Promise Me This
Page 8
“Hey guys, I think both of you are getting ahead of yourselves, and I feel like if I don’t stop this now, I’ll have to turn into a referee while you guys duke it out.” Ginger pushed her way in between us since neither one of us planned to back down from the other. I completely forgot she was still there. Jhett seemed to elicit the most passionate responses from me, taking me from zero to twenty in five seconds, regardless of what emotion it was. “Charlie, why don’t I take you home to get some stuff? Jhett’s right, you shouldn’t be alone tonight. You’re still shaking.” She placed an uncharacteristically gentle hand on my arm. Looking down, I realized that she was right. My hands were still trembling, but I couldn’t be sure if it was from my earlier fear or from the urge to slap Jhett across the face for thinking he could just decide things for me.
“I’ve got it covered, Gracie.” Jhett took his eyes off me for the first time since he tried to play alpha dog with me. The look he gave Ginger wasn’t any nicer than the daggers he bore into me.
“It’s fine, Jhett. I don’t mind. That is, as long as Charlie’s okay with it.” She gave me the slyest wink that was meant only for me. She still had her hand on me, but this time she slipped her arm under mine, practically linking us together.
An irritated nod was all I could manage. Something was off. “That’s okay with me.” I couldn’t stand to see the look on Jhett’s face. I knew that he was furious, and as much as I hated being the cause, the new Charlie stood up for herself. Besides, he was the one who told me to do that.
Ginger didn’t say another word as she started propelling me towards the door, only stopping to grab her keys from the couch. We paused for just a minute, long enough for her to turn around and look back to where Jhett stood. I watched her mouth ‘not cool, bro’ to Jhett, either not knowing or not caring that I could read lips. She was right, though. That wasn’t cool of him.
We sat in silence inside Ginger’s apple red VW beetle. The tiny car still held that new car smell, making me wince just a little, realizing what that meant. Cameron’s accident had totaled her car and this was her new one, the one Cameron would never see. Taking a deep breath, I tried to clear my mind, but my moment of meditation was short lived when we pulled up to the apartment. As we walked up the steps, I felt the fury come back in full force.
“I mean, who does he think he is? My dad? He gets to decide what I do now? He’s lost his mind if he thinks I’m moving in. I can’t go back there. I’m not the crazy one, here.” I threw my hands in the air, storming through the front door and flinging myself onto the couch.
Ginger saved me from letting my true southern girl come out on him, because I was ready to light a fire under his ass. She made her way into the living room in a dream-like state, glancing at things, lingering longer on some items than others. When it finally hit me, I felt like the worst person to ever walk the Earth. Ginger hadn’t been to Cameron’s since he died. My stomach was heavy with guilt. Here I was whining about someone who wanted to care about me, and she lost the person who cared about her. I wanted to say something, but everything I came up with wasn’t as profound as I wished.
She broke the silence first. “I can’t apologize for the way that Jhett’s acting. I know he seems like he flew off his rocker, but it’s all he knows. He’s a protector and even though he’s my little brother, he kept me safe growing up, and he still tries to now.” Her face softened, and only traces of a smile were left as sadness clouded her eyes. “I’m sure you can understand that.”
I swallowed, forcing a lump down my throat. I knew what she was talking about; Cameron was the same way, but it still didn’t make what Jhett did right. “I’m sorry about Cameron. Jhett told me how much he meant to you.”
She shifted from one foot to the other, still acting unsure as to where she was supposed to stand in the room. “Thanks. I’ve never had that kind of love before. Although, I’m sure you don’t want to hear all the nitty gritty details. He loved you, too, you know.” She flashed me a lopsided smile, one that I knew all too well. It said ‘I’m only smiling to keep from showing you how I really feel’. “So go pack your bag, at least.” She motioned to my suitcase; the shift in her tone let me know that she was done talking about Cameron.
“I, uh…didn’t we talk about this? I said I wasn’t going back.” I shook my head back and forth, trying not to get too worked up again.
