A Very Merry Superhero Wedding (Adventures of Lewis and Clarke)

by Kitty Bucholtz

  The girl danced around him for a minute, then began pulling off her jersey. Joe assumed she must have something on underneath since it was a public place, but he wasn’t prepared for the University of Michigan cheerleader uniform. The hooting and hollering got louder. He hoped the Wolverine fans wouldn’t start knocking around the rival Fighting Irish fans.

  The girl had fantastic abs. The thought had barely formed when she did a backwards flip in front of him. She broke into a suggestive cheer that fit the occasion and proceeded to shimmy and shake in a most delightful way.

  Suddenly some guy Joe didn’t know reached out and grabbed at her. She was in the middle of a cheerleading move so he didn’t get a good hold before she jumped away.

  Joe was out of his chair a second later, but two of his friends had already gotten between the newcomer and the dancer.

  The guy called out something crass. Obviously drunk, if the slurring and smell were any indication.

  “This is a private party,” Carl said, reaching his hand out to turn the guy toward the door.

  “Get your hands off me,” the guy’s voice got ugly and he pushed Carl.

  Joe stepped up just as a few more unknowns broke through the crowded doorway. “Now that’s enough,” he said firmly.

  Eddie stepped to Carl’s other side. The three brothers were lumberjack-huge, Hannah always said. Joe knew they made an imposing barrier.

  Apparently not imposing enough for the heavily inebriated. One of drunk #1’s cohorts swung at Eddie who easily ducked. Darian, behind him, didn’t see the swing coming until it almost landed. He moved enough to take it on the shoulder. As he spun, Darian swung his leg out wide to trip the guy.

  As in, swung his legwayout. Not all of his friends were superheroes, and Joe didn’t want anyone — especially Tori’s brother — asking questions about strange things they thought they saw. He needed to stop thisnow.

  “No, guys, let’s just—” That was all he got out.

  He ducked a punch and looked around for the girl. She was safely surrounded by the younger brothers and Mickey. Though Mickey was rolling up his sleeves.

  He saw Bull pick up one of the drunks and haul him out of the room in a fireman’s carry. If there had been a snowbank, he was sure his friend would’ve happily dropped the guy into it. For all that Bull was huge and stronger than any normal man, he was a bit of a pacifist.

  Not so for most of the rest of Joe’s friends, if prevailing activity counted for anything. One of his friends grinned as he ducked a punch and threw his own.

  Joe turned to ask Carl to help him carry the drunkards outside. He walked right into a punch in the jaw. Ow. His strength came from absorbing the tensile strength of any metal he touched. Unfortunately, he wasn’t wearing any metal right now. So much for off-duty.

  The moment of pain destroyed his good intentions. Joe grabbed the guy in a chokehold and pulled one of his arms behind his back till he cried out. Then he walked the guy out of the bar.

  Well, Joe walked. Drunk #3 couldn’t quite keep his legs under him. The bar’s security man met Joe outside, giving Joe a brusque nod as he let the drunk fall to the ground.

  By the time he walked back into the private room, the ruckus was mostly over. The unwanted company had been cleared out, and half of the guys were already eating again.

  “Not even a spilled beer,” exclaimed one of Joe’s normal friends with a grin. “Happy bachelor party, old man!”

  Joe couldn’t help but chuckle. He slapped his friend’s back and walked over to where the dancer stood. Stuart and Kevin were obviously enjoying assuring her of her safety. They looked a little googly-eyed, in fact.

  “I’m sorry about that,” Joe said to her. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, thanks,” she said. “A little more exciting than I thought it would get, though. I heard you’re a preacher’s kid. I figured this would be tame.”

  “You and your friends certainly know how to fight,” added Kevin.

  Joe ran one hand through his hair, feeling a little embarrassed and not sure how to respond.

  “Even preacher’s kids grow up to be strapping young men,” Stuart said to the girl.

  He must’ve realized how ridiculous that sounded right after the words came out of his mouth. He turned red and struggled to say something else, anything else. “Pizza?”

  The girl bit her lip, smiled, and shook her head.

