False Start (Mavericks #1)

by Julianna Marley

  “I’m gonna split too,” Shay said, digging his hands deep into his pockets.

  “Thank you for everything Shay, I’ll see you this weekend for the bachelor party,” she smiled excitedly, trying to clear the heavy tension hanging between the two men. Giving her a small hug, Shay looked over at Jax. Without missing a beat, Jax glanced in the opposite direction at the rides, clearly unaffected by anything Shay had to say. She still couldn’t figure out what she had walked in on in the locker room. They were friends. Why did they look like they were going to have an all-out brawl?

  “Enjoy your night,” Shay nodded, slipping on his sunglasses, taking the hint.

  “Want to go find the girls?” Jax asked, as if he hadn’t just blown off one of his teammates.

  “What was that all about?”

  “Boy needs to learn some respect,” he shrugged.

  “Is that why y’all were in each other’s faces in the locker room?” she asked, crossing her arms. It didn’t make any sense. There could be nothing that would ever make Jax so angry that he would be in his friend’s face ready to fight. At least not the Jax she remembered.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he nudged her arm.

  “Come on, let’s go find the munchkins.” He nodded towards the masses of people, grinning down at her baring his beautiful dimples. Between his heated stares all afternoon and all the light touching she was forcing herself to stop being so easily affected by him before she got hurt again.

  Not waiting for a response, he started towards the rides. The more they walked, the more they were separated by the crowd, fans stopping him to shake his hand as she dodged around families and strollers trying to follow the back of his dark blonde head standing high above the crowd, but failing miserably. Stopping, she looked around the crowd for him, but she had lost him, wanting to laugh at the irony of it all. She had finally relaxed and was willing to go with him to find the girls and she had lost him amongst all the chaos. A true metaphor for her life.

  A large, warm palm rested against her lower back, and she didn’t need to turn around to know it was Jax’s. No other hand would send such a ruthless shock through her body the way that his did. The way it always had. The direct ache stabbing low in her belly.

  “Over here,” he said against her ear, his voice sounding like butter. She wanted to just freeze this moment. To stop in the middle of the crowd and the chaos and just feel the things that he made her feel. She didn’t want to think and she didn’t want to overanalyze, she just wanted to feel his hands on her again. To appreciate them one more time.

  “Mama! Daddy!” Hailey yelled running towards them, jumping up and down. “Daddy, can we go on the big, big, big slide now?” she asked looking up at Jax as if he held all her hopes and dreams in his single response.

  “Only if we can race!” Jax removed his big hand off her back, grinning down at her, before running towards the slide. The girls screamed as they chased after him, making her laugh watching them trying to catch him as he grabbed a potato sack bag.

  Her feet deciding to move again, she made her way towards the metal fence at the bottom of the slide. Watching them walk slowly up the narrow staircase, Jax’s large body barely squeezing through, she rested into the fence. Jax as a father had always amazed her. He was so patient, so protective and had done just about anything to keep the girls’ smiling. She found comfort knowing that no matter what happened between them, he would still be the best daddy any little girl could hope for, something that was so incredibly important to her. She wanted her girls to have better than she had growing up with her father; and with Jax, they did.

  At the top of the slide, she watched him pick up Hannah, carefully placing her on his long leg, before doing the same with Hailey, looking like such a big kid himself. She couldn’t help but laugh quietly at the sight of the big man squeezing himself into a narrow slide on a burlap sack.

  Jax’s booming voice from the top of the slide sounded off. “Ready, set, go!” he shouted, pushing them off the top of the slide as they whipped down the bumps. Screaming, the girls’ tiny bodies swayed a little under his firm grasp as they came to a halt at the bottom of the slide, falling over in contagious laughter making her laugh too.

  This was her family.

  And she had failed them.

  Watching them make their way towards her still laughing and catching their breath, she looked up at Jax, his eyes set on her. He looked like a man on a mission, narrowing in on his prey. And she had an odd feeling that she was the prey.

