gifted

by Charmaine Ross

  He waited until I nodded. He gently pulled the sheet from my legs, manipulating the end of the robe to cover me as the sheet moved. As he leaned over me, his scent, warm, male, and spicy, enveloped me.

  “Now I’m going to slip your feet to the floor then slide my hand under your knee. Ready?”

  I nodded, tensing as he slid his fingers between the back of my knee and the bed. He was gentle. Nonsexual. He touched me only as he needed to, keeping his movements slow and measured.

  “Lean into me. Let me take your weight.” He placed my arm around his shoulder and helped me to my feet. I groaned as my body adjusted to take my weight. Dull pain echoed from my feet, up my legs. Deep cuts and dark bruises made my feet swollen and disfigured after a night of walking barefoot through the city streets.

  “Do you need to sit?”

  I shook my head, my body stiffening. “No. I’m okay. I can walk myself.”

  When he looked at me, doubt colored his eyes. “You’re very weak. I’m amazed you have the energy to stand, although I’m guessing sheer determination is the only thing keeping you going at the moment. As much as I am delighted you are conscious, I don’t want to go through the past three days again because of your stubbornness.”

  “Three days?” I’d been out for three days. Knocked out, exhausted. The use of my energy had taken much more of a toll than I’d known. It was stronger, but the effects hit hard, too.

  “I’m going to pick you up and take you into the bathroom. Just relax.”

  I was too shocked to utter a sound as he swept me into his arms as though I weighed nothing. Julius settled me back onto my feet. I swayed, but his arm around my waist kept me from falling. “I’ll bathe you.”

  I shook my head. “No, I ... I’ll do it myself. Please, I ... I need to.” I pulled the robe tight about me. I needed space to process what had happened to me, where I was now, and why he seemed so hell-bent on helping me. Why was he being so ... gentle? Caring? For what purpose? I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

  There had to be a reason, and although it wasn’t obvious at the moment, I knew there would be one. I would find it. It would only be a matter of time.

  “This is against my better judgment, but all right. I’ll be in the next room should you have any difficulties.” The door closed softly behind him.

  I started to tremble. Tension I didn’t know I held on to poured from me, making me weak. My legs felt as though they weren’t going to hold my weight. I grabbed the side of the sink with both hands, dragging in deep lungfuls of air, waiting for the lightheadedness to pass.

  I tipped my head back, blinking my vision into focus when I saw a face staring back. My heart launched into my throat. My first thought was that there was someone in here. I turned, and something pulled me back to look at the face. When my mouth fell open, so did hers.

  There wasn’t someone else in the room. I was looking into a mirror. It was my reflection, but that wasn’t me. It ... wasn’t ... couldn’t be ... me.

  I put my hand to my face, my hand shaking. Barely breathing.

  I wasn’t me staring back. My cheeks sunk beneath prominent cheekbones and hollowed out eyes. My skin was so thin, I could see the tiny webbed capillaries over my face. Limp hair was plastered over my head so thick with dirt and God-knew-what, it was no more than a scraggly mess.

  I opened the robe, slowly pulling apart the material, my attention riveted to the grotesque apparition in the mirror. My skin stretched over jutting bones, each joint looking as though it would poke through my parchment skin. My breast bones stuck out in sharp ripples on my upper chest. I had no breasts to speak of. Skin ripped over jagged ribs, and my arms were frail twigs that looked like they could snap in two. My hips protruded around a sunken stomach that could have touched my spine. My legs were nothing more than stick-thin appendages.

  I looked like a walking skeleton. One of the living dead. No wonder Julius had been so surprised when he woke me. He had woken the dead. It was a miracle I had survived.

  I heard a strangled sound, realizing I was the one that was making it. My eyes filled with hot tears. I wiped my face clear with a jerky hand. I was not me anymore. I was gone, replaced with something else entirely.

