Lavinia's Window

by Michelle Weisen

  Charlotte had more than she could handle at home, and it seemed unfair to add another child to the household. Particularly one she knew nothing about. However, there were many boarding schools abroad and he was certain that Lavinia would be better off attending a fine school where she would become well-educated, and polished in social graces. In this way, Alex would remove Lavinia from Constance’s manipulative jurisdiction, and take control of his daughter’s future himself without disturbing his wife.

  A vivid memory of Julia haunted him, and he could not deny that she would have opposed this decision with every fiber of her being. Her presence wrapped itself about him, imploring him to change his mind. For a moment he wavered, but his memories of rejection overcame the power of his earlier love.

  “You are no longer here, Julia, and I have conceded to give Constance nearly thirteen years of our daughter’s life. I will not stand by and allow the girl to turn her back on me as you once did. Lavinia may not accept her circumstances at first, but she must understand that it is her duty to obey me. If my child cannot love me, she will very well respect me,” he decided.

  He turned to his secretary. “Arrange a meeting with my attorney this afternoon. I have a number of personal issues that I wish to discuss.”

  He sat back in his chair. “Constance cannot undermine the weight of my authority, but I expect that she will not give up so easily,” he surmised. “She is no match for me, as she will soon see.”

  Confident that he had resolved the matter, Alex directed his attention to business affairs.

  Borage -“Courage”

  Chapter 16

  Lavinia practiced calligraphy at her desk while Annie sat in the window seat watching the snow drift lazily over the countryside. Sweet Pea meowed and rubbed his head against Annie’s knees. Bubbles wandered over and hopped up on the window seat. He pressed his little face against the glass and quickly backed away.

  “I’ll bet that felt cold,” laughed Lavinia.

  Annie smiled and put Bubbles in her lap. Sweet Pea stretched out on Annie’s legs.

  “Looks like you’ve got a full house there, Annie,” commented Mrs. Lawson. She was carrying a tray of hot tea and cookies. She looked over Lavinia’s shoulder. “Beautiful work, Miss Lavinia. You’ve got talent!”

  “Thank you Mrs. Lawson. I am going to make special note cards for Grandmama, and Ellinor May says that practice makes perfect.”

  “Your grandmama will appreciate your hard work.”

  Mrs. Lawson prepared a cup of tea and set a plate of cookies on the desk for Lavinia, and poured two additional cups of tea and another plate of cookies, which she set on a small table next to an old rocker. Mrs. Lawson settled herself in the rocking chair and opened up her arms. Annie left the window seat and curled up in Mrs. Lawson’s lap.

  Mrs. Lawson passed Annie a cookie. Annie took it, and patted her other hand over her heart. “You’re welcome, my little love,” said Mrs. Lawson affectionately and kissed her on the forehead.

  Annie settled her head on Mrs. Lawson’s ample bosom and munched on her cookie. Mrs. Lawson wrapped her arms around Annie and started rocking.

  After Timothy’s accident, Mrs. Lawson had persuaded Constance to move the chair from the master bedroom to the girls’ room.

  “Annie needs constant cuddling, and there is nothing better than a good rocking.”

  “True. My grandfather gave my mother that chair, and she rocked us often,” remarked Constance. “I rocked my own girls in it, and Lavinia as well.”

  “There are generations of love in that chair, and we’re going to need all of it to mend that little girl, God help us.”

  Constance, the General, Mrs. Lawson, and Ellinor May took turns rocking Annie every day. Mrs. Lawson’s idea appeared to be working. Annie clearly enjoyed being held and, although she still did not speak, she was putting on weight and her cheeks had regained their rosy color. Lavinia also noted that the rocking sessions affected those who provided comfort for Annie in ways that she had not expected.

  Annie and the General shared a bond that had deepened after Timothy’s death. They existed within a sphere of silence and sorrow, and on the occasions when the General rocked with Annie, Lavinia felt as though she were intruding where she did not belong. Constance often held Annie as though she were a baby, singing lullabyes that Lavinia had not heard for many years. Ellinor May’s gentle ways became more evident to Lavinia as she nurtured Annie with wonderful stories with happy endings, coaxing smiles from the sad little face. Practical Mrs. Lawson never passed on an opportunity to hold Annie despite her hectic schedule, and she told Lavinia that no matter how busy one was, it didn’t mean anything if a person didn’t know what or who should be at the top of the list.

