Velvet Exhale

by Beth Mikell

  She and I never butted heads, yet she was definitely one person I never wanted to tangle with. Frankly, I gave her no reason to disapprove of me and she in turn, allowed Claire the opportunity to live here. She paid Claire's half of everything without question with the silent understanding I was to watch over her daughter. She never spoke any direct missive, but as my friend's more or less day-to-day guardian, I was to make certain nothing happened to her. I knew, deep down, if Senator Smith ever found out about Claire's taste for BDSM, she'd freak, yet I tried to keep my friend on the straight…hence my illustrious visit to Avalon last week. In some way, I felt 'knowing' her business helped me 'take care' of her or at least keep her out of danger.

  I didn't care about the apartment because most of it was my friend's belongings…I only cared about Claire. I swallowed back my evening's pain and faced the new problem head-on. As far as I was concerned, there was only one question to ask, "Senator, where is Claire?"

  Her eyes locked with mine, but she didn't answer me, directing her words to her assistant. "Clear the room, Jake," she ordered, her gaze still holding mine.

  I stepped fully into the room, waiting patiently as the apartment emptied of workers and the door shut with a decisive click.

  Senator Smith pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, shocking me. I had no idea she smoked. Only after a deep inhale…and exhale did she speak. "I never questioned Claire's friendship with you, Reyna. Do you know why?"

  I couldn't imagine where she was going with this and I shook my head. She made me feel like a cheating student ready for punishment. How ironic, considering I wasn't the cheater tonight! Stop it, I urged myself. I couldn't think about Noah right now or that my heart was shattered. I could only deal with one pain at a time or…breakdown--mental or otherwise.

  She drew another drag of her cigarette. "I considered you secure because you came from a well and safe middle of the road family without any drama. Quite frankly, I liked you the first moment we met and I never questioned your friendship with my daughter," she said, exhaling her smoke. "Sure, I had you investigated, but found nothing of interest--a perfect best friend for Claire--just what she needed."

  Still, I waited for the coconut moment to drop on my head, so sure there was more if going by her pack and run presence was anything to go by. "Were you aware of my daughter's dalliance with BDSM?"

  Oh God. This? Now? Her clear, blue eyes bespoke her knowledge of the truth and I dared not refuse her. "Yes," I breathed, my stomach twisting into a noose.

  She looked down at her lit flame, shaking her head. "Such a nasty habit, but calming nevertheless." She offered the cigarettes and lighter to me. "Have one. I have a feeling you're going to need it."

  I shook my head, my hand unconsciously reached up to caress the patch on my arm, yet the smell of smoke drenched my senses in a familiar welcome, though I couldn't give in--I wouldn't. My heart hammered in my chest as I waited painfully for the unknown bomb to drop from her perfect lips. "What happened?"

  Senator Smith blew out another stream of smoke. "Claire was beaten to a pulp tonight and nearly raped at a private BDSM party."

  Instant tears stung my eyes and sick dread overwhelmed my entire body as shock filled me. My hand shot up to cover my lips, the air of my lungs tanking in a fast swoosh. "Is she--"

  "Okay? No, she's not," she stated with a pinched expression. "She's in surgery as we speak. Her jaw broken, several ribs broken…collapsed lung and her right arm shattered." She snorted in disgust. "The jackhole nearly killed her."

  "God, who--"

  She smiled thinly. "Who did that? Well, it wasn't her new friend, Gary if that's what you're asking. But, someone else you know, Reyna. Does the name Brett Adams ring any bells?"

  Chapter 21

  "Pain is life, the sharper, the more evidence of life." - Charles Lamb

  The hot spray of the hotel shower beat down over my face and for long moments, I suffered under the heat, steam, and forceful jet hoping it would kill me or at least burn the pain festering in my heart. It didn't, but I wished.

  Nothing could have stemmed the flow of heartache after Senator Smith's insightful and mind buzzing revelations. Danny, God bless him, came back as promised, taking over the shit-circus unfolding before my eyes and heart. In less than a few hours, I'd lost two people I cared about in one fucked up night of horror. My best friend and the man…I thought I could trust with my heart. I blamed myself. Both were irrevocably my fault.

