Joshoku

by Hildred Billings

  Just as Reina stepped down to speak to them, however, a folded up note landed on the floor in front of her. Yoko tore out of the classroom with her backpack still half-zipped, and Hitomi spared Reina a cold, chiding glance before following her friend out of the room.

  Reina bent down and picked up the piece of paper. She unfolded it and frowned.

  Dyke.

  The paper crumpled in her hands. Some things never fucking changed.

  Late October was never a big shopping season, but even Aiko was surprised at how empty the department store was. Where is everybody? Usually the accessories department was stuffed with aunties caressing scarves and sniffing out the perfume counter. Is there a bigger sale elsewhere? Aiko didn’t like it when large, imposing stores had no one around save for a single young clerk who looked bored out of her mind.

  She was sent there by her mother to pick up some new handkerchiefs for Auntie Kanoko. The ones she used to have were moldy by now, unearthed from storage bins Kanoko had forgotten about for years. Since Aiko ended up with most of her classes in the morning that semester, she spent many afternoons at her great aunt’s house up in Kita Ward, cleaning out closets, the spare bedroom, and drawers left open around the house. In such few short months poor Kanoko’s health had deteriorated to the point she needed someone to provide at least one meal a day for her. Junko blocked off the staircase and fashioned a bedroom in the living area. “Here’s 2,000 yen to buy her some new handkerchiefs at the department store over yonder,” was the last thing Junko said as she pushed her daughter out of the house.

  Now Aiko stood in front of a rack of tacky handkerchiefs, wondering if her aunt liked paisleys or stripes more. Would she even care? Aiko plucked a green silk cloth off a hanger and checked the price. At 500 yen a pop...

  A sickening sound ripped through the department store. Aiko pivoted on her heels, fear making her spine tingle. The sound came again. Her brain fluctuated between compassion and annoyance as she recognized the wails of a baby.

  Strange thing, though. As the despondent cries filtered through the racks and stacks, Aiko didn’t see a single person as tall as her anywhere. The clerk who had been there only minutes before was gone now. Not a stroller or carriage lurked in the aisles. Only the bone-shattering howls of a child.

  Aiko put down the handkerchief and went to investigate, peering around every corner as she followed the distressed sounds. She knew she was getting close when the wails pierced her ears. Someone take care of this child!

  The child she found standing beside a display, tears running down its chubby face as it waddled back and forth in place.

  “Doushita?” Aiko knelt beside the child – a girl, from the looks of it – and employed her natural mothering instincts. Not that she got much use from them outside of young Eri and the babies her other siblings had. This child in particular only minimized its crying when Aiko came near. Once it realized there was no relation, however, the girl shrieked again. So close and Aiko thought her eardrums would burst. “Where is your mama?”

  “Mama...” The girl clung to the edge of the display, her sticky fingers leaving trails of snot by socks and pantyhose. “Mama doko?”

  “Are you lost? Have you lost your mother?” Aiko smoothed out a wrinkle in the toddler’s plaid jumper.

  “Mama?” Hiccups replaced wailing.

  Aiko didn’t know what to do, outside of waving down a clerk. This girl wasn’t someone she knew, so it would be inappropriate to pick her up unless she was in danger. But she couldn’t leave the child here either.

  “Ah! Is this your child?” Two clerks appeared from around the corner, each of them in their pristine uniforms and looking relieved to see an adult with the child. “We heard the crying.”

  Aiko stood up. “No. I don’t know this child. Like you I heard the crying. She seems to be lost. Is there something you can do?”

  One of the clerks knelt and asked the girl the same question. The toddler shook her head and cried for her mother again.

  “She doesn’t seem to say anything else...”

  “We can handle this.” The clerk stood up again, girl in her arms. A tear-stained face gaped at Aiko. “Thank you for taking care of her.” Both clerks wandered away, little girl looking over their shoulders and in Aiko’s direction.

  Unnerved like that, it was near impossible for Aiko to complete her shopping in a timely manner. So she grabbed the first four handkerchiefs she found and took them to the nearest register half a department away. I hope that girl is all right. She stopped off in the restroom before heading back to her aunt’s house.

