Falter

by V. J. Chambers

  “Slow down,” I said. “Who’s Todd?”

  Jude cleared his throat. He still wasn’t looking at me. “It was a surveillance mission. We were trying to get a tracker onto a blood dealer named Todd McKay. We were hoping he’d lead us back to the head of the blood ring and that we could take the whole thing down. Todd figured out what Grace was up to, and he shot her. Azazel took Todd out, and she went back for Grace, but Grace had disappeared.”

  “She never should have done that,” said Boone. “And if it weren’t for you and her, Grace wouldn’t even have to have gone.” He pointed at Jude.

  I raised an eyebrow. “What’s he talking about?”

  “Nothing,” said Jude, getting up from his computer. “Nothing at all. Right, Boone?”

  Boone glared at both of us. “If anything happens to Grace, I will kill you all. I will hold you all personally responsible—”

  “Hold up,” I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You need to calm down. You can’t help Grace unless you can think clearly, right?”

  He gritted his teeth. “How can I help her at all? We don’t know what happened to her.”

  “Well, that’s what we’ve got to figure out, right?” I said. “If she’d run off, she’d have found a way to make contact by now, right?”

  “She was shot,” said Boone. “What if she’s dead?”

  “She’s a Nephilim,” I said. “She heals.”

  “What if they have the same leaves we do?” said Boone.

  I looked at Jude. “Do they?”

  He shook his head. “No, no one does.”

  “So far,” said Boone.

  “Look, let’s just assume she’s not dead,” I said. “So, she’s probably been captured, and probably by this blood ring you guys are hunting.”

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Boone shrugged off my hand and stalked over to the window. “I never should have let her go. I should have made you and Azazel work it out.”

  Did he mean me? Or Jude? Did Jude and Azazel have something to work out? I turned to look at him.

  He still wasn’t looking at me. Well, we hadn’t really spoken in months.

  I took a deep breath. “All right, do you have any other leads on this ring besides this Todd guy?”

  “No,” said Jude. “That was the whole reason we were down there in the first place.”

  “Then we need to find out more about him,” I said.

  “Are you kidding?” said Boone. He turned away from the window. “You know how hard I worked just to find out the guy’s name? He barely exists. He’s not a student. He doesn’t have a job. At least not one that I could find.”

  “He’s all we’ve got, Boone,” I said. “If you want Grace back, we have to start with him.”

  Boone shook his head.

  “Where’s Azazel?” I said.

  “Still in Maryland,” said Jude.

  I dug out my phone.

  “Wait,” said Boone. He handed me an earpiece. “This’ll be faster. Hold on, I’ll open the channel to her.”

  I put the earpiece in. “Azazel?”

  “Jason?” she said, clear as a bell.

  These things were pretty cool. “Hey, there. I know this is a long shot, but do you happen to be anywhere near the body of Todd McKay anymore?”

  “No, the police showed up and took him away a few minutes ago,” she said. “Why?”

  “Damn it,” I said. “I wanted you to go through his pockets. Maybe see—”

  “Way ahead of you,” she said. “It’s the first thing I did after I couldn’t find Grace. I got a bank card, and a whole wad of cash.”

  “A bank card?” said Boone.

  “Yup,” said Azazel.

  He ran over to a computer. “What bank? Can you give me the numbers?”

  “Sure thing,” said Azazel.

  I waited while she rattled them off for Boone. He started typing immediately. He was off and running.

  “That going to help, Boone?” I asked.

  “I can tell you where he banks,” said Boone. “Maybe where he lives.”

  “How long will it take?”

  “An hour at the most,” said Boone.

  “We can’t wait that long,” I said. “Jude and I should go ahead and get on the road.”

  “You and me?” said Jude.

  “Yeah,” I said. “We’ve got to help Azazel, right? And I figure that we’ll need everyone on board to get Grace back safely.” I stretched my neck. “Plus, if we play our cards right, we can find this blood ring and blow them all sky high, right?”