  And Brett?

  From the Senator's lips to my ears, I learned of his sordid delight in female humiliation--a glorified woman-hater. His history for abuse ran deeper than the national debt and I…had no damned idea! He acted so…vanilla…so normal, but it had been just that--an act. Brett had a desire for debasing the female sex, making them grovel until he snorted enough cocaine to beat them into submission. His assault and battery rap sheet spanned several states, though he'd been clean in the state of Florida…until now.

  God, his list of accolades provided by Claire's mother unraveled my stomach far into disgust, and I barely managed to throw up in an empty packing box nearby, while Danny held my shoulders, threatening the Senator with his brand of bodily harm if she didn't shut up.

  Worse still…the Senator refused to tell me anymore of Claire's condition or allow me to see her, her words rushed up in my mind.

  "You will stay away from my daughter, Reyna. No visitation. No inquiry and no contact. Don't even breathe her name aloud because as far as I'm concerned, she never knew you."

  Danny snorted. "This isn't Reyna's fault, Joanna. You can't blame her for your daughter's injuries or sick desires," he fumed, his English accent clipped and harsh.

  She lifted a perfect brow, completely unflustered and calm. "Can't I? Apparently, Brett Adams didn't care for Reyna's refusal to date him and took it out on my daughter. Careful, Daniel, I won't have this conversation with you. My daughter needs to heal…then complete mental care. I never want to see either of your faces--ever again," she said, tossing her finished cigarette atop my vomit in the box, the instant hiss beyond disgusting. "Just for knowledge, the asshole that attacked Claire is behind bars thanks to quick maneuvering and the fact her so-called friend Gary helped catch him. I plan to see that Brett Adams never breathes free air another fucking day of his miserable life."

  The Senator crossed to the front door, turning for her parting farewell. "Claire's half of the rent/utilities are paid until the end of the month, Reyna. If the movers packed anything of yours, I will see that it's returned via UPS. Under the circumstances, you will forgive me, if I don't say good night because quite frankly, there isn't one goddamned thing good about it."

  The vibration of the door slamming still echoed in my ears. Even now, my body shook and my blood chilled frozen under the massive showerhead continuing to pelt me with heat from overhead. It had been such a hollow, empty sound for the night's god-awful demise--a blistering hot auditory sensation ready to peel me apart and destroy me.

  Gone.

  Everything.

  After the decimating finale, Danny packed an overnight bag for me and whisked me to a hotel, citing a change in location the best thing. I couldn't even protest as he took charge and blanketed my pain--I was too empty to care.

  I sank to the floor of the shower, drawing up my knees and cried into my hands. I allowed free rein of my heart to pour out…sobbing until my head, eyes and even my teeth hurt, all the while choking on the warm water running into my mouth. I wished to drown…as stinging arrows jabbed right through my soul--ready to burst into flames. I never experienced self-loathing, but the new taste bloomed on my tongue.

  With haunting movements, I stood and shut off the water…realizing for the first time I was still fully clothed in Noah's gifted dress, which clung to my skin with sickening conclusion. I tore at the zipper, yanking with all my might to rid the soggy dress from my body, and the bra and panties followed until I stood naked and shivering.

  Fresh tears stung my
eyes, and slipped down my cheeks--forgotten soldiers of unclean relief. I felt so…dirty, soiled…and impure. I was completely branded a traitor to my flaming heart, failing on every moral standard I'd ever been raised to believe in. My whole world…trashed.

  "Reyna?" Danny knocked on the bathroom door. "Are you alright?"

  I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice failed. What the hell was there to say? I wasn't all right--and may never be. Instead, I grabbed a hotel bathrobe, donning it before opening the door. I stood a sopping, wet mess in the doorway unable to think…my mind shutdown.

  Between us, Danny held…my phone. My eyes were drawn to the familiar name flashing over the screen…Noah.

  "He's been calling nonstop. I finally placed the damned ringer on silent. What do you want to do?"

