Velvet Exhale

by Beth Mikell

  Oddly enough, I didn't smoke on the way home or a crave too. In fact, the only craving I had was too see Noah again. I couldn't forget his face, the intensity of his shard-like, blue eyes or his amazing voice. I shuddered under his recent influence, drunk and needy, though I never could have imagined my Friday morning turning out like this. I grumbled and groused at Claire last night until the morning, hating the idea of going to the BDSM matchmaking club only to find...what? The most amazing man? Some kind of sensual-strange Dom that had issues with touching me?

  I couldn't be what he wanted, could I? Although, I'm not even sure I fully understood what he wanted. I mean he hasn't or won't kiss me until...what was it he said? I needed to hear him and feel him deeper than a touch. I needed to know I'm his. Oh, my God...his words were so sensual. What men experience I had fled in the face of one Noah Alexander.

  My three boyfriends, Stephen, Paul, and Max were nice but unable to meet my emotional or physical needs on any level--they were a passing fancy, yet hardly worth remembering. Chad was the closest to a lasting possibility, but hurt me with his penchant for other women.

  Coming home after a grueling day at work to find him sexing it up with some blonde bimbo in our bed cut off any future we planned. He was so stupid, he tried to pass it off as nothing, the asshole, but I couldn't forgive him. Later he said I was lousy in bed and couldn't meet any need of a real man. Ouch! That hurt more than anything did. Maybe I was lousy in bed...what could Noah possibly see in me? I'm just not very experienced, nor did I have much to offer if going by my past. I almost felt sorry for the disappointment waiting in the wings for one very sexy Dom. I ached to nip this in the ass before he found out the ugly truth of me.

  I made good time back to my apartment, before Claire and I immediately stripped down out of my skirt-suit and heels, focused entirely on taking my long awaited soothing bath. My eyes fell on the black gift bag and I debated on whether or not to open the phone.

  It didn't hurt to look, right?

  I flipped out the phone box and opened it. It's passed sophisticated. Sleek and thin with a touch screen with the words Sony Ericsson over the top. I ran my fingertip over it and the screen lit up, and I had a message waiting. I bit my lip with anticipation--almost crazy giddy. I hit the view button.

  *Dear Ms. Lourde, you breathed life into a new day, unexpected, and surprising. Call me when you get home so I know you are safe, baby. --N*

  My stomach clenched in a sweet, unfulfilled delight, flushing me hot as if he had spoken the words aloud. Goose bumps formed on my skin, sweat beaded on my brow with my heart palpitating fast. How could he do that from so far away? I never believed in the power of words, finding them lip service and full of emptiness from my past non-hero candidates. Two sentences from Noah and I'm a quivering mass of woman ready for all possibilities, wanting to share the unknown with him. And no one else. With my finger hovering over the call link, I pressed it. It rang only once.

  "Reyna?"

  His voice was a soft caress, all velvet and firm with a touch of relief threading through the rich timber of his distinct pitch. I gulped a fast pound of air. "Yes. I...I am home."

  I could hear his breath as if he'd been holding it in a tight inhale. "Are you alright?" he asked with concern.

  Am I? I'm reeling from the power of meeting him and my equilibrium was helter-skelter, tipping fast. "I'm good, Mr. Alexander."

  He chuckled, a warm, pleasurable sound. "How good? Normal good? Nervous good? Or running scared good? Please tell me because I can't see you to make my own assessment."

  I hesitated, trying to determine the same. "All the above."

  "Just don't run away," he whispered, a strange heartfelt plea that zinged through my ear straight through to my feminine sweet spot.

  "I can't promise, but I'm intrigued enough to discover more."

  "I'll take that as hope, Ms. Lourde," he said dryly. "Just take care of yourself until I see you again."

  "And that will be…?"

  A slight pause on the other end tipped me into unease since I'm not sure what he was planning. "Sooner than you can imagine. But, all in good time. I'll talk to you later."

  "Goodbye, Mr. Alexander."

  "No, never good bye, Ms. Lourde. Not as long as a chance remains."

