The Bloody Mary Diet: The Detective Adele Series Book 1

by Caroline Stuchlik

  Trevor is at the door when I am walking out. I knew I couldn’t get by him. Vampires. Know. Everything.

  Another reason to not have a relationship with one.

  “Why do you have your gun??”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about and I am not on duty so move. Now.” He won’t move but I can step around. I can also get another gun and he knows it.

  Trevor, “You have your gun. You are lying. Why do you have your gun?”

  “I don’t.”

  I dodge around him and run to hail a cab. If I can get to my mom’s house before he can figure out where I am going I will have a chance. I get a cab immediately and tell him to drive, fast. He actually does. Awesome.

  We arrive at my mother’s house fifteen minutes later. I hand him two twenties and tell him to not wait.

  I pretend I don’t know what I am going to do but I am lying. I am going to do the one thing that my mother cannot stand. I am going to create a scene. I know that her security alarms are going off because I know her system. Doesn’t matter, I only need about 20 seconds. Good thing because I can hear the Alfa Romeo coming up the block. I pull out my side arm and empty the clip into my mother’s front door and kick it open.

  Trevor pulls up behind me and I can hear sirens behind him. My mom is coming down the stairs. She saw the security video and she knows it’s me. She will do anything to keep this out of the papers so she better come up with a lie and fast because I don’t give a fuck.

  Trevor grabs my arm and pulls me inside. I totally wrecked the double doors. Trevor is looking into my eyes, reading my mind. He seems startled.

  He says, “You are sober.” As if that is remarkable.

  “I have not been drinking.”

  “When you have to start explaining why you are sober you may have a problem.”

  “You fucking asked!!! That’s not fair.” I sound like a five year old even to me but I will consider this later. Self awareness is very important to me. Not really.

  By this time the regular cops are pulling in up front and my mom and Walter are standing on the stairs staring at the double doors. Or rather what is left of them. I smile. I am not going to say a word. If she wants to keep this out of the news papers she better think fast. As the officers come in I wave my gun and Trevor attempts to get in front of me to wave his badge.

  Then mommy steps in. She points out the window to the right of the door and screams, “They went that way!!”

  Brilliant.

  The other officers look confused because clearly someone has put at least a dozen or so bullets in the front door and I am waving my gun around like it is a mini flag on the Fourth of July but my mom keeps pointing and screaming, “That Way!!!”

  The lead officer asks to see copies of the security video, I am assuming he saw the cameras, and that’s when he recognizes me. I am on the news from time to time because as with all news stations “if it bleeds it leads” and if it is local that’s even better.

  He calls me Officer Adele and I know that the gig is up. No one is going to even look at my weapon, which is still hot by the way, and I am not going to jail. Trevor will take me home and all this silliness will be forgotten. Darn my privileged life.

  As soon as the other officers leave, which is very shortly after they realize we are Odd Squad, my mother screams at me to get out. I tell her that I will leave but not because she wants me to. I am going to leave because I am going to go question all four of her late husband’s about this shooting. I will get to the bottom of this even if I have to dig all four of them up and drag their dead bodies over here to do it. I actually might. Walter looks like he is going to throw up.

  Trevor grabs my upper arm and we leave. I can tell he is really mad at me this time. I fired a weapon inside city limits without cause. I emptied the clip and I think that it holds seventeen bullets but I am not really sure. And he knows it. I have jeopardized us both. For the first time in a very long time I feel bad about my behavior. Usually if I do something crappy it’s to cover up for something that I can’t really help but this was just for fun and now Trevor is upset. He really deserves better.

  Crying is not something I usually do but tonight I am going to make an exception. Tears are already running down my face. Trevor hands me a tissue and I can already tell he is not going to yell at me. Instead he pulls a mind scramble and grabs my hand.

  I have never touched Trevor before and this is why. I never wanted to find out what would happen. It feels like being shoved inside a furnace. Very hot and very bright and very intense. Trevor loves me. Really loves me. I can feel it. I had no idea.

  I don’t even notice when he pulls over and stops the car. I am too busy being pulled through his mind and feelings. It was nothing like I thought it would be. It is amazing. I have never heard the thoughts before of a “living” being. It’s like the difference between watching someone skydive on TV and actually diving. One is detached and two dimensional and safe. The other is a total rush of physical and mental overload. This is skydiving.

  Trevor lets go of my hand and I come crashing down. How could I have not known? When I turn to look he is white knuckles on the wheel. He pulls back into the street and we are at Gran’s before I can think of a single say a word. Trevor walks me to the door and we stare at one another for a minute. I open the door and as I walk in he says he will pick me up at the usual. Then he walks away with me starting at his back. This changes everything. I never thought I could be with him or anyone else because I am way too damaged and likely to get worse. Much worse. Trevor knows this and wants to be with me anyway. Go figure.

