Blessed Fate (Blessed Tragedy)

by HB Heinzer

  "Yeah, what's up?"

  "Don't screw this up. She needs someone like you in her life, and I think she's finally realizing that. Don't piss her off; she's actually been really pleasant the past few days." I understood exactly what Angie was saying. If you weren't in Rain's inner circle, she had walls built up so high you could never get in. I'd overheard more than one crew member talking about the fact that she seemed more approachable since our talk in Jackson, almost as if she was letting everyone get a bit closer to her now.

  "On the bus, now. Need to have a chat," Jon called out as I was rounding the front of the bus. He didn't call these little meetings often, so I was more than just a bit on edge wondering what was going on, hoping like hell there wasn't drama brewing.

  Rain was sitting at the dining table staring at something on her laptop when I entered the bus. "Hey baby, you know what this is about?" I leaned down to kiss her, trying to keep her from seeing the envelope in my back pocket.

  "Nope, I was hoping you might." She looked up at me and smiled, reminding me that I was a very, very lucky man. "Trav, you know what's up?" She yelled towards the bathroom. Travis' answered was muffled by the door, but it was apparent he was as clueless as we were.

  "Hey guys, I got a phone call and we need to talk." This statement from Jon worried me. I was a firm believer that the words 'we need to talk' should be outlawed because ninety-nine percent of the time, nothing good followed them.

  "Mercy Crush had to drop out of their summer tour," he continued. "Tanya got a call this morning, asking if we'd be willing to take their place."

  "Sounds good to me, Travis said without taking his eyes off the video game he was playing.

  Jon shook his head. "We all know you don't have a life, but I need to know that you two are on board." When he looked from me to Rain, my eyes followed his, and I saw the gears turning in her mind. I could almost hear her twisting Jon's attempt to be courteous, knowing I had plans for us for the break, and turning it into a reason being together was a bad idea.

  "Why wouldn't we be?" I asked. Yes, it was a legitimate question, but it would be nice if Jon thought about things like how Rain reacted to things like that. Then again, why should he? It's not as if it was his relationship on the line. Hell, in his eyes, no woman was worth the effort I had gone through to get where I was.

  "Well, I know you two had plans for the break, and those are shot to shit if we do this. We'll have three weeks off, but we have to get back to Portland, try to get some writing in, hopefully lay at least a few tracks, and get back to Memphis for the first show." Okay, so when he put it like that, I could see why he was asking.

  This was a critical time for Blessed Tragedy. We had finally started garnering national attention, meaning bigger bands had started asking us to open for them. It's the reason we had busted our asses all those years, sometimes doing shows as many as six nights a week, driving through the night to extend our reach. To pass on the opportunity would be career suicide, especially on a summer tour where the venues accommodated more fans.

  At the same time, Rain and I needed this time together to strengthen our relationship, independent of the band. Life on the road is much like living in a bubble. We both knew there were things we avoided talking about because there was no way to escape one another if things turned ugly. Not only that, but if we fought, it affected everyone around us and could negatively impact our performance, thus putting future bookings on the line.

  We planned our trip back to Portland to give us time to see how we interacted without other people around us day and night. To just be Maddie and Colton, and honestly, to hopefully allow me to see Maddie more than Rain now that I was learning more about the person she'd been for most of her life. Even better, I think that for once in her adult life, she didn't see the girl her parents raised her to be as being something insignificant or fake.

  I was also hoping to surprise her by taking her to see her dad and her brothers on the way through to Portland. Rain needed to spend some time with them since she had lost so much time when no one was communicating. It was important to me because I needed her brothers to know how much she meant to me. Now that was going to have to wait as well.

  "Jon, I have a thought." I slid off the bench and motioned for Jon to follow me back to the bedroom. Until I knew he was cool with it, I wasn't going to say anything in front of everyone. Rain looked a little perturbed by this fact, so I leaned down to kiss her and let her know it would be okay.