“Well, here’s the deal, Charlie. My brother is never going to let me live it down if I don’t bring you back there tonight, and between you and me, he’s already up my ass about enough things. I’m not telling you that you have to move in, but think about your options for a minute. You’ve got what, two days left until you’re supposed to be out of here? And how many places have called you back?” She paused, as if waiting for me to answer. All I gave her was a hard, cold stare.
“None. I’m the queen of games, girl, so don’t try and play this one with me. Jhett wouldn’t hurt a fly. Sure he looks like a badass, but he’s anything but. He lets his passionate side take over sometimes, which believe me, isn’t a bad thing to let happen. You need people on your side every once in a while.” She had made her way into the kitchen, her hair falling in her face as she pulled the napkin she’d given to Cameron off the fridge. “I can’t believe he kept this…” Her voice was hushed and low, but I could still hear her from my place on the couch.
She got lost in the memories of Cameron while I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop myself from thinking about how much Jhett actually told Ginger about me. It was clear she wasn’t a stranger to my situation. “I’m all for passion and having someone in my corner, but not someone who’s going to command around me like I’m some sort of lost child. He of all people should know better than to do that.” I was teetering on the border of an endless rant zone again.
“To be perfectly frank, he’s probably sitting back at the house praying that he didn’t scare you off. Just go back and sleep on the couch again, or something. Even I don’t want you alone after seeing you trample into Jhett’s place like that, all shaky and crying. That was no joke.” She was still rubbing the napkin between her fingers, glancing at it every few seconds as if to check and see if it was still there.
“Fine. I’ll go back for the night. But I’m not moving in.” I pointed my finger at her, as if to prove a point, and threw the rest of my stuff into the bag in front of me. I didn’t have much to begin with, so it was only packed with bare essentials I would need for the night. Finishing, I tossed the tiny duffel bag over my shoulder. Ginger lingered where she was, lost in her own world again. “Hey, why don’t you keep that? Cameron would’ve wanted you to have it.” I placed my hand on top of her snow-white arm, just like she had done to me back at Jhett’s. It was hard to place the connection I felt with Ginger. She was closed off from me, except for small windows where she acted like she cared.
Her honey-colored eyes were suddenly bright again. “Thanks.” She shoved the napkin into her pocket and snapped back into her sassy self. “You ready?” she asked, looking around uneasily.
I shrugged, hoping that I made the right decision. “Yeah, let’s get this show on the road.”
As Ginger’s beetle pulled back up in front of Jhett’s house, she barely missed taking out the mailbox. I contemplated what I was about to walk into once I stepped through the door. I knew just one more crack, one more chip, and I wouldn’t be able to hold it together anymore. Something was going to happen, and I wasn’t sure if the pending explosion would be good or bad.
“So are we going to sit here all night and contemplate life? Or are you going to get in there and do that weird hugging thing you guys did earlier?” My head jerked towards Ginger in the driver’s seat and I caught her wrinkling her nose at me, repulsed by her own thoughts.
“We don’t do weird hugging things. I was just…scared,” I snorted back defensively, leaving out the part where I thoroughly enjoyed being in those arms. I shook my head in an attempt to rid myself of those warm and fuzzy thoughts.
I slung my bag over my shoulder and made a last minute decision to confront him about his actions. I wasn’t going to let him or anyone else tell me what to do. I was a new Charlie, and he of all people should know it by now. Before I could even reach the last step that led to his door, Jhett appeared in the doorway, just a broad shadow in the light behind him; his hand absentmindedly going to that spot on the back of his neck that he rubbed when he was nervous.
“You came back,” he stated, his breath hitching on each word as confusion tried to surface on his face.
Keeping my word, I brushed past him and tossed my bag off my shoulder and onto the couch as soon as I made it through the entryway. “I almost didn’t come back, Jhett. You shouldn’t just spout off demands like that to people. It’s arrogant, not to mention RUDE. What did you think I was going to do? Throw myself at you and thank you for saving me?” I whipped around to face him as he stood near the now closed door. I felt empowered; I was all ‘Woman! Hear me roar!’