  Before I could respond, he's gone and I pulled the phone away, staring down at the call’s disconnect message on the screen. For the first time, unbridled hope flooded my body, warming more than my blood.

  ~~~

  Instead of a bath, I jumped in the shower and dressed in my comfy yoga gear of gray Capri sweatpants and pink cami, running the towel through my sopping wet hair until most of the water was gone. I also dug out the cigarette patch from under the sink and slapped one on my arm. Not sure it would work, but I might as well give it a try. For a moment, I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to see through Noah's eyes. Good skin, my dark, red hair was perhaps too long to the middle of my back in layers and my gray eyes were steady, but ordinary in my opinion, framed by light lashes unless I covered them in a ton of mascara (a must). Pale, average height, a little on the thin side, but I never had to worry about my weight as other women seemed too. I shook my head. I honestly couldn't see the attraction.

  He was...mega hot and I'm...ordinary brown loafers to his Italian leather. Noah could obviously have any woman in the world, why me?

  Claire's arrival home interrupted my self-deprecating reverie and I hung up my towel to meet her. I found her in the living room plopping down on the sofa with a soft sigh.

  "Hey, how was your...lunch date?" I'm rewarded with a smile.

  "Gary is great, Reyna. We have a lot more in common than the Dom/sub thing. What luck huh? I'm happy I didn't go with the actor."

  I rolled my eyes. "Or the animal wacko."

  She visibly shuddered. "I know, right? He gave me the creeps and I wondered how such an upstanding and reputable club as Avalon could offer him as a candidate. I thought they were toying with my nerves and for twenty minutes, it worked. But, Gary is great, really. He's got a master's degree in investment banking, but after a few years of stress and a divorce he opened up his miniature golf business. It's been hard for him to find a woman interested in what he likes," she said. "How was your afternoon?"

  I paled under my already light skin. "Good."

  Claire's blue eyes narrowed with a stubborn tilt to her blonde head, eyeing me warily. "What's wrong?"

  Did I share? I'm resigned to tell her, she'll find out soon enough. "I...went to lunch with Noah Alexander."

  She bolted upright, concern on her face. "Shit, no! Are you kidding? Please tell me you're fucking kidding!"

  Yeah, she looked as horrified as I felt. I flipped my damp hair behind my back, and then folded my hands together. "No. I really went to lunch with him. He was...nice."

  "Nice? He's got power Dom written all over him and a rich bastard to boot. Reyna...he's probably not good for you," she cautioned softly.

  I considered her words carefully, wondering the same. "Do you know something I don't?"

  Claire shrugged. "He's a real-estate mogul and has been known to golf with Donald Trump. I've seen pictures of him with different super models, but otherwise I don't know anything. How was he with you?"

  "A gentleman," I offered...well he was, except for his desire for a Dom/sub relationship thing.

  My friend ran her tongue over her teeth, "Really? I'm so sure, but be careful, Reyna. Men like him can be dangerous."

  "Oh, says you with a new Dom," I scoffed gently.

  Claire rolled her eyes. "Yes says me with years of experience," she said with exasperation. "I...enjoy having a Dom, but you tend to migrate towards safe vanilla guys that probably wouldn't know how to give a woman a proper orgasm and think a hood is limited to a car. Nothing about Mr. Alexander screams vanilla, but rather dark, kinky bondage. I don't want you to get hit by his moody tidal wave."

  Her words provoked a deep-seated root to grow inside me. Maybe it was time fo
r dark bondage with an earth shattering orgasm. Hmmm? "I'll be safe, Claire. Besides, I haven't agreed to anything."

  She blew out a shocked laugh. "You mean...he's asked for something more? Damn him! Don't do it, Reyna. Take it from me, a man like him will eat you alive--and not in a good way."

  I remained quiet for a minute, considering what to ask. "How?"

  Claire's eyes widened. "How? Oh God...you're not actually considering something with him, are you?" Her voice rose by shrill degrees.

  I shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm just asking."

  She leaned forward. "Do yourself a favor and don't. Let me break a Dom down for you. His core philosophy is domination and control...something you detest in the modern world. You can't even pay your bills on time because you hate due dates. He will expect you to place him center stage in your life and frankly, I don't think you can do that. Sure, he will most likely fulfill every erotic heaven for you--if he's good enough, but still...he will want your submission to his will, Reyna. I honestly can't see you embracing that--not even a little."

  Nausea settled deep in my stomach, though I tried to pass it off. "Maybe it's time for fresh tactics," I laughed off...or try too.

  Claire's eyes flashed hot with anger. "This isn't funny," she snapped harshly. "He could really hurt you. How ready will you be to strip, kneel, and please him if he asks? It's not a game for him and you shouldn't play this like one," she said taking a deep breath.

  "Look, Reyna, I love you like a sister, but I don't want you to get hurt by a man we know nothing about. Sure a rich Dom, but what else? I just have your best interest at heart, okay?" For a submissive, Claire sure had a firm opinion on the subject and I should take her warning to heart.

  My phone made a loud ding from down the hallway and Claire frowned. "What was that?"

  "My new cell," I murmured, looking away.

  "Yeah? And when did you get that, may I ask? Or do I already know the answer?"

  Damn...I headed off down to my bedroom and looked at the phone. One message.

  *What is your favorite color? Don't ask me why. --N*

  I couldn't help but smile as I ran my hands over his words.

  "Well?"

  Startled, I looked up to find Claire in the doorway with a raised brow with a concerned expression over her pretty features. I shook my head. "Nothing."

  "Uh-huh. Should I now welcome you to Subspace?"

  I frowned. "Subspace? Oh come on, Claire! It's just a text message," I snapped with a hint of a smile on my lips.

  She shook her head. "Yeah right...on his gifted cell phone after his amazing lunch date. You can't speak circles around this submissive, missy. I've traveled this long road one too many times. He's hooked you...and slowly reeling you in," she said with a show of hands as if she was reeling in a fishing line.

  I cocked my head to the side, eyeing my best friend. "Would that be so terrible?"

  She exhaled theatrically, "No, not really. Just take it slow. There's more to a Dom/sub thing than just hot sex. Think of it as a boyfriend/girlfriend connection only with heightened add-ons. In a true relationship, being strong together is key. And remember I'm here for you." She walked into my room. "Now, hurry up and text him back. I'm sure he has the patience of a gnat!"

  I'm almost giddy as I hit the reply button.

  *Pink, but I am curious as to why. --R*

  His reply was almost instantaneous.

  *All in good time. Thinking of you. --N*

  "Now, let's see what your Android phone can do," Claire said with a smile.

