At Night, I Become a Monster

by Yoru Sumino

  I don’t know what Yano-san thought in response to my wordless hesitation, but she grinned smugly. “Well…I don’t know.”

  Did she mean that she didn’t understand my question? Or did she mean that even she wasn’t sure that she’d done the right thing? The former would be best, as the latter would mean that she really was an odd duck, someone who couldn’t ever follow the flow of a conversation or read the room.

  Of course, when I imagined the ramifications of that, I grew afraid.

  So far, I had lived under the assumption that Yano-san was a girl who operated by a sort of logic that the rest of us could never grasp; a girl who seemed to live every day to its fullest, who always wore a grin on her face even when she was ignored or shunned or bullied. A girl who suddenly attacked classmates during morning homeroom.

  A twisted, addled girl.

  With someone like that, one might be able to think that the sort of treatment she received was inevitable.

  But what did it mean if she was just someone who was working and living the best way she knew how, by her own philosophy? What did it mean if, after spending the whole weekend agonizing over it, Yano-san had decided to come to the rescue of a classmate who had become embroiled in something heinous thanks to a momentary interaction with her?

  I suddenly began to worry that there had been some similar situation with Midorikawa-san, that Yano-san had done what she did out of following her own Yano-san line of reasoning. But I didn’t ask about it. If I asked, and was met with some rationale that I had no choice but to accept, then I would no longer be able to hide behind our class’s sense of righteousness.

  I shook my head and forcefully banished the thought from my mind. That just couldn’t be. There was no way that a normal person could carry on with such a smug look on their face, day in and day out, while dealing with Yano-san’s burdens. No normal person would make their already poor circumstance worse just to help a classmate who didn’t even like them. Even then, there had to be far more normal ways to help than a slap in the face.

  There was no doubt about it. This girl lived by a mindset that was thoroughly different from the rest of ours. That much was certain.

  The fact that she liked the same music I did, that she was a fellow Jump reader, and that she also looked forward to Kinyou Roadshow was totally irrelevant.

  I decided to stop talking about Iguchi-san. No matter how much we discussed the topic, there was nothing that I could do to change the circumstances, so it was pointless.

  Instead, I decided to discuss an issue that I might actually be able to understand. That would be far more constructive.

  “Th-that reminds me, there was something else that I came here to talk to you about, Yano-san.”

  Yano-san looked at me suspiciously. “Only if it’s not something about…the daytime…again.”

  “It’s not. Or, I don’t think it is. Truth is, one of the guys from our class saw me coming to the school, so he was apparently saying he’s gonna sneak in here to catch me.”

  “Wow…how stupid.”

  “Seriously. Catching a monster?”

  “No, I meant…you…Acchi-kun.”

  When I shot a stern glare at her with all eight of my eyes, Yano-san chuckled. Now that she was accustomed to them, it must have looked a bit more comical than it would have coming from a more human stare.

  “That’s…no good.”

  “Right? Also, he seems to have figured out how easy it is to sneak into here.”

  “Then he knows about…midnight break.”

  “I don’t know about that, but even if we avoid coming here until those guys get bored of hunting a kaiju, what if this place ends up becoming a long-term hangout for them? Even laying low wouldn’t fix the problem.”

  “What if…you scared them away…at the gates?”

  “That would be fine if I could come here early and lie in wait for them, but I’m never sure exactly what time I’m going to change into a monster each night.”

  I tried to direct her away from any plans that relied solely on my effort. This was the nighttime. No one should be seeing me.

  Yano-san folded her arms and grumbled. “If they come…at any time outside of midnight break…the guard will catch them, so it should be…fine. And…if they come during midnight break…you’ll just have to make sure they never think of sneaking in…ever again.”

  “I guess so. Scaring them off outside of the school wouldn’t stop them from wanting to sneak in, anyway.”

  Suddenly, a creepy laugh erupted from Yano-san. “Eeheeheeheeheehee!”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “No, it’s just… I’m so…happy to have you protecting this place…Acchi-kun.”

  Though I had purposely tried to ignore that fact, hearing it said out loud was a bit embarrassing.

  It wasn’t like that. It was merely that I, being a monster, might actually have the ability to drive them away.

  But another strange thought crossed my mind: that I might somehow be trying to atone for things I had done during the day.

  “Well, anyway, if I can get more details about their plans, then you probably shouldn’t come here on the day it goes down,” I said.

  “And just how will you let me know…the timing?”

  “I, uh…”

  If I only found out on the day they planned to do it, there wouldn’t be enough time to get word to her. As I told her before, the time which I turned into a monster every night was not set—and I couldn’t talk to her during the daytime.

  “And…also…”

  “Hm?”

  “What would you do? If it was…today?”

  As if perfectly timed to Yano-san’s words, when I tried to respond to the thought, there came a sound like a large bell ringing from outside the window.

  The alarm. My body trembled, oversensitive to the noise. We looked to one another and both immediately crouched down. We’ve been spotted, I thought. The alarm bell was sudden.

  My eight eyes darted back and forth wildly as I crept towards the front door alongside Yano-san, when suddenly, the bell stopped. As it did, Yano-san immediately turned to me.

