyone. So I can’t give you any money, but I can promise you a roof and good food. Do we have a deal?” With a heavy sigh, Joelette rolled her shoulders, and the tension left her face.

  “Yes, it’s a deal.”

  She turned to the doctor. “When can he do physical labor with his head injury?”

  “I would say another week. Start off slow. As I said, he’s in excellent physical health. Other than his memory loss and that knot on his head, he should regain his strength rapidly.”

  “Thank you,” he said to Joelette. He didn’t know what else to say. How could you thank someone for offering you a place of security to heal? He turned to the doctor. “Is that all, Dr. Adams?”

  “For now. I would like to see you in two weeks as a follow up.” He turned to Joelette. “Bring him to see me in Bon Amie in two weeks on Tuesday, save you some gas.”

  She nodded and together they left the office. Back in the truck, Joelette turned the key and reached for the shift, she paused. “Don't make me regret this decision, Mansir,” she said, her voice shaking. “If you hurt anyone in my family...”

  They rode in silence for most of the ride. Mansir clenched his jaw. Was he a danger to anyone? This woman was taking a chance on him when he wasn't sure himself. He turned his head and closed his eyes. He was at her mercy, and he was sure he could never repay her for her generosity and kindness.

  As they turned off the main road, Mansir shifted to look at Joelette.

  “Could you stop in the town Dr. Adams mentioned? I’d like to check if any lost person reports have come in with my information?”

  “At the Bon Amie police station? Our sheriff is on maternity leave, first woman to hold that office. She'll be back next week. I don’t think the man holding down the office will be of much help. Roger Dale, is somewhat of a goof off. Do you want me to turn around and drive back to Lafayette?”

  “No. You've missed enough work because of me. I’ll check the computer; didn’t you say T-Boy uses the one at the Library? The doctor said this might be temporary, I can wait a few days.”

  ###

  MaeMae sat on the porch in her dilapidated chair as they drove up.

  “Your room's ready. I know you've had a long day.” MaeMae met Mansir at the steps. She nodded to Joelette.

  Without argument, Mansir followed MaeMae.

  “I don’t know how to thank you MaeMae, both you and Joelette have helped me more than you know,” Mansir said, and then walked to his room.

  “You don't seem to be the least bit surprised that he returned with me.” Joelette shouldn’t be surprised. It was MaeMae’s way. She always seemed to know what was going on before anyone else.

  MaeMae sat back in her chair. “Cher, I knew you would do the right thing. Just as I knew our work with him was not done.” She smiled and laid her head back on the chair. “Everything will work out. You'll see. You better go tell Ozamae. He's been moping since you left this morning. I'll talk to T-Boy when he gets home from school if you like.”

  “I hope you're right. I've a feeling that man will bring more sadness than joy to this family. The doctor said he might regain his memory soon, but Mansir promised he would not leave until he cleared the west field.” She pulled her hair up off her neck and tightened her lips. “Of course, it was a man's promise.” Joelette started around the house to find Ozamae, but doubled back. “Tell T-Boy I'll meet him at the dock. I have to be the one to tell him, but thanks, MaeMae.”

  She found Ozamae in the back yard, as she suspected with his wounded friends. MaeMae said he had the “touch” ever since he was old enough to bring her the first lame animal.

  “Hey baby. I've something to tell you.” She put her hand on his head and ruffled his hair. “Mansir came back with me and--”

  Ozamae's face lit up, and he grabbed onto her legs in a tight hug before she could say more. “Can I go see him? How long can he stay?” His eyes grew wider with each question. “Boy, oh boy, I bet he's so happy. He didn't want to go, you know.” Ozamae moved One Eyed Blanc out of the way and laid the baby bird he had been holding back in his cage. “Now he won't be all by himself, right Mom?”

  “To answer your first question, not right now, let him rest. He will be here just as long as it takes to regain his memory and to help me get the field planted. That�
��s all.” The bus hissed and the gears grinded as it approached. She kissed Ozamae, and headed for the front of the house, avoiding the last question.

  A small lone figure sat on the boat dock. This was T-Boy's favorite place, his refuge. Joelette walked toward her son, and played back in her mind how she would tell her nine-year-old boy who was trying so desperately to be a man.

  “Hey, how was school?” she asked.

