My Soul For You

by Morgana Phoenix

  “Ashlee.” She ticked the name off on her fingers. “Larson and you.”

  He looked at her, something wary and uncertain flickering behind his eyes.

  Katie flushed. “Uh, would you go under Misc?” she wondered. “I just thought…”

  “No.” He offered her a small grin. “I just hope you don’t think that’s all I am, a friend.”

  “I don’t,” she murmured. “Not all. I just didn’t know where else to put you on the list.”

  He nodded slowly. Then moved his hand to the end of Misc and added Lover over a column of its own. Katie’s blush deepened as he scrawled his name under it. Her heart pattered wildly in her chest.

  He moved to Enemies.

  “Enemies?”

  Katie jerked her shoulders. “I honestly don’t have any.”

  “None?” he questioned, looking at her. “What about your ex?”

  “Dylan?” She shook her head. “I told you. He left me. He has no reason to terrorize me.”

  He looked over his page, contemplating. His hand moved between Friends and Enemies, like he couldn’t decide which Dylan belonged in.

  “I should make a category for asshole douchebags,” he murmured to himself.

  Katie chuckled. “Or he’d go under lover.”

  “No.” It was definite, leaving no room for argument. He tapped it with the end of his pen. “It’s not plural.”

  Something about that statement had her insides going wild. Her gaze shot to study his side profile and she had to suppress the urge to tackle him in a hug. It was bizarre feeling, the inexplicable burst of elation and warmth that shot through her like hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night.

  As though sensing her eyes on him, he tipped his head to the side and met her gaze. He grinned and tapped her under the chin with his pen.

  “Besides, I like seeing only my name there.” His grin turned into an impish smirk. “Don’t you?”

  Mouth devoid of spit, Katie nodded. “Yes.”

  Straight, white teeth flashed in a devastating smile. “Good. Let’s keep going.”

  It was hard to concentrate when all she could see was his name under lover like a solemn promise. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. It said so much and yet said nothing at all. Their whole relationship was still a giant mystery, one she was too afraid to put a name to.

  She supposed lover made sense. They weren’t exactly in a relationship. A single outing to get coffee that ended with not seeing him again for two weeks could hardly be considered a date. The gala was more of an accident than something concrete and their brief run-ins at school, during classes, those hardly counted as romantic encounters. All they’d done at that point was have amazing, mind blowing sex. Lovers pretty much summed that up.

  Yet the title didn’t fill her with butterflies and shivers. If anything, it made her feel a little cold and empty, and a little more than confused. The last thing she wanted him to think of her as was a booty call. Someone to find when he needed an itch scratched. It made her feel a little sick to think that was all he wanted. But even as she thought it, she knew she was wrong. Kaleb wasn’t like that. He’d told her as much just that morning.

  “Katie?”

  Katie blinked and turned to find him watching her. She blushed. “Yes? Sorry.”

  He raised both eyebrows. “You okay? Where’d you go?”

  “Oh, uh.” She cleared her throat and looked down at her hands. “I was just listening to you.”

  “I wasn’t talking.”

  “Oh…” She fought not to grimace. “I was waiting for you … to talk.”

  “Katie.” He put his hand over hers. “What is it?”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to just tell him, to voice her concerns. Usually, she had no qualms about saying exactly what was on her mind. It was a sort of curse. It wasn’t that she didn’t lie, but she rarely saw the point of concealing what she felt. After all, it had been her idea both times to get into bed with him. Both times, she had made the first move because it was what she had wanted. In a way, it was her fault she was now in this position. But she still couldn’t bring herself to tell him her fears.

  She blurted out the first thing that popped into her head. “What if it’s you?”

  Kaleb stiffened as though she’d smacked him. “What?”

  “No!” She grabbed his hand. “I don’t mean you, but whoever this person is, they were at the gala, right? Well, what if it’s one of your exes?”

  He seemed to consider this a moment.

  “The notes suggest the sender is male,” he said at last. “My exes are all women.”

  “Or maybe they want us to think they’re male,” she countered.

