Love Is Mortal

by Caroline Hanson

  “Why?” He gave into the emotion choking him, unsure if he was laughing or sobbing. “Maybe this was always going to happen.” This was his fate.

  She squeezed her eyes closed. “No. I thought she would be…unconscious when the end came. We’d open the coffin, and you’d stake her. I didn't expect…I have to see her again too.”

  “Now you can give her a goodbye kiss.”

  “Don’t. I don’t—” Rachel swallowed hard, eyes wide, as though she was shocked too. What had she been about to say?

  He stepped in close to her, demanding she give him her attention. “I’m going to kill her. You promised me. If it doesn’t happen….” He was a goddamned idiot. There was nothing he could say. They would go get Marion out of her coffin, and she would either kill him, or he would kill her. It was that simple.

  Chapter 12

  “DON’T FORGET permission slips for tomorrow, and the debate tryouts have been moved from B-1 to the cafeteria. Have a good weekend and don’t do anything stupid.” There. That was tactful, right? Valerie had a habit of speaking first and regretting instantly after. It was on her list of things to sort out.

  Someday.

  Her students jumped up, slinging bags over their shoulders as they bolted from class. Conversations started up again, picking up where they left off an hour ago without missing a beat. Val sat back down in her chair, and waited to see if anyone would come up to her to ask a question about the homework or what they had discussed today.

  But it was Friday, so no. Although they didn’t usually ask on any other day either. They all filed past her without meeting her gaze, as though she might assign them work if they made eye contact.

  Val smiled. She liked her job. She really did. Val shut down her computer and grabbed her purse, hitting the lights on her way out. Next stop the gym. And then home to a delicious Lean Cuisine. Again.

  She’d managed to run two miles last time. Frankly, she never wanted to run again. And she didn’t quite trust these people who said they ran ten miles on the weekend. Were they liars? Should she be lying? Was the endorphin high a myth? Tonight she’d go, run two miles,

  Add one minute and see what happened.

  As she locked the door behind her, she wondered what would be on TV tonight. Big Bang Theory? A Buffy repeat? If she were lucky, maybe she could find Game of Thrones. Yes, this was her life, and it was pretty good she thought, and then gasped in outrage as she realized she’d parked her car under bird-crap-tree. Her car was now covered in shit. No, that’s my life.

  Chapter 13

  AS THE hours passed, Virginia became more confused about Cerdewellyn. She had spent centuries longing for him and cursing her fate. Now she had been given another chance. No, had taken it, and yet she still was not with him. Where was he? What did he expect of her? If he cared for her, truly longed for her, would he not be here, right now?

  And now all she could think was that time was passing. They had spent hundreds of years away from each other, and she was still alone. He was close, two rooms away was all that separated them, and yet she was not with him.

  Even the queen was no impediment. Virginia was not a girl who waited. She rose from her bed and went into the hall, its barren emptiness a tragedy. There should be Fey bustling up and down the corridors. Everyone who had seen her had bowed.

  There was no one to bow to her now.

  The door to Cerdewellyn’s chamber was open, the man himself standing at a window and looking out at the world below.

  “I want to kill him,” he said.

  “He deserves it.”

  “It scares me how much I want to hurt him.” He turned to look at her, gaze empty of the Cerdewellyn she loved. This was a hollow shell of him, whatever was animating him now based in darkness. “He is our salvation, my only chance to get back the Sard and have enough power to slay the vampires, and yet I am afraid to be alone with him.” He smiled at her sadly, “I fear that I will give in to my murderous impulses and destroy our chance. That is not who I am. He is the impulsive one. Not I. And now here I am at the edge of utter ruin with one last chance to save us, and all I can think about is cutting him open and consuming his beating heart.”

  She walked to his side and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her ear to his chest. She could hear his heart beating, the intensity of his desires quickening his breathing.

  “Soon, my king.”

  He made a sound in his chest, and she squeezed him tighter. “This world is almost empty of magic. I may never find the Sard; in which case, the only power I will have, is what I siphon from him.”

