The Pull of Destiny

by Hotcheri

  Quickly, CiCi shook her head, sending her bouncy curls flying. “Don’t say that,” she admonished.

  “I mean it, though,” I said, squeezing her hands. “You came into my life at the perfect time and I just- I don’t even know what to say, CiCi.” I sucked in a breath. “You’re just- I need you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  CiCi closed her eyes for a second, her long eyelashes fluttering. “Don’t you get why I’m skeptical, though? How long has it been since you and I actually dated?”

  “Five years,” I admitted. Okay, that was a long time. But it didn’t matter. Only our feelings mattered, and if I was right, CiCi felt the same way I did. She was just more scared, is all. “But-.”

  “Luke- we’ve grown up. We’re adults.” A bitter smile twisted her lips. “Don’t confuse the puppy love we had for something it will never be. We haven’t ever hung out as adults. As much as I want to-.” She shook her head again, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Luke, it won’t be the same. It can’t be the same.”

  I wasn’t trying to hear that. “You know perfectly well that what we had wasn’t puppy love, Celsi,” I said softly, dropping her hands and tucking my finger under her chin as I stepped closer to her. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel anything when I touch you.” I cupped her cheek with one hand, feeling her shiver slightly under my touch. “When I kiss you.”

  My heart thumped as I leaned down to kiss CiCi’s full lips, ignoring the stunned look in her eyes as my nose brushed hers. Her lips tasted of watermelon chap stick and I gently brushed them with my own, re-exploring her warm, wet mouth. She tasted so good, just as I remembered. I traced her parted lips with my tongue, running a hand through her soft, curly hair as I felt her kiss me back. Her lips worked over mine, our breath intermingling as we gave in to our pent up passion. When she drew back, CiCi looked dazed, eyes glazed over and breathing labored as we shared air in the small space between us. My eyes unflinchingly bored into hers.

  “Luke-,” she started, still trying to get her piece in.

  Trailing a finger down her cheek, I whispered, “I love you. And of course it won’t be the same, because we’re older. It’ll be better.”

  “I don’t think-.”

  Okay, I really didn’t like interrupting CiCi every time she tried to say something, but I couldn’t help myself. I knew she was just trying to find excuses to shut me up, and I simply wasn’t going to have it. “Did you ever stop loving me?”

  CiCi swallowed hard, her eyes dropping from my gaze. She didn’t answer.

  “Because I never did,” I continued. “Why do you think Seiko left?”

  Whispering, CiCi asked, “Why?”

  “Because you were all I could talk about and it drove her crazy. She didn’t want to compete.”

  Shaking her hair out of her eyes, CiCi said, “She was competing with your memories of me, not the real me.”

  “Why do you keep saying that?” I asked, totally not getting her logic. “Who did I have hour long conversations with almost every day for the last three years? You or your 17 year old self?”

  A tiny smile turned up her pretty lips and I had the urge to kiss her again. “Me.”

  “Exactly. You.”

  I pressed my mouth against hers again, licking her plump bottom lip as she sensuously sucked on my top lip in perfect harmony.

  Pulling back, she stammered, “But why didn’t you tell me? All these years- think of how much better it would have been!” Her eyes searched my face, confusion rampant. “I mean, you dated Seiko for years! Why did you do that if you knew you still had feelings for me?”

  “I hooked up with Seiko to get my mind off of you. Off of our breakup, which really, really hurt.” Leaning forward, I pressed my forehead against hers, relishing our close proximity. “More than anybody knows. All I wanted to do was get on a plane and come back to you, but since I couldn’t, I tried to move on.” I sighed at all the repressed memories. “I really liked Seiko, but I knew she wasn’t the one for me. We were just together because we felt comfortable with each other and we got along, but it wasn’t like we envisioned a long future with each other. Or at least, that’s what I thought.” I bit my lip, staring at a rapt CiCi pensively. “Then you hooked up with Ahmed and- the jealousy that I felt scared the hell out of me. I always knew he liked you, but I just tried to ignore it. Never thought he would act on it. But at the same time, I wanted you to be happy; even though I was positive you would be way happier with me. So I didn’t say anything. After you guys broke up, I wanted to let you know how I felt, but you were on that ‘I’m focusing on school right now’ tip, so I didn’t want to be the one to screw you up.” My voice rose and fell as I let CiCi in on my deepest and darkest feelings. “Sometimes I almost wished I could hate you because it would make things easier for me. But I can't, so I've just gone on pathetically loving you and hoping that someday things could work out between us. And now here we are, five years down the line. And I still feel the same.”

  Running both hands through her hair, CiCi remarked, “You could have just told me that you still loved me, that would have gotten your point across better than this.”

  “Doesn’t really matter.” I shrugged, a dismissive tone in my voice. “I still want to marry you. I don’t care if we get married tomorrow or next year or in 20 years, as long as I know that it’s gonna happen and I’ll always be with you.” Cupping her face in my hands, I continued. “I want to have one of those relationships where we’re 80 years old and still goofing off to make each other laugh.”

  CiCi blinked, sighing as a dreamy expression flitted onto her face. “I always wanted that, too.”

  “Well, we can have that, Celsi.” I stared into her beautiful eyes. “Say yes.”

