Remember Me

by Jo-Anna Walker

  “You said that I looked like shit and to go get my woman back,” Garrith blurted.

  “Exactly. That’s what I do. I bring people together. I make them whole. Complete. You two are clearly meant to be. I will make sure that that happens,” Matteo stated.

  A weight was lifted off of Garrith. His tense body relaxed. He let out a sigh.

  Matteo smirked. “Forgot how I roll, didn’t you?”

  Garrith scoffed. The guy was good at mind-fucks. Got information out of anyone. He frowned. “Love.”

  Keisha startled and looked up at him.

  “Do you remember Club Silk?”

  Chapter 22

  Club Silk.

  Keisha remembered hearing the girls at work talking about it. Did she go there? Oh God. She couldn’t remember. Her memory wasn’t back completely. What if it never came back? Her chest constricted, her heart racing. She couldn’t breathe.

  “Keisha.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the commanding tone. She didn’t know who spoke. Her lungs burned as she tried gasping for breath. Shaking her head, she covered her face in her hands. “I can’t remember. I…” She hiccupped. She thought it was over. She thought it was better. She thought—

  “Keisha,” Dr. Santos said, his voice firm.

  Her eyes popped open, her gaze landing on his.

  “Breathe, love,” Garrith whispered in her ear.

  Dr. Santos leaned forward and grabbed her hands, pressing his thumbs into her wrists. “Listen to your Dom.”

  Her eyes widened. “How—”

  “Breathe,” Garrith demanded.

  She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart pounding hard against her ribs. Little bursts of air left her lips but it wasn’t enough. Garrith wrapped a hand around her throat, holding her head in place. Her stomach flipped at being restrained by the two big men.

  “I said breathe,” Garrith demanded.

  Keisha swallowed past the lump that burned her throat before taking deep cleansing breaths.

  “That’s it.” Dr. Santos rubbed his thumbs over her wrists.

  “You can let go.” Keisha licked her dry lips. “I’m fine now.”

  He looked at Garrith. “She’s lying.”

  Her jaw clenched. How the hell would he know that?”

  Dr. Santos’ fingers pressed against her pulse points. “Your heart is still racing. You need to calm down.”

  “Love, look at me.”

  She looked up at Garrith.

  His warm blue eyes drew her in, captivating her. He smiled. “Talk to me.”

  “I don’t remember Club Silk. I don’t remember going. I…I…” Her heart sped up.

  “Hey, kitten. Stop,” Garrith barked. He released her throat and brushed a thumb along her bottom lip. “I went to the club. I never brought you there.”

  A breath left her on a whoosh. “I’ve never been there?”

  His voice softened. “No, love.”

  A laugh escaped her lips. “God, I feel like I’m losing it. I thought I couldn’t remember.”

  Dr. Santos released her wrists and sat back. “If I had seen you at the club, trust me, I would remember.”

  A snarl sounded from beside her and she looked up at Garrith.

  “Down, boy. I was just stating a fact,” Dr. Santos stated, his eyes flashing with amusement.

  “Are you guys friends?” she asked, grabbing Garrith’s hand.

  “Yes,” they said at the same time. She raised an eyebrow. Dr. Santos smirked and rose to his feet before heading to his desk.

  “Is he a Dom too?” she whispered.

  Garrith coughed. “He is. Thinks he’s the king of Doms.”

  “I heard that,” Dr. Santos said from his desk.

  Garrith laughed. She looked at Dr. Santos, who leaned against his desk and nodded.

  “Talk to me,” Garrith said, his voice firm.

  Keisha took a breath and brushed her finger over the back of his hand. “I feel disconnected from you.” She waited, bracing herself; when he didn’t say anything, she continued. “I love you. I know now that I’ve loved you ever since I fell in your lap. At first, our alternate lifestyle…” She bit her lip, her cheeks heating.

  “Keisha.” Garrith squeezed her hand.