  On her way out the front entrance she caught a glimpse of a girl in a plaid jumper clinging to the leg of an older woman. This woman, with her grim countenance and stoic carriage, stared at the wall on which nothing hanged.

  “Mama...” the girl said softly, sucking up her tears. “Mama kowai yo...”

  The woman shook her daughter off. “See what happens when little girls misbehave, Haruka? They lose their mothers.”

  Aiko picked up speed and hurried out of the department store before she could hear another torturous sound from such a small child.

  The cold of late November sent Reina to study inside an Australian pub after work. She thought that being surrounded by people speaking English would keep her from distraction. Instead she was distracted by a group of young co-eds being loud and drinking too much for their own good right behind her.

  Why did I think that coming to a pub was a good idea for studying? Ever since Hitomi and Yoko made their opinion of her clear, Reina was never invited back to another study group. It was up to her to keep her kanji straight for each week’s quiz. Just imagine Ai-chan naked... The method wasn’t working much anymore. Reina got a C on her last quiz and a stern warning from her instructor that she needed to study harder.

  Sheets of practice paper fanned out on the table before her. A bottle of imported beer was her companion, I’m fucked. It’s what she thought every time she stared down the kanji before her.

  Her current enemy was a giant mess of a Chinese character. “You’re in your second term now,” her instructor had said. “It’s time for you to learn the real kanji.” That meant Chinese characters with enough strokes to get Reina off beneath the sheets. Like the one before her now, that looked like five words meshed together into one.

  “What the fuck is it?” she muttered, as one male co-ed slammed into her table with uproarious laughter. “I know I know this one…” She tried to picture Aiko naked, mouthing the reading to her. The definition. Anything. All she saw was one young man going off to throw up in the bathroom. Reina had a headache from the loud voices in the pub.

  “Getsu!”

  Reina looked up. “Excuse me?” Someone hovered around her.

  A girl leaned on the table, her breath stinking with alcohol. Short black hair like Reina’s rolled on the table as the girl laughed, lean arms reaching for the sheets of paper she landed on. “Getsu! It says getsu!”

  Normally I find drunken women funny, but… That was in gay bars, not the centers of heteronormativity that were most pubs. This woman was cute, with her short-shorts and tank top in the middle of autumn, but Reina was trying to study, damnit. “I think you might be right,” was all she said. That reading sounded familiar, anyway.

  “Of course I’m right. I have one of the largest vocabularies in Hokkaido.” The woman pulled out a chair adjacent to Reina’s and slumped into it. “Fucking… kanji… easy!” Her mouth twisted into a smile that said she was drunker than Reina had been lately. She also spoke much more loudly than was necessary. “You study it?” A flaccid arm landed on the table.

  Reina averted her eyes and counted down to when she could politely leave. “I guess.”

  “Oh my God, I love studying this shit.” The woman snatched up one of Reina’s study sheets and snorted in glee. “I learned these like five years ago.”

  “Good for you.” That smell of alcohol was g
etting stronger the closer this woman got to Reina’s face. “Is there a reason why you’re bothering me?” Reina took a drink of her beer and wished it were emptier. Great excuse to get the hell out of there. Call Ai-chan and make plans for the weekend. Between both of their classes, Reina’s work, and Aiko helping out with her great aunt, their love life had been a bit wanting. Reina wanted to take her girlfriend to a love hotel and make the bed squeak.

  But the woman beside her wasn’t Aiko. It was some co-ed, here with her group of other co-eds celebrating something related to their school. Since they spoke English to one another, Reina gauged it had something to do with that. At least she’s pretty, I guess. Reina didn’t usually go for women with short hair and tomboy looks, but she did like a bright smile and penchant for adventure. And this girl looked like she was all about adventure.

  “I’m bothering you because you’re cute.” The girl was in Reina’s face, breathing her beer breath across skin and up nostrils. Lovely. “Cute lady sitting alone in a bar is a crime.”