  “Miss Lavinia, how is your journal comin’ along?”

  “I haven’t written anything since early December.”

  “So, you’ve finished your work on the virtues then, have you?”

  “No, I have not.”

  Mrs. Lawson nodded and kept rocking. She gave Annie her tea, and sipped at her own. After a time she spoke. “Your grandmama has great faith in you, Lavinia, and so do I. You’ll be thirteen afore you know it.”

  “I know. There is only one virtue left to explore, and that is courage.”

  “Perhaps there’s a reason why that particular virtue remains. Seems to me that you have plenty o’ good examples all around, if you take the time to talk to folks.”

  “What do you think courage is all about?”

  “I believe it’s about facin’ things that make you afraid, and showing your best side while you’re doin’ it,” Mrs. Lawson replied.

  “You put that very well,” said Lavinia.

  “Well, it’s something to start with.” Mrs. Lawson slipped Annie off her lap, and the girls helped her gather up the cups and saucers. “Ellinor May will be coming for dinner, and I’ve promised the General I’d make shepherd’s pie. Finish your journal, Miss Lavinia. You won’t be satisfied if you leave it undone.”

  “Thank you for helping me see that, Mrs. Lawson.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Mrs. Lawson left, and Lavinia took her journal out of her desk. “It’s time I finished what I started,” she told Annie. Annie nodded enthusiastically and clapped her hands. She reached for her bag of yarn and settled back on the window seat. Constance had also used their rocking time to teach Annie to knit, and Annie was working on a scarf for Lavinia.

  As Annie’s needles clicked industriously at her task, Lavinia read through the contents of her journal. She contemplated the lessons that she had learned, and admitted to herself that she had allowed the terrible events in New York to influence her behavior. She took the photograph of her father out of the bottom desk drawer and stared at it from a fresh perspective. “I believe that I have lost sight of my desire to know my father for all the wrong reasons. I formed an opinion based upon what I had seen from a distance, and although I cannot deny that he has, for the most part, abandoned me, I returned his gift because I wanted him to feel my pain.”

  She looked up as Annie tapped her on the shoulder. Annie touched Lavinia’s forehead and opened up her hands.

  “Do you want to know what I am thinking?” Annie nodded.

  “I am thinking that I have left a matter of great importance unresolved.”

  Annie pointed to the photograph.

  “Yes, Annie. But I am no wiser as to how I am to settle this matter, than I was when I started.”

  Annie put her hands together, bowed her head, and closed her eyes. Her lips moved silently as she prayed for Lavinia.

  “Thank you, Annie. Perhaps God will show me a way. Let us go downstairs to wait for Miss Ellinor May.”

  The girls joined the General in the den. He and Kevin were studying some old maps. Kevin was able to get around a little on crutches, but his recovery was slow. Both legs had been broken in the accident. The General had taken over tending for Kevin, and had been more like his old self the past
week.

  Today he was dressed in full military uniform, and wore his Medal of Honor on a neck ribbon. Annie took his hand and curtseyed.

  “Can’t resist a gentleman in uniform, eh?” said the General fondly.

  I’m sure Ellinor May will be most impressed,” said Lavinia.

  “Aye, and so she should,” said Kevin. “‘Tis a rare privilege to see the Congressional Medal of Honor.”

  The General sat down and showed Lavinia and Annie the gold five-pointed star, tipped with trefoils containing a crown of laurel and oak. A band of thirty-four stars in the middle represented the number of States. The General explained that the lady Minerva, holding a shield blazoned with the United States arms, was driving back Discord, the person with the snakes around his arm. The pendant was suspended by a trophy of crossed cannons, balls, sword, and an American eagle, and the clasp consisted of two cornucopias and the arms of the United States.