  “Does he know where the Sard is?” Virginia asked.

  He pulled away from her, not meeting her gaze as though he were ashamed. “I have not been able to do more than ask him. This world is so weak that I fear that if I leave it, it will collapse. I need you to help me, Virginia.” He came back towards her; expression filled with pain.

  “Anything,” she vowed. She was filled with joy at the idea of helping him, becoming more his equal.

  “I need to know once and for all if he has the Sard. I need you to take his strength and stay here, so that we do not lose this world. Your presence will keep it alive.”

  “Where will you go? What will you do?”

  He kissed her lightly on the forehead. “There were Others who stayed behind when we came to this new world. I need to make sure for myself that they are gone. And perhaps one of them will have left some clue as to the location of the Sard.”

  “But it’s dangerous,” she said, and instantly regretted it. She could see his features harden, knew she had pricked his pride.

  “I’m not so weak that you must fear for my safety like a child loosed from its mother’s skirts.”

  “No! That is not what I meant, and you know it.” She reached up to kiss him on the mouth and his jaw, desperate to show him that she did not think of him as weak. She still saw him as perfection, as her God, even there was no one else to worship him besides herself.

  She felt his hands on her arms, the strength he so carefully kept in check as he began to set her away from him. She made a noise similar to a sob, emotion overwhelming her. “No Cer, please! I am sorry. So sorry. It is only us; I love you. I swear it!” She found herself crying, and he stopped, wrapped his arms around her instead and pulled her close, sheltering her in his embrace.

  “It is all right, Virginie. We will find a way back from this. I swear it to you.” She would not let him go again. She would not be put off again. He was hers, and he would be hers—now. After several minutes, she composed herself and pulled back, looking up into his omnipotent gaze. Truly, he seemed to be more than her. More beautiful, more powerful. Different and above her. But mine.

  He inclined his head, an invitation to tell him what she was thinking. She didn’t know where to start. His eyes moved over her face, from lips to eyes, and then he squeezed her hand in encouragement. Unaccountably, she had an urge to cry again.

  “This is not how I thought it would be,” she said.

  “You are here. It is wondrous in our eyes. That is all you need think upon.” He leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips.

  She had been demanding he lie with her when the queen attacked them. It had been all she had wanted in the world. Like a fool, she had spent days planning the perfect way to make her dreams come true. She had worn a thin shift, one that would show her body when it was wet, let her hair down because he had always liked her curly hair…but this is not my hair. On the outside, she was someone else. Could he love her enough to see beyond the exterior? To remember who she had been? Perhaps he preferred Valerie Dearborn’s olive skin and dark eyes. Her larger breasts and…she could not think that way. There was no point.

  She blinked back tears.

  “Virginie, my heart. What is wrong?” he murmured, lips trailing up her cheeks to her tears. He kissed them away and pulled back, licking the last hint of them from his lips.

  “I love you. That is all. I am…gratefu
l and beyond amazed that we can be together. But…it is so selfish.” She shook her head, the words stuck in her throat.

  “What?”

  She stared at his doublet, at the fine gold stitching that edged the collar, unwilling to look into his face as she told him her petty problems. They were the only ones left in all of Fey, and she was worried about something utterly trivial. “You look at me and…this is not me. This is her. Another girl. And I wonder…when you take me to bed, finally, will you see her or will you see me?”

  “Always you. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known.”

  “No. I know that is a lie.” Annika had been beauteous beyond wonder.

  “You do not. You are my queen. My destiny. A balance of souls. The exterior does not matter. It is you I see. You I saw for hundreds of years as I thought of my failure. That I did not protect you.” He dropped down suddenly to his knees and took her hand in his, pressing the back of her hand to his forehead. As though he didn’t deserve to touch her, and expected her to stop him at any moment. He looked up at her, and her heart broke to see him; his strong features, those penetrating eyes, shining with tears. “I failed you. I failed everyone and everything. I am so sorry, Virginia. Sorrier and filled with more shame than you could ever know.”

