The Destruction of Sevyn (The Vengeance of Luther Book 1)
Page 26
I was pregnant.
I paused. The smirk that’d been on my lips fell as the words I’d just read registered. Pregnant? While I expected her to tell me bullshit, I didn’t expect to get a solid punch to the gut.
Now I understood what she meant when she said I was the reason for everything. I’d waited seven years to hear her reasoning, wanting to find more reasons to make her into the villain I’d thought she was.
What I didn’t expect was to learn that the only villain in this story was me, and I wasn’t too sure how I felt about it.
“Bull-fucking-shit,” I said, glaring up at her. She didn’t say anything. I looked at the letter and read the line again. I had so many fucking questions. This whole thing could’ve been avoidable had she just opened her fucking mouth and said something. Where was the baby now? Why didn’t she tell me anyway? Frustration burned through me as I ground my teeth, jumping up to my feet. I still had pages of the letter to read, but everything in me wanted to strangle her. But to be angry with her would mean to be angry with myself. How the fuck did this get so complicated so fast?
I gripped the letter tightly and stormed out of the room, locking the door before heading back to the dining room. Chainsaws ran in the yard outside, but I couldn’t even concentrate on what they were doing outside. Everything in my mind wanted to think she was lying just to save her own ass at this point. If she were pregnant, she would’ve been pregnant at the trial, but she wasn’t. She could’ve also got an abortion once you broke up with her, I reminded myself. I sat at the dining table and continued reading, raking my hand through my hair.
Logan was with me when I found out. I’d also told her that we’d been seeing each other. I’d made her promise not to tell you because I’d wanted to tell you myself. But when you broke up with me out of what felt like nowhere, I felt that you knew and just didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I was so angry and confused. I mean how’d we go from having sex the night before and you telling me you loved me to you no longer wanting to be with me? I’ll admit I should’ve just asked Logan or just told you the next day to confirm whether or not she told you, but I was so caught up in my own emotions that I didn’t make the best decisions.
Before you wonder what happened to the baby, there’s nothing to worry about since there’s no baby anymore. My mom found out about my pregnancy test from the maid. I tried to say it was Logan’s not knowing that she’d call your mom to tell her that Logan had taken a pregnancy test at my house. I felt terrible for throwing Logan under the bus, but I didn’t know what else to do. Even then, all my mother went on about was how much of an embarrassment Logan would be to her family and how she’d never stand for me embarrassing the family like that. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? Once she realized it was actually my test, I knew I’d never hear the end of it.
As soon as I read that passage, I knew I couldn’t deny it anymore. I actually remembered this day. I’d come home at the tail end of an argument my mom and Logan were having about a pregnancy test and my mom made her take another one. Even though Logan had written about it in her diary, she never confirmed that it was Sevyn’s test either. When I’d asked her about it, all she said was that Sevyn’s mom found a pregnancy test at her home and she said that Sevyn told her mom it wasn’t hers and that it belonged to a friend. I never once wondered if Sevyn was pregnant. She and I weren’t together anymore so that was the least of my concern. How could I have been so fucking stupid, I thought to myself as I continued through the letter.
Everything in me wanted to keep it. Even if we never got back together, I wanted to keep it because it was the last piece of you that I had left, the last sliver to remind me of the happiness I’d experienced for the time I’d been with you. I can’t begin to explain how much that summer meant to me, to finally feel like I mattered to someone after spending majority of my life being ignored by the people who made me. But my mom took the decision away from me. She’d laced a drink she’d made for me with an abortion pill and I miscarried hours later in the middle of the night. I was alone. I was scared because I didn’t understand what was happening with my body. I felt betrayed that my mom would do something like that to me. Even while I lay on my bathroom floor bleeding and screaming, she didn’t comfort me. She just watched as I bled out on my bathroom floor. She only told me she was doing what she thought was best for my future and that maybe that would teach me to keep my legs closed. I’d lost so much blood that night because my mother had given me more medicine than she was supposed to. Instead of taking me to the hospital, she simply called our family doctor over to the house to “save our reputation.” I lost our baby and I was alone, hurt, angry, and devastated and there was no one there. All the emotions just bubbled to the surface and I woke up from that painful night feeling like someone else. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I wanted everyone around me to hurt as much as I was hurting, and I didn’t care about the consequences.