  “President Lincoln awarded it to me for bravery. During the Battle of Gettysburg, I rode to the front of one of my brigades to reestablish the line. We were able to coordinate a successful assault.”

  “Aye, and Timothy told me you were seriously wounded at the time, sir,” added Kevin.

  “Were you scared?” asked Lavinia.

  “I was,” replied the General. “But fear was a distraction that I could not afford. The responsibility of many lives depended upon skillful leadership. My duty was clear, and I was willing to sacrifice everything, including my life, for my country.”

  “You were very brave, Sir,” said Lavinia, and Annie nodded in agreement.

  “As were so many others. The noblest thing about courage is that those shining moments rising from the human spirit inspire others to claim their own moments of valor.”

  The General stood and leaned on his cane, calling George and Martha to his side. “War is a terrible thing, and I hope that you shall not experience it in your lifetime. I have served my country and earned my medals, but I do not condone the bloodshed and the senseless killing of brave young men. The horror of those days continues to torment me,” he said heavily, and limped from the room.

  “The General is a brave man,” said Kevin.

  “You are brave, too, Kevin,” said Lavinia, reaching out for Kevin’s hand. “You never complain of your injuries. I’m so sorry.”

  “Lavinia, you must stop blamin’ yourself. ‘Twas a dreadful accident, and I feel naught but gratitude that I am alive.”

  “Thank you, Kevin. I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost my Rainy Day Man.”

  Kevin smiled and squeezed her hand, “Well, I’m still here.”

  “Thank goodness,” said Lavinia with tears in her eyes. She pressed Kevin’s hand to her cheek.

  Kevin reached out, and lightly brushed back Lavinia’s hair. “Shh...lass.”

  At that moment, Constance peeked into the den. She said rather sternly, “Kevin, the General is asking for you.”

  Kevin flushed. “Yes, Ma’am.”

  “Girls, go upstairs and get ready for dinner.”

  Annie helped Kevin stand, and Lavinia handed him the crutches.

  “Thanks, little lassies. I’ll see you at dinner.”

  “Lavinia, can I have a moment with you?”

  “Yes, Grandmama.”

  Annie ran upstairs.

  “I know that you have a great deal of affection for Kevin, my dear, but you must keep a certain distance between you.”

  “I don’t know what you mean, Grandmama.”

  “You are both getting older, and I want you to be mindful of your behavior. I don’t want your friendship with Kevin to be misinterpreted.”

  “Like Mama and Timothy?”

  “I don’t appreciate that remark, Lavinia,” said Constance firmly. “You are twelve years old, and have much to learn. It is my responsibility to ensure that you do not grow up before your time, is that understood?”

  “Yes, Grandmama,” replied Lavinia obediently.

  “Good, now run along.”

  Lavinia ran upstairs to get dressed.

  She told Annie, “Grandmama thinks that I am too friendly with Kevin.”

  Annie nodded, and blew kisses in the air.

  “Don’t be silly, Annie.” Lavinia blushed.

  Annie continued blowing kisses, and Lavinia chased her around the bedroom, startling Bubbles and Sweet Pea, who were taking a nap on the bed. Cornered, Annie picked up a pillow and started swatting Lavinia with it.

  “Oh no you don’t, Annie.”

  Lavinia grabbed the end of the pillow and pulled. The fabric ripped and feathers flew into the air. Bubbles grabbed some feathers in his mouth, jumped off the bed, and ran circles around the room. Sweet Pea stretched out full length and pawed at a few wayward feathers on the quilt.

  Lavinia giggled.

  Annie giggled.

  Then both girls hopped on the bed, held hands, and jumped up and down. Sweet Pea bounced off the bed and landed feet first on the carpet which was covered with feathers. Bubbles charged him, and the two rolled around scattering feathers everywhere. The girls laughed until tears streamed down their faces.

  “I wonder what Mrs. Constance would say if she was to see the goings on in this room,” scolded Nancy as she stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. “You two had better start putting this room in order. What a mess!”

  The girls slid off the bed and picked up all the feathers. They handed the pillow case to Nancy, and burst out laughing again.

