saint Sebastian the Rose

by Glover, Michael W.

  Sebastian knew his friend wasn’t prying; he was trying to help. He put down the soon-to-be statue and looked at his oldest friend, a friend that looked older than he had just weeks before. He could actually remember him when he was almost as young as he was. How he missed that friend, and how he didn’t want to look at that future, so he turned his head away.

  “I wasn’t going to let him get away. I followed him, and he almost killed me. I was dead, I think. I was ready for it, but I was saved by my guardian angel,” Sebastian revealed.

  “Your Companion?” Father Donovan asked, making the connection.

  “Yes,” Sebastian said with mixed emotions. “And no.”

  He lowered his head, feeling the shame of telling something about himself that was not, in his mind, good. The sting of the consequences of that night hit him hard again. He looked back at his friend and psychologist and tried to get the words out.

  “He attacked Baldric and prevented my death at least … but I was almost beyond recovery. He gave me a choice, and he brought Father Matthew out from the woods and laid him next to me.”

  Father Donovan began to piece together everything and knew the picture forming was not an easy one for his old friend.

  “You did what he would have wanted you to do. You know this just as I do,” Father Donovan reassured him. Sebastian heard those words that echoed in his head that very night, the rationalizations, he thought, of a mad mind.

  “I thought … I was confused … misled … I thought him only unconscious. I would have never….”

  “I know you wouldn’t have; he knows you wouldn’t have, and you must come to terms with that fact. Who here would not have done the same?” Father Donovan soothed the pain that came through the confession. “It is likely he would have never come through in the first place,” Father Donovan said. Sebastian stared at him earnestly; there was more.

  “He died that night, in my room. I would not save the friend who had saved me. I couldn’t do it,” Sebastian confessed.

  “You have to wonder—would that choice have been more for him or for you? I think that you made the right one. Who can decide for another to be given such a life? I think you, best of all, can understand that,” the old monk reasoned. Sebastian waited to finish his tale of horror.

  “That night, Father Matthew wasn’t taken from the castle. He left, of his own will. He died, and I did not bring him back.”

  Father Donovan now understood his suspicions had been correct. Sebastian made his choice, but that too had been taken out of his hands like so many things that happened that night.

  “I saw him leave the monastery. I saw him, and he saw me as he disappeared into the woods.” Sebastian could hardly believe the words he spoke.

  “I would think it didn’t matter what you did that night. I say he was already on that path before he was ever brought to you.” Father Donovan pieced the plan together for Sebastian. “Our friend was on his way to the death long before your encounter. My only question lies with why he left.”

  Sebastian quickly understood the reasons, so many reasons. None of them he wanted to acknowledge, but his friend needed to know.

  “He left … because whoever made him, called him. He left also because the hunger was after him,” Sebastian shared the reality. Father Donovan screwed up his face. There was something he didn’t understand now, that didn’t make sense with the reasons.

  “Why would he leave then when so many of us were here? He could have had any number of us.”

  “He didn’t want to hurt any of his friends; he went into the woods and into possible death to avoid killing any of us,” Sebastian picked up the statue again and started carving.

  Father Donovan believed Sebastian was right on the mark and he also knew he was done for the day; their session was over and he left him to his work. With the pieces coming together he knew the complete story was not over, there were new players now and even though the story might not complete in his lifetime, another chapter was yet to be written. But for now he would wander his halls and plan for tomorrow.

  ***

  Jessica and Jacob woke one morning just like many that had passed. The thing that was always the same was that Jessica was first to wake and first to leave the rooms they had once again taken residency in. Her routine became absolutely iron clad and her brother thought it was too set and almost unhealthy; if anyone ever wanted to assassinate her they would be able to plan out one hundred different ways and places to pull it off.

  After waking to an early alarm, cleaning up, and dressing she made her way through the castle like a bolt of lightning every morning, passing through the now infamous rooms she would never forget, but these places were not the source of her destination. When finally she came to the small rotunda she located the door, a door leading outside and to a courtyard she went to every morning and evening. To her disappointment, the scene was always the same, empty with nothing but a lonely bench; this did not sway her in the least to her anticipation.

  When she came to the door this morning she bolted right through, trying in some way to be like her brother and ready again to be dissatisfied with the outcome of her search. This morning was different, this morning for her marked the start of that future she saw, where one day everything changes and everything after is the start of something new. This day she saw the little stone bench wasn’t empty; she saw the object of her search sitting in the soft darkness of the early morning hours reading away at something, too fixated to notice anything else.

  She couldn’t have been more wrong of course. Sebastian was well aware she had burst into the courtyard and was making her way towards him. He stopped reading and turned to regard her, finding the face he’d longed to see in the light of the coming dawn, two things so inexorably twisted in his heart he could not for the life of him separate the image. It was as if an angel, one of those he didn’t believe in, had found him and was happy this lost soul was here.