  I needed to wash it all away. The dried sweat, the gritty grime from my body, wash away everything I’d been through. All I’d seen. What I was. I wished I could wash away everything I’d done. All of the evils I’d committed. But nothing would wash that away. Nothing as simple as water would make me ever forget.

  I let the robe drop to the floor and wobbled into the shower. When I stepped into the cubicle, a nozzle extended out of the wall in front of me and showered me with soft drops of warm water. A panel wide enough to fit my fingertip appeared beneath the nozzle, the light shimmering from blue to red. That must be for the water temperature, but it had been perfect as soon as it started so I didn’t attempt to change it. I shut my eyes, enjoying the feeling of bliss. I found some peace behind closed lids and warm soap. The fragrance of vanilla filled my senses. I washed off the capsule they’d taken me from, the unholy sleep they’d put me in, the memory of Seth and the lingering menace of his threat. The question of how he’d found me in that back alley. The frightening reality of what that might mean.

  I rinsed my hair through again and again, ridding myself of the dirt of the basement where they had first taken me years ago. Washed off the hands of the men who had beaten me and made me try to do things I didn’t want to do, things I never wanted to face again.

  I leaned on the shower wall and let the water run over my body, panting with effort. My forehead was pressed against the cool tiles, absorbing the heat of my skin. My limbs trembled. I braced myself against the wall and closed my eyes.

  But when I did that, I felt. I tried to keep my emotions locked in that safe place inside of me, but I couldn’t muster the energy to knock them back down when they rose. A deep sob tore upward, crashing through me. It broke from my mouth. Another followed, and then the tide defeated me.

  “Bring her in.” Victor’s black eyes gleamed as he said it. I had always wondered about his eyes. They were so dark that the pupil bled seamlessly into the iris so that it appeared there was no color at all. Just huge black eyes that held too little emotion. Too much madness.

  It was a madness that only I seemed to see. The other scientists didn’t notice. Or if they did, they didn’t show their abhorrence. I couldn’t help the shiver that slithered through my body every time he turned those eyes to me.

  The other scientists didn’t seem to have the same insane streak in their gazes. When they looked at me, their eyes were just blank. They had protected themselves. They didn’t see me anymore, the person. They saw the experiment. The lump of meat. The science.

  A guard came into the room, dragging a thin woman through with a rough tug. Her blonde hair hung limply over her face, and she kept her face downcast. Her clothes were tattered, dirty, and stained with blood. The way her shoulders sloped and her stance cringed told me they’d already broken her. Poor, bloody woman.

  She lifted her head, confused eyes locked on me and instantly cleared. “Katia!”

  Nausea ripped through my body. I struggled against my bindings, but they didn’t budge. “Let her go. Now. She’s innocent.”

  “Of course I can let her go. Now, if you want it, but it will be up to you if I do. All you have to do is do as I ask. Show the many talents I know are locked in that pretty little body, and she will be set free.”

  I wanted to rip free of the bindings, claw Victor’s eyes out of his face, tear his heart out of his body, if he even had one.

  “No, Katia. You can’t.” Tears slid down Heather’s face, streaking through the dirt. By the look of her, she’d already been through so much. She couldn’t take more.

  “I can’t let them do what they’ll do to you, Heather. You don’t know what they’re fully capable of.”

  A collective tension rode the air as the scientists in the room expected to see what th
ey’d tried to make me do for the last year.

  “They can do whatever they want to me, but you can’t give in. Not now. You’ve come too far, fought too long to give in now.”

  “You don’t know what you’re saying,” I said.

  Heather stood straight, tossing her head back, tilting her chin up. This was the defiant Heather I knew and loved. The Heather that was going to give herself up for me, the Heather that knew what they would do and didn’t cave in. “I know what I’m saying. And I know what you need to do.”

  “I don’t deserve this,” I whispered.

  She shook her head. “No. You deserve so much more. You’re destined for so much more. Don’t give in. There will come a time when you can defeat him. You will be the only person who can. He’s evil. He’ll take over the world. You’re the only person who might be able to stop him. Me? I’m nothing. But you ... you’re strong.”