  She took a breath. She wasn’t nervous about talking in front of the two men. She was nervous about Garrith being mad at her or, worse, disappointed. She submitted to him in the bedroom but she felt like something was missing. Is there such a thing as a bad submissive?

  “You need to get out of your head, love,” Garrith said, pinching her chin.

  “Tell him what’s going on.”

  Keisha met her doctor’s hard stare. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Dr. Santos looked at Garrith. “You’ve been holding back.”

  “How the hell do you know that?” Garrith snapped.

  “If you haven’t, she wouldn’t be hesitating.”

  “Are you blaming me?”

  Dr. Santos’ eyes twinkled. “No, but I am blaming you for not talking to her.”

  “You don’t know shit,” Garrith growled.

  “How long did it take you to talk about your alternative lifestyle?” Dr. Santos asked, crossing his arms under his chest.

  Keisha watched the back and forth between the two men. Her doctor was good. Guessing exactly what’d happened before either of them said anything was astounding.

  “Long enough,” Garrith mumbled.

  “Listen. I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” Keisha said, rising to her feet. “I just—”

  “You’re not leaving, kitten.” Garrith wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her against him.

  Her heart started at the feel of the hard body pressed into her but her chest constricted. She needed air. She didn’t know how to explain what was going on in her head.

  Garrith’s grip in her shoulders tightened. “Keisha.”

  “Stop. Please. Just let me go,” she cried.

  Dr. Santos stepped up to them. “Look at me.”

  She swallowed hard, her body relaxing as she looked up at him.

  His dark eyes were cold, his jaw tensing as his gaze bored into hers. “Garrith loves you and I love him like a brother. Therefore that makes you family. But a stubborn sub who runs away from their problems pisses me off.”

  Keisha tried taking a step back but only bumped into Garrith’s hard body. His firm hold on her shoulders let her know that there was no way that she was running away from any of this.

  “My name is Matteo Santos. I’ve been a psychiatrist for ten years. A Dom my whole life.”

  Whole life? “Why are you—”

  “Don’t interrupt,” he snapped.

  Keisha jumped, her mouth slamming shut. The doctor had seemed so calm and collected earlier. Now, he just…controlled.

  Matteo smiled and rubbed his chin, his gaze flicking over her head. “Definitely submissive.”

  “I know,” Garrith responded.

  “Now,” Matteo looked down at her. “I don’t share my personal life with anyone but you, Keisha, have somehow gotten me to speak.”

  Her palms went sweaty, her throat dry. “I don’t—”

  Matteo raised an eyebrow. “You’re lucky that you’re not mine. I’ve punished subs for less.”

  “She’s learning,” Garrith replied, squeezing her shoulders lightly.

  Keisha’s heart swelled at the praise in his voice.

  “I know and she’ll keep learning, too. Now sit.” Matteo sat in the chair across from the couch and crossed his arms under his chest. “I have all day.”

  Keisha sighed and did as she was told. She remembered being stronger than this.

  ***

  She agreed to stay. Thank God. Garrith sighed in relief. He felt the disconnection that Keisha was referring to as well. Since she got her memory back, they made love once and that didn’t end well for either of them. He placed a hand on her thigh, gripping her tight. He needed to hold her, to feel what they had before
everything went down. He needed his love.

  “Garrith?”

  Garrith startled and looked up at Matteo.

  “Distracted?” he asked.

  Garrith sighed. “Yes.” He liked the guy but he was way too perceptive for his own good.

  Keisha leaned against him and with a shaky hand, she brushed it through her hair. She looked up at him. “I miss you,” she whispered.

  His heart sunk. God, what was wrong with him? Words froze on his tongue. He chalked it up to not being alone. That’s why he couldn’t talk to her. Would he if Matteo wasn’t there? Garrith bit back a scoff. Probably not. Asshole.

  “I’m right here, love. I’m always here,” he said, brushing his thumb along her bottom lip.

  She sighed, her eyes glossing over. How was he going to fix this?