  I have always been afraid to touch Trevor because even though he is technically “dead” he is also “living”, hence the term “living dead” or “undead”. The truly dead are static, they don’t typically change, it’s like watching a video over and over and even that eventually fades. You are not going to see a lot with a dead person and odds are what you do see will be what matters most to them. It will not necessarily be what you needed to know and you cannot ask because with very few exceptions they are no longer “here”. Their souls are gone along with the capacity for thought and awareness.

  Vampires are different. Some people think vampires do not have souls. In fact, the opposite is true. The soul does not leave the body when a person becomes a vampire. The soul is trapped in the body. The only way to free the soul from then on is to destroy the body. Vampires are like most beings, good or bad, it is a choice. They just have a lot longer to become good or bad. That is what amplifies it.

  Chapter 5: First Dates

  Walking into Gran’s house is crap shoot on a good day and today had not been a good day. I need to talk to Gran and she had been drinking since 10 this morning. Auntie Charles is still here, bless his heart, and they are staring at the old television in the living room as if they cannot bear to miss a moment. Someone has even made popcorn. The TV is an old 1950’s black and white and it has not worked since before I was born. It’s never even been plugged in. I wonder what they are watching.

  As soon as she notices me Gran hops up and turns off the dead TV. Charles assures me with a wink that they have seen “this one” before and they cannot wait to hear what happened with my gentleman caller, the handsome dead one. Sadly this does not narrow it down very much but I am assuming they mean Trevor. I am spot on. Two points for me.

  Gran has predicted that I would end up married to Trevor ever since Auntie Charles saw it in a vision before I was even born. Back eighty years ago when she and Trevor were partners. I may as well own up because they were probably watching us anyway. Witches.

  Gran and Charles are twins. They are both alone now and have never lived further apart then the two houses that separate our house from his. I sometimes feel that they are both waiting for me to be settled before they move on. For that I feel guilty but they do not seem unhappy, just not quite “here”. Charles’ partner died before I was born and Poppi left ten years ago. I really do believe that
when I am settled they will have finished with this earth.

  Charles moves over and pats the seat between them. I take a shot in the dark and say that they know exactly what happened because they were watching. Another two points for me. They don’t even bother to deny it, they have been watching me on the TV since I left this morning because Charles had a “feeling” today would be the day. Gran even stopped drinking so she wouldn’t miss it. She said they both almost peed their pants when I shot my mother’s door and that they could not be prouder. They love me.

  I asked my Gran if she knew about my father and she said that she had always suspected but had never been certain. She told me that when the time was right she had always known he would come and it would be a blessing. Charles nods in agreement.

  Both Gran and Charles have the “sight” to one degree or another. They both say that Trevor is the one. After tonight I tend to agree. Gran says I need to go to bed so I can be well rested for lunch with my father tomorrow. The way she says it I know there is more but I am not going to ask, I will find out as it happens like everyone else.

  Before I go to bed I slip out back and cut the phone wire with my nail scissors. I cut twice and take a ten inch piece. It takes a while but it is so worth it. I will not be harassed.

  My new dad picks me up at 10:45am sharp. Totally inhuman time of day but we have a lot to talk about. We go to an amazing sushi place and I ask him for the inside on Baby Boy Stevens, my missing younger brother. The look on his face is tragic. I can tell he doesn’t have anyone to talk to that cares like he does. I assure my dad that we will find him. I have contacts on the Odd Squad and the Boring Brigade and I will call in every favor anyone ever owed to get this done. Just tell me what he knows.

  When he starts to talk it just starts pouring out. He pulls out a picture on his cell phone that is a close up of David right before his disappearance. He filled a police report and I can pull that up at work but I ask him to send me the pic and tell me what isn’t in the report.

  He talks for twenty minutes and I listen, “David was barely sixteen when his mother was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. She became very ill very quickly and David was not at an age where he could deal with the thought of losing his mom. Vanessa and I made the decision to move back to San Francisco where we could be by the only family we had and get help with David while we dealt with Vanessa’s illness. She lasted three months. Sometime before that David had fallen in with a bad group. He had been acting different and sullen and moody but with his mom dying no one thought of the drug angle until he was arrested shortly after his mom died.

  “He had been picked up at the sight of a shooting. It was probably the result of a drug deal that had not worked out as planned but they had arrived to find David along with two other men who had been shot to death. Not an execution but multiple gun shots meant to send a message. David was still sixteen but he handled it like a pro. Someone had beat the shit out of him but he held it together. The only thing he had said was he wanted to speak to his attorney. With two dead bodies laying in the same room and he had not given up anything. Not a name, his or theirs, age, motive, nothing. He had given our home number and my name as his attorneys contact and when I arrived at the station he was in a general holding. The police had not even known he was a minor.

