Return of the Untamed Billionaire

by Carol Marinelli

  She wanted to tell him that there could never be babies but she did not want to spoil the night and she looked at him.

  ‘There’s something I have to tell you, and I am scared you will be cross.’

  ‘Don’t be scared.’ He guessed that she was talking about Mika.

  ‘I don’t want to tell you tonight. I’m tired, and I’m worried about tomorrow.’

  ‘Then sleep,’ he said. ‘It will keep.’

  And she lay in his arms and told him a truth.

  ‘Life’s harder without you in it, Roman.’

  He didn’t believe it, she knew.

  ‘You need to tell Daniil what you told me.’

  ‘I shall.’

  ‘Now.’

  ‘It’s midnight.’

  ‘Do you think he would care about that?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Then call him.’

  Roman did.

  His voice was soothing and sad too, and she lay listening to this proud man explain to his twin all he just had told her.

  And she fell asleep thinking of Firebird and hoping that tomorrow she could dance for him.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  ‘BONJOUR, MADEMOISELLE.’

  Josie was back in the kitchen as Anya passed by, but this time from the direction of Roman’s room.

  It had been bliss to wake in his bed, even if Roman hadn’t been in it.

  ‘Bonjour, Josie,’ Anya called, and then remembered that Josie’s granddaughter had been sick and, in terrible French, enquired about her.

  She was doing much better, as far as Anya could make out.

  ‘Bon!’ Anya smiled.

  She headed to the balcony and Roman put his paper down. Neither had to enquire how the other had slept.

  It had been bliss.

  She poured a hot chocolate and ate some berries.

  ‘The cast list goes up at ten,’ Anya said.

  ‘You’ll be on it.’

  ‘I’m not so sure.’

  The nerves were starting to come back, though that was to be expected given that tonight was opening night.

  ‘Do you want—?’ Roman started, but his question was interrupted by a loud scream from Josie and he jumped up and moved quickly to see what the problem was.

  And then Anya saw Roman smile as a hysterical Josie spoke to him excitedly.

  He turned and explained the problem to a bemused Anya. ‘Josie had seen me on the balcony and then opened the elevator...’

  Daniil was walking in, with Libby beside him, holding little Nadia and laughing.

  ‘Roman mustn’t have mentioned that he had an identical twin,’ Libby said. ‘The doorman opened the elevator and we came straight up.’

  ‘I had the same thing happen at your place,’ Roman said, but Libby’s eyes had drifted to Anya, who sat in her robe and had obviously come from Roman’s bed.

  ‘Caught!’ Anya said.

  ‘We’d already guessed!’ Libby grinned. ‘Anya, we just had to come and see Roman after he called last night, and—I’m going to be terribly rude—is there any chance...?’

  ‘You want tickets for tonight?’ Anya smiled. ‘Of course. Sev and Naomi are flying in too and I have left tickets for Rachel at the box office. We should call Nikolai...’

  ‘He’ll be on his yacht in the middle of nowhere,’ Daniil said.

  Roman wasn’t so sure. He looked at his brother, who had come all these miles just to speak with him face to face.

  ‘I understand now,’ Daniil said, and they embraced. ‘I’m sorry,’ Daniil admitted, ashamed at insisting that Roman speak in English.

  ‘No need,’ Roman said.

  Anya didn’t want to go to work.

  It was so wonderful to catch up, she wanted to sit and laugh and reminisce, but she really could not be late this morning.

  ‘Get ready,’ Roman said when he saw the time.

  She went back to her pretty bedroom and put on her dance clothes and then a taupe linen wrap dress and flat shoes. She checked her bag and then went back out onto the balcony to say goodbye.

  Libby smiled when she saw her. ‘Are you off?’

  ‘I have to rehearse and then check the cast list...’ She closed her eyes as she recalled how terrified she’d been yesterday.

  How terrified she was now.