  “Now that we have a start, tell each other one thing you miss. Then we’ll go from there.”

  They both looked at Matteo.

  He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t hear any answers.”

  Garrith shook his head and looked down at Keisha. “I miss your laugh.”

  She chewed her bottom lip. “I miss the way you used to look at me.”

  His stomach clenched. What the hell was she talking about? “I always look—”

  “Don’t be so defensive. Take it. Use it. Embrace what she told you but don’t you dare get mad at her for her response.” Matteo rose to his feet and headed to the door before turning back to them. “I want you both back in a week.”

  Garrith rolled his eyes. “I don’t—”

  “That wasn’t a request.” Matteo opened the door and waited.

  Keisha thanked the doctor and left the small office.

  Garrith followed but was stopped by a heavy hand on his arm. He looked into Matteo’s dark eyes.

  “Don’t hold back. Give her all of you and she’ll do the same.”

  ***

  Keisha regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. When Garrith’s eyes went cold after hearing her confession, she thought she was going to throw up.

  They drove home in silence. Garrith’s hand gripped her inner thigh like he thought she would run or float away. Didn’t he know that she was his? Forever and always?

  She didn’t know what else to do. She didn’t know how to fix all of this shit and make him talk to her. They could continue going to see Matteo but she needed Garrith back. Now. She couldn’t wait much longer or else she feared it would drive them apart.

  Why? Why did their relationship have to be so hard? After everything they had been through, couldn’t they just have some ounce of happiness in their lives? A quiet sob escaped her lips. Tears burned her eyes, her chest constricting in a vise.

  As they pulled up to their driveway, an answer came to her like a slap in the face. She almost burst with glee. Why didn’t she think of this before? Not that she was sure if it would work or not, but she was desperate. She would do anything to get things back to the way they used to be. She needed her love, her Dom, her whatever. She just needed Garrith back.

  As he put the car into park, Keisha left the vehicle and headed up the stairs. Remembering everything about the small home made her heart lift but with everything going on, she hadn’t had a chance to enjoy it. To embrace the memories as they came back to her.

  “Keisha?”

  She didn’t turn around but unlocked the door, headed into the house and threw her bag on the floor. They hadn’t been to their playroom since before she got her memory back but now she needed it more than ever.

  “Love, I think we should talk.”

  Talk. Yeah, right. Garrith didn’t talk but maybe after Keisha gave him what she felt he needed, he would. It was worth a shot. She opened the door to the basement and headed down the stairs, Garrith hot on her heels.

  “What are you doing?”

  She braced herself and before she even reached the bottom, she felt the pull from their room. A room that had given them both so much pleasure and ecstasy over the years. A room that had helped bring them closer together. Before, she took advantage of it; now, she embraced it.

  She took a breath and lifted her dress over her head, her heart thumping when Garrith’s breath caught. She could feel his eyes boring into the back of her as she stripped completely, standing naked before him as she entered their playroom.

  Taking a deep breath, she walked on shaky legs to a spot in the middle of the room. A spot that she had been to before, but now it was different. Now, she was giving all of herself.

  With her eyes downcast, she knelt, placed her palms on her thighs and submitted. Completely and utterly, she was his.

  Chapter 23

  Garrith’s breath caught. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. On the floor. In front of him. Keisha. Submitting. Holy shit.

  It had happened before but not like this. Never like this. She always put up a fight when he told her to kneel. Always gave him a hard time. They played. Poked at each other to see how far they could take it but this…this felt real.

  He wasn’t like his friend, Matteo. Matteo was a Dom. Through and through. Garrith didn’t know his story. Matteo didn’t share. Garrith played. Dominated for fun because that’s what Keisha liked but now, seeing her presenting herself to him before his very eyes made him realize that this was more. Deeper.

  “Permission to speak, my love?”

  His stomach flipped and he cleared his throat. They had never taken it this far. “Yes,” he croaked out.