  "Whatcha got?" Jon asked as I shut the door.

  I pulled my phone from my pocket and started sending an email to my dad. "You remember how my dad started trying to make up for being a fuck-off around the time we got out of high school?" Jon was one of the only people who knew about that. My dad was an absentee parent for over ten years of my life, so I wasn't anxious to tell everyone when he showed up again.

  "Yeah, but what's that have to do with us hitting the road again?" I could tell my seemingly unrelated question agitated Jon.

  "Well, he has a vacation home about an hour from here. Always told me I can use it any time I want but I rarely have a reason to. So, I was thinking if he's not there, we could hole up for the few weeks we have off, get some shit done, and then we're not wasting a ton of time going from here to Portland and then Portland to Memphis." Had I thought of the vacation house sooner, I would have said screw the road trip and spent as much time as possible there with Rain. If that wasn't going to happen, might as well have everyone there.

  "Hmmm, think he'll be cool with it?" Jon rubbed his chin the way he did when he was trying to figure out something in his head. "I mean, you two aren't tight, and we're not exactly clean cut. Is it going to cause problems?"

  "Nah, and last I knew, he had a piano there, so it'd be good for getting some work done." Suddenly, it seemed like the perfect idea. We could all use a little R&R but we had work to do too. What better place work than a house right on the beach?

  "If you're sure, let's do it. I'll make the calls I need to, you get that set up and we'll go from there. Rain going to be cool with this?"

  "Yeah, I think she'll be fine. You know her, it's all about what's best for the band, her personal life be damned." If either of us wasn't going to be okay with this solution, it would have been me. What I said to Jon was the truth. If it was what the band needed, Rain would be on board with it. Hadn't that what kept us apart for so many years?

  By the time we got through our set, Rain looked ready to murder someone. Jon and I had spent much of the afternoon working together to sort out all the details of temporarily moving our home base cross-country. I let Jon deal with most of the business details while I took care of contacting the property manager my dad used for the house to have them send someone to open it up, clean it and stock the cupboards.

  Since it was the last night of this tour, we headed to the wrap party at a local club. It felt like every time I found Rain, she would disappear into the crowd. A few times, I saw her on the dance floor, displaying moves I didn't realize she had. Sure, she could head bang with the best, but seeing her bumping and grinding to house music was something new, and maddeningly sexy.

  Less than two hours after getting to the club, I needed to get out of there. This was going to be the only night Rain and I had to spend together alone, and I didn't want to waste a minute of it. I had given the keys to the hotel room to Jon, and he and Travis were going to drive down in the morning. I found Rain talking to a group of locals and headed for the door.

  "Going somewhere special?" Rain asked when she saw my Harley sitting at the curb. We had ridden over in a limo with some of the other bands, so I had asked Jared to bring the bike when they finished tearing down.

  "You'll see," I said, throwing my leg over the bike. I felt her settle in behind me, and she squeezed my waist to let me know she was ready to roll.

  The drive along the coast was excruciating. I had to stay focused so I wouldn't get pulled over for speeding and I couldn't take my mind off what I k
new was about to come.

  We pulled up to the entrance to the gated community, and I entered the code to gain access. The few times I had been here, I always thought it was interesting that my dad used my birthday as the code since he spent so many years of my life ignoring my existence. Rain tensed as we drove through the neighborhoods to get to our destination.

  Other than the location, the two-story home my father and his wife used less than a month out of the year was the type of home I would love to have some day. Hell, knowing how hard he had been working to regain my trust, I probably could live here as long as they didn't want to visit while I was home.

  "What's going on?" Rain asked as she tentatively got off the bike.

  "Come on." I led her up the brick walkway to the house.

  Everything was set exactly as I had requested. The side table lights were on in the living room casting a warm glow against the taupe walls. Had I known for sure what time we were going to get here, I would have paid good money to have candles burning throughout the house, but I figured that would be a bit risky since I couldn't ask someone to come over this late at night.

