Worthy of the Harmony (Mountains & Men Book 2)

by Martin, R. C.

  “That’s bullshit and you know it, Tatiana. How many times must history repeat itself before you learn? Huh? He will leave you. They always leave you. There is no different.”

  Her words hit me like a slap across the face. My mother has tried and failed to teach me her version of reality in many areas of life. I know what her darkness looks like. From the time that I was six years old, I have done everything I could to escape it—to make my own way, to discover my own reality. But men…she’s always been right about men. She’s warned me over and over that they always leave and—and she’s always right.

  “I don’t want to talk about him,” I say stubbornly. I stand, pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table. The sting of her words has made me anxious and I resent her a little bit more for making me feel this way.

  “Just don’t let me hear you cry when he discards you. You don’t listen to me. You never listen to me. I feel no sympathy for your heart with all that hopeless romantic nonsense,” she bites.

  When my eyes begin to well up with tears, I try and convince myself that she’s not hurting my feelings. I try and remind myself that she’s a bitter woman who doesn’t have an ounce of love left in her. I try to hold onto the fact that she’s my mother by name only—that she hasn’t been my mom for a long time; she hasn’t been someone who I confide in and, therefore, her unsolicited advice means nothing.

  Nevertheless, her warning makes my chest sting. Then, when a knock sounds at the door, my excitement from before suddenly feels different—guarded.

  I hate her. I hate her for making me feel this way.

  “I have to go. I’ll talk to you in a couple weeks.”

  “Tati—”

  “I have to go, mother. Goodbye.”

  I told her I wouldn’t hang up on her, but that was obviously a lie. I can’t listen to another word she has to say. When Sage knocks again, I blink away my tears and paste on a smile as I open the door for him. The sight of him leaning casually against the doorjamb takes my breath away, and my heart rate spikes when he smirks at me.

  He is different, I assure myself. My mother is wrong. She’s wrong. She has to be wrong.

  “Hey,” he scowls at me, stepping closer as he reaches up to brush his fingers along the side of my cheek. I lean into his touch, surprisingly desperate for it. “What’s wrong, baby doll?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You don’t think I’m falling for that, right?” he asks, circling his arms around my waist. “Something’s wrong. I can see it in your eyes, Millicent. What is it?”

  I grip hold of his dark, plaid button up shirt, allowing the sound of my name to wash over me. Millicent. Millicent, not Tatiana. I bask in the truth that I am his, a declaration we made to each other just a day ago, and I shove aside my fear. He’s not leaving. He’s right here. I’m wrapped in his arms and he’s not leaving.

  “Baby? You’re kind of freaking me out, here.”

  I reach up and press a kiss against his lips, our contact making my whole body tingle with delight. “I’m fine. Really. Just got off the phone with my mother. It’s not my favorite thing, that’s all. I’m good.” I kiss him again, relaxing against his chest as he holds me closer.

  When I open my eyes to look at him, I find him studying me—his icy blue eyes dancing around my face. “Doll face, you look like you need to fucking cuddle. I would say let’s stay in and order take out, but you look way too fine for all that. We’re going out. I know the perfect place. You ready?”

  I nod, smiling up at him. “Just need to grab my purse.”

  “Alright,” he says, smacking my ass. I squeak in surprise and he winks at me. “Hurry, baby. I need to cheer my girl up.”

  OUR DRIVE INTO Old Town is a quiet one. Millie spends most of it looking out the window. I’m curious to know what she’s thinking, what’s got her upset and distracted, but I don’t pry. Knowing it has something to do with her mom, a topic I know she’s reluctant to discuss, I decide to let it lie for a bit. She’ll tell me what she wants to when she’s ready. For now, I just need to focus on putting a smile back on those sweetheart lips.

  As per usual, finding parking downtown on a Saturday night is a chore. I end up sliding into a spot about a block and a half away from our destination. Once we’re out of the car, I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her into my side, planting a kiss on her temple. She slips her arms around me, her contact putting me at ease a bit.

  “You ever play darts?” I ask.

  “No,” she answers quietly.