  “That seems…strange.”

  “What does?” I asked, my voice strained.

  Yano-san stood. “I figured we might have been spotted by some…teacher…who came here and didn’t know about midnight break… Since…the guards shouldn’t have a problem with us. But…the alarm only rang…over in the other building. And it…was quiet.”

  She was clearly flustered. As I thought about it, besides the whole “midnight break” thing, everything she said was correct, so I summoned up a Shadow and sent it flying out into the courtyard. Naturally, there was no one there. When I snuck into the opposing building and had a thorough look around, there was no one there either. A light was on in the guard room, but there was no indication of anything actually going on. I moved outside, looked out across the fields and then turned towards the gates.

  There, through the Shadow’s eyes, I caught a glimpse of movement.

  It was only for a moment, and there was barely enough time to confirm that it was a human passing through the gates before they vanished out of sight. I hurried to chase after them, but the second I passed through the gates, my connection to the Shadow’s sight was severed.

  “What’s…wrong?” Yano-san asked.

  “The Shadow vanished.”

  “Oh, you call that thing…Shadow? How embarassing.”

  “Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I saw someone,” I told her.

  “Who?”

  Who indeed. I’d at least seen that they were wearing a jersey, had shorter hair, and were not very tall. Still, it was only for an instant that I saw them. As I described what I’d seen, Yano-san flopped into her chair, grumbling.

  “Maybe…it was someone from outside the school…who came because they heard the bell. Maybe the guard or the teacher…or whoever… rang it.”

  “No, it looked like they were wearing one of our sch
ool’s jerseys.”

  “Well, this is midnight break…so if that’s true, then they’re probably some total idiot who let their own alarm go off…or something,” she said wearily, conveniently ignoring her own idiocy in sneaking into the school every night. Hearing the word “idiot,” however, it occurred to me that it might have been someone from Motoda’s squad, an individual sent ahead for reconnaissance. Or worse, there might already be more of them hanging around in the school…

  Ever the worrywart, I once more summoned up my Shad…er, my clone self and checked out the interiors of both buildings. In the end, however, I found no one but the guards.

  “Did Mister Shadow…find anything?”

  “…No, nothing.”

  Honestly, in what world does a monster get teased by a little girl?

  There was no way that we were going to be able to get any more information about who I had seen. Instead, Yano-san and I discussed how to deal with Motoda and company. I silently continued my surveillance throughout. Unfortunately, we were unable to come up with any sort of special measures, and in the end, we decided that I would chase them down with a clone if they snuck in during midnight break, menacing them with fire like some sort of wild beast.

  Though I said that this was a discussion, it was mostly just me offering up ideas while Yano-san chattered about nonsense in between.

  Finding myself at a loss in the midst of it, I confessed: “You know, Yano-san, I’m doing this for you.”

  To which she peevishly replied, “Well…that’s patronizing.”

  Finally, as always, came the chime that signaled the end of midnight break.

  “Time…to go home.”

  As I lifted up my shrunken body, Yano-san stood as well and then stared hard at me.

  “What’s up?”

  “Will you come again…tomorrow?”

  I hadn’t heard that question in a while. I started to wonder why it was that she had asked me that again today, but then stopped myself.

  “They might show up without warning, so I’ll be here. Hide yourself somewhere while I’m not here.”

  It really would be for the best, I thought, if she learned to be more cautious. To Yano-san, there was nothing that caused her more uneasiness than the thought of her midnight break being ruined.

  I could not see her face as she waved me away on parting, and my heart filled with worry about what would happen tomorrow.

  Tuesday

  Day

  I THINK I’VE ALREADY alluded to this well enough, but it’s a fundamental truth—whether you’re human or monster, whether you’re good or bad, whether it’s noon or night, no one really likes to see bad things happen to others. Thus, I was fully aware that life at school, starting today, was going to become really unpleasant. I would have to sit and watch a certain classmate face even more loathsome treatment than she ever had before. And I would have to do it without letting anyone see how uncomfortable I was with the whole thing.

  Realizing this, I steeled myself, but naturally all the resolve I thought I had mustered to make it through the day was blown away by reality—a reality that was leagues worse than anything I could have possibly imagined.

  When I arrived at the classroom in the morning, things were immediately different from usual. For one, Motoda was already there, which probably wasn’t that strange; his coach might have had something come up, which would mean no morning practice. What concerned me the most was seeing the girls surrounding a particular desk—Nakagawa’s. When I glanced over, half out of politeness’s sake, wondering whether something had happened, I saw that Nakagawa was in her seat, crying.

  At first, I assumed that she had just broken up with her boyfriend or something. She had a pretty face and a nice body, so she was popular with the boys in our class. And plenty of people worried about getting cheated on. Her tear-soaked face made her seem like a completely different girl from the other day when she had looked at Iguchi like she was a cockroach.

  It was when Yano arrived at school that I realized the issue wasn’t something merely as simple as that.

  She entered the classroom as she did every day, greeting the room with a “Good…morning.” Despite yesterday’s strange occurrence, as per her custom, she then headed to her seat, no one so much as reacting to her.

