Ukulele Murder: A Nani Johnson Aloha Lagoon Mystery (Aloha Lagoon Mysteries Book 1)

by Leslie Langtry

  "I should go," Nick says finally.

  I don't want him to go. But my life is absurdly complicated now. Once the case is solved, maybe we should do a weekend trip to Maui. Get to know each other. Or, if things don't work out, maybe the prison will have conjugal visits.

  As I put away the dishes, I notice something on the floor. It's an envelope. Oh right. Mom said this came for me the other day. It must've fallen on the floor. I'd totally forgotten about it. The envelope is completely blank except for my name typed across the front.

  The back of the envelope is sealed with tape. That's odd. Maybe the glue didn't work or something.

  "I'm home!" Mom shouts from the front door.

  "In here," I call out, my eyes still fixed on the envelope.

  "Oh, you haven't opened that yet?" Mom asks as she dumps her purse on the counter.

  "Where did this come from?"

  Mom stares into space. "I don't know. It just showed up somehow. I don't even remember picking it up."

  I stare at her. "You don't think that's a little strange?"

  "I'm sure it was just in the mailbox or something." Mom rolls her eyes. "By the way, who was just here?"

  "Nick and Binny came over for dinner. But they left a while ago."

  My mother shakes her head. "No, the car I saw pulling out of the driveway before I turned in."

  I shrug. "Maybe it was just someone turning around to go the other way?" I didn't hear a car pull in, but then, I'm pretty distracted.

  "That must be it." Mom takes out her earrings and plunks them on the counter. "I just thought it was weird. But maybe not—after all, there are tons of white sedans on the island."

  It's as if I've been frozen instantly. I can't move or speak. A white sedan? Could it be coincidence? It couldn't be. In the year I've lived here, I never had so many encounters with one type of car.

  "I'm heading to bed. Night, kiddo." Mom doesn't notice that I've turned into a statue. She just kisses me on the cheek and leaves the kitchen.

  Maybe Mom's right. There are so many white cars on the island. It's just coincidence. Whoever it was just used our driveway to turn around. That has to be it, or I won't sleep a wink tonight. For a moment, I consider calling Nick or Binny, but they'd be worried and want to come over. I need to get some sleep. That wouldn't happen with Nick here. My chemistry would be all off, and I'd just be keyed up.

  Instead, I might as well open this envelope. Sliding a fingernail under the tape, I pry it open and extract a single sheet of paper. It has just one sentence on it: Back off, or you'll be next.

  Well, that can't be good…

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Binny looks at me skeptically. "Well, it could be a prank…” We're in her car, driving to the funeral of someone I never liked, possibly even hated.

  I shake my head. "Who would prank me? Mom? Vera? You? Nick? I barely know anyone else."

  "Do you think Nick left it?" Binny asks. "I've already told you that I think it's weird how he shows up out of the blue and bam, you've got a relationship already."

  She has a point. But I don't want it to be true.

  "Do you really think Nick's involved somehow?" My mood darkens as I think of that kiss from last night.

  Binny shrugs as she pulls into the parking lot of the Presbyterian church. Leilani may be half Hawaiian, but she is also half Irish. It makes sense she'd have a more traditional funeral.

  I can't stop thinking about what Binny said. Nick's arrival at this bizarre point in my life could mean something sinister. Or it could be a coincidence.

  "All I'm saying," Binny whispers as we sign the guest book, "is, be careful around him until we know a little more."

  "There is something else…" I tell Binny about the white sedan Mom saw coming out of our driveway last night.

  Binny's eyes bulge out of her head. Really? The note didn't worry her, but a random car does?

  "I think you and your mom should come stay with me for a couple of days."

  "Oh. Well, that's very generous of you, but I don't think there's any room." And I don't think Binny would like Mom decorating her house with random things found in Hawaii.

  "I have a guest room in my apartment." Binny frowns. "The killer is stalking you. Isn't that obvious?"

  I shake my head. "Stalking and listening, yes. But killing me won't help him. He needs me to take the fall for these murders."