I had to admit that a small ball of guilt sat in the middle of my throat. I knew her parents were cold, but I didn’t think they’d put her in danger like that just to save face. I almost felt bad for her. She’d trusted me and I ditched her, leaving her to deal with the aftermath alone while I continued the rest of my summer unaffected. I had no idea what my actions would’ve cost her or my sister. I’d been a selfish asshole back then, and the realization that this whole situation had just come back full circle didn’t go unnoticed. It all started with me inflicting pain, then she inflicted pain, and here I was again, starting the cycle back over. For years, I’d painted Sevyn as this monster, this evil bitch who got away with destroying the lives of my family when in reality, it was Karma that served that dish back to me. I couldn’t call her a monster if I refused to look at my own reflection and acknowledge that I was no better than her at this point.
I practically helped her kill my sister as well.
I don’t know what I would’ve done had my mom gave me the actual decision. I know if I would’ve kept it, they probably would’ve disowned me. I wouldn’t have been able to go off to college and since we weren’t together or talking, I wouldn’t have wanted to bother you with that either. It was probably for the best anyway. I don’t think I would’ve made a great mom. It wasn’t like I had much of an example to learn from. But with the betrayal from my mother, the loss of the last piece of the one man that’d meant the most to me, and my broken heart was too much to bear. I’d stayed in bed for days after that. I didn’t talk to anyone, I didn’t go anywhere, I didn’t eat anything. All I could think about was how I had no one. How I couldn’t trust anyone. How I thought none of this wouldn’t have happened had Logan not told you my secret. I just…I hit rock bottom. I was empty and so devastated. I felt as if I had no one in my corner. I was so angry at Logan because I thought she was the reason I lost you. I wanted her to hurt as much as I did. I acted on my emotions because I was hurting and had no one I thought I could count on anymore. I’m not trying to justify anything, but this is the truth of why things happened how it did.
I may never fully understand why we broke up. Maybe I don’t deserve to know. But I wanted you to know the truth. I hope this brings your family some kind of closure, to at least be able to understand how all of this happened. But I do know one thing: hurting her didn’t fix any of the hurt within me. All it did was make me lose my best friend and the love of my life forever. I’m truly sorry for the pain I’ve caused your family and I hope that one day, when all of this is over, you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
I’m sorry.
-Sevyn
I sat there staring at the letter for so long that I didn’t realize the guys had come back into the house.
“What’s up with you?” Paul asked, breaking my concentration. He nodded toward the letter. “What’s that?”
“Sevyn’s reason,” I murmured idly, leaning back into my seat.
“Is it bad or something?” Jake asked. I pushed the letter across the table and he picked it up,
his eyes scanning the page as he read. Curtis and Paul huddled on the sides of him, reading the letter with him as I just sat there silently. When they finally reached the last page, Jake pushed the letter back over the table. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” I said. I was still at a loss for words for what the fuck I was supposed to do. It was so easy to point the blame at others when you were trapped in your own rage. Now it made sense. While I was angry with her, there was something in the back of my mind that told me this situation was bigger than her. It was probably why I couldn’t feel the satisfaction I’d wanted while hurting her. It didn’t matter what I did, I didn’t get the same euphoric feeling I’d gotten after I’d killed the other women.
“So, what are you going to do? I think this kind of changes the gears of things, doesn’t it?” Curtis asked. I honestly didn’t know the answer to his question. I still couldn’t even believe some of the shit I’d read. Her mother spiking her drink with an abortion pill to miscarry the baby? My baby? I took a mental step back. The fucking Langdons. The city of Miami held them to this ridiculous standard to where they’d do anything to maintain a fucking image. They’d pay off judges, jurors, practically poison their own daughter just to make sure that nothing negatively affected them.
They shouldn’t get away with murder either.
But now I had a dilemma. There was no way I was letting Sevyn go. Anyone who came to this house didn’t leave alive and if they left alive, they couldn’t leave without killing someone. Those were always the rules. I couldn’t see Sevyn taking someone else’s life, but I was hesitating on killing her just yet. My freedom relied on which decision I ended up making and if I chose wrong, I’d be the downfall of everyone. The last thing I wanted was for my brothers to pay for sins I’d committed, but this single letter fucked with my head.
Shit had gotten a lot more complicated and I needed to figure it out.
Fast.
Thanks for reading The Destruction of Sevyn! Get ready for the epic duet conclusion with The Sins of Luther on September 14, 2020!
Books by Ember Michaels
Rules of Bennett trilogy
Rules of Bennett (0.5)
You Will Bow (1)
You Will Break (2)
You Will Obey (3)
The Vengeance of Luther duet
The Destruction of Sevyn (1)
The Sins of Luther (2)
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