  “Same old stuff,” he replied.

  “Come on now, T-Boy, you know the routine.” Joelette sat down beside him. They had an afterschool tradition. “Tell me one academic lesson you learned today.”

  He wrinkled his nose in thought. “I read about frogs in Victoria Canada called Whistling Tree Frogs. They’re called that because the noise they make sounds like a whistle instead of a croak.” A quick smile crossed his face.

  She gave him a tight squeeze.

  “I could just picture him puckering up his little frog lips and whistling.” He said, then giggled. “I thought that Ozamae would like to hear about them. I also checked out a new book about a boy who finds a castle in his grandmother's attic with a magic knight. I started reading it on the bus.”

  “Maybe we can read that book together. Now how about one life lesson you learned today?” Joelette asked.

  T-Boy turned on his stomach and trailed a stick through the water. “That's an easy one. Don't let Billy Lee sit by you in the lunch room.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Because every girl in the room passes by your table and giggles and grins real goofy like at him. They think he's some super hero. It's gross.” T-Boy sat up and acted like he was putting his finger down his throat. “I thought I would puke.”

  Joelette grabbed T-Boy and gave him a hug. “Hey, I have a life lesson I want to share with you.”

  “Okay, but can we get a snack first,” he said coming to his feet. “I’m starving.”

  “T-Boy, wait, just a few moments more. I learned something from MaeMae today, you should always be ready to help someone in need, even if you really don’t want to.” Joelette pulled him gently back down beside her. “I took the man we found to see Dr. Adams today. He suggested Mansir; by the way Ozamae gave him that name, should stay and help us for a few days until he remembers something about his life.”

  “You told him no. Right?” T-Boy asked.

  “No,” Joelette pointed to the overgrown field to the left of the house. “You know I need someone to help me clear that field and maybe do some repairs on the house. And he needs a place to stay while he gets better, understand?”

  T-Boy jumped up and stomped his foot. “No! We don't need anyone to help us. You said he wasn't staying, mom. You said.” He swiped at a tear as it rolled down his cheek.

  “Try to understand, baby. He didn’t have anywhere else to go, and he’ll be gone before you know it. You're still my little man,” she said putting her arm around his stiff shoulders. “Now let's go fix you something to eat.”

  “I'm not hungry anymore,” T-Boy said. He pulled away from her and ran back to the house.

  She knew he was hiding while he cried. It seemed no matter what she did it was the wrong thing for him. To give up would result in losing him to the foolish promises he’d made his dad.

  ###

  Joelette walked slowly back to the house and sat on the swing. The kitchen door closed quietly behind MaeMae.

  “Mind if I sit with you awhile?”

  Joelette moved over.

  “Talk to me, Cher. What is wrong?”

  “He’s so angry with me.” Joelette shook her head. “I disappointed him. Again”

  “He's a little boy. The change of weather disappoints him,” MaeMae said. She took Joelette’s hands in hers. “T-Boy is not the problem, is he?”

  Joelette looked into her mother-in-law's kind eyes. “I don’t feel in control. With T-Boy, and now this man, that was dumped into our lives. I don't know exactly, but for some reason that man makes me nervous. When I look into his eyes, I see goodness, but I just don’t trust it.” She released a sigh. “The way he’s already won Ozamae's heart in such a short time. And yours. It scares me.” She thought how that might sound. “I mean I’m not worried about losing my own heart.” She waved her hand. “I know he can't touch mine.” She’d hid it away sometime after she married Otis and had vowed another man would not hold or touch her heart. “I’m just worried about y’all getting hurt.”

  “Cher, you make me sad. You miss so much not trusting. Not only others but yourself. You shouldn’t close yourself off so much, hide your heart like that.”

  Joelette looked down at the soft old hand holding hers and felt the tears fill her eyes. “I'm afraid I've hidden my heart so well that I might never find it,” she whispered. “Or if I do let someone in, it will break again and I'll never be alright.” Where had that come from? She swiped at the tears, drying her eyes.

  Joelette let go of MaeMae's hand and stood, smoothing her pants with shaking hands. “I'm going to walk to the field and try to sort out things. I won't be long. Thanks for listening, and caring.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  Someone slammed a door. Mansir heard MaeMae and T-Boy talking in the kitchen, her voice gentle, his on edge. Mansir sat on the side of the bed. He knew he was the cause of turmoil in Joelette's family, and he had to set things right with her or this would never work. She had to be able to trust him.