  It seemed such a long time ago but now nerves were starting to flood back and they were fierce because she had friends coming to see her and it would be the ultimate let down and embarrassment if she was cut.

  ‘There’s a chance it won’t be me that you see perform as Firebird tonight,’ she admitted, and her cheeks went red as she did.

  She glanced over at Roman but he just rolled his eyes as if she was mad to even think she was about to be cut.

  Anya explained further to Libby. ‘I’ve had a difficult time at rehearsals and yesterday was terrible.’ Her jaw gritted as Roman gave an exaggerated yawn.

  ‘Well, if you want to catch up once the cast list is up, just say,’ Libby offered, because, though she hadn’t reached Anya’s heights, she knew all about being cut and knew that Anya might want to regroup well away from the theatre and even away from Roman and Daniil.

  ‘It might give these two a chance to catch up.’

  Anya hesitated. She liked to be alone on the day of a performance but she recalled Roman’s words, that whatever she had been doing these past couple of weeks hadn’t been working.

  Usually she would go back to her hotel room and take a nap, or rather pretend to relax and mentally prepare for tonight’s performance.

  Maybe it was time to try something different.

  ‘Whatever happens, I finish at one,’ Anya said. ‘Perhaps we could meet and...’ She gave a small tense shrug. ‘I can’t do a big lunch on the day of a performance.’

  ‘Of course not,’ Libby said. ‘How about we look at the shops?’

  It sounded like something to look forward to and Anya nodded.

  She went to head out and there was Josie, still flustered at having Daniil arrive, and she was coming out of the gym with a broom.

  The door didn’t close behind her and Anya glanced in.

  It wasn’t a gym.

  And even if he had never told her, Anya knew then that she was loved.

  In her time away, mirrors had been put in and there was a barre where she could rehearse.

  She wanted to go and thank him, but this morning was for Roman and his twin so she headed for the theatre.

  * * *

  Anya walked quickly and as she went through the square she forgot that this was where she had seen him kiss Celeste as the nerves danced and fluttered in her throat and chest.

  She took her place at the barre and the morning was long.

  For everyone.

  All anyone wanted was the cast list to be put up.

  And finally it was.

  She tried to walk slowly and not show her fear.

  ‘Firebird, Tatania.’

  Even seeing it written, she still could not quite believe she had made it. A part of her had thought, after two weeks of terrible rehearsals, that she might be dropped.

  Mika was there, relieved to see that he was still Ivan the Prince after yesterday’s rehearsal disaster.

  It really was a cutthroat world and things changed in an instant.

  Perhaps that was why she loved it so much, Anya thought.

  She watched as Mika walked off and if they were to dance well tonight then there was something that needed to be said.

  ‘Hey.’ She knocked on his dressing-room door and he called for her to enter.

  ‘Mika, I need you to make me look good, just as much as you need me. Don’t you ever speak like tha
t to me again.’

  She didn’t wait for his response; instead she went to try on her costume.

  Her costume had been let out but as she tried it on she felt it pull at the bust, and the costume manager said nothing but her jaw gritted as she would be spending the afternoon letting it out a couple of millimetres more.

  Anya left the theatre for a few precious hours. It was a hive of activity—costumes were being steamed and delivered to dressing-rooms, wigs were being prepared and, though she would usually go back to the hotel and rest, she smiled as she headed off to meet Libby.

  ‘Well!’ Libby said when she saw Anya’s smile. ‘I don’t need to ask!’

  ‘I am very relieved,’ Anya admitted. ‘I really wasn’t sure if I would be Firebird tonight. Things are tense back there and the costume manager is not speaking to me.’ Anya rolled her eyes. ‘I’ve put on a little weight.’

  ‘Well, you look amazing for it,’ Libby said. ‘I need to find a dress to wear tonight.’

  And there was no place nicer to shop than Paris. Libby found something for the performance in a very dark shade of crimson that looked fabulous with her blond hair and Anya held Nadia while Libby went to try it on.