  9

  “Oh God!”

  Barely recognizing her own voice cutting through the quiet air, Alivia weaved her fingers into her hair, pulling it just for something to hold on to.

  “Jax, right there,” she moaned, her breathing crashing her chest up and down. Forcing her eyes open, she took in the gorgeous man lying on top of her, meeting each thrust. “That’s it.”

  It had been too long since she had felt the strength of his body on top of hers, following his distinctive rhythm. Resting on her tight body, he forced her to look at him.

  “I want you to let go, Liv,” he demanded, his voice echoing in her head, pumping his hips deeper, stretching her.

  She wanted that too.

  To just let go.

  How many nights had she longed for him to say that to her again? How many nights had she seen his face when she was forced to use toys to keep from imploding?

  Leaning against her ear, his labored breathing catching up with her, the feel of him ignited her body.

  “Trust me.”

  And she wanted to. She wanted more than anything to let go and have faith in him again. Forgetting about the past and move on despite being completely and utterly terrified. But could she? Before having a chance to answer, her screams filled the room again.

  “I love you, Jax.”

  Where the heck had that come from?

  Climbing closer to her climax, she gripped onto his hard shoulders pulling him as close as their bodies could meet. She was still in love with him. She always had been, even despite everything he had put her through, she knew that. But being so close to him now, she was reminded just how much of an impact he had on her. More than just physical, even more than emotional, eternal. Edging closer to her release, she relished being on the threshold of pleasure. Almost twelve months without this man, and she was beyond ready.

  Wrapping her legs around him, she took advantage of every hot inch of him pushing inside of her.

  “Come with me, baby,” he insisted, picking up the pace, continuing to lead their bodies in unison; the urgency in his voice driving her crazy.

  “Jax! Don’t sto-“

  -“Woof.”

  -“Woof.”

  -“Woof.”

  Opening her eyes widely, she sat up gasping for air. Darting her eyes to every corner of the bedroom, she clenched her chest.

  What just happened?

  Running her hands over the covers frantically, she lifted them up, discovering that she was, in fact, still completely dressed. Looking down at Mr. Beans at the side of the bed, he snarled at her in, sending saliva around him, barking again. Not completely sure if she was more relieved or angry that he had brought her out of her stimulating hallucination, she groaned, falling back down on her pillow.

  It was just a dream.

  Just another erotic dream, marking the fourth one in a week.

  What is wrong with me?

  She knew the answer to that. It was her husband watching her, studying her and walking around the house half naked.

  Every.

  Single.

  Day.

  The ache continuing between her legs, she swore the dream was real. It felt so physical. So tangible.

  “Good dream?”

  Jumping at Jax’s voice filling the bedroom, she sat up quickly, clenching the blanket to her chest for dear life. Travelling her eyes down his massive arms resting on the top of the doorframe, she let them drop a fraction to his bare relentl
essly hard stomach. The same stomach that she had just envisioned was on top of her, crushing her pelvis. Would it be completely uncalled for if she pounced on him solely to eliminate the sexual tension that she clearly couldn’t shake?

  Yes. That would be bad. Very, very bad.

  Biting her tongue to keep from completely drooling over the spectacle of the man in front of her, she painfully grazed her eyes from his rigid stomach to the black mesh shorts hanging low on his hips. Ordering her eyes up, she stole a quick glance at the glimmer of sweat across his smooth neck from his morning run. Forcing to concentrate on his face, which was just as delicious as the rest of him, she watched a grin stretch across his face as if he knew exactly what kind of dream she had just had.

  Tearing her eyes from him, she looked back down at Mr. Beans. How did he know? Did she talk in her sleep? Oh gosh, did she moan out loud? No. She didn’t want to think of the humiliation of that one either.