  "I don't like it." Binny looks around before turning her attention on me. "I don't think you're safe there."

  "I'll be extra careful, I promise. Just don't tell Nick yet. I don't want him freaking out."

  "If he isn't involved, then he'd want to protect you too. You could stay at his house. I'll bet that place has a dozen guest rooms."

  I nod. "Mom would love that. But I'd feel weird asking him."

  Binny doesn't like this answer. "I'll keep it from him for now. But if one more 'coincidence' happens, I'll put you in the federal Witness Protection Program myself."

  "It's a deal." I nod, glad to end the conversation. "The funeral is about to start. We should go in."

  The church is almost completely empty. Elizabeth and Gina sit up front by a very large blaze-orange coffin. Both are crying. I don't see any family—but then I wouldn't know what they looked like. I'd never heard the woman so much as mention parents. I always thought she was raised by rabid hyenas.

  "Where should we sit?" Binny asks.

  "Not too far up," I plead softly.

  Gina and Elizabeth already think I had something to do with Leilani's murder, so there's no point in giving them a physical target. We sit in the middle pews. I look at my watch. The service should start in a few minutes. Where is everyone?

  I hear footsteps behind us and notice Todd Chay and Pauli Keo walk in. They see us and head over. To my surprise, Todd sits on Binny's right, and Pauli sits on my left. It's like they're flanking us so we can't get away. We nod to the men but say nothing because now the organ is playing. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Detective Ray walk in and sit down in the pew opposite us.

  So this is it? This is the sum of Leilani's life? Six people? That is so sad. I almost feel bad for her. Even if she did bring it all on herself.

  The minister steps up to the lectern and motions for us to stand and sing from the hymnal. We make our way through "How Great Thou Art," but I can't help but think this is the strangest funeral I've ever been to.

  "Friends, family, and loved ones," the minister says, "we are here to say good-bye to our beloved Leilani O'Flanagan."

  I'm guessing he never met the woman, or he wouldn't have said the word "beloved." Gina and Elizabeth burst into loud sobs. Are they acting—or did they really care about her?

  "So they must've found her body," Binny breathes in my ear so Todd and Pauli don't hear. She motions to the casket.

  "I guess so." I wonder how much of it was left when it washed ashore. Then I stop wondering, because that's nasty.

  We sit through the ceremony, singing three more hymns and enduring an extremely long reading from the book of Psalms, when I hear a snort of disgust behind me.

  I turn my head to see the lady in black, several pews away. Her arms are folded over her chest, which tells me she is not happy. Maybe she didn't like Leilani either. She's wearing the same clothing, hat, and heavy veil. I can't even begin to make out who she is.

  For a moment, I wonder if it's Alohalani's wife, if he had one—which is something I don't know. That would make some sense. If he was married, the wife probably knew Kua and Leilani. She would've met them at concerts or something. My guess is that Leilani wasn't any nicer to her than she was to Alohalani. She could have decided to come to these funerals out of professional courtesy. But why did she completely cover herself? Maybe she’s disfigured! Or maybe this is how she mourns.

  I decide I like that idea, and I turn back to the proceedings. The minister has just asked people to come up and share their memories of Leilani. I'm not surprised to see Elizabeth jump up and race to
the lectern.

  "She was a wonderful person and close friend," she sobs. "And her talent was beyond compare. No one on this island came close to her musical talent." She glares at me. "No one."

  I decide not to react. It's Leilani's funeral, and I don't need to defend myself against a dead woman. I notice Pauli tense up and wonder what he really thought of Leilani. I'm going to ask him once the funeral is over.

  Gina gets up next. She tells this weird story about how Leilani once loaned her a sweater, then told her she could keep it. Gina tells us she's wearing it right now, to honor her friend. Then she says almost exactly the same thing that Elizabeth does—about how kind and thoughtful their late roommate was.

  I feel like I'm being punked. How is it possible that these two loved someone as cruel and contemptuous as Leilani? I guess it takes all types. Or like Nick said the night before, they killed her and are acting like this to throw off the police.