  She wanted a baby.

  Never had she fully admitted it to herself, but holding Nadia, so precious and tiny, Anya felt tears sting at the back of her eyes.

  She stood up, refusing to give in to them. She knew that she would look mad sitting in the middle of a luxury boutique crying her eyes out.

  Instead she examined the clothes and held up a dress that was nothing like she would ever choose normally. It was a halter-neck and the colours of a peacock’s tail in full display, and beside it were shoes that were a little high for Anya, but not too high.

  ‘What do you think?’ Libby asked as she came out of the dressing-room.

  ‘You look wonderful,’ Anya told her. ‘You certainly don’t look as if you’ve just had a baby.’

  ‘Well, ballet has helped with that...’ Libby started, but then changed topic in mid-sentence when she saw the dress that Anya was holding. ‘Anya, you have to try that on.’

  ‘I don’t like halter-necks...’ Anya said, but then she decided that she might as well see what it looked like on.

  And with the shoes too.

  She examined herself in the mirrors. The dress showed her back and every last inch of her slender arms but she liked it and she remembered Roman had told her to stop covering herself up.

  And why did she?

  Yes, she was very slim but she looked after her body and was proud of it.

  ‘Oh, Anya!’ Libby’s jaw dropped when Anya stepped out. ‘I’ve never seen you in anything other than grey or beige—you look amazing.’

  ‘Taupe,’ Anya corrected. ‘I don’t wear beige.’

  But she did love the dress.

  So much so that she decided to wear it home. It was summery outside and she felt summery on the inside today now that she was free from her anger about Celeste.

  She wasn’t angry any more. If anything, she thought of Roman’s wife fondly, because Roman had never known a home till then.

  As she and Libby walked through the square where Anya had seen Roman and Celeste kissing, she thought about a woman who’d had the courage to ask for what she’d wanted.

  And the universe had sent her Roman!

  Anya shocked Libby by suddenly laughing out loud.

  ‘I was just thinking of...’ she smiled as she said it now ‘...Roman and his wife.’

  ‘So,’ Libby asked, because she simply couldn’t resist, ‘how long have you and Roman been seeing each other?’

  ‘A few weeks...’ Anya said, and then Libby nudged her and Anya laughed again and told the truth.

  ‘He had my heart a very long time ago.’

  There were two surprises waiting for them when they got back.

  Sev and Naomi were out on the balcony and Rachel had arrived.

  ‘Rachel!’ Anya kissed her on the cheeks. ‘I was hoping to see you. I left your tickets at the box office—’ And then she broke off when she saw that Rachel was wearing a wedding ring.

  Three surprises.

  ‘What’s this?’ Anya asked, and then frowned as yet another surprise arrived and she saw that Nikolai was here.

  And wearing a wedding ring too.

  ‘You two!’ Anya said. ‘But I didn’t even know you were seeing each other.’

  ‘Well, you can talk,’ Rachel said.

  ‘But when did this happen?’

  ‘A couple of weeks ago.’ Rachel gleefully showed off her ring. ‘We’re going to be living in Belgravia and...’ she turned and smiled at Sev and Naomi ‘...we’re coming to see you in New York at the new year.’

  ‘I knew,’ Roman said.

  ‘How?’ Rachel frowned.

  ‘Nikolai did not want to speak of who he was dating and I saw Rachel sitting, waiting, on the dock when we got off his yacht.’

  ‘And you didn’t tell me?’ Anya said.

  ‘I don’t tell you everything, Anya.’ And he watched as her eyes narrowed at the tease—there were things she didn’t yet know.

  It was a wonderful catch up of friends.

  Yes, friends.

  As they chatted about Nikolai and Rachel’s secret wedding, Anya watched Libby pass little Nadia to Daniil, who held his daughter both easily and tenderly.

  She wanted this for Roman.

  And it hurt to know that it was something she could not give him.

  ‘I have to go,’ she said at four.

