The Pull of Destiny

by Hotcheri

  Who knows?

  Not once did I ever tell Luke how I still felt about him. I mean, he was dating Seiko and he was happy with her! Why should I throw a spanner in the works by asking him if he ever thought about us?

  Don’t be a hater, Celsi.

  So I kept my feelings to myself, hoping that one day we might get a second chance to make things work but knowing deep inside that it wasn’t going to be possible.

  Luke and I still talked constantly but I had all but forgotten our old promise to meet at Liberty Island in five years to open the time capsule when I got a short and simple email from him one random Tuesday morning.

  ‘Dear CiCi,

  Let’s meet on Saturday. Liberty Island at 4. Bring a shovel. Don’t be late.

  Luke.’

  That email was the reason I was on Liberty Island, shivering in my jacket as I patiently waited for Luke to show up, trying to keep the ‘he won’t show up’ thoughts at bay. I wasn’t late, even though I didn’t bring a shovel, (there is no way I could have gotten it past the security screening) not that we needed one since I had already located the capsule, but Luke was nowhere to be seen.

  Where is he?

  My mind kept coming up with various reasons as to why he still wasn’t here at 4.15.

  Did I read the time wrong in my excitement?

  That idea was quickly crossed off my mental list. In the days leading up to today, I read and reread that brief email, searching in between the lines for some hidden meaning, smiling at the ‘CiCi’ salutation... I was positive that he had written ‘4’, but just to be on the safe side, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the email again, nodding to myself.

  Yup. 4.

  Is he stuck in traffic?

  It was possible. After all, it was a Saturday and JFK was a busy airport. But I wasn’t too sure about that explanation. He would call if he was. Luke was just too courteous not to call.

  Maybe he changed his mind.

  That was the one my overactive imagination kept turning to and I couldn’t do anything about it. Sinking down onto a weathered bench, I turned the capsule around in my hands. So many memories...

  My mother’s locket. Rhea’s pencil. My lucky pencil.

  “If he’s not here in five minutes I’m opening it,” I said out loud, prompting an older couple to stare at me before muttering to each other under their breath.

  Five minutes stretched into ten and I started getting worried as another ferry landed and Luke wasn’t among the flurry of people that got off. Luke was never late for anything! That wasn’t his style. So did that mean that he was blowing me off?

  I shook my head vehemently, whipping my hair around my face.

  No. Wait it out.

  Where was my faith in Luke? He wouldn’t have fired off that email if he didn’t intend on showing up, right? Luke was a man of his word.

  Ten minutes turned into twenty-five and even I, Miss Optimistic, had to concede defeat. It was getting chillier by the second and Luke still wasn’t here. Maybe I should just open the capsule, take out my stuff and leave him a ‘Celsi was here’ note?

  Maybe he got sidetracked by Seiko.

  The instant that snide thought swooped into my head I felt embarrassed and rightfully so. What had Seiko ever done to me?

  Apart from steal your man, nothing.

  He wasn’t my man when they started dating though.

  But still!

  Shut up, mind.

  Yeah, five years on, I was still arguing with myself.

  Deciding that opening the capsule then catching the ferry and heading home was my best bet, I tried to unscrew the cap but failed. The mulch coating the capsule smeared on to my hands, making me groan.

  “Shoot,” I muttered, wiping my grubby hands on a Kleenex. Cracking my knuckles (maybe that would help) I tried to open the capsule again, this time gripping the bulk of it between my knees as I tried to twist the top off.

  A reproachful voice behind me exclaimed, “You’re opening the capsule without me?”

  “Luke!” My head turned so fast I got a kink in my neck, but that paled in comparison to seeing Luke for the first time in two years. My eyes widened as I took him in, flickering over every detail. The slight smile on his face. The way his hair was blowing in the stiff breeze.

  Stepping closer and taking advantage of my utter shock at seeing him in living color (even though I had been expecting him), Luke continued, “Where’s your faith in me, CiCi? Your trust? I can’t believe you were going to just open it alone!”