  Boone stopped typing. “Who are you, and what have you done with Jason?”

  Jude met my gaze for the first time. “You and me? Together? In a car? All the way to Maryland?”

  I glared at both of them. “Where do you keep the guns? I think I’m going to need a few.”

  * * *

  I let Jude pick the music, but I was pretty appalled. He seemed to be stuck back in 2009, listening to emo crap. Still, I figured that there were other things I could argue with him about if I really wanted to, so I let it go.

  I actually spent most of the ride letting things go. I would think of things to say to him, realize they were actually just veiled insults, and so I would let out a long slow breath, telling myself it wasn’t worth it.

  Finally, he said, “Would you stop doing that?”

  I was driving, so I couldn’t take my eyes off the road. But I really wanted to give him a look that would shut him up. “Doing what?”

  “Breathing like that.”

  I laughed. “Seriously? The way I breathe pisses you off?”

  “Like you’re not doing it on purpose.”

  I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. I really didn’t get the point of younger brothers. They were really annoying. “Look, I’m all right with you, Jude. We’ve said our apologies for stuff in the past. Let’s just be cool.”

  “We’re not all right with each other,” he muttered. “I mean, sure, we’re not murdering each other, but we’re not exactly friends either.”

  “We’re brothers. We’re never going to be friends.”

  Neither of us said anything.

  “You like Grace, right?” I said.

  “Of course I like Grace,” said Jude.

  “So,” I said, “we keep it together for Grace. She needs us not to fight amongst ourselves.”

  “Yeah, fine,” said Jude.

  I didn’t mention that there was another female that we both seemed to care about. I didn’t want to think about that, especially since they’d been spending so much time together lately.

  Azazel doesn’t want Jude, I said to myself. Azazel doesn’t want Jude.

  I wondered if I could blame my rampant jealousy on some kind of stunted emotional growth too. It wasn’t my fault. It was the fault of the Sons of the Rising Sun, who never let me have a normal childhood.

  Patience’s dead, white face flashed in front of me. Somehow, I didn’t think she’d find my excuses very comforting.

  I let out another long, slow breath.

  “You’re doing it again,” Jude growled.

  * * *

  ~azazel~

  I met up with Jason and Jude on the other side of the mall, in a shopping center that contained a Wal-Mart and a Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It was amazing how corporations seemed to have survived the blackout. I blamed Kieran and Eve. They had been evil, and they’d resurrected everything else that was evil. Clearly.

  Of course, I didn’t really believe in evil. Still.

  It was easier for us to use one vehicle, so I’d just ditched the one that Grace and I had brought down in the first place.

  I slid into the backseat of the car. “Hey, there.”

  “Hey baby,” said Jason. “Nice work with the bank card.” He took off, speeding out of the Wal-Mart parking lot.

  “Boone was able to get an address from it,” I said. “We can’t be sure that Todd actually lives there, but maybe we’ll get lucky.
”

  “All right,” said Jason, “so we head to the address, guns blazing?”

  “No,” I said. “We don’t know what we’ll find there. We pose as FBI.”

  “We don’t have uniforms,” said Jason.

  “We have fake badges,” I said. “Did you guys bring suits?”

  They exchanged a glance that told me everything I needed to know.

  “Guess we’re going back to the mall,” I said.

  * * *

  Jason fidgeted with his tie. I elbowed him. “We’re Agents Rose and Hudson,” I said, flashing my badge. “We’d like to ask you a few questions about Todd McKay.”

  We were standing outside the door to a one-story white house, about forty minutes away from the mall where I’d shot Todd. His address was a small town called Peyton. The town seemed tucked away from the rest of the world. Miles off the interstate, shrouded in forests on all sides. Boone said it was a typical one-stoplight small town. Low population. No industry. Residents even had to drive a half an hour to get to a grocery store. It was very secluded.