  She sank down next to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, squeezing him fiercely. He did not hold her back, seemed too aggrieved to respond with affection. “You did not fail me. And it does not matter. We are here now. We are together, and we can start again. We will take from the vampires, eradicate them all, and then we will begin again. The Fey will return, Cerdewellyn.”

  He drew back and stood, holding out his hand to pull her up. “My queen does not belong on the ground.”

  She let him pull her up, but gripped his arms as though he might try to run away from her. “You are honorable, Cerdewellyn. A good leader, and a gentle king. Ruthlessness is not in your nature, and that should not be a cause for shame, but joy. It is only because of his ruthlessness that you must change. You know your mistakes, and you are changing to fix them…” Words failed her.

  His voice had a rough edge to it. “Not being ruthless is a weakness. It is shameful when it means I cannot keep my people safe.”

  “I will be ruthless for you,” Virginia said, and she meant it.

  Cerdewellyn laughed. His hands came up and cupped her chin, his words low with promise and devotion, “I swear to you that I will keep you safe. That no one will ever harm you again. That I will do anything, to keep you.” And then he kissed her, hard, his arm around her waist as he pulled her close. He kissed her deeply, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to push her doubts aside. It didn’t matter what she looked like. It mattered that they were together. That he loved her.

  The kiss slowed, gentled, and he pulled back from her with reluctance. She could feel his desire for her, and a part of her could not believe that the time had finally come where he would take her. And yet….

  She frowned.

  “Virginia,” he said in a low tone, demanding that she tell him what was wrong.

  “I am sorry. But, this, this is not me. None of it. I look in the mirror, and I see her. I speak, and I sound like her.”

  He made a noise deep in his throat.

  “No, I am dead. Maybe that is the truth, Cerdewellyn. I am dead, and there is nothing for it, but to accept it.”

  “So maudlin all the sudden. Why, my heart?”

  She looked up into his bottomless black eyes, and knew she had to tell him. No matter how stupid or embarrassing. She had to tell him. “It won’t be me. The girl you take to bed and perform the right with. I will be her. Do you love her? Do you want her? Expect your children to look like her instead of me? With her dark skin and hair.”

  “I do not see her. I see you.”

  She shook her head. She wished she could believe him, but she knew the truth.

  “Come.” He held out his hand, and she had no other option but to take it. He led her towards the mirror. “You are Virginia Dare. You are the one I waited for. The one I grieved for, and now you are back. Because you were strong enough to fight for us. You are not her.” His head descended, lips making the barest contact along her neck. She shivered and felt the shudder all down her. Felt her body open, ripen, and wanted to lean against him, offer herself to him. He was her king, her protector. Her destiny.

  “You did not give up. And you shall be rewarded. The king of the Fey is not without resources.”

  His fingers traced her cheek, slid into her hair. And as she watched, her face changed, shifted from Valerie’s to hers. Her hair color changed to a lighter brown; her eyes lightened to her own mossy green.

  “Your beautiful hair, Virginia. I always imagined it, what it would feel like sliding down my body.”

  She shivered. Was transfixed, as his hand slid down her neck, the color of her skin changing before her eyes. She’d had a tiny mole on her neck, and it showed up as his hands slid past. “Change all of me. My legs, my arms, my chest—all of it Cerdewellyn.”

  He gave her a faint smile and did what she asked, both of them watching in the mirror as her body changed and shifted, illusion overcoming everything, so that nothing was left of Valerie Dearborn. The last to go were the clothes. Indecent, exposing clothes, made of rough blue fabric that showed her bottom and outlined the front of her body. Her clothing was replaced with a dress, her own. Light pink with black satin trim.

  She stopped his hand on her stomach, lacing her fingers with his, heart beating with the triumphant sound of destiny. “No Cerdewellyn. No clothes. Not now.” And she turned in his arms, bringing her mouth to his, absorbing his kiss inside of her, hands restless on his chest, wanting to touch, feel, and be with him. She was making up for lost time. For all the things she would have done had she known that her life was about to be cut short.