  “Well, considering that you’re almost half an hour late, do you blame me?” I countered smartly, my verbal paralysis breaking as I stood up, almost carelessly dropping the capsule on the bench. I was trying to act cool and seem like I was annoyed at him showing up late, when in reality I was so ecstatic to see him that if he had shown up two hours late, it would still be worth it. Five years on, you’re still whipped, Celsi. My heart skipped a beat as I looked up into Luke's familiarly handsome face. “You never used to be late for anything, so I-.”

  “Thought I wasn’t going to show?” he cut in, smirking as his eyes held mine.

  Grudgingly, I nodded, my lips twitching. “Precisely.”

  “My plane got delayed.” Luke spread his hands palm up as he explained earnestly. “I tried calling you but I kept going to your voicemail. So as soon as we landed I jumped in a cab and came straight here.”

  I’ve got to admit, I wasn’t really paying much attention to what he was saying. My focus was on his face, the way his lips moved when he talked, the way his eyes were filled with honesty as he spoke. Hey, it’s been two years since I last saw him; I’m allowed to get my ogle on, aren’t I? He looked good, healthy and fit.

  In a word, gorgeous.

  Sighing, I shook my head, fighting back a smile. I could never stay mad at Luke for long. It was just an impossible task. Just one puppy dog look from those green eyes and I melted. Dammit. “Alright, you’re forgiven for being late,” I said, rewarded by a big grin as he rubbed his hands together.

  “You damn right I am,” he said smugly, like he could tell that I was just pretending to be pissed at waiting for him. Right again, Luke. My breath hitched as he stepped closer, his eyes on my face as he looked down at me. “Now, do I get a hug or something?”

  That old, familiar feeling of comfort wafted through my body as Luke wrapped his arms around me, his breath warm against my neck. I hugged him back, feeling his heartbeat through our clothing as I inhaled the subtle scent of his cologne.

  Resting my head on his shoulder, I whispered, “I missed you.”

  More than you’ll ever know.

  “I missed you too,” he whispered back, pressing a kiss against my forehead as he stepped back, sliding his hands down my arms to clasp my hands in his. His eyes raked over my face, releasing a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. “You look really pretty with that hair.” I giggled as he breathed in, knowing exactly what he was up to. “And it still smells like strawberries. I love you for washing your hair with that shampoo!”

  My heart jumped in my chest as he said ‘I love you’. Don’t get me wrong, I knew what he meant, but some whimsical part of me couldn’t help hoping that maybe, just maybe, he meant it differently.

  Wishful thinking at its best.

  Swallowing nervously, I reluctantly took a step back, trying to put a little bit of space in between Luke and I. “Thanks.”

  “Do I look different?” he wanted to know, tilting his head to the side.

  Nodding, I replied, “You look a little more mature but overall, you’re the same old Luke in my book.”

  “I had a lot of growing up to do,” Luke said, biting his lip, lost in thought. The wind picked up speed, whistling through the leaves and he hugged himself. It was a chilly day, especially on the island, but Luke was simply dressed in a blue t-shirt and jeans. If I was cold in my jacket, just how cold was he? As if reading my mind, he went on to say, “It’s cold here. I left my jacket in
the cab.”

  Suddenly remembering that we were here to open the capsule, I said, “Do you want to open the capsule before it gets any colder?”

  Maybe Luke had someplace to be. I definitely didn’t want to be the person who made him late for whatever plans he had later on. We were here to do just one thing, no matter if I wanted to prolong it. It was high time we got a move on.

  “Well...” Luke started, his voice trailing off as he slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Looking uncharacteristically nervous, like he was sure I was going to say no to whatever he was suggesting, he continued. “CiCi- do you have any plans for tonight?”

  Now that was an unexpected question.

  I shook my head slowly, wondering if laying on the couch, watching ‘My Sisters Keeper’ with a big bowl of popcorn was considered ‘plans’. Because that was what I intended to do after we left Liberty Island. I never said my life was interesting. “No. I’m free all evening.”

  Well done. Now Luke knows what a sad life you lead.

  Seriously, it was Saturday in the Big Apple and I didn’t have a date. Well, I had a date with my PVR but let’s face it, TV is a poor substitute for a red-blooded male. How pathetic was I?