  Yano was her usual self. What was different was everyone else.

  Nakagawa’s desk was in the front of the classroom. As Yano started to pass beside them, Motoda, who was also there, smacked her in the back of the head with an empty plastic bottle.

  “Hey,” he said.

  It was a far softer sound than that of yesterday’s slap, but it was enough for everyone in the room to freeze in their tracks and look at the pair.

  Yano turned to look at him, stunned at both his voice and the unprompted attack. Everyone knew that Motoda had previously done numerous things to Yano, but no one, including him, had ever laid hands on her directly.

  Even without knowing the dynamics of our class, it was obvious at a glance which one of them could overpower the other from their difference in size alone.

  As the tension in the room rose, everyone wondering what exactly was going to happen, it was Motoda who was the first to speak again.

  “It was you, wasn’t it?”

  I had no idea what he was referring to. Yano cocked her head as though she didn’t either.

  “I was…what?”

  That bizarre speech pattern of Yano’s only ever made people angrier.

  “You tore up Nakagawa’s shoes and threw them out in the yard, didn’t you? As payback for yesterday.”

  Did that really happen? I wondered. From my seat, I glanced at Nakagawa’s feet, which is when I finally noticed the brown slippers she was wearing.

  “Don’t play games with me,” Motoda said.

  What lingered inside of Motoda, the root of the forceful edge with which he spoke, was not a sense of justice, nor righteous fury on Nakagawa’s behalf. It wasn’t even disdain—instead, it a pure and simple desire. The desire to harm Yano. I think we all realized it, but such matters were of no consequence to the members of our class.

  If I had advice for Yano, then I wish I could have given it to her before. I probably should have done so the previous night. I could have told her the correct facial expression to make when someone says something like that to you. If she had just shaken her head from side to side, given a meek denial with a tense look upon her face, she would have been fine. If she did that, then unless the other person had proof of the accusation, which usually was not the case, then they would calm immediately down.

  So why would she make that face?

  “I don’t know…anything about that,” she said with a grin, flat-out denying the accusation.

  “Come again?”

  “III…dooon’t knooow…aaanyyything…about that,” she said again, stretching out each and every word as though he hadn’t heard her, before turning and heading toward her seat, that self-satisfied smirk still on her face.

  Perhaps she believed that sharing a smile with the world was a surefire technique to make friends with other people. Perhaps in her twisted mind, so long as she always smiled, always laughed, then others would be endeared to her.

  If so, then I needed to teach her: no, that’s wrong. If you smile at someone who doesn’t want to see your smile, then you’re only going to rub them the wrong way.

  It was because she made that face.

  “Wipe that smile off your face,” snarled Motoda, taking a rectangular blackboard eraser that was sitting on the ledge of the blackboard in hand. “You creepy little—!”

  He called her a truly foul name.

  And without a moment’s hesitation, he flung the eraser at her. Luckily, the side that struck the back of her head was the softer one. As it fell to the floor, the people near her jumped back, as though a dead bug had just come flying their way. It was an object that had come in contact with Yano, after all.

  “Wah!” said Yano, pressing her
hand to her skull. But as she took her seat, the grin still remained on her face.

  Seeing that look, I grew frightened again. How could she smile even at a time like this? Was this just some stubbornness or something on her part?

  There were no other overtures made towards Yano that morning. Until the teacher arrived, the whole class was occupied with the matter of the still-crying Nakagawa’s shoes, but ultimately, the culprit was never found, and Nakagawa spent the whole day wearing visitor’s slippers.

  It was our teacher who picked up the eraser, admonishing us, “Who did this? Put things back where they belong.”

  As I watched, I wondered who could possibly manage to pick it up, when it was too awful for any of us to even say who it had struck.

  ***

  The class unanimously decided that Yano was the culprit behind the shoe incident. Naturally, I had no idea what the truth was, and so I could neither confirm nor deny. I merely went along with the flow.

  During gym class, standing behind the net that divided the gymnasium’s court in two, Nakagawa and the other girls ganged up on Yano. The game of the day was dodgeball, and Yano became the target of relentless, skull-thumping throws, over and over again. But what could I do? There was no point in dwelling on it. Nor on the fact that Iguchi appeared to be watching the other girls with distress. I needed to think about something more useful.

  After we finished eating our lunches at midday break, Kasai and I were washing our hands in the restroom while everyone else headed out to the field. I asked him, as though I had only just happened to remember: “Oh yeah, so, is Motoda seriously gonna try to go after that kaiju?”

  Motoda himself was in the classroom napping, perhaps to replenish his energy stores for club activities later.

  Kasai smiled, amused. “I mean, he said he was, but he’s an idiot. There was already that whole thing about him getting into a fight with a first-year on the baseball team, ahaha.”

  A fight? That was the first I was hearing of it.

  “Like, he seemed happy when he said there wasn’t any morning practice, but I’m pretty sure he started something and they just wouldn’t let him play. Sucks for him, but that’s just too funny,” he said, lowering his voice. He slapped my shoulder, smiling.