  Jessica, too, was beyond joy and the euphoria in her system overrode all sense; she could not get over the vision of Sebastian, her source of all intrigue and everything else she could not describe. He was back in his place and her world was right again. She scanned every inch of him, never wanting to believe it could be any other way. His dark hair she loved even in its almost messy state and his eyes that were darker still … they were bottomless pits, and ones she fell into with no hope of escaping. When she was closer, his skin came into the faint light as her eyes adjusted and she saw that the skin once again looked like the soft fair skin she remembered, no more rough and hollow and scarred surface that had seen too much battle.

  She sat next to him and she put her arm around him, leaning in to rest her head on his shoulder. He accepted the soft embrace and he closed his eyes, committing everything to memory. The sounds of the breeze came and went as they moved the trees and the leaves rustled. Jessica was the first to speak.

  “I didn’t know if you would ever come back?”

  “This is my place,” Sebastian said this as he leaned his head to rest on hers. “This will always be my place.”

  The last words made him think and wonder.

  ***

  The summer had almost come and gone; routine had come back into place but not all of their routines. Sebastian had not ventured out from the castle since those fateful nights, and he was becoming restless for the nights that he used to have wandering alone. He’d spent time with Jessica that evening after sunset in the courtyard just as they had for the past several weeks, and Jacob had come by Sebastian’s room after Jessica and Sebastian had their time together. Later on they left to go to their rooms, and Sebastian was alone with his thoughts and his books. He had written in his journal every chance he could, and he was just finishing up his latest entry.

  Setting the journal down, he looked to the opposite chair that sat empty and the table next to it that was also empty. The book that usually sat there was missing, and he’d only just noticed it. Sebastian had been cooped up here t
oo long; the time had come. Gathering the appropriate items, he left his small room on his quest.

  ***

  Upstairs the twins were restless and decided to play some cards until they were too tired to stay up. Jacob, who was always hungry, decided to go get a late night snack, and Jessica said to bring back something sweet. Jacob left, wandering the halls in his pajamas and bare feet, suddenly wishing he had worn socks; the cold stone floors were enough to wake the dead.

  He made it to the end of the hall and hesitated before he made his way through those doors, those doors leading again into the hall he respected and feared, but he would have to traverse it to get to the kitchen. It was while acknowledging his respect, or was it the fear, that he heard a noise that sent the flesh on his bones crawling, the rhythmic dull sounds of somebody walking in the quiet castle at night, very late. He remembered the last time he had heard such sounds and the events they led up to, and suddenly things did not seem right anymore. The past came back and life was unsure.

  Slipping out from behind those doors he waited at the top of the stairs, finding his old hiding place again. Holding onto the rail post for dear life he waited as the sounds grew in volume. Hoping his mind was only playing tricks on him, he watched as a figure crossed the floor, replaying the past. There was only one possibility as to the identity of the figure he saw. He recognized him easily—Sebastian—but that didn’t sway his complete surprise at what he was trying to comprehend. Sebastian was going out again, late at night by himself, and Jacob did not like the possibilities.

  He ran back to the room once Sebastian crossed the floor. He entered somewhat winded, stopped to look quickly at Jessica and then made for the window. She saw the look on her brother’s face and followed him to the window, wondering what he was about. They watched and waited. This time was different from the first; there was no snow to cast a great light on things from the reflection of the moon, but it was apparent who they saw as a figure cut across the lawn towards the woods. Jessica looked at Jacob for answers.

  “I heard him walking … and I saw him cross the floor. He’s going out there,” Jacob fumbled.

  “We have to go and follow him,” Jessica said. Jacob grabbed her arm as she turned.

  “No, we can’t help him. Don’t you understand? That’s his world and we are not a part of it.”

  Jessica grimaced at her brother’s words.

  “That’s his choice … to go out there, and we should understand he doesn’t expect us to run after him every time he leaves. You know he wouldn’t want us to.” Jacob let go of her arm and walked away from the window. Jessica lingered, waiting for some sign she should join him, out there in the dark.

  ***

  Sebastian treaded lightly; his path seemed alien to him somehow. He had to become reacquainted with his trees and the stones in the dirt. The light was even different; the woods were darker than they had been the last time he came out on his own. Sure enough he found his way, and at the edge of the clearing he couldn’t move. There seemed a barrier he could not cross, and he searched for a way.

  He stood for some time waiting, waiting for some sign, a comet from the heavens, an earthquake or just something in his head to click, allowing him to put one foot in front of the other. None of the above came, just the hoot of an owl—his owl. This, it seemed, was reassurance enough. His lone watcher seemed to be able to read Sebastian’s mind, whatever the situation.

  Entering the clearing, he felt something; he looked around and saw there was nothing, and his nerves were getting the best of him. The circle of trees were as he left them, shooting straight up to the sky, creating a great wall that opened up to the heavens. Those heavens were different though, they were missing something, Mother Moon. She was on a different cycle, he realized; he would miss the light she provided and the company she gave. Without her the area was darker, and the details were harder to make out. Without her the water of the pond seemed dark, darker than he remembered it, or was that because at the bottom of those depths laid a nasty thing.

