Essence Of The Heart (The Royal Tutor)

by Daris Howard

  After the last child was gone, Alexander reached in the bag and pulled out the last stick. He handed it to her and smiled. She looked at it suspiciously. He laughed. "It's good. Just lick it."

  She tasted it, and her mouth danced. As she licked at it again and again, he grinned. "A trader from the east taught me how to make it from cream and honey. He called it 'honey candy'." Louise could never remember eating anything so good. She could easily have eaten many more, but she realized how selfish that thought was since Alexander hadn't even saved one for himself, even though he surely must have been starving. As they mounted and turned toward Denville Castle, everyone came out, shouting goodbye. Louise looked back to see the small, blonde girl poking her head out from the skirts of the old woman who had been the recipient of the chicken. The little girl waved shyly, and Louise could again feel the tears fighting their way to the surface.

  As they plodded on in silence, she finally had to ask the questions tugging at her heart.

  "Alexander, those children knew you would have that candy for them, didn't they?"

  He nodded. "It all started with Nell, the little girl that came first. She is my favorite. Both of her parents were killed in a horrible accident. I tried to talk to her, but she just wanted to hide from me. I found out she hasn't talked since the day of the accident. So, one day, I pulled out a piece of candy to give to her. I told her she was beautiful, and I loved her, and that was what the candy meant. Pretty soon I was giving it to all of the children. I've just started bringing it every time I come, and they know I'll have it. I enjoy doing it at many of the towns I visit."

  "Do you visit lots of towns?" Louise asked.

  "As many as I can," he replied.

  They rode on in silence for a long time, but the events of the day kept gnawing at Louise until she asked some more questions.

  "Alexander, who is the old lady she is with?"

  "That is her grandmother. I've thought of seeing if Nell could come live at the castle, but they're all each other has in the world, and her grandmother would never leave the mountain."

  Louise found herself troubled by what had happened with the children. She wanted so desperately to hate Alexander that anything that drew her feelings in another direction bothered her. She worked hard to put it from her mind, but it was impossible as she sucked on the sweet candy he had given her. As they came down off of the mountain to a point where she could see the castle in the far-distance, she realized how hungry she was.

  She reached in her saddle bags and pulled out the dried food Alexander had packed for her. As she bit in to a piece of cheese, she suddenly realized how hungry Alexander must be. Due to her callousness he had had nothing but water all day. The thought made the cheese swell in her throat, and she choked.

  Alexander stopped his horse. "Are you all right?"

  Louise regained her composure. "I'm fine. Continue on."

  She ate all the food and was still hungry, and though it looked like the castle was very near, it never seemed to get any closer. It was almost dark when they finally arrived. Everyone had eaten long before, but it only took a moment for a meal to be set before them. As they ate, she stewed about the events of the day. Her emotions confused her. She tried to dull the discontent in her heart by telling everyone, servants and nonservants alike, the story of the chicken, even as Alexander quietly ate at the same table. It didn't seem to take away her mixed-up feelings, but it changed the subject. All who heard it seemed less than excited at her attempts to humiliate Alexander.

  After eating, they retired to their rooms. She had to relate the whole chicken episode to her ladies-in-waiting. Their laughs seemed forced, which annoyed her further. She was tired from the long ride, and had barely laid down in her bed before she was fast asleep. She slept deeply, but as morning came around, she started to dream.

  She dreamed a dragon held her prisoner. It snorted its stinking breath into her face. Its breath smelled fermented, as if it had been drinking wine. It made high-pitched squealing and grunting sounds as it belched. When she awoke, she found herself looking directly into the face of a pig.

  She let out a scream; the drunken pig squealed and ran around her bedroom, knocking a pitcher of water to the floor, breaking it into shards. She stood up on her bed and continued to scream, and the pig continued to squeal and run, knocking over lanterns, furniture, and the wash basin. Elizabeth and Marina came running.

  There was a large chair pulled in front of the doorway to her room, which blocked the pig's escape. The commotion brought servants and others quickly from every direction. Elizabeth and Marina called some servants to help pull the chair from in front of the doorway. The pig scrambled through, and they chased it as it continued squealing and grunting around the sitting room. Finally it saw the open door to the hall and headed through it.

  As Louise continued to stand on her bed, trembling, Alexander appeared in the doorway. He leaned casually against the wall, grinning. "Relative of yours come to call?"

  She was so angry and scared she could hardly speak. "How, what..."

  Alexander stroked his chin thoughtfully. "That thing must have gotten into the same marinating sauce as the chicken."

  She screamed and threw her pillow at him. He ducked, and the pillow flew past him and landed at the feet of Elizabeth and Marina, who were standing behind him in the sitting room. Alexander just turned and bowed slightly to them. "Ladies," he said. Then he exited the room. Louise's ear-piercing scream followed him far down the hallway.

  She was so angry that she could hardly taste her breakfast. The news of the pig was all around the castle long before she left her room. She had to sit at the same table as Alexander, with his serene smile. The food tasted like sand as she chewed on her anger. Duke Reginald and Lady Margaret sat quietly as if not knowing quite what to do. If she told them what Alexander had done, she knew they would have to punish him, but it was humiliating to mention it after the many pranks she had played on him. He had finally played one on her and she had lost control of herself.