  But now she was back, and she vowed that nothing would ever keep her from Cerdewellyn again.

  Chapter 14

  VIRGINIA FELT Cerdewellyn slip out of bed quietly, heard him moving about the room, preparing himself to go back to the mortal world. She watched him through sleep-laden eyes, enjoying the sight of his strong body before her. She wanted to pretend that everything was fine, at least for a little while.

  As Valerie did. And look what it got her.

  Cerdewellyn stood before her in unrelieved black. “I will go, and when I come back, we must know for certain if he has it. Can you do that?”

  She smiled at him, even blushed. Could she torture the vampire who had ruined their lives and make him talk? “Oh yes, I do not imagine it being a problem at all,” she said, and then he kissed her and left.

  Virginia dressed and ate a plum and some bread that was in the dining room. She was too nervous to eat much, and eager to see Lucas. As she walked through the castle, saddened by the signs of decay and loss, she couldn’t help but think of the woman whose body she now inhabited. She had needed a body and Valerie, well; the woman was confused and weak. Valerie didn’t deserve everything she had been given, and didn’t appreciate the gift of life. Virginia did. She dressed in her own clothing, a robe to ward off the chill, and went down to the dungeon, needing to see her foe.

  She would kill him. Not today, but soon. Her king would have his vengeance, and if she could be the instrument of it, then that too was just.

  His head was bowed as she entered the dark dungeon. She used magic to light the torches, hearing them splutter to life with a whoosh. He raised his head, and she was struck by the intensity of his gaze. He is a predator. It was the first thought that came to her mind. She knew he was confused by her lighting the fire and displaying magic. Knew that when he looked at her; he saw Valerie still.

  How could meek Valerie have kept company with this monster? How had she wondered if she might be in love with him? Nothing human looked out of his cold eyes. “What is wrong?” he asked her. She almost jumped at the sound of his voice. It was dark and beautiful. “What happened
?” he said, unable to take his gaze from the robe, knowing that she was naked beneath it. Did it disturb him to think that Valerie had lain with Cerdewellyn?

  She frowned. He saw her as Valerie. Not as Virginia. Had Cer made the illusion for her alone? And if so, why? But that was something for later. She was here to be ruthless.

  “You do look imposing,” Virginia said, her voice was soft, light and musical. She ignored his question. What Lucas wanted was irrelevant. “Certainly fearful. But I had always imagined you would be regal. You are not regal. You look like a filthy beggar,” she said drawing the words out, wanting them to echo in his mind. There would be no misunderstandings. She studied him as though he were subhuman. “Someone I would have crossed the street to get away from. If Cerdewellyn was in chains, covered in filth and beaten like you, the world would still know him for a king.”

  She saw his gaze sharpen; lips flatten as he studied her. “Valerie?” he asked, and she thought she detected his unease. She closed her eyes and reached out, touching him with the empath’s power that remained in Valerie’s body. She heard him hiss and retreat, mentally staggering away from her.

  “Your heart courses with fear,” she said flatly.

  “What is this?” he asked and looked beyond her. “Where is Valerie, and why do you pretend to be her?”

  “I am Virginia Dare. I am Queen of the Fey. Valerie Dearborn is gone.”

  She felt him reach out, psychically touching her, almost tasting her, in an effort to understand what was happening. “Where is Cerdewellyn?” he asked.

  She smiled at him, huge and radiant. Then her look turned coy. “You do not treat with Cerdewellyn. Not now, and not anymore. I am the one who will save us. And I will use you to do it.”

  “Where is Valerie?” he growled at her.

  “Here,” Virginia said, hand raising to her head. “Or here,” she said and touched her heart. “She is not dead, but she is…away. And this body is mine now. I am Virginia Dare. Know my name, for you will say it when you die.”