  I can't tell if it is an acting job, but then I never met these two women until after Leilani was murdered. And if they loved her so much, why did she move out? And if she was out of their lives, why kill her? Maybe it was over that sweater Gina is wearing.

  Gina leaves the podium, and the minister asks for someone else to come up. Besides the detective and the creepy woman in black, it's up to the four of us. Binny didn't know her, but Todd, Pauli, and I did.

  The silence is getting uncomfortable. Neither Todd nor Pauli makes a move. The minister doesn't seem to realize that now would be a good time to end the funeral. He just stands there, waiting. Elizabeth and Gina finally turn around from the front pew. Their eyes settle on me, and I can feel their hostility drilling into my skull. If hatred could kill, I'd have died the moment I met Kua and Leilani.

  Without thinking, I rise to my feet and walk up to the front of the church. Why am I doing this? And worse—what am I going to say? The dead woman hated me. She never said a nice word to me. All she did was put me down.

  But my stupid conscience is making me go up and say something. I stand there, looking out at the few people who came to Leilani's funeral, and feel a wave of sympathy for the woman. Everyone in the church is staring at me. The lady in black leans forward as if I'm about to impart some warm, fuzzy story about Leilani.

  "Leilani was, as her roommate Elizabeth said, a gifted musician," I say at long last.

  Then it occurs to me that I need to say more.

  "I've had the good fortune," I lie with as much conviction as I can muster, "to hear her play on many occasions around the island. And each time, I was impressed by her talent and professionalism."

  Okay, no need to lay it on that thick. But I can't stop myself. I'm overwhelmed by pity. No one should have such a poor turnout at her funeral. And after the testimonies of Elizabeth and Gina, I realize there must have been something good about her. I have no idea what—maybe she didn't kick puppies more than once, each time.

  "I wish I'd gotten to know her better. I'm sure we all wish that now."

  What am I saying? I feel like a ventriloquist's dummy. Words I haven't been thinking are coming out of my mouth. Before I go too far, I should wrap it up.

  "Aloha, Leilani. Aloha," I finish and step down to walk back to my pew.

  Detective Ray has a blank expression—which either means he's good at poker or has the personality of a cow. The lady in black stands and exits the church.

  The minister decides he's gotten all he's going to get and steps forward to announce that there will be a short ceremony graveside. He steps down and walks over to the roommates to comfort them. This would be an excellent time to leave.

  "Wow," Binny says as we stand to leave. "Just…wow."

  I nod. "I know. I think I've been possessed by demons."

  "I wondered about that." Binny smiles as we follow Todd out of the pew.

  Pauli has gone the other way and is no longer behind me. The detective doesn't move, making me wonder if he's been murdered as well. We head out to the cemetery for probably the shortest graveside service ever recorded in the history of mankind. It basically consists of the minister saying a prayer before the casket is lowered into the ground. It took longer to drive there.

  Only Elizabeth, Gina, Pauli, Todd, Binny, and I made the trip. The detective and the lady in black are absent. My heart aches a little for Leilani. No matter how mean you are, people should show up to your funeral, to say the least. If you think I'm feeling a little guilty—you're right. Binny and I just came to see if the murderer would make an appearance. If I wasn't a suspect, I probably wouldn't even be here.

  I don't like myself very much for thinking that.

  The ceremony ends with the minister walking away. He just up and leaves. We all look at each other, startled by this. After a second or two, the tiny crowd breaks up and heads to the road. By the time we get in my car, I'm completely spent. And it's only ten o'clock in the morning.

  "I need a drink," Binny says.

  "It's a little early," I say. I just want to go home, take some of Mom's Xanax, and follow it up with a long nap.

  Then I see what she sees. Todd and Pauli are heading to a bar down the block.

  "But it's always a good time for a drink," I agree. Intel first, drugs and nap later.

  This time, we walk in and sit with the guys. They acknowledge our appearance with nods.

  "That was an interesting ceremony," Pauli finally says.

  "Why didn't you two get up and speak?" I ask.