  In a fast instant, I grabbed the phone from my cousin's waiting hand, and stomped my way over and out to the double French doors. With barely a thought or hesitation, I chucked the phone over the balcony and straight down into the pool six floors below. No relief came, nothing, as I observed the device sail through the air, splashing into the waiting pit of Olympic-sized proportions.

  Danny's hands descended on my shoulders from behind and I whimpered against the comfort, biting my lip to keep from crying…yet again.

  "Shh, it is okay, Reyna," he whispered, gathering me close in a familiar embrace--a caring and brotherly fashion he always gave me as a child.

  It worked then…but not now. I was no longer a little girl with a skinned knee or lost cat in need of saving. I was emotionally fucked.

  I shook my head. "No. No, it's not okay." He couldn't fix it this time--no one could.

  He hugged me tighter before turning me to face him. "You can't let any of this stop you from being the remarkable, successful woman you've come to be in life. I won't let you.”

  Before I could reply to that half-baked remark, the doorbell chimed and I frowned.

  "It's Liz. I rang for her and delicately indicated the situation. Since she witnessed round one, I asked her to come over for hurricane relief efforts," he explained with a small smile, bulldozing over my attempt at protest, but he sobered. "You shouldn't be alone tonight, Reyna. I've a room next door and we'll take care of you. She and I plan to tag-team our efforts."

  Danny squeezed my shoulders in another reassuring gesture, and then went off to invite Liz to my pity party of three where I hosted and my cousin the venue. Fun times.

  I walked back through the French doors, greeted by Liz pushing Noah's muscular chest from the door, her voice whispered, yet clearly pissed. Danny tried to help her, but Shem, Noah's bodyguard, knocked him out of the way.

  Noah's feral gaze locked with mine and I was rooted in place, the familiar desire to be within his comforting arms bled out through my veins making me shake. He hadn't changed, his white clothes crisp and fresh, yet the strained set to his lips and wild eyes indicated his pain…mirroring my own. The love in my heart choked me, sinking me further and further into an abyss of darkness I'd never been in my life.

  As Shem raised his fist against Danny, I bellowed, "Stop!" Fists stilled midair and hands lowered, and everyone turned to stare at me. "Enough," I managed and silence deafened the room for several long seconds.

  "Are you okay?" Noah asked his voice tortured and pain-filled.

  I shook my head. Fact was, it hurt to breathe and his presence amped the trauma scale by one million. "I need to speak with you."

  "Reyna, no!" Danny fumed, turning to glare at me. "You don't need this shit right now." He lifted his hand towards Noah.

  "I supposed your four course meal of drama is exactly mouthwatering," Noah returned, his jumpy cheek action back in place. "Back off, Robb."

  "I never lied to her, douche bag. Don't confuse me with you," my cousin retorted.

  Before Noah formed a reply, I blazoned on. "Danny, one friend in the hospital is enough."

  He snorted, pushing passed Noah and Shem, dragging Liz behind. Danny paused to glare at him, "If you make one more tear fall from her eyes, I'll fucking bury you--in pieces."

  Noah's hands balled into fists at his side, his dark gaze piercing and dangerous with anger--controlled at best.

  "Danny, please," I said softly, watching the doorway clear, the door shut and left alone with Noah's presence beating a wild, untamed comfort-pain through my soul. As wrong as it may be, I needed him.

  Noah moved towards me. "Don't!" I took a step back.

  He stilled, his face twisted in anguish. "Baby, please," he breathed. "I want to hold you."

  My breath hitched and my heart slammed against my ribs. I wanted that more than living, but...I couldn't. I shook my head. "No. You're still…" Engaged. All my words failed and betrayed my equally suffering heart.

  Noah looked away, treading a frustrated hand through his tussled, black hair. "Fuck…" He whispered, meeting my gaze. "Jordan Wright is the best ass-jack in the entire world. Rich, but no ethic motive beyond his next dollar gained and his daughter followed suit. Granted, I fucked the football with my stupidity in regards to her--"

  I held up my hand. "I don't want to hear anymore. It doesn't change anything," I snapped, shaking my head as my heart continued to stab my rib cage with high-speed velocity.