  A woman stood in the doorway. She had blonde hair, and she looked to be in her mid twenties, same as Todd. She furrowed her brow. “I just talked to the police.”

  “Well, we’re the FBI, ma’am,” I said. “Could we come in?”

  “Why is the FBI interested in Todd?” She’d been crying. I could see it now, and I could hear the hitch in her voice. I felt a stab of guilt. I was the reason that she was feeling this way. I’d killed Todd. She peered around me. “And why are there three of you?”

  I turned around to see Jude coming up the walk. Dammit, I’d told him to stay back. Jason and I would handle this together.

  “He’s a rookie,” said Jason. “We’re training him, and he’s, you know, following us around.”

  I glared at Jude.

  “The FBI does that?” said the girl. “Really? You do job shadowing?”

  “Gotta learn somehow,” said Jason. “This is Agent... Smoot.”

  Jude glowered at him. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

  I put away my badge. “Listen, what was your relationship with Todd?”

  “We used to date,” she said. “We, um, broke up a month or so ago, and he moved out, but he hadn’t updated his addresses yet.”

  “So, he didn’t live here?” asked Jason.

  She shook her head. “Not anymore.” She looked close to tears again. “Please, this really isn’t a good time for me, so if you have questions, maybe you could just get through them as quick as you can. And maybe I don’t ask you in.”

  Great. Did that mean she wasn’t going to be cooperative?

  “We’re curious about what Todd was doing at the mall today,” I said. “Do you have any idea why he was there?”

  “How would I know?” she said. “We were broken up. I hadn’t talked to him in weeks.”

  “We think Todd might have been doing some kind of... work, I guess you’d call it,” I said.

  She looked confused. “Work? Todd works for the travel agency in town.”

  “In Peyton?” said Jude.

  “Yeah, it’s right on Main Street.”

  “Town this size?” said Jude. “They do a lot of business?”

  She looked even more confused. “What are you saying?”

  “It’s just odd, don’t you think, for a town of this size to have a travel agency?” said Jude. “Maybe that travel agency is a front for something else?”

  Her eyes widened. “Oh my god. He was dealing drugs, wasn’t he? I knew it.”

  “What makes you say that?” Jason asked.

  “He did side work sometimes for the agency. He wouldn’t tell me what it was, but he had this backpack that I wasn’t allowed to touch. He wouldn’t tell me what was in it. I figured it was probably drugs.” She covered her open mouth with one hand. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”

  “You don’t know where he was getting the, um, product in the backpack from?” I asked.

  “No,” she said. “I guess from someone at the travel agency, though.” She shook her head. “That’s why they shot him. For drugs. That idiot.” And then she burst into fresh tears.

  “Thank you for your time, ma’am,” I said. “We’re, um, sorry for your loss.” I turned and walked down the sidewalk. I couldn’t handle watching her cry over him. This was my fault. I’d killed that boy. Sure, he’d shot at Grace. Sure, he’d had a gun. Sure, he’d been dangerous. But people had cared about him, like this girl. I didn’t like to have to think about that.

  Jason squeezed me on the shoulder as we got back into our car. “You okay?”

  I nodded.

  “You had to do it, you know. That Todd kid had a gun, and he was shooting. You didn’t have a choice.”

  “I know,” I said. “Doesn’t make it easy, though.”

  He hugged me close for a minute.

  I closed my eyes, enjoying his closeness. It might have been the first time we’d touched in weeks where I felt completely comfortable in his arms.

  Jude cleared his throat. “Um, should FBI agents be hugging like that?”

  Jason let go of me. “She is my girlfriend, you know, Jude. You should be used to watching me touch her by now.” He went to the driver’s side of the car and yanked open the door.

  Jude sputtered.

  “He’s right,” I said. “Jason and I are together.” I opened the passenger door. Let Jude sit in the back this time.

  * * *

  We were driving on a narrow two-lane road that wound through tall, gnarled trees. The shadows of the foliage made it even cooler here. Coupled with the sun sagging in the west, it had become too cold to drive with the windows down.