  She stormed from the dining room, determined that whatever she did to him next was going to be the best of the best. She was going to get him good in whatever he took pride in most. As she trudged back to her room, she wondered how he had gotten that horrible beast in there without her knowing it. Obviously he had gotten it drunk, but how did he drag it in? He must be stronger than she thought.

  She paced back and forth in her living quarters. She had to have the right event and the perfect timing. Once, Lady Marina came in, but, with one vicious glance from Louise, she quickly retreated to the safety of the hallway. When a plan finally came to Louise, she knew it was the most perfect of all perfect plans, and she smiled to herself as she prepared to implement it.

  Chapter 5

  The Perfect Plan That Went Wrong And Made Things Right

  Above all, Alexander loved horses and prided himself on his horsemanship. Louise decided she would embarrass him in front of a lot of important people. Her own father and mother were coming for her eighteenth birthday celebration, and they were bringing with them the most notable people of the country. The eighteenth birthday was the biggest event in a girl's life, especially for a princess. She would then be seen as eligible for marriage.

  On that day all the noblemen were supposed to ride with the hounds. That would be the day she would totally humiliate Alexander.

  She planned it carefully. Alexander truly was an expert horseman. She ordered one of her reluctant ladies-in-waiting to distract Alexander while she planted a burr under Lady's saddle. It was a major undertaking, because Alexander never let anyone touch Lady's gear, not even his most trusted servants. Louise had to do it after he had already saddled her. She had to take the saddle off, plant the bristly burr, and resaddle her before he came back.

  It worked like a charm. All of the great men of the country gathered around and began to mount. Alexander had no sooner swung up into the saddle than Lady went crazy. Alexander was jolted this way and th
at, and eventually landed flat in the mud in his best riding suit. The other men laughed and ridiculed him until she almost felt ashamed of herself... almost.

  As bad as that was, Alexander was especially upset when he found the burr. He treated Lady with such gentleness. He was far more concerned with the mistreatment she had endured than the abuse he had taken. He didn't even question who had done it. There seemed to be no doubt in his mind.

  As he turned to look at Louise, it was the first time she could remember he wasn't smiling. She saw an expression on his face that wiped the smile from her own and made her cringe. Sensing his disapproval, she found herself shrinking into the shadows to hide. Never before had she felt his condemnation.

  She tried to think she had gotten the best of him, though in reality she was feeling the same disdain for her own actions that she sensed from him. He still acted the gentleman; but as gracious and refined as Alexander was, he was not above getting even.

  After the men returned, it was time for her banquet and ball. Dressed in her favorite gown, she cut through the courtyard, as she often did. She much preferred this route instead of following the maze through the castle, and Alexander knew it. As she approached the banquet hall, with Marina and Elizabeth not far behind, a bucket of murky mop water doused her from the balcony above. She glowered up through her drenched locks in time to see Alexander dart back into the shadows. Enraged, she flew up the stairs, leaving Elizabeth and Marina behind, only to find a flustered cleaning woman. The frightened woman said Alexander had asked her to retrieve something he had forgotten, and, when she returned, she found him gone and her water bucket empty.

  Louise was about to take her rage out on the poor woman when Alexander came to the woman's rescue. Eyeing Louise's dripping appearance, he smiled mischievously at her. "My, my," he chided, "how a person won't dress for a banquet when they want a little attention."

  The confused servant was forgotten as Louise flew at Alexander, scratching and kicking, only to have Duke Reginald, Lady Margaret, and her own parents appear. She was so embarrassed that she wished the earth would just open up and swallow her.

  Her father, humiliated and enraged, commanded her to stand forth, and she did so, dripping and dirty.

  "Louise, you will go to your room, and stay there the whole evening. You can just forget about your banquet and royal ball."

  It was then that Alexander's actions shocked her. Knowing full well what punishment would surely befall him, he knelt and begged in Louise's behalf.

  "Your Majesty, the fault is mine, not the princess's. I provoked her and it is my fault she is wet. I beg you not to lay the blame on her, but the punishment should be mine alone."

  Suddenly, Louise was frightened for Alexander. The feeling stunned her. She was surprised that she cared. But she knew her father would surely order him to be whipped. She was so frightened she couldn't move or speak.

  The anger shown in her father's face. "How dare you disrespect the princess! You shall be whi...."

  As her father started to give the command that Alexander was to be whipped, Louise's mother grabbed his arm and beckoned him aside. With the moment's reprieve, Louise's mind was reeling. She had never seen anyone stand up with such courage to her father, and especially not for her. What would she do if Alexander was whipped? Many men never fully recovered from a whipping, and some even died. She knew that she was at least as much to blame as he was.

  She tried again and again to tell herself that he deserved it, but, for the first time, her heart refused to accept her lie. She prayed that her mother could prevail with her father. She saw the concern on Duke Reginald's face, and could hear Lady Margaret crying. They both feared the inevitable.