  “Really,” Joe said, thinking that sounded like a gentlemanly thing to offer, “can we buy you dinner? Get you something to drink?”

  “Um,” she paused, looking around at the roomful of men yelling at TVs and eating and drinking with both hands. “Did you want me to finish?”

  Joe smiled at her like he would have at one of his sisters’ friends. “That’s okay, you were great. Nice bit with the football rivalry.”

  She nodded toward Joe’s friend, Tom, currently cheering on a play by the Irish. “Tom thought it would be funny.”

  Before Joe could respond, Kevin spoke up. “You want to hang out and watch the game? There’s plenty of food.”

  She paused, considering, and Joe was certain Kevin would be shut down. Then she shrugged and nodded. “Sure.”

  She followed Kevin over to a pile of plates. Joe and Stuart watched for a moment as the two laughed at something, then looked up at the game and whooped.

  Stuart shook his head. “During the fight, he told her he was pre-med.”

  Joe laughed. “Didn’t I tell you? You need a sexier major than computer science. Hey, he didn’t see anything, did he?”

  “I thought you were supposed to tell her already?”

  “I’m going to. But that doesn’t mean her family is ever going to know. I’m pretty sure our secrets will have to keep forever where they’re concerned.”

  Stuart shook his head. “I don’t think he saw anything more than a bar brawl with some guys who know how to fight.”

  Joe nodded. “Thanks for taking care of things over here.”

  Stuart shrugged. Then he looked up at Joe and grinned. “You gonna tell Mom if I have a beer tonight?” he asked. “We’ve got a line of cabs coming at eleven. We already arranged with the bar owner that everyone would pay twenty bucks for overnight parking.”

  “If I don’t see anything, I won’t have to lie.” Joe hit his fist gently against his brother’s arm. “Three more months and we’ll give you a twenty-first birthday party to beat the band.”

  “Yeah?” They walked over to get some food. “There gonna be girls?”

  Chapter 6

  TORI and Lexie held tightly to Ben’s wrists so his hands didn’t slide out of his mittens. “One, two, three,” they sang out, pulling him up high in the air and dropping him to his feet.

  Close to four inches of snow had fallen last night, and all three of them wanted to walk to church this morning. Their breath puffed out into the cold air and their boots crunched on the snow. They swung Ben up in the air again. This time he didn’t put his feet down so that he landed on his knees.

  The equivalent of “Make a snow angel, Mommy,” came out in his broken toddler English.

  “No, Benji,” Lexie scolded. “Stand up.” She brushed the snow off his dark blue corduroys. “We can play in the snow at Grandma and Grandpa’s. I don’t want you to get wet before Sunday School.”

  After a minute, Ben complied, stomping his feet through the snow so it puffed up.

  Tori kept thinking, I’m going to miss this. Then she had to remind herself, she would only live a few blocks farther away than she had before.

  She smiled in the crisp morning air. What kind of magic was this — she wouldn’t have to give up anything when she got married, and she was gaining the whole world.

  Lexie looked over at her. “What are you smiling at?”

  Tori grinned. “Isn’t the world a beautiful place?”

  Lexie shook her head and chuckled. “You’re drunk on love.”

  Tori laughed out loud. “I know!”

  “You�
��re so lame.” But her sister smiled when she said it.

  “You know, you and Hayley and I made that no-men pact, but you two are the only people who aren’t telling me what a terrible mistake I’m making.” Tori had been waiting for one of them to say something. The suspense was killing her.

  Lexie walked in silence for a moment or two. “It’s possible, I suppose, that out of the three or four billion men on this planet, not all of them are irredeemable jerks.”

  Tori smiled. She knew Lexie tempered her language in front of Ben. What she meant was much worse.

  “The older he gets,” Lexie nodded to her son, “the more I see how I can help him learn to be a good man. Kind, honest, compassionate, responsible.”

  “Like Dad,” Tori said.

  Lexie glanced over and gave her a quick smile. “Yeah, like Dad. But hopefully with a little more backbone.”