  Mansir went out the back door in search of Joelette. He needed this place to recover and maybe she needed him, looking around the house he saw several things that needed to be fixed: the loose boards on the porch, a few spots on the roof, maybe build more cages. He didn’t know if he knew how to do any of those things, but the thought of being useful made him feel better, made him want to try.

  She stood under a huge tree at the far end of the yard. Walking toward her was easy—alleviating some of her concerns would be more difficult.

  “Hi. This must be the famous field you've been talking about.”

  Joelette jumped, holding her chest she drew in a quick breath. “I thought you were resting.”

  “I did rest, but I wanted to talk to you.” He walked closer so he could look her in the eyes. “I can do this, Joelette. I can clear this field and anything else you ask of me. If I don’t know how to do something, I’ll learn.”

  She turned her back, crossed her arms over her chest.

  Someone had hurt her. Badly. Part of him wanted to sooth that for her, but that wasn’t his job right now. Now, it was just about the work and reclaiming his memory. “Joelette, look at me. Your family will not be in jeopardy. I don't know much about myself, but this I know; I'm not harmful. I'm grateful for the chance to prove my worth and you can bet I won't mess up. You have my word, my promise.”

  She turned around abruptly, looking him straight in the eyes. Her mossy brown eyes were unwavering. “I believe you want this to be true.” Her voice softened to a whisper. “But don't make promises.” She went and sat on a large log that lay under the tree and hugged her knees to her.

  “Someone must have done a number on you to destroy your trust.” He sat next to her. “Was it your husband?”

  She was quiet for several moments before she spoke again. “I learned from the beginning, men do not keep promises. My father promised my mother every morning that someday life would be better for her. But every year or two he would get her pregnant.” She wiped the sweat from her brow.

  “Eventually there were seven of us, never enough money, but always plenty of work. She became too tired to enjoy her children. She's resting now, gone before her time.”

  “I’m sorry,” Mansir whispered.

  “Otis was another man with high expectations,” she continued. “He waltzed into my life when I needed an escape. A dark handsome man who gave me a whirlwind courtship with promises of love, protection, home and security. He seemed different he didn’t push me.” She moved her hair off her face, and looked out into the field.

  “So
I married him. He turned out to be a man with dreams in his heart and lies on his lips. While he lived, I worked to support us as he left time and time again in search of his dreams, a magic fix around the corner. Now that he's dead, I’m left to support and raise two small boys alone.” She lifted her hair off her neck, secured it in a ponytail and looked up at him. “So much for promises.”

  She stood and turned toward the house. “I need to get dinner on the table.”

  Mansir stared at the strong woman. He wanted to say something, but held his tongue. She was beyond needing words and false promises. What he needed to do was earn this woman's trust.

  He caught up with her, looked at the tree. “Joelette what kind of tree is this?”

  She stopped and looked back over her shoulder. “Why that’s my sassafras tree.”

  #

  The following morning MaeMae sat at the table drinking her coffee and watched the morning unfold into a routine day.

  T-Boy left for school without a 'good morning.' His mouth set in a pout and a deep frown across his brow.

  Ozamae dipped his toast in his soft fried eggs and chattered away as Mansir listened to each and every word.

  “Ozamae, I want you to go with me to Mrs. Broussard today. I have three new dresses to deliver and a stop in town for a few things. So let your mouth rest and feed it,” Joelette said as she bustled into the kitchen. “I'll put this package in the truck. Don't forget your shoes and socks when you finish.” She turned around and picked up a piece of bacon, pointing it at Ozamae she continued. “Come on baby, hurry.”

  MaeMae turned her head as Joelette flitted around the kitchen. She knew Mansir made her daughter-in-law uncomfortable. She had prayed for something to heal Joelette's heart, and help her grandsons find someone to look up to. Maybe, just maybe, this broken man would be the answer.

  “Bye, little heart.” MaeMae hugged Ozamae to her chest so tight he groaned. “Have fun today with your mom. We will be here when you return. Bring us home a story and a smile, but not another injured animal, if you please.”

  Mansir waited until Joelette left the room, and started gathering his dishes. “Need help with these?”