  After several agonizing minutes, her father stepped forward. Trying to hold back his anger, he announced, "We are not going to delay the banquet for the recklessness and brashness of youth. It is not the fault of the guests, and the dinner must go forward. Knowing my daughter's temperament, I will not hold you fully responsible, nor will I have you whipped, but that does not excuse such behavior. You will escort her back to her chamber, and escort her back to the ball after she is appropriately attired. And you can go hungry until after it is all over."

  Alexander bowed. "Yes, Your Majesty."

  "From now on, you had better understand that she is the princess and treat her as such; and you had better learn your place, or I will more than have you whipped. Is that understood?"

  "Yes, Your Majesty."

  The king waved his hand. "Escort her to her room now, before I change my mind!"

  Alexander rose to escort Louise back to her room. Louise looked at her mother's tear-stained face. She knew her mother liked Alexander, and she could only imagine how she must have begged in his behalf. As they turned to leave, her father called after them.

  "And, one more thing, young man."

  Alexander turned back to face him and bowed. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

  "This is not over yet!"

  Alexander bowed again. "Yes, Your Majesty."

  The king frowned. "You may go now."

  Alexander bowed again, and turned to walk with Louise to her quarters. They were silent for much of the way. Finally, she spoke to him. "You didn't have to stand up for me."

  Alexander was somber as he answered. "I couldn't let you take the blame for something that was my fault."

  "So what? I would have missed a ball. You could have been whipped. That is far worse."

  "But it would not have been right. Besides, no girl should miss her eighteenth birthday ball."

  To Alexander there was always a right and a wrong, and he lived his life that way, no matter the consequences. She found herself in awe of this young man that she had so desperately tried to hate all of her life. He was, in so many ways, the kind of person she wanted to be, but was not. Perhaps that was why she had hated him, or maybe there was even more. She tried to push it from her mind.

  They arrived at her door. Alexander bowed, refusing to lift his eyes. "I truly am sorry, Princess, for what I did to you. It was a horrible thing, and I am ashamed of myself. I was just so angry when you hurt Lady. She is the only real and lasting friend I have ever had, besides my parents."

  Alexander's voice quivered as he spoke, and Louise felt even more ashamed. Alexander would not have done anything if she had just humiliated him, but his anger was because of Lady. His words struck an all-too-familiar chord with her as well. The court was not a place where one usually has deep and abiding friendships. It was looked upon with great disdain if a person of nobility befriended servants, and those of nobility came and went with such frequency that a long-lasting friendship was never possible.

  Though Alexander was loved by all, in many ways he was still lonely. She was acquainted with loneliness as well. She had had more chances than anyone to really being a friend to Alexander, and all she had done was to treat him with spite. But why? The callouses around her heart started to soften, and she started to look deep within herself for answers.

  She wished she could apologize to him; to tell him how sorry she was for her actions; how sorry she was for hurting Lady, and to let him know she didn't blame him for his actions against her. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Her pride would still not allow her to admit fault, thus her sorrow went unspoken, and what should have been said went unsaid.

  He would not look at her, but kept his eyes lowered and turned away. He bowed as he opened the door for her, making her wince. She felt Alexander should not be bowing to her, but she knew that was truly what was expected of him, as she was more nobly born than he was. He bowed again as she entered her room. "Ready yourself for the ball, Your Highness, and I will return. There is something I must do."

  With that he disappeared down the darkened hall. She watched after him, then closed the door. She knew she must hurry, but the nagging in her heart slowed her every movement as she thought more deeply about her actions than she had in a long time.

  He had only addressed her as "Pr
incess" and "Your Highness". She knew that was what her father meant when he said Alexander needed to learn his place, but somehow it was all wrong. For weeks he had ridden with her - had been there to escort her, even though she had harassed him. Yet he almost always called her Louise, and had since they were children. "Louise" sounded so warm and friendly when he said it, and she had not realized how much she liked it. But "Princess", or "Your Highness", sounded so cold and detached.

  But wasn't that what she wanted? Hadn't she tried all these years to crush him, to destroy his confidence; to, in essence, turn him into nothing but a lowly servant? Her heart quivered at the realization that, in that moment, what her father had accomplished with Alexander was what she had been truly trying to do for years. And now she didn't want it. She wondered if she would ever hear him address her by her name again.

  She shed her dirty clothes and filled a wash basin. She scrubbed thoroughly, rinsing her hair twice to get all of the grime out. She had no sooner donned a new dress, than there was a knock at the door. She opened it just a crack. There stood Alexander. Opening the door wider, she motioned him in.

  He still would not look at her directly, but kept his eyes lowered and averted. He again bowed and pulled from his coat a flask and a small, stuffed pillowcase. "I got you some food, Your Highness."

  His bowing and calling her "Your Highness" made her gulp a couple of deep breaths. He now seemed distant and reserved. That was not what she wanted - not now. In that instant he had stood up for her to her father, everything had changed. Now she wanted him to be the one thing she had never allowed before - she wanted him to be her friend.

  He continued on. "It isn't much. I could only sneak some soft rolls, a little cheese, roast pork, and a flask of grape juice, but I hope it will be filling to you."

  "You shouldn't have," she said. "You could have gotten in big trouble. You know what my father said."