  Todd frowns. "I'm not much for publicly stating my feelings."

  Does that mean he had feelings for Leilani?

  "Me neither," Pauli says. "You did a nice job for all of us."

  The waitress stops by. Binny and I order mimosas, while the guys order a pitcher of beer to split.

  "Do you guys know those other two women?" Binny asks. Her smile puts the men at ease. She'd be a great detective, I think. It's probably a little less dangerous than teaching.

  Pauli shakes his head. "Never heard of them before today."

  Todd shifts uneasily in his chair. "Elizabeth and Gina are just looking for attention. They didn't really know Leilani."

  "But you did?" I ask.

  He looks angry but answers. "Better than them. Leilani only lived with them a couple of months."

  "Oh?" Binny asks, eyes wide and innocent. "I thought they were practically family—the way they carried on!"

  I nod. "Seemed like that to me too."

  "I'm telling you," Todd snarls. "They didn't know her! They were always on her back over this or that. Those two never cut her a break. They just used her for her share of the rent."

  Whoa. Todd is seriously defending a woman I thought was more honey badger than human.

  "That's too bad," I sympathize.

  Todd looks at me. I'm hoping that from what I said at the funeral and how I'm acting now that he'll let his guard down.

  "Elizabeth and Gina are just attention whores. They like that Leilani’s death makes them important, but they had no idea what she was really like. I probably knew her better than most," Todd admits.

  "But you said, the other day at the beach, that you weren't close," Binny says.

  He shakes his head. "My feelings are too personal to share with complete strangers. I know that Leilani rubbed some people raw. My friend Kua hated her. But she had her good side too."

  Pauli studies his friend. I wonder if they really are friends or just rode down together. It seems as though Pauli didn't know how close Todd and Leilani were.

  "I'm sorry for your loss," I say. If they were a couple, I'll know by his reaction.

  "Mahalo," Todd says.

  So it's true. Leilani and Todd were together. I wonder why he doesn't seem to be more upset. I'd think he'd be in tears or close to it. But maybe, like he said, he doesn't express his feelings publicly. Still, it's a little weird that he isn't acting more crushed by her death.

  "Has anyone heard if they caught whoever murdered her?" Binny asks. Nice. She brings the conversation back
to the mystery at hand. She should definitely consider a career in law enforcement. She'd be better than Detective Ray.

  Pauli shrugs. "I heard that they thought it was you." He looks at me and gives me a little wink.

  "I didn't kill her. I've never killed anything bigger than a mosquito."

  Binny nods. "Nani wasn't there. I heard that the killer disguised himself to look like her though."

  Todd stares at his glass of beer. He's avoiding eye contact. Does he think I killed Leilani? No, he wouldn't be sitting with me if he did. Unless he's going to stab me with my own cocktail umbrella.

  "I don't think they know who killed her or the other two," I say.

  "I don't see how they aren't related," Pauli says. "All three were ukulele musicians. Another reason to suspect you."

  Really? That's how he's going to play it? Repeat that I'm a suspect over and over until it becomes true?

  I sigh. "Someone is going to a lot of work to frame me. They even broke into my house and took one of my ukuleles. And it's the one they think killed Kua."

  Todd looks up at this, eyes alert. "They think he was killed by a ukulele?"

  "Well," Binny says, "they haven't found the weapon yet, but they think that's what it was. It hasn't been confirmed as far as I know."

  Pauli leans forward. "You two sure know a lot about these murders."

  Binny responds smoothly, "How can we not? You guys live in Princeville. But in Aloha Lagoon, it's all anyone talks about. Small towns are like that."

  Are they buying it? I adopt my most innocent look. I'm hoping I look sympathetic, but suspect I look more like a constipated kitten.

  "Huh." Pauli drains his beer. "That detective sure moves slowly. He called me a few days back saying he wants to meet—but I haven't talked to him yet."

  Todd grimaces. It can't be easy to hear that the police aren't making his girlfriend's murder a priority.

  "At his pace," he says, "it'll take years before this is resolved."