  Laughing uneasily, CiCi exclaimed, “Luke, you can’t just pop up and ask me to marry you like this! We need some kind of foundation first! How can this even work?”

  “You know what my dad said to me before he died?” I started, my face and voice solemn. I had never told anyone what I was about to divulge to CiCi before. “He called me when I was in Japan and told me ‘if you know what's good for you, you won’t ever let Miss Sawyer go. The girl you’re dating right now is nice and all, but Miss Sawyer is the one you’re destined to be with. You’ll see.’”

  Eyes wide, CiCi breathed, “He said that?”

  “Yup.” I nodded. “And he was a business man, so you know his judgment was spot on.”

  Musingly, CiCi looked up at me and my heart did a little flip at the hesitant look in her eyes. She looked like she was starting to believe what I had been telling her about my feelings for her. “He once said I was the best decision you made in years.”

  A reluctant grin slid onto my face. He may be gone, but the old man was still calling the shots, it seemed. And in this case, I didn’t mind at all. “He was so right. And letting you go was the worst. Look, I know I came on a little too strong with the marriage thing, but I would be lying if I said that didn’t want that to happen eventually.” I smiled hopefully down at her, praying that she would say yes. “Not now, if you’re not ready. But I do intend on making you Mrs. Celsiana Sawyer.” I reached into the pocket of my jeans and brought out the Tiffany’s box again. “So will you wear this ring until that day comes? Please?”

  Celsi’s Point of view.

  I looked down at the open ring box in Luke's hand, then looked up at him, my mind still reeling from the admissions we had both made tonight. His face was open, eyes as vulnerable as I’d ever seen them, and I suddenly realized that he was telling the truth.

  No gimmicks.

  His feelings hadn’t changed during the time we had been apart, just like mine hadn’t changed. He was still in love with me. And I had known that all along, even though I had tried to hide it from myself.

  There’s nothing hidden under the sun, Celsi.

  But some incessant part of me just wouldn’t let me let Luke's proposal be great. It was like
I had a split personality that enjoyed playing devil’s advocate until the bitter end.

  It can’t work! He doesn’t even know the most basic things about you, Celsi!

  “You don’t even know when my birthday is,” I mumbled, knowing that the devil’s advocate voice had a valid point.

  Spreading his arms, Luke said, “I know that you read romances and wish you could be the heroine, even though you’ve never told anyone that before. I know you love drinking hot chocolate with loads of tiny marshmallows because it reminds you of your mom and happier times. I know that whenever you sit at the piano and play, you’re transported to your own little world.”

  Luke said all of this with the cutest half-smile on his face that pulled at my heartstrings, gazing down at me as my eyebrows rose in amazement.

  “You seriously know all those things?” I gasped, my eyes filling with tears.

  Nodding, Luke said, “I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know more about what makes you tick, about your little quirks, whether you bite off the head or the body when you eat gummy bears, if you just say yes.”

  Blinking back tears, I nodded, throwing caution to the wind. I loved Luke, nobody could compare to him. There was no need for a lengthy battle of reason because I knew what was right. Me and Luke, together forever. That was right. That was how it was supposed to be.

  “Yes.”

  Luke's eyes narrowed, staring at me as though he couldn’t quite believe his ears. Or his eyes. “Really?” he murmured, tugging a hand through his windswept hair.

  “Yes, silly. I love you. And I’m saying yes.”

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him, my lips gentle against his as I took my time tasting him, his tongue slipping into my mouth to entangle with mine.

  Breathing hard, Luke pulled back, a triumphant look gleaming in his green eyes. “July 7th,” he whispered.

  Feeling dazed from the kiss, his words made no sense to me. “What?”

  “July 7th. That’s your birthday, isn’t it, future Mrs. Celsi Astor?”

  My heart almost jumped into my mouth at that double whammy. He remembered my birthday! And dammit if Mrs. Celsi Astor didn’t sound perfect. “Yes Luke, it is,” I whispered against his lips, feeling so happy that I wanted to sing.

  Somehow, I don’t think anybody wants to hear that. Even my future husband.

  “I love you, Celsi Sawyer.”

  Smiling deliriously up at him, I was rewarded with an equally elated smile back. Luke's dimples popped into view as I whispered, “I love you, Luke Astor.”

  His arms slipped around my waist and he held me close. Suddenly, I heard a loud, popping sound and the sky above us was illuminated with bright, colorful light. Glancing up, I saw a huge firework display going off in the distance.

  “Perfect view, right?” Luke asked, his lips by my ear as he turned me to face the fireworks.

  He sounded so proud of himself that I didn’t even have to ask, but I did anyway, largely because it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t. “You planned this, didn’t you?”

  “Guilty,” he whispered, dropping soft kisses on the nape of my neck as I shivered. “Do you like it?”

  Twisting my head to look at him, I smiled giddily, my head in the clouds. “I love it.”

  There was no need for more words as we listened to the soft breeze rustling overhead and I finally realized that our destiny had been fulfilled. Our path had been heartbreakingly difficult, filled with devastating twists, miserable turns and unforeseeable potholes but somehow we had managed to pass every single obstacle to get to where we were right now- happy, content and so deeply in love that it hurt. And now I knew why. It had been meant to turn out like this because it was written in the stars that shone above us...

  Fin.

  14th April 2009- 4th July 2011