  It had been a lovely day but she needed to get into the right head space to perform as the firebird tonight.

  ‘Merde,’ Libby said.

  ‘Doesn’t merde mean shit in French?’ Sev asked.

  Anya laughed. ‘It is a superstition that it would be bad luck to wish a dancer good luck before a performance.’

  And then the nicest thing happened.

  ‘Oh,’ Rachel said, ‘before you go, Anya, I’ve got something for you.’

  Anya took the present and opened it with a frown and then smiled as she took out a slender glass case. Inside it was a white feather.

  ‘It’s from both my wedding dress and my favourite costume...’

  ‘Which she stole,’ Libby said.

  Anya opened the clasp and took out the feather.

  ‘It reminds me of you when you dance...’ Rachel said.

  ‘Thank you so much,’ Anya said. It really was a thoughtful gift. ‘I shall have it in my dressing-room.’

  ‘Here,’ Libby said, and there was another present, a little porcelain thing with long dangly legs that Anya recognised from the gym at Daniil’s. And, though she was sure it wasn’t the same one, she knew that this gift was something precious to Libby and Daniil and that too would sit on her dressing table.

  Naomi stood then. ‘I had no idea how superstitious you lot were about opening night but we brought you these...’

  It was a massive bag of peanut-butter cups and perhaps the sweetest of gifts. They had seen her sneaking food and had simply accepted her.

  Anya hugged her.

  Naomi didn’t know the dance world and gave a blink of surprise at the delight with which Anya received the gift.

  ‘I will keep the foil from tonight forever.’

  ‘Oh, she will,’ Roman said, and then he looked at Anya. ‘Do you want me to walk you to the theatre?’

  ‘Thank you.’

  They didn’t speak much as they walked and Anya apologised for that. ‘I need to focus now on tonight.’’

  ‘Whatever suits you,’ he said. ‘And that dress does.’

  Anya smiled. ‘It was nice, shopping with Libby.’

  They walked through warm Par
is streets and through the square and, yes, she had forgiven him for marrying Celeste.

  Roman was right. She could not have had this career and their intensity back then. It had been too consuming and also Roman was right that they would have been as poor as mice and he would never have accepted being kept by her.

  But there was another reason she was quiet.

  Anya knew she could not dance well tonight with the weight of what she knew she had to reveal.

  They were at the stage door and she remembered their first kiss long ago by a stage door back home and so did he.

  ‘You were right,’ she said.

  ‘I know,’ he replied, and then smiled. ‘About what?’

  ‘Roman, I am not a prodigy. I have seen dancers younger than me rise faster. I had to work and be selfish and absorbed to get here. I didn’t fail that audition because of you. I have not been chosen for many parts since that day. Two years ago, when I made Lilac Fairy, it was by chance. Some of the critics said I was a rather large Lilac Fairy and so I regrouped. When I understudied as Firebird, I was more selfish than ever. I trained harder, I put all I had into sculpting my body for the part in case the time came when I could perform it. When Daniil and Libby saw me that first night as Firebird, it was no accident that I performed well. I had waited for my moment and planned for it, but there were consequences to that choice.’

  The perfectionist must now tell the person who mattered the most to her that, no, she was not perfect.

  And it had to be now because she could not dance with the weight of it, not even for one more night.

  ‘I can’t have children, Roman.’

  He looked deep into her eyes.

  ‘Because of my eating I have stopped menstruating. It is my own fault. I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Why are you saying sorry to me?’

  ‘Because I believe that you love me.’

  Still he did not answer.

  ‘And,’ Anya said, ‘if you do then it affects you.’

  ‘Anya—’

  ‘No,’ she interrupted him. ‘I don’t want your knee-jerk reaction. I don’t want you to tell me it does not matter when we both know that it does. I know that one day you will resent me for it.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Oh, but you shall. When I don’t eat or I practise too hard, you will remind me of the cost of that choice. I cannot bear the thought of you blaming me.’