  I chuckle, amused by the fact that I’m not the least bit surprised. “Baby doll, what did you do for fun when you were an undergrad? Tell me you’ve at least been to Cooper’s Pub.”

  “I’ve been,” she mutters defensively. She pinches my side and I look down to see her playful glare. “And I went dancing. The Brew, The Wash—I even went to that Cowboy bar once. Line dancing isn’t my thing, though.”

  I laugh, admiring her as we continue our trek to the Pub. It’s in this moment that I realize just how freaking adorable she is. She might have me by five years, but I guarantee she spent more time with her books than she did going out growing up. Me—not so much. School was easy for me; and while music took up a lot of my focus, I never neglected to seek out a good time. The guys can attest to that.

  “Stick with me, baby. You’ve got a lot to learn.”

  “Is that so?” she asks. I can hear the smile in her voice before I see it on her face. I nod at her in response before pressing a kiss against her lips. We stop walking for just a second as I kiss her again, and then I smirk at her before I continue to lead her to our destination.

  Inside, Cooper’s is just as busy as I guessed it would be. The bar area is full of a bunch of twenty-somethings all out to indulge in a bit of booze and a bit of fun. Most of the pool tables and foosball tables are occupied, but I spot an empty table near one of the dart boards that isn’t in use. I lead her straight there and we sit just as our waitress walks by.

  “Oh, hey,” she says, back tracking. Her ponytail swishes from side to side when she comes to a stop, and she flashes me a sly smile. “I’m just on my way to the bar. Can I get you something, handsome?”

  I offer her a closed lip smile, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. I get it that she may be working an angle for a good tip, but her flirting isn’t necessary. “I’ll have a Blue Moon. Doll face?”

  I watch as her eyes drift from the waitress to me, as if she’s noticed the extra attention I'm being given and she wants to see how I’ll respond. A smirk tugs at my lips. I’m amused that she hasn’t figured it out yet—that as long as she’s in the room, and even when she’s not, she’s the only woman I'm thinking about.

  “I’ll have a gin and tonic,” she says a second later.

  We’re carded and then the waitress hurries off to get our order, promising to return with menus. I’d bet anything that she only asked for our IDs because she was annoyed that I wasn’t giving her the time of day, but I don’t care.

  “How are things going with Alex?” Millie asks sheepishly.

  “Good. Great, actually. She fits in like a champ. I mean, she's not afraid to dig in and work. I think Maddox is finally starting to warm up to her, now that he’s seen her level of commitment, and we’re all clicking.”

  “I’m glad it’s working out.”

  Our drinks arrive along with our menus, but it only takes me a second to decide what I want. They serve a wicked Italian Club sandwich and I get it almost every time, unless I’m here splitting a pizza with the guys. Millie takes a little longer to decide. She ends up ordering the house salad. I can’t help but cock my eyebrow in surprise, but she only shrugs before sipping at her drink.

  “So, are you going to show me your skills or what?” she asks, nodding to the dart board that’s still unmanned.

  “I didn’t say I was any good. Honestly, I never keep score or anything,” I tell her with a laugh, standing to collect three darts. “It is a good way to blow off some
steam, though.” I stand a few feet back and launch each dart one right after the other. Two of them land within the confines of the triple circle, and one hits the triple circle itself. I’m quick to pluck them off the board before I turn to her and ask, “Do you want to try?”

  “Um—”

  “Come on, gorgeous. I’ll help you.”

  I hold out my hand and she takes it, allowing me to help her off of her stool. I line her up in front of the board, showing her how to angle her body, and hand her a dart. Her first attempt doesn’t even make it across the short distance, and falls to the floor. The pathetic expression on her face when she looks at me in defeat makes me laugh. She sighs and rolls her eyes; but before she can head back to her seat, I circle my arm around her waist and hold her against me.

  “Hey, no quitting. You just have to put a little force behind your throw. We’re blowing off some steam, remember?” I hand her another dart. “Now, throw it like you mean it.”

  I kiss her bare shoulder as I pull away from her and she shivers, making my cock pulse. I ignore it, watching as she takes a deep breath and chucks her second dart. It sticks at the bottom of the board, in the double ring, and she gasps as it makes contact. When she smiles at me, her face alight with her surprise, it makes me want to kiss her.