  "What are we doing here?" Rain whispered as if she expected someone to catch us sneaking around the house.

  I silently led her through the living room to the veranda. Had it been possible to order the desired weather to set a mood, I would have ordered exactly this type of night. There was a warm breeze blowing off the gulf and the humidity was relatively low. I stretched out on the chaise lounge at the corner of the deck and pulled Rain onto my lap.

  "Well, you wanted to go into your cave and forget about the world for a while, so I'm giving you a cave to hide in." I tried to pull her head down to my shoulder, but she jerked back so she was looking at me.

  "You can't afford a place like this." She was right, I couldn't, but she also didn't know about my dad. I would have told her if it wasn't a topic I didn't like to visit, especially when I was supposed to be enjoying a private, romantic evening with my woman.

  "Don't worry about that. Just relax and enjoy yourself." She had finally relaxed enough to rest her head on my chest. I brushed the hair away from her face before running my hand along the soft contours of her body.

  "And Jon's cool with this? I mean, he made it pretty clear we needed to get back to Portland as quick as possible, so we can cram in work before we leave again. I really don't need him getting pissy with me again." I hated the way she was constantly worrying about what Jon thought. Sometimes, it felt like I was in a three-way relationship with her and Jon for as often as his name came up in the decisions that only concerned the two of us.

  "Yeah, Jon's all good. That's what we were talking about earlier. He and Travis are going to take our hotel room for the night, and then they'll come down sometime tomorrow late afternoon."

  "But what about—"

  "No, no thinking. Just let go and enjoy yourself. You've been a beast lately, taking on everything that life throws at you. You deserve this." I had never seen a woman so hell-bent on finding reasons to get out of a free vacation in a home one-step below a mansion. I pushed away the thought that maybe she was pulling away from me, from us.

  "But—"

  "I said no." I did the only thing I could think of to keep her from protesting anymore. I pulled her body over mine, turning her so our chests pressed together and I kissed her. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was hard enough to get my point across. We had better things to do than talk.

  As much as I was dying to get Rain upstairs and make love to her, it felt right lying on the lounge chair with her, listening to the sounds of the night. She kept rambling for a while, trying to get me to tell her how I could afford to rent a house like this, and I kept trying to change the subject. There would be time to tell her that it really was no problem, but I didn't want my dad or the shitty parts of my childhood to cloud such a special night.

  I stared into the distance for a long time, trying to figure out how I wound up where I was. With my arms wrapped around the only woman I wanted in my life and being in a band on the verge of hitting the big leagues, I really didn't have anything that could upset me. I looked down at Rain, fully intending to kiss her and saw she was just as lost in thought as I had been.

  "Hey, Moo, what's going on?" I cringed when I let her nickname pass my lips, certain I had just killed our night. I couldn't explain why I said it; it just seemed right.

  "Why'd you call me that?" She wasn't screaming, so that was something. Instead, she looked sad and surprised at hearing the name only her family called her.

  "Don't know, guess it just came out. You're not gonna castrate me or anything, are you?"

  She laughed, and I knew we were okay. "Not this time. I'm not sure what's more shocking, that you called me Moo or that I'm not pissed at you for it."

  I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. Seeing Rain contemplative wasn't normal. Seeing her bottle her emotions when they hit, sure, that was Rain, but this was different. The only thing I could think of that could be bothering her was that she was having regrets about deciding to get together.

  "So, are you going to tell me what you're thinking, or do I need to drag it out of you?" I needed to keep the mood light, for myself as much as for her. I started wiggling my fingers against her sides, right above the spot I knew would have her writhing above me.

  The words that came from her mouth when she finally relaxed weren't the ones I had prepared to hear. "I'm worried about my dad. I think there's something he's not telling us."

  "What do you want to do?" I had no clue what I was supposed to say to that. Part of me wondered how she would know, seeing as she hadn't seen him for so long before her mom died, but I knew that would come across as cruel. I couldn't tell her it was probably nothing because I knew she wasn't a fan of feeling as if her opinions were insignificant. I kissed the crown of her head and let my lips rest there, waiting for her to go on.