  He took a step closer. "The hell it doesn't! Everything changed the moment I saw you, Reyna--my whole life changed," he bit out, taking another few steps. "Our life changed."

  Tilting my chin up, I crossed my arms. "How long have you known who I was?"

  Noah's lips pressed together, his jumpy cheek action full on. "From day two. Not too many people have the last name Lourde. A quick inquiry answered all my questions, but that's not why I pursued you," he said, shaking his head. "If you recall, I wanted you from the first moment you walked across the parking lot and not a goddamn thing has changed my feeling."

  "Except your engagement," I sneered. I was passed caring how ugly I could be--he needed to suffer, and jabbing his heart, my only defense.

  "And you promised you'd never run--that you'd trust me no matter what," he countered. "I withheld some details so I could dump their lying, blackmailing asses to the curb. How much understanding would you’ve had knowing a video tape of illicit sex acts and a forced marriage over a piece of prime real estate fucked me over? If I'd told you every sordid bullet point, would you have trusted me? Even a little? I think not. I gambled. I lost."

  Nausea threatened my twisting stomach. "So, you played master of all you surveyed and lied to me. Great choice." I gasped as Noah gathered me in his arms, surprising me. I hadn't realized how close he maneuvered across the room. God, his arms lifted the unholy nightmare and me far out of self-disgust in my heart. I shouldn't want it, but I did.

  "I never played you," he whispered, his mouth grazing my quivering flesh. "I fell in love with you, red." His lips flowed over mine.

  I moaned as heat zipped me far into pleasure, chasing the demons and every rational thought. I simply didn't care about anything as his tongue swirled into my mouth, stealing my breath. His velvet exhale transformed the darkness, enclosing me in a balmy, hedonistic delight. Noah's taste, rich and smooth, fought the lies, erased the pain, and sealed the hurt. My heart bloomed with hope and for the first time this evening, it was stronger than my fears. He loved me…oh my. He admitted it and I…buckled under its wonder.

  Noah pulled back, his moist lips a hair from mine as his breath heaved. "I need you, Reyna. I need your sassy mouth, lovely heart, incredible body, and love--I need your love more than anything. I can beat the whole world with you beside me."

  Any joy I felt, fled in the face of the word 'beat'. Fractured images of Claire lying in the hospital fighting for her life killed my remote happiness. "I...can't," I breathed. "You're…still not free. And Claire…oh my god." I tried to push out of his arms, but the steel bands of muscle, tightened harder.

  Noah brought his hand up to cup my face, forcing me to meet his amazing, yet feral gaze. "Look at me, Reyna. I spoke to Senator Smith, the
re's no question of your guilt towards Claire. I fixed it. I can take you to your friend right now, if you like. I won't allow anyone to hurt you…myself included," he whispered, caressing his fingertips over my lips. "Don't you know how much you changed me inside one week? I'm not the same man--except my deep love for the sexiest, yet stubborn woman in the known universe. With the exception to Sarah, no other woman has claimed my attention. No one."

  The small amount of elation regarding Claire dove south as I pushed out of his arms, and he didn't prevent me. "And the blackmail? How long do you have before that explodes in your face? How long before another woman knocks on the door…aiming to expose your dark secrets to the world?" I cried, uncaring he grew pale under his tanned skin.

  "I have a list," he said quietly.

  I gasped. "What?"

  His face darkened with truth. "Every woman, every hotel room…"

  I'm speechless…disgusted and I gaped like an insignificant fool I allowed him to play me for. Usually, the queen protected the king, but checkmate--I lost all ground, sinking fast.

  He sighed. "I'm revoltingly rich, Reyna. I needed a measure of insurance against possible threats, but I never banked on Jasmine and her father pulling the upper hand. She studied my…preferences and created an inviting trap…baited and hooked. As far as I'm concerned, they can drag, expose, and fuck my good name. They can--"

  "Stop it!" I placed my hands over my ears, childish, but I couldn't hear any more.

  Noah gently pulled my hands down, his hands caressing over my wrists and his expression tender. "No more, Reyna. Baby, please…" he begged. "Let me show you how much nothing of that matters. Let me gift you the greatest thing I have to offer."