  “That’s my girl,” I say proudly, smacking a quick kiss against her lips before handing her the last dart. “Let’s see you do it again.”

  She hits her mark once more, only this time a little higher than before. When I ask her if she wants to play another round, she nods without hesitation and I collect the darts. We play until our food arrives—her tossing, me fetching and rewarding her with kisses—and I can see it as whatever was bothering her before starts to melt away. She only picks at her salad, claiming she’s not all that hungry; but when I finish my sandwich and push my plate across the table, offering her my untouched fries, she can’t resist.

  After another round of drinks and a couple more games of darts, I decide I’m ready to get out of the busy Pub. The night is a cool one, but it’s not cold, and I get another idea—something else I like to do when I want to get my mind off of things. I reach for my wallet, pulling out enough cash to cover our bill and a tip, and then I stand, reaching for her hand.

  “Let’s go for a drive, doll face.”

  BEFORE WE PULL out of the parking spot, Sage puts the top down. When I ask him if we’ll get too cold, he hands me a zip-up hoodie from the back seat and makes me promise to tell him if I want him to put the top back on. Now, as he drives us away from the city, I could care less how cold I am. I like the wind in my face and the night air blowing through my hair. I like being wrapped in Sage’s scent, and I’m content to ride in his company.

  I don’t know where he’s taking me, and I don’t care. All that matters is that I’m with him. He makes me happy and right now, I just want to be wherever he is, doing whatever he thinks we should do. He told me earlier that he wanted to cheer me up, and he’s done more than that already.

  He drives for at least a half an hour, neither of us speaking a word. It’s a comfortable sort of silence, one we both seem to enjoy. The farther he drives, the darker the night gets. With the city lights behind us, the stars shine brighter, and I admire them—reminding myself that the world is so much bigger than me. It’s bigger than the environment in which I was raised. It’s just bigger. And in all of its grandeur, life can be different. My life can be different. I am not bound to live in the past. Just like the night sky that seems to stretch on forever and ever, I can live beyond the limits of what I’ve seen—of what I’ve known.

  I’m pulled from my thoughts when Sage veers off the main road onto a dirt path. We ride through a thicket of trees that leads to a large clearing. When he stops, I swear we’re in the middle of an empty field, nothing but sky above us.

  “Where are we?” I murmur, looking over at him. He’s lit only by the moon and the stars, but I can still make out the glint in his eye when he smiles at me.

  “We’re in a field.”

  “Yes,” I say with a small laugh. “I gathered that much. Are we trespassing?”

  “Not exactly.” I raise an eyebrow at him, signaling that I’m not satisfied with his answer, and he chuckles. “Come on, get out and push your seat up—we’ll climb in the back.”

  He acts without a moment’s hesitation, and unsure of what else to do, I follow suit. “Sage—”

  “Get that sexy, little ass back here,” he demands, reaching for my hips as I do as he says. I close the door behind me and settle in beside him, snuggling into his side when he wraps his arm around my shoulders. “This land belongs to Derrick. It’s kind of a long story, but we come out here sometimes. The view is insane. When we catch a sunrise?” He shakes his head, clearly looking for the right word and failing. “You’d just have to see it to understand.”

  “Hmm. Do you bring all the girls here?” I say, half teasing. I really don’t get why Derrick has so much unoccupied land and what a group of guys would do here, besides bring girls and alcohol to get rowdy.

  “No,” he murmurs, his lips grazing my forehead, effectively silencing my thoughts. “I’ve never brought any girl here.”

  I shift so that I can look into his eyes. “Why me?”

  He looks back at me for a moment, not speaking, and I wonder if I asked the wrong question. But then he speaks. “He comes out here to find peace. We all do. Sometimes, we just need to get away from all the bullshit, you know? Tonight, I wanted to rescue you from all the bullshit. Is it working?”