  His gaze dropped to the binder as he fiddled with the pen in his hand. Then, very briskly, he turned to a fresh page and made the exact number of categories. He labeled each one, Friends, Enemies, Misc, and Lover. Katie watched as he began jotting down names.

  Lily and Kaylee went under Friends, followed by Jake, David, Sandeep and Parker. Under Enemies he wrote, Cole, Joyce, and Dale. Nothing went under Misc. Katie held her breath when his hand shifted to the last category. Lover.

  Katie.

  Her heart gave a hard kick in her chest.

  He drew his hand back, surveyed his work, and gave a satisfied nod.

  “Lily and Kaylee are my exes,” he explained, pointing to each name with the pen. “I dated Lily in high school. She moved to Florida after graduation with her family. Kaylee and I broke up six months ago. It was mutual. I think she’s dating a banker now.”

  Katie frowned. “That’s it?”

  Kaleb looked at her. “Were you expecting a more dramatic breakup?”

  She shook her head. “No, of course not. I’m just surprised there’s only two.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I’m only twenty-one. How many exes am I supposed to have?”

  Fingers of heat crept up her neck to fill her cheeks. “Well, it’s just that…” She shrugged and cleared her throat. “With your very impressive abilities in the bedroom I expected you to have had a whole lot more practice.”

  She refused to meet his gaze, but she could feel the heat of his grin burn the side of her face.

  “My impressive…” He chuckled, making her cringe. “Nope. No practice.” She saw him roll his tongue over his teeth from the corner of her eye. “That’s purely just talent.”

  Like a true coward, she decided to change the topic.

  “Who are all of these people?”

  “My friends from college. Jake and I have been friends since kindergarten. He’s my best friend. The others I met in college.”

  “And the enemies?”

  “Cole broke my nose during basketball practice senior year,” he started. “Dale stole my favorite toy car in third grade … never did get over that, and Joyce … Joyce is my stepmom. We don’t get along.”

  Katie made a humming sound in her throat. “The zombies. I remember.”

  He grinned boyishly. “Yeah. Zombies.”

  Katie chuckled as she curled her legs under her. “I guess that’s it.” She rested her head against the back. “It doesn’t look like our culprit is anyone we know. Not directly anyway. Unless you think Dale has upped his game since third grade and has gone from stealing toy cars to breaking and entering and voyeurism.”

  “It’s a good possibility, except I haven’t seen him in seven years.”

  Katie clicked her tongue. “There goes our only suspect.”

  He drummed his pen on the page as he looked over the lists. “What about at the gala?” He glanced at her. “Did you meet anyone there? Talk to anyone?”

  She knew she hadn’t, but she really thought about it before answering. “No. I was with Ashlee for the first half and then you for the rest.” She squinted as another thought occurred to her. “How did you find me? The place was packed.”

  He dropped his gaze. His lips quirked in a wiry grin. “I, uh…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I saw you the minute
I walked in. You were dancing. I thought I was imagining things at first. There was no way you were really there; so when you went to the terrace, I followed. I thought, hell, if it’s not her, I’ll apologize and leave. But …”

  Katie chuckled. “I thought you were a figment of my imagination, which is something I don’t have. I have no imagination at all. I’m all hard facts.” She laughed again.

  He sat back and tilted his head. “There’s nothing wrong with being sensible so long as you know when to let go, too.”

  She dropped her gaze to her knees. “If it wasn’t for Ashlee, and now you, I’d probably be a shut in, surrounded by pie charts and cats.”

  His finger found home beneath her chin. Her face was tipped and her mouth was covered by his.

  Katie sighed. Her eyes closed and she melted into him. Her arms snaked around his neck. She drew him closer, not satisfied until his hand was resting lightly on her waist. She slipped her fingers through his hair to cup the back of his neck.

  He broke the kiss with slow, lingering pecks. He drew away. He peered through thick lashes down at her. His hand slid up her side to stroke her back.