  “Come on boy!” Jax called for Mr. Beans and she watched the overweight pup waddle over towards him. “Better get moving, Star,” he said treating her to another sly smile, causing her chest to tighten. “We have a six hour ride ahead of us.”

  Watching him a moment, his eyes were intense but sincere, no longer provoking or filled with humor like they had been when he first came home. The past week when he looked at her, she only saw remorse, yet determination. She had spent most days wondering if he had regretted leaving her and the girls; and although he never said a word, she could tell something was ripping him apart on the inside. He was the strongest person she knew and although he wasn’t without his own scars, it still hurt her seeing him in misery.

  Without another word, he followed Mr. Beans down the hallway.

  Star.

  Along with invading her dreams, he really was too kind to add insult to injury by using her nickname. Refusing to acknowledge the pinch in her chest at the sound of that name rolling off his lips again, she fell backwards, grabbing the pillow next to her in the mass of chaotic sheets, covering her face. She wasn’t sure if she was more embarrassed or irritated by her dreams, but one thing was certain, if she had any hope of surviving the weekend, then the hot dreams needed to stop.

  Immediately.

  Settling herself down with a cool shower, Alivia packed up the last minute necessities and made her way downstairs, following the delicious smell of flour and melted butter.

  “Mornin’ Mama!” Hailey called from the table, half of her pancake hanging out of her mouth.

  “Good mornin’ pumpkin. Don’t talk with your mouth full,” she corrected walking around the kitchen table, placing a kiss on both girls’ heads, thankful for the opportunity to slip into a chair with her back towards Jax as he flipped pancakes by the stove. And ignoring how sexy he looked doing it. No need to embarrass herself any further while her body still tingled from her shameful dream.

  “Mama, are you and Daddy going on a fun vacation without us?” Hannah asked, wiping a stream of orange juice from her chin with her bare arm.

  Smiling, she smoothed Hannah’s blonde curls off her face.

  “No, pumpkin’, we’re not going away on a fun vacation without you. We just need to go away for a few days and spend some time with Aunt Chelsea and Uncle Trevor,” she explained, trying her best to downplay the fabulous weekend that lay ahead. Hailey’s fork fell onto her plate, the loud bang grabbing everyone’s attention.

  “But they aren’t getting married, right?” she asked, her little forehead wrinkling.

  “No, baby,” she chuckled. Hailey took her role as one of the two flower girls very seriously, already catching her youngest sweetie practicing her walk down the aisle in the middle of their hallway with an Easter basket and ripped up construction paper. “You will be there when they do,” she smiled, reassuring her bright eyed beauty, as Jax laughed quietly behind her.

  “I’m going to miss you girls so much,” she leaned across the table, taking each of their tiny chipped nail polished hands inside her own, rubbing her thumbs over their small knuckles. “Do you know that?”

  “We’ll miss you too, but Nona said that we can stay up until nine o’ clock tonight and tomorrow night and watch Frozen and make ice cream sundaes!” Hannah squealed doing a small dance in her seat.

  “Yeah, it’s gonna be a blast!” Hailey agreed, her bedhead curls bouncing everywhere.

  “Yeah, so if you feel the need to have a longer sleepover with Aunt Chelsea and Uncle Trevor, we’ll be fine,” Hannah said simply, inspecting another pancake before shoving it inside her mouth. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about us.”

  Alivia couldn’t keep from laughing out loud as Jax chuckled behind her taking out another plate from the cabinet.

  “Okay, pumpkin’, I won’t worry then,” she laughed, kissing Hannah’s hand, leaving her to wonder if she was raising preschoolers or teenagers.

  Getting up to make herself breakfast, a large arm came from behind her, stopping her from moving. Looking down at the plate in front of her, she stared at the fluffy cakes, inhaling the sweet smell.

  Blueberry. Her favorite.

  “Thank you,” she stuttered, turning towards Jax, his modest smile taking her by surprise. The smile that erased every hard feature on his face, his easy eyes almost vulnerable. She hadn’t seen that smile in a very long time. “You didn’t have to make me anything.”