  “That’s enough. Miss Ellinor May has arrived, and you both look like something the cat dragged in.” Nancy caught each girl by the ear and dragged them over to the water basin. “For heaven’s sake! What is so funny?”

  “Annie was just making a joke!” said Lavinia.

  “Well, the joke is over. Put on your clean dresses and I’ll fix your hair.” Nancy fussed over the girls, hurrying them along. “I want you two to look your best. The General has been ailing for some time. He gets very excited when Miss Ellinor May comes to supper, and since he has chosen to dress for the occasion, it would be nice if you did too. This is a happy day.”

  Annie brought her tiara over to Nancy.

  “Now that’s exactly what I’m talking about!” Nancy pulled back part of Annie’s hair into a pony tail and pinned the tiara at the top. The rest of her hair curled around her shoulders. “Pretty as a picture. Your turn, Lavinia.”

  Nancy pulled Lavinia’s hair into an elaborate chignon and added a blue velvet bow to match her dress. “Let me take a look at you!”

  The girls twirled around.

  “Well, I guess you’ll do just fine. Off with you both!”

  The girls ran down the hall with Bubbles trailing after them. Nancy picked up the wet towels and said to Sweet Pea, who was lolling on the desk, “I’m glad to finally see a bit of misbehavin’ out of those two. It’s been far too quiet around here lately.”

  Ellinor May was visiting Constance and the General in the formal living room. The fire burned cheerfully in the fireplace, and George and Martha basked in its warmth.

  “How are my two students this evening?” inquired Ellinor May.

  “We’re doing very well,” said Lavinia.

  “How about you Annie? Are you going around on your own at all?”

  Annie hid behind Lavinia.

  “The little one likes a bit of company to get about. Nothing to be ashamed of, Soldier,” said the General. He turned to Ellinor May. “I’ve seen this sort of thing more than you know.”

  Ellinor May covered the General’s hand with her own. “Of course you have, Edward. Constance, have you met Reverend Mitchell’s new housekeeper yet?”

  “No, I haven’t, although Mrs. Lawson sent some things over. I understand that she has a baby.”

  “She does. Unfortunately, her husband died from influenza before the child was born. Apparently, she is a relative of Kathleen Murphy, who cleans for Father O’Malley. Mrs. Mitchell has been ailing lately, and it will be of g
reat benefit to have a housekeeper.”

  “Reverend’s a bit fussy if you ask me. She’ll have her work cut out for her,” said the General.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” said Constance. “Mrs. Lawson says Alma Fitzgerald is a wonderful woman, and I trust her good instincts when it comes to such matters. I believe that it will work out all right.”

  “Good instincts! She won’t even let George and Martha in the kitchen!”

  Ellinor May laughed. “Perhaps Mrs. Lawson’s people instincts are sharper than her canine instincts.”

  Dinner was a lively affair. Ellinor May had been staying with friends in Boston the past week, and related many entertaining anecdotes about her visit. The church social was going to be held the following month, and both Constance and Ellinor May were volunteering their time and services for the occasion. The whole town was looking forward to a successful event. Mrs. Lawson outdid herself with supper, and the General announced it was the best shepherd’s pie she had ever made. It was a most agreeable evening with much cheer and laughter, and Constance declared that she could not remember when she had enjoyed herself half as much.

  The General drove Ellinor May home, and Lavinia and Annie went upstairs to put on their nightclothes. Constance came in and rocked Annie, while Lavinia told her about the days’ events.

  “Grandmama, I read over my journal today.”

  “I am glad, Lavinia. What did you think about it?”

  “I understand the virtues better than I had before, but I also discovered that I still have much to learn.”

  “I believe that is true of us all, dear, no matter how old we are.”

  “I have worked hard this year to use my knowledge to improve my character but, Grandmama, when tragedy struck, I abandoned my goals and behaved as if I hadn’t learned anything at all.”

  “Why do you say that, Lavinia?”

  “I am sorry that I returned my gift to my father.”

  “I see. What would you like to do?”

  “I don’t know. I hoped that you might tell me.”

  “You must try to decide in what way you can make it right. I will help you in any way that I can, but the course of action must come from you.”