  She took a breath, her shoulders relaxing. “I love—”

  “Wait.” He still couldn’t believe this. “Look at me. I want to see your eyes when you’re talking to me.”

  Keisha lifted her head.

  Their gazes collided and if Garrith weren’t still shocked, it probably would have brought him to his knees.

  “I love you. Things have been different since I got my memory back but I couldn’t figure out why. Maybe I never will. But I do know that I want to give myself to you.” Her cheeks reddened.

  Fuck it. Garrith knelt on the floor in front of her and took her hands in his. Her eyes widened.

  He almost chuckled. “I know we’ve been off. Not connected. Out of sync, whatever you want to call it. Like Matteo said, it will take time but if we don’t work at it, he’ll come kick both of our asses.”

  Keisha smiled, her eyes darkening with sadness.

  Garrith’s stomach clenched. He pinched her chin, tilting her head. “Talk.”

  “I know we only play but I want more. I… I’m exhausted.”

  “What are you saying, kitten?” he asked, frowning. His heart thumped hard against his ribs.

  “I’m saying that I need more. I need this,” she motioned to the room around them, “constantly. I know we’ve been playing for years, but I want to take this seriously. I want to…submit…to you.”

  He searched her face, his mind reeling with thoughts of their many times of play throughout the years but now, it wouldn’t be just playing. She wanted more and he would do that for her. “Love, if that’s what you need, I will give that to you. I will give you that and more.”

  A breath escaped her lips on a whoosh, her eyes welling with unshed tears. “Thank you.”

  “Hey,” he cupped her face. “Why the tears?”

  “I thought you would be mad or disappointed.”

  “Never. I would only be mad if you didn’t tell me what you need. I’m not a mind reader and even though I know you better than I know myself, I still need you to tell me what you need sometimes.” He placed a tender kiss on her lips before pulling her onto his lap. God, he loved her.

  “I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to say anything,” she said, unbuttoning his shirt.

  “Keisha, you’ve been through a lot, but I’m here.”

  “I need help getting out of my head sometimes. Does that sound weird?” she asked, running her hands down his chest.

  “Not at all. I’ll help you get out of your head, love.” A warm tingle sp
read through his body at the feel of her soft hands brushing down his chest. “But we need to take this slow.”

  Her movements stopped. She frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Before you lost your memory, I knew what your limits were but now, they might be different. I need you to tell me. What you want and don’t want. How far you are willing to go. Anything you want to try, I will do. For you.”

  “But what if I tell you to stop?” she asked quietly.

  He frowned. “Love, some things that we do, we might not like. Even though we’ve been playing in this lifestyle for years, we will always find out new things about each other. That’s what makes it exciting. As we get older, our likes and dislikes could change. It’s human nature to change our minds.”

  She looked away and chewed her bottom lip. “You won’t be disappointed if I like something one day and not like it the next?”

  Garrith pinched her chin, turning her head to meet his gaze. “Of course not. Everything I do is for you. Even if I don’t like it, as long as you are happy, that’s all that I care about, kitten.” And that was the fucking truth. Why it took him so long to figure that out was beyond him.

  “I need you to be patient with me. I want more but I don’t know if we—”

  “Love, if we fall, we will pick each other up. This is not something that’s set in stone but set in our hearts. We are in this together. As one. I promise you though, I will push you.” Garrith ran his hands down her back and cupped her ass. The feel of her naked flesh under his fingertips sent his blood roaring but he needed to get this out before he took it further. “I will challenge you. I will take you to the highest point of your limits but never more. Nothing will happen that you do not consent to, kitten.”

  Keisha cupped his face in her palm. “Promise me.”

  He grinned. “I promise, love. We have to take this one day at a time. We both work. This can’t be twenty-four/seven. In most cases, it doesn’t work that way. But we’ll set some time aside for us. We’ll make this work. We’ll give each other what we need.” He fisted her hair, pulling her head back. “When that happens, whatever takes place will be on my time, pet.”