  Tori didn’t want to argue with her. She vacillated between thinking Dixie was a control-freak or Danny was a push-over. She didn’t understand her parents’ marriage.

  But she sure appreciated Lexie’s high praise — Joe fell into the category of “not an irredeemable jerk.”

  When they got to church, he was waiting for her by the front door. He pulled her in for a quick kiss, making her giggle. Then he crouched down and held up his hand to Ben.

  Ben high-fived him and laughed.

  “Morning, Joe. Come on, Ben, let’s get your coat off,” Lexie said.

  “No!” Ben turned his back to his mom and held up his hands to Joe. “Off.”

  Joe laughed and pulled off the boy’s mittens. “Ooo, you’ve got mittens on a string. You’re so lucky.”

  Ben smiled at Joe and swung his arm, making his mitten fly around on the end of the cord it was attached to.

  Joe made a game out of getting Ben’s outerwear off, handing the pieces to Lexie. Then he tossed Ben up in the air a couple times and airplaned him over to his mom.

  Tori promised Lexie they’d save her a seat as her sister took Ben to Sunday School. She turned back to Joe. “You are so good with kids.”

  He shrugged. “’Cause I still am one.” He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Wanna go make out in my dad’s office?”

  Tori gasped and slapped his shoulder. “Joe!” she hissed. “We’re inchurch.”

  He laughed. “I just wanted to see your expression. I can’t tell if you’re blushing since your cheeks are still red from the cold.”

  Probably. Everything he did made her blush. She wondered how long that would last. Hopefully, a long, long time.

  Joe took her hand and led her from the cloakroom at the side of the narthex toward the sanctuary. But crossing a lobby never took longer. Tori figuredevery single person they tried to walk past stopped their conversation to congratulate them. She hugged at least a dozen people she didn’t know.

  By the eighth or ninth exuberant embrace from a stranger, her enthusiasm became forced. Her stomach started to feel a little hot and nervous. She hadn’t felt this way in months. Apparently, she’d gotten all the hugs she could take at the bridal shower yesterday. She needed to stop soon before she did something embarrassing. Like tell everyone to back off.

  Tori wondered if Princess Kate felt this way at her wedding.

  Having successfully navigated the narthex, they stopped at almost every row inside the sanctuary. Good thing they had gotten here a little early. Tori saw Lexie walk by and wink, mouthing, “I’ll saveyou a seat.”

  Tori smiled, then turned to hug another couple. At least these people she knew. “Thank you,” she said yet again.

  Tori and Joe joined Lexie a few rows from the front. While a guest pianist played some Christmas music off to the right, Joe whispered to her, “Have a good time last night?”

  “Yes,” Tori whispered back. “You?”

  “Yeah. What’d you do?”

  The pianist started playingGreensleeves.

  “Oh, I love this song. We went to dinner, and we all wore little plastic tiaras. Mine said Bride.” She flashed him a grin. “Then we went line dancing at a place on the UNM campus. Country music,” she teased, and he made a face. “Very fun. We laughed so much my cheeks hurt.”

  “Dancing, huh?” Joe squeezed her hand. “Did you dance with anyone?”

  Tori looked him in the eye and made a soft sound that she meant as,I know what you’re really asking and you’re being silly. But she said, “It’s line dancing, Joe. You dance with everybody.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Were the people you danced with good-looking?”

  Tori giggled softly, trying not to draw attention. “Was the cheerleader at your party good-looking?” She raised her eyebrows in return.

  “How did you know there was a cheerleader?”

  “Because your very sweet brother who planned the party asked me if it would bother me.”

  “And you said?”

  “No, as long as she kept her clothes on. So was she pretty?”

  Joe grinned. “She was easy on the eyes.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Nothing like my girl, though.”

  Tori grinned and ducked her head. He said the sweetest things. She just loved that about him.

  “Anyway, it was your brother who got her number, I think.”

  Tori glanced up in surprise. She was about to ask more questions, but the service began. More ammunition to tease Kevin with at lunch today.