He shook his head, that one-sided half smile dancing on his lips again. It was the one that always seemed to shoot down any hopes of logical thinking after I caught a glimpse of it. “I’m not sure how many times I have to tell you, but you don’t need saving. That being said, I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for coming off too harsh and acting like that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so panicked before and, since we’re being honest, it scared me. I’ve felt so helpless lately, and I just felt like I couldn’t be there to protect you if you moved. And I know you don’t need protecting, but I want to be there for you, Charlie. I want to be your friend.” He closed the gap between us while he spoke, my legs pushed as far as they could go against the back of the couch. He was close enough so that if I reached out, I could touch him, but I still had room to take a step forward if I wanted.
“My friend?” I questioned, looking up at him through the veil of waves that fell across my face; uncertainty stained my voice. I wasn’t sure why his last sentence caught me off guard. I knew that we were friends - he proved that to me and I knew I could depend on him. But I also knew that I wasn’t the only one who needed to push away the what-if thoughts, or, at least I thought I wasn’t the only one.
“Yeah. Friends.” Jhett’s voice sunk to that low tone that that made me fight against the gravity in the room that threatened to take me down at the knees. With each word he crept forward, putting even less space between us than before. His eyes never left mine; easily making it so I couldn’t look away. I was stuck where I stood, with no room and no desire to move.
Time moved slower than I ever experienced. Jhett’s scent was all around me, the perfect mixture of the woods during a storm, causing my eyes to close just a few seconds longer than I expected. A tingling heat was suddenly radiating on to my cheeks, making me open my eyes again. Jhett’s hands found their way to my face, resting right along my jaw, as his thumbs softly explored the freckles that littered across my cheeks.
His eyes burned desire. I should have told him to stop; friends don’t look at each other like that. It was almost as if he knew my thoughts when his lips found mine, placing only the slightest pressure against them, but the spark that ignited inside me could rival fireworks on the Fourth of July. His lips fit perfectly with mine. They were made to kiss me, and my body was meant to be in his arms. My hands grabbed on to to his beautifully inked wrists, holding them for balance as my body swayed closer to him.
Before I could satisfy myself with more of him, Jhett pulled away, his breath shallow as he attempted to regain his composure. His eyes remained shut as he brought our foreheads together. I tried to memorize every detail of his face, every piece of him that I may overlooked, because I was about to make one of the hardest decisions of my life.
“Jhett, I…I can’t. Friends don’t…” I was equally as breathless, my words coming from somewhere that my body couldn’t comprehend as he dropped his away hands from my face. I was left with an empty feeling on my skin where they just touched me with so much need. I didn’t know what I meant - I didn’t want to say those things.
I stood up straight and absently realized just how much taller he was than me, or maybe I was feeling particularly small for stopping the one single kiss that ever elicited that kind of feeling through my body. The heat in his eyes disappeared, and instead, regret was written all over his face. He thought that he hurt me, when in reality, it was me who hurt him.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m just…I’ve got to go….” Jhett came apart at the seams, trying to avoid any contact with me and rubbing his forehead with the same hands that I didn’t want to be anywhere but back on my skin. He turned his body toward the door. He was going to walk away.
“Hey!” I shouted after him, grabbing his hand as he turned away from me. I knew I made the wrong decision earlier as a new sensation fell over me, starting from the inside out. I didn’t just want Jhett; I needed to feel what he made me feel only moments ago. I needed that to be real. Placing his hand on my hip, I only had a few seconds to take in his surprised expression before I reached up and brought his face down to mine, mimicking his actions just minutes earlier.
I knew my answer. Jhett wanted me just as much as I wanted him. The way his lips came crashing down onto mine proved it. There was no soft, gentle touch this time around. He devoured me, his tongue dancing with mine, passion emanating from him and I wanted more; desire burned in my belly. I felt the unfamiliar roughness of his facial hair against my forearm as my arm circled around his neck, my fingers lacing through his hair, grabbing and pulling handfuls ever so slowly.