  ~~~

  An hour later, Claire and I were still bent over my phone having discovered so many applications and cool options it was a wonder I hesitated so long in getting my own phone. True, I never wanted one because of my work related issue with my abhorrence to speaking on the phone afterhours, but there was so much more to do than talk. Music, reading, and surfing the internet--it was beyond my expectation. We were so engrossed in our discoveries that we both jumped at the sound of the doorbell.

  "I'll answer it," I murmured, heading off down the hallway.

  I found an overeager deliveryman standing with a large gold box with a pristinely wrapped white bow. "Delivery for Ms. Lourde," he announced with a dazzling smile. I nodded while he handed me a clipboard, "Please sign here."

  After scratching my name over the dotted line, he handed me the box and I couldn't help but grin and murmur my thanks as I closed the door. I turned around to find Claire eyeing me, arms folded with her eyebrow raised--smile in place while shaking her head.

  "He's got it bad."

  I snorted. "Oh? How do you know it's from him?"

  She rolled her eyes. "Gimme a break, baby doll. Lunch, a phone and now a delivery...the man is smitten. He's probably dreaming up more gifts and the next possible chance to see you. Classic got-it-bad syndrome."

  My heart trembled from her words and my hands shook as I set the large box on the dining room table and opened the bow, lifting the lid. I gasped. Two dozen long stemmed pink roses nestled in white tissue paper gleamed back up at me. Instantly, their pungent, sweet fragrance filled the air, delighting me. A strange tingling sensation powered up inside my long, dead feminine heart, womanly and exquisite. Only boyfriend number three, Max, sent me flowers once at work and only because I hinted for him too, which wasn't much of a gift. In fact, I ended up having to stop by the flower shop after work and shell out sixty dollars because he didn't have enough money to pay for them. This gift was much unexpected. I reached out and caressed one of the soft petals, lifting one stem out of the box, inhaling. Divine. Sweet. Fragrant. Such a sweet offering reminded me of the man…

  God...he was too much, too fast. No bounds.