  His declaration steals my breath. If he hadn’t already stolen my heart, he’d have had that, too. I don’t know what to say, overwhelmed by this man who sought to rescue me from my own personal bullshit. No questions asked. It amazes me that this is who he is. Then again, it makes sense. He’s my dreamer. No way could he hold onto his optimism, his hope, without learning to seek and find an escape—a place to grasp hold of peace.

  “Tell me something,” he murmurs, leaning down to brush his lips against mine in a feather soft kiss.

  “Tell you what?”

  “Anything. Something…real. Something honest.”

  “I despise my mother.” The words come out as I exhale—no filter, no second thought—they just fall right out of my mouth, as if they’ve been there all night, waiting to be called.

  Once I realize what I’ve said, I search Sage’s face for some sort of response. He simply looks at me like he’s waiting to hear more. I’m amazed at the calm that I feel. I’ve never actually said the words out loud. I sigh and then rest my cheek against his chest, surprised that I have more truths waiting on the tip of my tongue to be spoken. Maybe it’s this place; maybe it’s the darkness and the endless sky. Or maybe it’s just him. Sage—the heat of his body wrapped around mine; the warmth of his gaze; the comfort of his presence.

  “I don’t remember when I stopped loving her. All I know is that it was long after she stopped loving me. She always provided for me, but she never really took care of me. I had to learn how to do that on my own. But she needed me. She’s always needed me. In her little, miserable world, I’m his scapegoat. Since I was six, she’s needed me as her target. I’m to blame for everything that went wrong in her marriage. I’m the reason he left. And I hate her…I hate her for so many reasons.”

  I don’t realize that I’ve got a fist-full of Sage’s shirt until he places his hand over mine. I suck in a deep breath, lifting my head to look at him. He doesn’t say anything, though. Neither does he try and pry my fingers away from him. He simply stares down at me, his eyes roaming over my face as if he’s trying to memorize me in this very moment.

  There’s something about his silence that puts me at ease. Like—like he understands there are no words to be said. I’ve shared with him a piece of my reality, a piece of my bullshit, and nothing either of us can say or do will change it. But here, now, under the stars, he’s brought me to a place for me to let it go—even if just for tonight.

/>   “Kiss me,” I whisper, suddenly needing his lips on mine more than my next breath.

  He responds in kind, kissing me decisively. I free a soft moan, the feel of his mouth satisfying me in a way words could not express. I let go of his shirt, sliding my hand up and around his neck, begging him to stay close. He traces his tongue across my lip, seeking entrance, and I grant him full access as I open up for him. When he deepens the kiss, I feel it as my desire dampens the thin fabric of my thong. I’m no longer close enough—I want more. I need more.

  Without breaking our kiss, I move to straddle his lap, my sweater dress riding the short distance up my thighs as I settle myself against him. He sits up straighter, pulling me tighter against his chest. I can feel his growing erection beneath me and the instant I grind my center over it, my whole body is aflame—the night not so cool any longer. When I start to shrug my way out of his hoodie, he helps push it over my shoulders and onto the floor before I grip both sides of his face, kissing him even deeper.

  Deeper. Deeper. I need him as deep as he can go.

  “Baby, tell me you have a condom,” I plead, rubbing against his bulge in a desperate attempt to relieve the ache he’s caused between my legs.

  “Need me inside of you?”

  “All of you,” I whisper, my lips grazing his. “I need you now. Right now. Do you?”

  “Mmmhmm,” he hums. As he lifts his hips to reach for his wallet, he simultaneously makes contact with my swollen clit and I bite my lip as a wave of pleasure washes over me. While he fumbles for protection, I make quick work of his jeans, pulling out his throbbing cock. My mouth waters at the feel of him pulsing in my hand. I unwrap my fingers only to make way for the condom and then I’m up on my knees, poising myself above him.

  “Sage, baby,” I sigh, his fingers sliding along the length of my slick slit, moving aside my thong. “Don’t tease me—please, don’t tease me.”

  “Need your lips, doll face,” he tells me, coating his head in my arousal. I kiss him, hard, anxious for what will follow. As I sweep my tongue through his mouth, he penetrates my entrance and then takes hold of my hips, guiding me over him until every last inch of him is buried inside of me. “Fuck, baby. Can’t get enough of this pussy.”