  “Katie…” He skimmed his fingers lightly over her moist lips. “I’m—”

  “I brought chocolate and the new Colin Farrell … whoa!”

  Katie and Kaleb broke apart, both whipping around to face the stairway, and a very stunned Ashlee at the top.

  “Ash…” Katie got to her feet. “What are you doing here?”

  Blue eyes bouncing like ping pongs from Kaleb to Katie, Ashlee opened her mouth but nothing came out. It just hung open, giving her a look of absolute shock.

  Kaleb rose to his feet. He shut the binder and set it down gently on the coffee table.

  “I should go,” he said quietly.

  “No!” Ashlee broke out of her stunned silence. She clunked forward in her towering heels. The paper bag in her hand rustled. “Sorry.” She dropped the bag and DVD case down on the coffee table. “I was just dropping these off and then I was leaving because I, uh…” She squinted her eyes, really concentrating as she stared hard at Katie. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  Katie had to repress the urge to facepalm. “Ash—”

  “Where is everyone?” A second later, a second figure trudged up the stairs, wielding a steaming box of pizza. Larson stepped up next to Ashlee and set the pizza down on the coffee table alongside the paper bag. “Why’s everyone standing around?” His gaze fixed on Kaleb and narrowed. “Do I know you?”

  Not sure what to make of this mysterious visit, Katie looked from one friend to the other, bemused while she answered, “Larson, this is Kaleb. Kaleb, Larson and you already know Ashlee.”

  The two exchanged nods.

  “What are you guys doing here?” she demanded.

  “I texted you!” Ashlee hissed under her breath. “You were clearly busy!”

  Larson and Ashlee both stared at her, their expressions both saying the same thing, what the hell?

  Katie sighed. “We were just…” She glanced at the binder. “Studying.”

  Ashlee arched a brow. “Uh huh. Well, we know how much you love your studying, so we’re just going to go.” She hooped her arm through Larson’s and began forcibly dragging him towards the stairs.

  “Hey, what about the movie … and my pizza?” Larson protested.

  Ashlee told him to shut up.

  “Guys, stop.” She did facepalm this time before turning to Kaleb. “I am so sorry. I had no idea they were coming over.”

  Kaleb smiled, but it was tight. “It’s okay. I should go anyway, let you hang out with your friends.”

  “Or, you should stay!” Ashlee volunteered, relinquishing her hold on Larson and charging forward again. “You like Colin Farrell, right?”

  Kaleb looked from Katie to Ashlee. He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

  Ashlee did a little clap-hop. “Great! We have pizza and I brought cookies—”

  “I brought cookies,” Larson interjected.

  Ashlee waved him away. “Technicalities.” She whirled on her heels. “I’ll go make popcorn. You can help me get the chips.” She grabbed Larson by the front of the shirt and hauled him downstairs.

  “Is this okay?” Kaleb asked once they were alone. “I can go if you want.”

  Katie turned to him. “I don’t want. I mean, if you want, then I guess it’s okay.”

  He ran his fingers back through his hair. “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

  She frowned. “Why would I be uncomfortable?”

  “Because you haven’t told your best friends about us.”

  Shame and guilt forced her gaze to the ground. “It’s not for the reason you think.”

  “You don’t trust them?”

  “No! I do without a shred of doubt, but I thought the less people who knew, the better.” She folded her arms across her abdomen. “Have you told your friends about me?”

  He hesitated. “Jake knows,” he said finally. “He knows I like someone.”

  “But you didn’t tell him it was me.”

  It was his turn to look away. “I was hoping to introduce you to him whenever you were comfortable with the idea of us.”

  Katie blinked. “There’s an us?”

  The look in his eyes could only be described as bracing, like he was bracing himself for something inevitable and painful.

  “Isn’t there?”