  “No, Heather. I’m not strong. I can end this for you!”

  “Don’t you dare give in! Don’t you make this a waste. I won’t forgive you if you do.”

  Victor made an impatient sound. He motioned to the guard who slammed Heather into a chair and bound her to it. All the time I kept her gaze locked with mine. Tried to give her the strength she would need, all the while knowing it would never be enough. Tried to stop the tide of tears that streamed down my cheeks. I didn’t want them to do this to my precious friend. She was wrong about me. So wrong.

  Victor leaned against the wall, arms crossed, “You can stop this, Katia.” He sounded bored. The desire to use my thought-energy and lash it out at all of them was beyond temptation, but I knew that meant the end of what I had fought for so long and also the end of Heather’s life. They had no intention of letting her go. The only thing I was sure of was, if I used my thought-energy, her death would come sooner. I could save her the pain of what was to come.

  “I can’t do what you want me to. Stop hurting Heather. Please, I can’t do what you want me to do.” I sobbed.

  “Don’t you dare,” Heather hissed between clenched teeth.

  “You just need to concentrate. Try harder, Katia. Begin,” Victor said.

  I crumpled to the floor of the shower. Water beat over my head as anguish ripped over me, through me, from me, tearing me apart, until my heart bled just like my body had.

  I vaguely heard a muffled curse. The water stopped, and a warm, dry towel was draped over me. I was lifted in strong arms, held against a chest, taken from the shower to stand on the floor. Gentle arms wound around me, an arm around my waist, another at my nape, holding me against a warm, solid wall.

  “No. Don’t touch me. Don’t do this. Please ... stop.”

  His hands stilled on my shoulders, body tense. “... why?”

  “Because I don’t deserve this.”

  I tried to pull away, but he kept me pressed against him, whispering into my ear, rubbing my back with long, soothing strokes. I gave up struggling, falling against his body. He took my weight easily.

  His hand rubbing my back was mesmerizing. His body heat merged with mine. Eventually, I was able to subdue the sobbing until I hiccupped. I became aware of his heart beating just next to my ear. The regular beats lulling me into calmness. Whether it was fake or that I was just so exhausted, I didn’t care. I accepted his soothing. Let myself be washed away with the first pair of hands that had shown me any kindness in a long, long time.

  “It will be all right, I promise,” he whispered.

  I wished I could agree, I really did. I wanted so badly to think he could chase the boogeyman away, but I knew better. At least he’d been able to give me a moment of peace.

  Weariness tugged at my limbs. The towel was replaced with the robe. Julius quickly wrapped me in it, securing it with the tie around my waist. He sat me down on a little stool, rubbing my hair with a towel, then he brushed the knots out of it until the strands flowed like silk down my back. I sighed deeply. My hair was clean. My skin was clean. He’d allowed me to reclaim my body, such as it was.

  “It’s okay, Katia. I’ll fix you. You are so much more than just what you see. You have to believe that,” Julius whispered, sounding as devastated as I was.

  That’s what Heather used to say. “How can you be so sure? You don’t even know me.”

  “Everyone has value.”

  I hiccupped a snort. If he only knew. There was no value inside of me. Hadn’t been for a long time. “Then you’ll never know me at all.”

  Julius picked me up, and I let him. I didn’t give myself a second look in the mirror. I had seen enough.

  Chapter Seven

  “I’m going to put ointment on your feet. They’re cut up pretty bad. It won’t hurt, but I’ll have to touch you to put it on.”

  I nodded. He was being so gentle with me. Careful and kind, and I almost couldn’t take it. He left the room and returned shortly with a small container. He set it on the bedside table, scooped out some of the ointment, and settled at the end of the bed.

  His hands were firm and gentle. When was the last time someone had touched me with care? Certainly Heather, the only person I could call my friend, had. The only person I’d ever let close to me. And betrayal was how I’d thanked her.