The deep, throaty groan that came from Jhett was enough to put me over the edge right there, causing a tiny squeak of pleasure to escape through my parted lips. He responded to my body by picking me up as if I weighed nothing. My legs wrapped around his waist and he walked both of us towards the kitchen counter.
Every chance I got I pulled him closer to me. There was no way I could get enough of him. I wanted every touch and every kiss to last forever. Jhett never broke contact with me as he set me down on the counter, finding a spot perfectly between my legs. His lips moved from mine, trailing greedy kisses down my jaw, stopping right below my ear on my neck. With one swift movement he brushed my hair away and wrapped one arm around my back, making sure I wasn’t going to go anywhere.
My head fell to the side, exposing as much skin as possible for Jhett to explore. I wanted him to taste every part of me. My fingers danced over his tattoos on the arm that steadied us on the counter top. My eyes closed briefly as Jhett took what he wanted and nibbled at my flesh. I almost got lost in the colors and details in the ink that spread up to his shoulders, had I not felt the sudden lack of body contact between us.
Jhett panted heavily, both his arms placed on either side of me on the counter. Mine found their way around his shoulders, twirling the hair I could grasp in between my fingers as I kissed my way from the collar of his plain white signature tee up his neck and to his swollen lips.
“Charlie, are you sure you’re okay with this? We can stop. We can go back to how things were going to be.” He leaned back just out of my reach, putting the brakes on my trails of kisses. My heart sank when I saw the conflicted look on his face.
I pulled his hand from beside me and placed it on my chest, my heart beating so fast, I knew he wouldn’t be able to deny what I was about to say. “Do you feel that? No one has ever made my heart race like that before.” My hand stayed on top of his. “So don’t tell me we can go back to how things were before. I don’t want to. I want whatever we are now, right in this moment.” My words surprised not only Jhett, but myself as well. I was never one to jump into things with both feet. I always held back in the past, but right now, I would hate myself forever if I let him walk away and think that I didn’t wa
nt this too. That I didn’t need this.
Jhett’s free hand swept the tangled hairs that fell in my face and pushed them behind my ear. He leaned forward with ease and placed his warm lips against my forehead. Such a single, tender action only added fuel to the fire inside of me.
Pushing off from the counter and landing on my now mysteriously bare feet, I took off in slow strides across the hardwood floor toward Jhett’s bedroom at the end of the hall. I never went in it, but I knew it was there. He always left his door open and the bathroom was down the same hallway.
Reaching the doorway, I paused and glanced back over my shoulder. My eyes trailed from the floor up to Jhett, who still stood next to the counter of the island, seemingly undressing me with his eyes. My pulse rushed in my ears as I stole one more look in his direction and then stepped into Jhett’s bedroom.
The room I stood in was nothing like the glimpse you could see from the doorway, and definitely not like the rest of the house. The walls were painted obsidian black, which stood out from the harsh contrast of the light hardwood floors. One wall was made up entirely of ceiling-to-floor red curtains, while the opposite wall had the entrance to the bathroom and another smaller room. His bed was much larger than anything I ever saw before; it was made up of dark cherry wood and covered in gray and white sheets that looked like heaven. Above the bed were a few lights, along with a long, abstract painting of the beach.
I was speechless as I let myself get caught up in the essence of Jhett that filled his room. It was dark and sultry, just the way that he was with me. Running my hands over the matching dark wood dresser, my thoughts drifted to how many girls had been in the same position as me, captivated by him and the manner in which he knew how to make a girl go weak.
“It’s amazing how good you look in my room.” Jhett’s voice startled me, my neck snapping to look at him as he leaned against the closed door, his arms crossed over his chest. Seeing him like that reminded me of the night he chased me down in the street, except that this time, instead of his arrogant remarks irritating me, it made my desire for him burn that much more. Something released between us with that kiss, or maybe I finally let go of my inhibitions. “You know, you’re the first girl to actually be in here.” He made his way over to me and snaked his arms around my waist, exploring the flesh that was exposed on my back as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He nuzzled his face against me, leaving wet kisses on the most sensitive spots.