  A young family with three small children lit the Advent candles and read a passage about the birth of Jesus. The congregation sang “Angels We Have Heard on High,” and Owen gave a lovely sermon about holding the joy and peace of Christmas in your heart all year. The service ended with a rousing rendition of “Joy to the World.”

  Tori sighed happily. “I love Christmas.”

  She pulled Lexie along as she and Joe faced another wave of well-wishers. If she had to meet every single person who went to this church, so did Lexie. Both of them were too used to keeping to themselves. It would probably do them good to get a little more connected here.

  Even with all the chatting, they still had some time before they had to be at Mom and Dad’s for Sunday brunch, so Joe and Tori walked Lexie and Ben home. That is, the adults walked. Ben rode piggy-back, played horsey, and pretended to be an airplane all the way home.

  “Thank you for ruining him for me for the next month,” Lexie complained. “I don’t know why guys have all the strength and endurance when moms are the ones who really need it.”

  Joe chuckled as he swung Ben from his shoulders. “I love kids.” Then he bent down and whispered in the boy’s ear.

  Lexie shot Tori an expectant look. Tori grinned and shook her head, sticking out her tongue at her sister. It was far,far too soon to think about having kids. They needed time on their own first. Though it was nice to see that Joe would almost certainly make a great dad. One day.

  Tori gave her sister a hug, congratulated Ben on his snow angel, and waved goodbye. Lexie wanted to drive her own car to Mom and Dad’s today since Tori and Joe would be going to Owen and Hannah’s later. Back-to-back family get-togethers. She should probably get used to this.

  Tori took Joe’s hand as they walked back to the church. Joe had left his truck there this morning after he picked it up from the bar parking lot. As they walked back and then drove to her parents’ house, they discussed wedding details.

  Tuxedos — check.

  Bridal gown and dresses — check.

  Cake — Joe’s Aunt Trudy said “check.”

  Luncheon — Hannah said “check.”

  Rehearsal dinner — check.

  The church had a Christmas caroling event scheduled for 4:30 on Tuesday, and the bridal party had been invited to join them. The rehearsal dinner and rehearsal would follow. Tori was excited that so many family and friends had agreed to go caroling beforehand.

  “This is going to be so fun,” she gushed. “Much better than a June wedding. You can’t go Christmas caroling in June.”

 
Joe gave her a questioning look, then made a turn toward Tori’s old neighborhood where her parents lived.

  She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. “My mother once again pointed out the virtues of a summer wedding yesterday.”

  “Yeah, I’m still getting some of that from my side, too.” Joe reached over and took her hand.

  She squeezed it, and looked out at the neighborhood they were driving through. Her family had moved here when Mom was pregnant with Samantha. Dad had made partner at his law firm and they wanted to move to a better neighborhood. Tori had a vague recollection of their old neighborhood, and she’d thought it was nice, too. But Mom wanted to make Dad a proper lawyer’s wife, and this house was better for entertaining. How many times had Tori heard that over the years?

  She knew Mom and Dad loved each other, but sometimes she wondered if her mom was trying to prove something by being the perfect wife. And recently, Tori had been worried her mom thought Toriwouldn’t make the perfect wife, and that’s why she kept urging her to push back the date.

  “Do you think I’ll make a good wife?” she asked Joe now, still staring out the window at the big, beautiful houses in this well-to-do neighborhood. A neighborhood so unlike the one where she and Joe and Lexie lived.

  Joe pulled over and put the truck in park. Tori glanced over in surprise.

  “Neither one of us has any idea what our marriage is going to be like,” Joe said, lacing their fingers together. “We both have ideas based on what we’ve seen in our parents’ lives and our friends’ lives, but we don’t know howyou and I will do it. I’d guess we’ll have the fewest disappointments if we’re willing to go with the flow a little.

  “But I believe you and I will have a great marriage. You’re honest and generous and loving, and you bring out the best in me. I hope I bring out the best in you. What other people think will only matter if we let it.”

  Tori felt her chin quiver. She undid her seat belt and slid over to him. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight.

  “I think you’re going to make a great wife, Tori.” He pulled away. “I’d marry you today, if I could, but I’m willing to wait until Wednesday.”