  Julius’s touch was professional, nothing sexual, but it was more than just that. I sensed caring and tenderness as he made sure he didn’t hurt me while he rubbed the score of cuts and bruises. Tears threatened to burst through a heated wall somewhere in the middle of my throat. I worked hard to keep them at bay. I focused over his shoulder to concentrate on something other than my lack of ability to control my emotions.

  He didn’t try to talk to me. He must have sensed that I really wasn’t capable of it at the moment. His fingers were gentle, caring. He tried hard not to hurt me, and apart from a twinge, all I felt were those fingers working the ointment into my skin. Eventually, the tension in my body drained. The silence was comfortable. My eyelids became heavy and started to drift shut.

  A silent box hovered over his shoulder, like the ones I’d smashed earlier and like the multitude of boxes I’d seen in the streets. I jerked away from his touch, reeling away from that machine.

  “What is that thing?” I whispered. Its lens turned to me, shining and black.

  “It’s a Personal Assistant. We simply call it a P.A.”

  I stifled a shiver. “I don’t like it.”

  Julius paused, a shadow of a smile on his mouth. “They’re harmless. Just a machine to help us with our daily chores. Nothing to be afraid of.”

  “As in what a secretary does for a job?” I thought of the many secretaries and assistants that were now nondescript, hovering, scary boxes. I shivered. Something about the lens reminded me of an eye: black, hollow, soulless.

  “Well, it was a job once, but these devices accomplish much more. Most people have the personal variety. They take in information just by being with you, they learn about your life, what you do and need and when you need things. They order your food, arrange your personal appointments, set the temperature of your house when you come home. Little things like that. They do them automatically. Then there are others that have been trained for specific technological jobs. I’ve set the one here just for you. It knows your basic physical functions, heart rate, blood pressure, and scans you all the time, making sure you’re aligned. It will calculate if you’re dehydrated and what you will need to eat to regain perfect health. When you get them, they are a shell, totally blank, and then they learn from the owner,” Julius said.

  “They learn?”

  “Each one comes with a memory card and a clean slate. It monitors the main person that uses it. It remembers and preempts what you need. You can train it for your personal needs. Each one is unique because of the way the owner trains it.”

  “Can it read my mind?”

  Julius smiled, and it reached all the way to his eyes. “They just do simple jobs better. Like running messages and retrieving information very quickly. Things that save us time. They’re
harmless.”

  “How long have they been around for?”

  “They started to be developed during your time. You had electronic diaries you used, dates you added into your software programs that would blink open for meetings and such. That software was developed to start thinking about fifty years ago so it was less laborious plugging everything in. I guess things like using magnetic gravity have been put to everyday use for twenty years or so. These little things have been around for a long time. I take them for granted now.”

  I thought of the software my father was involved with. That was cutting edge a century ago. The type of software that filtered to the masses years after the military had no more use for it. I wondered if he’d had something to do with technology such as this, but from what Julius said, it was harmless. If P.A. s helped lives, my father probably wouldn’t have bothered with them.

  “Katia, I’m here to help you. You’ve had a major shock, but I promise I’ll be here for you. There’s nothing to be scared about.”

  I didn’t answer. I knew he was trying to calm me, but it only served to make me more wary. I really was in a different world from what I’d left behind. I had nothing, knew no one, and was totally out of my depth. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  I had to pull myself together and not wallow in self-pity. I’d done it before. I simply had to do it again.

  “I’m finished with the ointment. I want you to try to eat. I have some soup. Do you think you can manage something like that?”

  My stomach roiled at the thought of food, but I knew I’d be in worse condition if I didn’t eat. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I had. No wonder my body was so withered.

  He pulled the covers around me and propped me up on the pillows. I was too stunned to protest, felt too awkward to know how to respond to such gentleness. He left the room and returned with a hot bowl. A delicious aroma filled the room, and my mouth watered. As though in agreement with the smell, my stomach growled and my cheeks immediately heated.