  She very slowly shook her head. “I don’t know. We never talked about it. I thought…”

  He raised an eyebrow. “That all I wanted was sex? It’s not,” he finished when she said nothing. “I told you, I like you, Katie. Things are a little complicated right now because of the whole school thing, but when I said I wanted this…” He waved a hand between them. “To continue once you’d graduated, I meant it. I have every intention of waiting for you at the other end of that stage. I still do. But things have changed. I don’t want to wait even though I know I should. I just…” He sighed and ran another frustrated hand through his hair. “I want you, Katie. I want you in a way that scares the fuck out of me; and no, I don’t mean just in bed, although we’re damn good there, too. I want an us.”

  Her heart was a wild drum in her ears, pounding with a force that was alarming. She didn’t even let herself think. She launched herself into his arms. He caught her full weight and crushed her into his chest.

  Her arms looped around his neck and she pushed up on her toes. She kissed him. She kissed him like they had minutes to live. She kissed him with all the heat and happiness and desire roaring inside her. She kissed him until they were both gasping for air.

  “Stay,” she panted. “I want you to stay.”

  “Just for the movie?”

  She shook her head. “I want an us with you.”

  His smile was beautiful. His arms cinched around her middle and lifted her up until her feet were no longer touching the floor. She laughed and dropped her mouth to his again.

  “Will you stop eavesdropping!” came a soft hiss from the stairway.

  “I’m the best friend here!” said the second voice. “I’ve got rights.”

  “Well, I’m hungry!”

  “Here. Have a chip.”

  Katie, still grinning, rolled her eyes as Kaleb gently set her down. She turned to the stairway.

  “You can come up,” she said.

  “You gave us away!” Ashlee growled, stomping up the rest of the way. “Why are you friends with him again?” she demanded of Katie.

  “Because I know it annoys you,” Katie replied, taking the chip bowl from her.

  Ashlee huffed. “Some friend you are.” She threw herself into the oversized armchair and kicked off her boots.

  “Ah but you love me,” Katie said, setting the chips down on the coffee table. “I mean, who else will put up with you?”

  Ashlee sighed. “True. It takes a rare person to understand my awesomeness.”

  “Not to mention that thing that shall not be nam
ed.”

  Ashlee’s blue eyes went wide. “Oh, yes. No naming allowed. You swore to take it to your grave, along with the shovel.”

  “What are they talking about?” Kaleb mumbled to Larson, who waved at him.

  “Bro, I don’t even try to understand anymore.”

  Ashlee and Katie exchanged glances and grinned.

  Larson took the other armchair, leaving the sofa empty for Katie and Kaleb. Katie motioned for Kaleb to sit while she went to put in the movie. She let the previews play as she hurried downstairs to check on her aunt.

  “Hey.”

  Aunt Hannah looked up from the thick book open in front of her. “Hey, I see you have company.”

  Katie nodded. “We just put a movie in.” She checked her watch. “It’s almost closing time anyway. Why don’t you come up and…?”

  Her aunt shook her head. “I think I’m going to head off to bed, actually. I’m kind of tired.”

  Concern had Katie moving closer to the counter. “Are you sure?” At her aunt’s nod, Katie relented. “Okay.” She started to turn around, when she remembered. “How did things go at the bank?”

  “Fine,” she replied. “Just made a deposit.”

  Katie nodded. “Oh! I forget to tell you.” She moved to the counter and placed her hands on the glass. “I made the orders for the banner and business cards. They should be arriving just in time for the convention next weekend. Tomorrow, I’ll do up some swag and some flyers.”

  Aunt Hannah looked at her and chuckled. “You’re incorrigible, just like your mother.”

  The doctors, after Katie was released, had warned her aunt not to talk to Katie about her parents. To try and minimize her association with her previous life in case Katie reverted back to that mute shell of a person once more. Aunt Hannah hadn’t listened. It was the stories she told Katie at night of her parents that kept her sane and helped her move on. It still hurt hearing about them, but she knew it could have been much worse.

  “Katie.” She turned her hand over and lightly took Katie’s. “Sweetie, we really need to talk.”

  Katie squinted at her. “You know how I know you’re not serious about the whole selling thing? Because you made plans to go to the convention after you got the offer. If you were set on it, you wouldn’t have bothered. So what is this really about?”