  Claire rolled her eyes again. "Are you going to keep me in suspense? What does the card say?" She pointed down to the small folded envelope lying on top of the stems.

  I lay the rose back down and opened the card. It read…I hope this satisfies your curiosity, Ms. Lourde. I enjoyed meeting you today. Remember me tonight. --Noah Alexander.

  I handed Claire the card and she whistled through her teeth. "Talk about psychological warfare. Did I say smitten? I think he's already in love."

  I tried to stifle a smile by biting my bottom lip, but my grin split full on and I turned away to hunt down a vase. "Stop, Claire. He's just being nice, I'm sure," I muttered as I filled the vase with water. I'm deluding myself with outright lies, but I couldn't allow myself to believe in more. Not after one day. I'm so not ready to lose my heart and travel heartache's path of destruction a fifth time.

  "Uh-huh. Whatever you have to tell yourself, baby doll," she said with a smile and started helping me place the flowers in the crystal vase. "You should send him a message of thanks. He'll like that."

  I shot her a skeptical look. "A little over encouraging aren't you?"

  She shrugged. "He's romantic, and you deserve it. What's not to encourage? Sure beats my days of an overbearing mother and my current unemployment status. I'll take the visual romance blooming in front of my eyes any day." Claire looked down, but I still saw her tear up.

  I softened for her pain. I knew what kind of life she had and how hard it was for her. Her mother was none other than Ms. Joanna Smith, senator to be exact, who was a very hard, domineering woman from the top of her blonde head to her no nonsense manner. Ms. Smith’s brother molested Claire all those years ago and she now over compensated by sheltering her daughter a little too much. If she knew of Claire's penchant for BDSM, she'd freak.

  "Hey," I said, waiting for her to look at me. "You met Gary today. Maybe things will work out for you both. You were so happy when you came home, don't lose that focus, Claire. Besides, this thing with Mr. Alexander may not even work out--a passing fancy."

  She blew out a puff of air, "Yeah, right. This has forever stamped all over it. Classic, remember?"

  Before I could answer, the apartment phone rang and Claire headed off to answer it--must be for her because she gave a small wav
e and went to her bedroom, shutting the door. I took my amazing bouquet of roses off to my own bedroom and closed the door, setting them on my nightstand. I eyed them for a few moments, caressing the petals with a gentle touch. They were truly beautiful. My heart smarted and a warm, fuzzy feeling flooded my veins. I would like nothing more than to accept the unknown with Noah, but I'm honestly afraid.

  What was he after? Just sex?

  With a sigh, I took my phone and typed out a message…

  *Thank you for satisfying my curiosity. It was...unexpected and surprising. I'll remember you with a smile. --R*

  I used his words from earlier, but tacked on with a smile impulsively. I regretted that as soon as the message sent.

  Oddly enough, Noah didn't respond, which blew a hole in my expectation, but I pushed it out of my head, capping my uncharacteristic adolescent response. Get-a-grip repeated through my head and I remembered my mother called earlier today--a distraction so needed.

  With my new phone, I called home and my mother answered.

  "Hi Mom."

  "Reyna! Hi yourself, darling," she said inside a British accent after years of living in the USA. She met my father on a summer vacation with her family to Florida some forty odd years ago and never left. "I was just about to call you, but your father said you'd ring. Looks like he was right after all, smart man," she laughed and her smile touched me with happiness. "How was your day? What did you and Claire get up to in Tampa?"

  I'm happy she couldn't see me blush or she'd freak! My mother could read me like no one's business. "Shopping, but we really didn't find much."

  Okay, half lie--half-truth. We did theoretically shop for a new Dom for her--and Claire more-or-less bought the incentive package with Gary. I, more-or-less found a rich, no bounds man with beautiful blue eyes. However, I couldn't tell my mother that just yet. I'm so not ready for the Angela Lourde motherly protection inquisition speech that would be my announcement fallout.

  "What? You didn't find anything. Are you ill, darling? You love shopping."