  Seeing Luke's face light up with my answer suddenly made me glad that I didn’t have plans for tonight.

  “Sweet! I was thinking that we could go for dinner and catch up, then head to the Empire State Building and open the capsule up there.” An eager expression flickered onto his face as he looked at me. “I don’t know about you, but the Empire State Building holds a special place in my heart.”

  I smiled at the force of his enthusiasm. He is just so cute! “Me too,” I admitted.

  “Do you want to have dinner with me?” Luke asked, an endearingly shy smile on his face as he scratched his cheek anxiously.

  The uncertainty in his voice tied my stomach into knots. “Do you even have to ask?”

  Of course I want to have dinner with you, you idiot!

  “Never assume anything because you just never know,” he said loftily, wagging his finger in my face.

  Giggling, I swatted it away. “I would love to have dinner with you, Luke,” I gushed, my voice tinged with sarcasm. “It would be an honor, my pleasure, the most exciting thing in-.”

  Luke's finger against my lips was more than enough stimulus to stop me from talking, right in the middle of an extremely sardonic monologue. My breath stuttered in my throat as he looked down at me, smirking.

  “I thought as much. I always could shut you up by doing this,” he snickered.

  Jerk.

  Restaurant.

  “So how long are you staying in New York for this time?”

  Luke and I were seated in an upscale restaurant in Manhattan. The music was low, the atmosphere was relaxed and best of all, it was just me and Luke. No Seiko, as I had originally assumed.

  Not to be mean, but thank God.

  I had nothing against Seiko (keep telling yourself that, Celsi) but every time Luke had visited, she had been stuck to him like glue. This was the first time in years that I was having some one-on-one face time with him and I was surprised at how quickly the conversation slipped into easy bantering mode, just like old days.

  I guess some things never change.

  Luke glanced up from his steak and wiped his mouth with a napkin before answering my question. “Indefinitely,” he replied casually, not knowing how close I was to jumping from my seat and doing a fist pump. Wait, how long was indefinitely? Please be forever! Even though I knew that I wouldn’t be seeing Luke every day if he lived in New York, at least he would be living in New York and not in Japan or England. “I’m here to launch my new foundation.”

  “Really? Good for you!” I caught myself smiling dotingly over the table at Luke and, mortified, stabbed at my salad. “Um- what’s the basis of your foundation?”

  Man, I needed to quit with the Luke adoration. Hopefully he didn’t notice. Yeah right. Luke noticed everything, especially me, when I was making a fool of myself over him.

  “Well, we’re dealing primarily with Medecins Sans Frontieres to provide better quality of life in places which have been hit hard by natural disasters. Like Haiti, New Zealand and Japan. We want to make sure that people have access to clean water, food, clothing, basic medical care and shelter.” Watching him speak, I realized that his vision meant a lot to him and I smiled. I guess he was no longer the shallow guy he never really wanted to be. Luke had definitely done some growing in the past few years. Running a hand through his hair, he grinned at me. “I figured I’ve got to use my trust fund money wisely. What do you think?”

  Speaking from the heart, I said, “If anyone can see this through, it’s you, Luke.”

  After all, I had witnessed firsthand the drive and determination he had shown while working on his bucket list. If anything, his foundation should be a walk in the park for him.

  “Thanks, CiCi,” he said gratefully, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. “I think it’s about time I started setting good examples for Faith. You know, since I’m her father figure and all.” His face grew thoughtful. “Although, I think she’s the one setting examples. You know what she did last week? Tossed all of her toys into boxes and asked Hope to take them to ‘that place I played when Luke was in hospital’.”

  My eyes widened. “The daycare?” I asked. Now I knew where all those almost new Barbie’s and toy cars came from! The new daycare administrator told me the box of toys had been a gift from a ‘mysterious benefactor’.

  “Yeah.” Luke nodded, grinning. “I’ve got a feeling that the new Astor generation is gonna prove to be beneficial in the charity sector.”