  What is with her? Was she actually flirting with Reina? Calling her a lady? That was a riot. If this woman wasn’t so obviously drunk Reina would correct her on the “lady” front. I ain’t no lady. “That’s my line,” she mumbled, debating whether or not to make eye contact.

  The other girl did that for her. An elbow popped out and landed right in front Reina, propping up the head of dark hair and that flirty smile. “You like to take control, huh?”

  Reina leaned back in her seat. “Maybe.”

  “Been a while since I had a woman take control over me.”

  The pencil in Reina’s hand snapped in two.

  “Hey you!” A drunken man grabbed the other woman by the ass and pulled her off the table. Laughter exploded between them, and Reina snapped out of the fantasies she entertained about her and this flirty person. Boner killer. The man was tall, hairy, and cornered the girl into a sloppy kiss that ended with her dropping a bottle of beer and wrapping her leg around his waist.

  Reina packed up her things and left her unfinished beer on the table. As annoyed as the situation made her, that smile was more effective in making her remember getsu than Aiko stripping in Reina’s head for the umpteenth time.

  “Happy anniversary!”

  Aiko scuttled into Reina’s room, presenting the small chocolate cake she bought at a bakery on her way there. Her girlfriend was sitting on top of her futon next to the space heater, which clanged and clinged to ward off the December chill.

  “Eh? What’s that?” Reina got up long enough to sniff the cake. “Smells good!”

  Aiko sat on the end of the futon, pulling the low table Reina recently got for her room over so she could set it. “That’s not all I got,” she said, grinning. “Look in my book bag.” Aiko pointed to the brown bag she deposited by her girlfriend’s desk.

  Reina stopped sniffing the cake and gave it back to Aiko before picking up the bag and rooting through it. “Aha,” she said. Bags of cookies and brownies came out. Goodies Aiko spent all week baking in her mother’s kitchen. Reina loves my cooking. Aiko cut two pieces of the cake and served them on tiny paper plates. Knowing her food was so loved filled her with joy.

  She didn’t know whether to expect a present from Reina or not. Last year, on their first anniversary, she certainly had. But after that first year she learned that Reina was not the gift-giving kind. Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries... Reina said she didn’t care about those days, but she did put in a little effort. Not enough for romantic Aiko at times, but just enough that she continued to put up with the lack of affection on certain days. So I’ll do it today. She smiled when Reina sat beside her and started eating cake.

  “Can you believe it’s been two years?” Aiko held a piece of cake to Reina’s lips and delighted in feeding her. Such simple acts of romance; such simple times to share. “This is my longest relationship ever.” Actually, they had passed that mark six months ago. I wonder what happened to that boy. The young man she dated for a year and a half in high school had never asked much of her. Going to his soccer games, making him some cookies... he rarely asked to even kiss her, which Aiko didn’t think much of at the time. All my friends were having sex, and then there I was oblivious to my boyfriend not wanting any. Reina told her he was probably gay. Or asexual. Or both.

  Reina swallowed water before responding. “This is my longest relationship too.”

  “Maybe that’s a good sign.”

  “Maybe.”

  Aiko took a bite of cake for herself. Chocolate melted on her tongue and slid down her throat in delectable bits. “It’ll be Christmas next week.” She blushed, and not from the heat of the space heater pounding behind her. “Remember what happened on our first Christmas?”

  Reina snorted. “People complain about a lot of things regarding me, but a faulty memory isn’t one of them. Of course I remember.”

  Aiko noticed she didn’t say what. The first time we had sex. Two years ago Aiko parted with her virginity in a dingy love hotel room. She often conveniently forgot that latter part. All I remember is Reina being so tender. Poor Aiko, who was more nervous and yet so determined to please and be pleased. Never had she thought her first would be another woman, let alone someone like Reina. “I’ve enjoyed these two years together very much.”

  The plate beside Aiko was licked clean. “Maa, they haven’t been so bad I guess.” Reina flashed a stupid smirk and leaned in toward Aiko’s ear. “You’ve really bloomed like a red flower over these months, eh?”