  It was too late to hit the travel agency this evening. We’d told Boone about it, and he’d been able to pick up on it right away. The only problem was that it closed at five o’clock, and it was pushing six. So, we were driving out of Peyton, heading for a hotel where Boone had set us up with a room for the night.

  That was right. A room. I think he’d done it punish me personally. I knew he blamed me for what had happened to Grace. The awkwardness of all of us sleeping in one room was going to be hell.

  I could get another room, of course. It wasn’t as if I couldn’t afford it. But I only had credit cards on me, and I didn’t want my real identity traced here. Just in case. So, I’d have to deal with it for tonight. Hopefully, tomorrow, we’d find Grace, kill the vampires, and be back home in time for dinner.

  But not the frozen kind of dinner at headquarters.

  Never again.

  I tried not to think about what I’d done with Jude, but it seemed as if it was all I could think about. Perversely, the harder I tried to push it from my brain, the more often thoughts about it intruded. Brief moments of memory. The sound of Jude groaning, the tickle of his fingers on my skin, the sweet ache of being pierced and pounded.

  I was assaulted by the memories.

  When it had been happening, I’d been enjoying myself. I’d loved every single second of it. I hadn’t wanted to let him go.

  But now it made me feel ill. A thousand hot showers would never cleanse me of it. Something had been stolen from me.

  It was ironic. Ever since I was seventeen years old, I’d been involved in countless near misses when it came to sexual assault. Toby. Mr. Sutherland. The men in Columbus, Kentucky. Foster. I’d outsmarted all of them or fought them off. They were all dead now. And none of them had managed to actually take me.

  It had been a drug that had undone me in the end. No matter how tough I was. No matter how well I could shoot. In the end, my own hormones only needed a good artificial kick to betray me.

  And it was all made worse by that fact. By the fact that I’d done it to myself, and there was no one to blame. Jude’s body had violated me, but it hadn’t been his fault, because my body had participated in it eagerly.

  But it had still been against my will. And now I was trapped in this car with him, and I couldn’t tell Jason, and I
wanted to die inside.

  “You two are both quiet,” said Jason. “I thought you were best buds. Or can’t you talk if I’m around?”

  “Jason.” I sighed. “Please don’t do that.”

  “Is something going on with you guys?” Jason said. “Boone was saying something like—”

  “What did Boone say?” My voice was sharp.

  “I don’t know. That you guys couldn’t work together or something?”

  Jude spoke up, his voice hoarse. “We’re fine. Boone was just upset. I thought he was talking about you and Azazel not working together, anyway.”

  “Right,” said Jason.

  “There isn’t anything to say,” I said.

  Jason opened his mouth to respond.

  But he was interrupted by the scream of sirens behind us. A police car surged up onto our bumper, lights flashing.

  “What the hell?” said Jude. “Were you speeding?”

  “I don’t think so,” said Jason. “Should I pull over?”

  “Maybe they don’t want us,” I said. “Maybe they just want to go by.”

  “I’m going to pull over,” Jason said. He eased the car over to the shoulder. There was hardly enough room to get completely off the road. There was a guardrail and a long drop off on the other side. It was too dark to see the bottom.

  The police car pulled over behind us.

  “This can’t be a good sign,” said Jason. “Maybe I should make a break for it.”

  “Tell them you’re FBI,” said Jude. That would mean you outrank them, right?”

  “I don’t know if they’ll buy it,” said Jason.

  And it was too late anyway, because there was someone knocking on Jason’s window, a flashlight in his hand.

  Jason rolled down the window. “There a problem, Officer?”

  “You bet there is,” said the officer. “You have any idea what the penalty is for impersonating an FBI agent?”

  Jason shot me a look.

  My heart leaped into my throat. How could he know we were faking?

  I guessed calling the actual FBI would probably clear that up. Shit.

  “I’m going to need you to get out of the car with your hands above your head,” said the officer.