  As if just realizing that his hand was still covering mine, Luke hastily removed it, a flush staining his cheeks. Chewing thoughtfully on a tasty strip of chicken, I wondered why he looked so flustered. “How is Faith doing these days, anyway?” I asked, remembering the last time I had seen the adorable little brunette at her father’s funeral. Her big brown eyes had been filled with tears as she solemnly told me that her daddy wasn’t coming back. Her acceptance of the inevitability had nearly made me cry. Even at a young age, Faith had proved to be wise beyond her years.

  “Oh, my God, she’s such a sweetheart. She just turned ten a couple weeks ago and she’s the tallest kid in her class. I thought she was going to be a tiny terror for her entire life, but she just shot up all at once.” His eyes shone as he talked about his much loved little sister. “It was hard for her to deal with the fact that dad was gone at first, but she’s adjusting really well. She’s participating in the statewide spelling bee. I’m really proud of her.”

  “I know she’s probably excited that you’re coming back home. Are you going to move back into the penthouse?”

  Luke shook his head. “No, I want to get a small apartment. I’ve gotten so used to living by myself that moving back into the penthouse would probably drive me stir-crazy. Obviously, Hope would rather have me move back in, but I told her that I’m a grown man now and I want my freedom. Faith knows she’ll be welcome at my place whenever she wants.” A chuckle. “She’s waiting for me to pick a place so that she can come over and decorate her room.”

  “Just watch, she’ll be moving in before you know it,” I pointed out.

  Luke heaved a mock sigh. “I know, right?” He grinned. “Oh, well, I can always invite you over too, right? Have a play date or something.” As I tried to stop my mouth from falling open in surprise at his random way of inviting me over (or at least, that’s what I think he was doing) he continued. “She would totally love to see you again. You were her hero after my aneurysm thing, taking her to the daycare.”

  “I would love to see her again, too. We always had a bond.” I grinned cheekily across the table at Luke. “I guess it’s because we both had to deal with you.”

  Luke stuck his tongue out at me childishly. “So how about you? You settled into your new apartment yet?”

  “Yeah. It took
a while to get used to the new hood. I grew up in that building, my neighbors were like my family, so it was a difficult change to make.”

  “Wasn’t easy for Aunt Kelly too, huh?” Luke asked, tapping his chin.

  I nodded. “She didn’t want to leave our old apartment, but I wasn’t going anywhere without her,” I told him, smiling slightly as I remembered how difficult it had been to get her into the cab to drive over to our new place.

  “How’s she doing?”

  Tucking an errant wisp of hair behind my ear, I said, “She’s good. Doesn’t work that much these days, which is good. So she has more time to catch up on her movies and soapies.”

  “That’s good. You’re pretty awesome, taking care of her like that.” I glowed at the compliment from Luke as he continued. “How about Enrique? How’s he doing?”

  I quickly filled Luke in on my strengthening relationship with my father, telling him about the wedding and how I was the bridesmaid. “And it’s all thanks to you,” I enthused, gazing at Luke while trying to keep my admiration of him in check. “If you hadn’t found him for me, things would have been so different.”

  “You deserved to know him,” Luke shrugged self-depreciatingly, like he hadn’t done anything special. “I mean, he needed to know that he had a daughter and after what you went through with Nate...” His voice trailed off and he looked at me musingly. “Speaking of Nate, what happened with him?”

  Letting out a deep breath, I stared at the spotless cream tablecloth. “Well, after his six month stint in jail, he went to rehab for a month. Court ordered. After that, he was on probation for three years. Went to college and got a diploma in Community Counseling. He works at AA now.”

  Surprise mingled with admiration flitted onto Luke's face and I had to smile. Doubtless he was expecting that I would say something negative about how Nate had managed to run his life into the gutter after his prison release. In all honesty, sometimes I was surprised that Nate had dusted himself off, turned over a new leaf and was now helping people with the same problems as he had once had. After I got back from my summer vacation in Los Angeles, Nate had requested to meet with me, talk and apologize for everything, including blaming me for Rhea’s death. It took me a while to forgive him (how do you just erase years of physical abuse?) but after seeing how intent he was on turning his life around and making things better, I started rooting for him. He went back to his old girlfriend, Tori, who was now pregnant with his child.