  When Reina dropped her voice that low and breathed it into a woman’s body, Aiko had to stop everything – in this case licking chocolate off her finger – to fend off her arousal. It’s that kind of thing that got me into bed with her in the first place. The horror! “I guess I’ve done some naughty things... that I never thought I would do...”

  Reina took her girlfriend’s hand and licked the last of the chocolate. Aiko’s finger disappeared between Reina’s lips and was scoured clean by her wily, talented tongue. It wrapped around the tip of her finger, playing with her knuckle and sliding up and down her finger. Aiko shuddered and turned into pliable mush. I wonder if she’ll do that to my... tonight... Two years of sex with Reina and Aiko still couldn’t think of it without feeling like a virgin again.

  The finger fell out of Reina’s mouth as she rubbed her nose against Aiko’s neck. “I’ve awakened your senses, haven’t I? Every part of you has been mine for some time or another.” Something dug into the flesh of Aiko’s ass. She jumped right into Reina’s arms.

  “Y... yes. That is so.” Some of those parts enjoyed it more than others. It didn’t take long for them both to agree that one hole down there was better than the other. That was the most painful thing I ever did with her. Not because Reina wasn’t careful or attentive to her girlfriend, but because it turned out Aiko didn’t like it no matter how they went about it. Aiko noticed that Reina never asked for reciprocation.

  “We’ve also been with a few others, eh? How many has it been since we started dating? Five? Six?”

  “Six.” Aiko sounded like a slut when she said it. I’ve been with seven women since meeting Reina. Including her girlfriend. The first time they brought another woman into their fold was on Valentine’s Day, of all days. Aiko didn’t think she would like it. Indeed, she often thought that she preferred being with just Reina. But one of the stipulations of them being together was that there would be other women. Curious Aiko got used to it the more she was exposed to her girlfriend going at another girl. It makes me jealous a lot. It also made her feel really good and forget the jealousy. Reina always made sure of that.

  Still, seven women in two years seemed like a lot. “I’ve been thinking lately,” Reina said, kissing Aiko’s shoulder. “It’s been a while since we had fun with someone else. Four months?”

  “I guess. We’ve been busy.” The last time Aiko had her head between another woman’s legs was during summer vacation.

&
nbsp; “Maybe it’s time we do it again soon, huh?” The hair draped across Aiko’s chest tumbled in Reina’s hand. “I like watching you do it with other women.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Maybe I’ll get you two girls for your Christmas present.”

  “Iya da.” Aiko squirmed in her girlfriend’s hold. “That’s a day just for us.”

  “All right, all right. Forget I mentioned it.” Reina finished eating her cake, tongue twirling erotically around the fork. Aiko squeezed her legs together and focused on her plate. “But you know, I’ve been itching for some new blood recently. I’m not used to spells like this where I go without seducing someone.”

  Such words were vitriol in Aiko’s ears. She really likes getting women in bed, I guess... No guessing about it. Reina wasn’t exactly quiet about her desires for other women. Sometimes they would be out on a date and Aiko’s girlfriend would point at a young woman and say, “I’d like to wrap my tongue with hers, if you know what I mean.” As if Aiko didn’t know! In the beginning months of their relationship it made her think Reina was not serious about her. Shouldn’t I be enough? Couples had been monogamous for thousands of years. But they weren’t an ordinary couple. They were two women attempting to forge a life together, full of giving and taking. In return for being the person closest to Reina, Aiko had to accept a life with other women in bed with them. We’re not even a normal lesbian couple. Nothing was normal with Reina. It was one of the key things attracting straight-laced Aiko to such a woman.

  “You want us to have a threesome, huh...”

  “Would that be so bad? I thought you liked them.”

  “They’re fine.” Aiko often enjoyed herself, once she loosened up. But she was still nervous around other women when it came to her body and what she could do in bed. Not to mention how she felt when she saw Reina give another woman attention... “I prefer when it’s you and me though.” Aiko took her girlfriend’s arm into her hands and giggled. “I like it when you give me your undivided attention. It makes me feel special.”