  The longer she watched him, the more difficult it was figuring out who smelled better; the pancakes or him. He smelled of sweetness from cooking and bold sweat from his workout. He stood too close, his chest inches from her face, leaving her no choice but to wonder what would happen if she just let her lips rest against the bare stomach that she had just been dreaming about less than an hour ago.

  “Enjoy.”

  She didn’t know why she was so surprised that he had made her breakfast. He had been doing it a lot lately. Leaving her dinner on nights she worked late when he had cooked for the girls, insisting that she join them when they watched a movie and helping pick up the slack of driving the girls to and from school and dance class all week. And walking around the house shirtless…everyday! Convincing her that if she had to watch him come into the kitchen sweating after his morning run half naked, as he panted and sipped Gatorade in front of the refrigerator one more time, she was going to crumble.

  Busy finalizing all the plans for the weekend, along with helping Ross and Whitney prepare for a large anniversary party, hadn’t left her much time to wonder why he was being so attentive and involved. Sitting in the kitchen eating a breakfast that he cooked for her with the girls laughing, they looked like the picture perfect family, and she couldn’t help but wonder what it all meant? He pushed her out of his life for almost a year, so why was he back? Watching her? Acting like a husband again and occupying her dreams?

  After arguably the world’s best pancake breakfast ever, she ran the girls upstairs to get them ready for school. After fifteen minutes and only one meltdown from Hannah over her outfit, she rounded up the troops with Mr. Beans chasing their feet. The girls grabbed their school bags as Jax leaned against the counter with their lunchboxes, handing one to each girl.

  He made them lunch too?

  “Peanut butter and jelly, cut diagonal for you,” he said handing Hannah her Hello Kitty box.

  “And turkey and cheese, cut in half, no crust, for you,” he smiled at Hailey, handing her the Little Mermaid lunchbox.

  Smiling up at him as if he hung the moon, the girls’ blue eyes sparkled in hero worship, which annoyed her. She had made the exact same lunches every day for the entire school year and was never treated to such gratitude.

  “Thank you,” she said a bit bothered. “Again.”

  Maybe it was his eyes, so green and content; or maybe it was the way his sexy grin was acknowledging her slight aggravation, but whatever it was, it was making it difficult to stay annoyed at him, which was bad, very bad.

  “Alright, give Daddy a kiss,” she said, busying herself as she sn
atched her keys off the counter, throwing her purse over her shoulder. She had to stop taking notice of his sexy grins and smirks, his watchful stares and all the helping out he was doing. As wonderful of a father as he was and as great of a husband he once was, he could be just as cold and heartless and knowing firsthand what that felt like, she refused to ever be on the receiving end of that pain again.

  Laying on their legendary guilt, the girls said their goodbyes to Jax for the entire weekend, and she wanted to laugh. Promising them that he would take them to the stadium with him when he got back home from the weekend away, he played right into their infamous pouty faces.

  “I’ll be back,” she informed, refusing to look at him, walking out the door with the girls. She needed fresh air to pull herself together from his intense stares and shirtless chest, emerald eyes, and all that bare skin. Even if was for only twenty minutes.

  * * *

  “Let’s do this Captain!” Trevor yelled, walking through the garage door off the kitchen, Chelsea following behind him.

  “You know, for someone who didn’t even want a bachelor party, you sure are excited.”

  “Correction,” he said, snaking his arms around her waist, bringing her closer towards him. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay with having my Neanderthal friends hanging around all weekend.”

  Giggling, she rested her head on his chest, “So it will be like every other party that we have?”

  “Hey.” Trevor placed his fingers gently beneath her chin, forcing her to look at him.

  “I want you to enjoy yourself. I mean it Chels, between Asher teething, and my mother blowing up your phone every hour with wedding stuff, I really want you to relax this weekend, baby,” he urged, brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. “You deserve it.”