  Those thoughts were too dark, Sebastian realized; he had not come here to dwell on those things. He had come here to reclaim what was his and this was the first step. To overcome any doubt in his head they were gone and once again he was lord over the land. He just wanted his place back.

  If he wanted to take this place back he would have to take it, every inch of it all over again. Sebastian began to walk the clearing circling the pond. He walked over the green grass and came upon the stones he once remembered and he skirted the edge of the woods, touching some of those trees he knew. Making his way around, he came full circle; he stopped and felt relieved that nothing had jumped out at him. He felt sure of himself and his place again.

  The only thing left was to sit and read. The stone bench was dark in the dim light of the night and Sebastian walked right up to it and began to sit down. He hesitated and looked down at the seat he had spent so much time on. The bench was not empty as it should be; on its surface was something darker than the stone itself, a book. Sebastian moved and sat down next to the book before he attempted to pick it up. He looked around the clearing again but then back to the book.

  He picked it up, the smooth leather and ribbed spine told much about the book without even looking at it. But he did not need to look at it, he could guess as to what book this was, even though he tried to block that from his mind—fifteenth century philosophy. Sebastian finally looked at the book; he was right. This was a book Father Matthew was very fond of reading, the one missing from the table. Sebastian always made fun of him for reading very obscure books that most couldn’t read unless they could translate four or more ancient languages.

  Sebastian pressed the book to his chest and looked around again. His friend had been here, to his spot, and left him the book. What was he to take from this? Had Father Matthew been here, or had someone else placed the book there for some other reason? The reasons of vampires are not always easy to interpret. Maybe someday he would tell him why. Maybe someday his friend would return. He had also faintly wished he would run into his Companion again. But he was sort of glad he did not see him; whenever he saw his Companion, bad things occurred soon after.

  Sebastian took this as good fortune and stood up. Taking one last look at his place, he left with his book under his arm. Turning in to the woods, he left his place again until another night.

  chapter FORTY-TWO

  NO ONE REALLY UNDERSTOOD what they should do next; they went about their days, literally living one day at a time, everyone thankful. Father Donovan, of course, was always a step ahead, with great plans for the future while others busied themselves to their particular area of interest.

  The twins lived on the edge of living with the knowledge they’d acquired and had taken longer to get back in the swing of things than the monks. They still managed to do what was necessary to go on and both did what they could to learn about their new world. Both still had hopes about their father. They realized they should not be surprised by anything anymore. While Sebastian didn’t voice anything negative about their hopes, he did not hinder them and offered any help he could be when it came to the subject.

  Jacob was spending equal time with Father Lemoine in the armory and with Father Jacques and Father Andrew in the library. Jacob was fast becoming an expert in the use of several weapons. His new passion was something they had added to the library, a computer that was hooked up to the Internet. This was part of Father Donovan’s plan to update the monastery, which had tried to maintain its medieval feel in almost every way. Jacob used this new tool in his research into anything he could find about vampires, their world and things that were of interest to them.

  This is where he was this early afternoon brushing up on his astronomy, a subject he had only vaguely paid any attention to in school but now he was a complete fanatic in its study. Jessica began to call him a pseudo-vampire because of his interest in the subject. He would only reply, “Keep your friends close but keep your enemies clos
er.” This was his way of trying to gain an understanding of them. If you know their ways, habits and curiosities, then maybe you can understand their decisions before it’s too late. He kept his father’s chair in the library occupied and his coffee cup warm. This is where Jacob was at.

  One of the last things that had been repaired was the great window in the Grand Staircase Hall of the Lonely Tower. The reason for this was the fact that the window was delicate and a lot of planning had to go into the restoration of its damaged sections but also because the window told stories and they were adding new scenes in memory of recent events. Several monks were in here each day doing the painstaking work and Father Donovan came in every half hour or so just to check on the wondrous work being done. Jessica also loved to watch the pieces coming together as the big puzzle was being solved.

  That was what she now fixated on, the puzzle of events or unsolved questions that lay still unanswered, and there were many. Most of her time was devoted to this when she wasn’t here or with her brother or Sebastian. Her binder became filled with ideas, clues and other relevant information she and her Internet-obsessed brother had come up with. But for now she was taking a break, here in the place of all places, the Grand Staircase Hall, the most haunted room in the castle. This is where Jessica was at.

  Sebastian returned to much of his previous schedule he had once been accustomed to. Many nights he would go out and roam but now he also searched in hopes of finding Father Matthew. During the day he would do his work, which now focused more on any locations of graves that remained unknown and delving deeper into any vampire myth and lore he could get his hands on. He’d read so much of it lately he felt all of the information was becoming tangled in his head so much he couldn’t keep it straight. This is normally what he was doing this time of the day, which was still early; he would sleep later around lunch until sunset. He’d taken a break in his work to go over the thick notebook Jessica was compiling. He sat comfortably in his library reading. This is where Sebastian was at.