  "Is Jon going to throw a shit fit if I say I want to go see Dad before we hit the road again? I can't shake this feeling, and it'll kill me if anything happens and I didn't at least try to reach out to him." I swear, if I hear his name again, if I have to keep listening to her putting Jon's feelings above her own, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.

  "I'll call him, but I don't think he'll have a problem with it. If you want, we'll grab one of the cars and head out whenever you're ready." It wasn't ideal, but it made more sense to take one of the cars sitting in the garage than ride the bike. Rain could take a turn at driving when I got tired if we were in a car. On the bike, we would have no choice but to stop at a hotel.

  "Grab one of the cars?" Rain's head lifted off my chest, and she gave me a confused stare.

  "Yeah, there's an Audi Q7 and a Challenger out in the garage. We can leave tonight if you want."

  "And we could take cars that don't belong to us on a cross-country trip because..."

  "Because they're my dad's, and I can use whatever I want when I'm down here. Call it his way of making up for lost time." So much for not bringing him up tonight.

  I had hoped that would be enough of an explanation for now, but Rain pressed me for the full story. I gave it to her with as few details as possible, so we could get back to what was important, like figuring out how to get her home for a while and getting back here so we could get some work done.

  In the end, Rain suggested that we fly so we wouldn't waste any time. After figuring out that we would have a minimum of thirty hours on the road between the drive up and back, I agreed that would be the best decision and offered to look for flights leaving in the morning.

  Within minutes of deciding to make an unexpected, quick trip to see her dad, I felt Rain's body relaxing on top of me. I couldn't blame her; the crash following the end of any tour was particularly hard. Tonight, it was the combination of knowing we had made it through our first big tour and knowing there were no more crazy days where work consumed every minute.

  I glanced at my watch and saw that it was nearly
four in the morning. I needed to call Jon and let him know about this latest development since chances were high that we wouldn't be here by the time they arrived. I shifted Rain to my side and slowly got up from the chair.

  "Yeah?" Jon was either incredibly drunk or he had already fallen asleep when I called. Quite possibly a combination of the two.

  "Hey, your lazy ass punk out already?"

  "If you'd called about three minutes later I'd have been asleep. What's up? Shouldn't you be fucking that girl's brains out about now?" I heard Travis and a few other people laughing in the background and knew the party was just winding down. I just hoped they hadn't done any damage to the room since the charges were on my personal card.

  "She's already out like a light." They didn't need to know the sordid details regarding what we had or hadn't done. "Look, something came up. We're going to fly out in the morning, head up to see her Pops. She's worried that something's wrong with him, and it's really freaking her ass out."

  "Jesus, Colt. We have three fucking weeks to cram in what we had planned to spend two months doing. There's no way you two can just run the fuck off because her guilty conscience is getting the best of her." Hearing him go off like that told me he had had enough alcohol for the both of us and probably some for Rain, too. Jon was normally one of Rain's biggest supporters, so it pissed me off to hear him downplaying what she was going through.

  "Look, if this is what she needs to do, we owe it to her." I really hoped Rain was still sound asleep because she needed this time with her family. While I understood what he was saying, there was no way in Hell I was going to be the one to tell Rain that the band couldn't afford for her to go see her dad. "Jon, she's been through hell, and she swears something's not right with her dad. You saw how tore up she was when we came back from the funeral. Do you want to think about what it'll do to her, what it'll do to us, if something is wrong and we were pricks to her?"

  I heard Jon's hand slap against something, probably either a wall or countertop. "Fuck! What do you expect me to do, man? I just don't see how it's going to work. The whole fucking point of us staying in Florida was to maximize the time we had to get some work done. Now, you're telling me that you're gonna go hold her hand while she runs home. Tell me how we're supposed to get tracks down with half the band all the fucking way up there."