  “Family connections, the fact that he was a minor and had not done the shooting kept him out of jail and as soon as it got dark that night he disappeared. No one has seen or heard from him since. That was four months ago.” My dad seemed relieved just to have someone to talk to about the whole thing. It is something I am good at. People seem to want to confide in me. Like I am a priest and can give absolution or something. I can’t, but I let them talk anyway.

  All that had happened months ago and since that time the elder Mrs. Stevens (my grandmonster) had died and my dad had found out about me. No one had found anything about David. Not private investigators, not the police, not one thing.

  I sit and think for a minute and asked my dad what kind of majik if any he had used to look for David. He is quiet for a minute and eventually answers none. As a public defender he probably had the same attitude most attorney’s had about majik. It wasn’t necessarily admissible and it could be prejudicial. There is no way to get a search warrant based on some nut jobs visions so why ask about them. My feelings would be hurt but it was what it was. You can’t change the world to suit you so you better change yourself to suit the world. The only strange part is that dad a wizard, I can feel it, you would think he would want to at least try that avenue for his own peace of mind. I guess you would be wrong.

  I asked if he had any of David’s personal items, the more recent the better and he gave me a friendship bracelet that had been found in David’s car and an envelope containing some hair from a comb in his bathroom.

  I take the envelope and the minute I touch it I have a read. I open my mind up wide, which I never do and I get a very clear picture. David is alive, which I had not necessarily expected and he is not happy to be where he where he is, which I had expected. He is a nice looking young man with light brown hair and blue eyes just like me and our dad. The perfect kind of person to slip in and out of tight situations without a lot of attention.

  Very upper class, young and clean cut. Right now he is driving, he is seventeen so that was not an issue and he is also alone. I really had to push the outer barriers of what my mind could do but I got a look at the landscape. It looks like an industrial district, probably local or it would have not been so clear but I don’t recognize it. I cannot keep the link open long enough to find out but I can keep checking.

  I tell my dad that David was alive and I think he is going to cry. It is the first time anyone has said anything since David disappeared. I ask if I can keep the bracelet and the envelope until we find him and dad says yes.

  My phone rang and it is Trevor. They have more info and he wants to get me early. I tell him where dad and I are and he said he would be here in ten. He hung up and I realize I have not eaten a bite, neither has my dad. I say, “Race you!” and we each eat ten pieces of sushi in under ten minutes. Speed eating with chop sticks is awesomely hilarious. I heard my dad laugh for the first time. First date with dad.

  Trevor pulled up out front in the Alfa still in the same suite as last night. I kiss my dad goodbye and hope in while Trevor holds the door.

  I give him the long story short on David as I tie the bracelet around my wrist. It gives me a low grade signal but not much. It does say he is alive.

  Trevor has spent the morning talking to the roommates of the deceased. I told you he never slept. He has come up with a pattern that seems uniform but does not explain what might be happening or why or how to stop it.

  All four vics had started acting strangely in the three or four days before their “deaths”. They had seemed confused, stopped going to classes and jobs. They did not recognize friends or remember obligations. They all became more and more clumsy finally developed a sort of shuffling walk in the day or so before the official time of death. They had also seemed to quit eating and drinking. The last thing they had in common was their voices, they had all started speaking with a strange accent. Some of the friends had said east coast, maybe Jersey or Boston, and as time progressed the voices had gotten drier and rougher until they were difficult to understand.

  It almost sounded like something for the Center for Disease Control (CDC) except nothing could be found to cause the systems. The most disturbing things that were noted on autopsy was that the bodies seemed to be more than one day dead and they all had the same very odd blood pooling pattern. The postmortem was consistent with a three or four day old corpse in all four cases.

  No drugs, viral or bacterial illness. Not genetic because they were not related. Just identical patterns with no known cause. This is the hardest part about Odd Squad. You can’t go on TV and put out a warning that being in your early twenties, female, with light brown hair and eyes is killing people. Even if it i
s.

  I asked Trevor if he had looked at the missing girl from 1998. She matched our profile perfectly with the exception of no dead body. Trevor reaches over and pulls down the visor mirror right in front of me. Fuck.

  I match the victim profile perfectly. How had I not seen it?

  Trevor and I are about to pull up at the station and he says he actually has one more thing. He wants to go out tonight and talk about us. I know he is right. I need to face it. Tonight it is. My second first date in one day. That’s way above average.

  Lucky me.

  Chapter 6: CONFESSIONS

  I mention that I have never had two dates before in one day. That is not really the whole story. I have never had a date ever. As in not even one. When you are as messed up as I am you are not doing anyone a favor by starting a relationship with them. I don’t pull around baggage I pull around a supernatural tractor trailer.

  Reasons Catherine Olivia Adele Does Not Date:

  I am a witch who will probably eventually be insane.

  Gran is a witch, completely insane and I live with her.

  Auntie Charlie is a mostly insane witch.

  We have a dead house keeper, as in ghost, that you can see. Most people do not deal well with seeing her. Her name is Molly.

  We all drink too much.

  My mother is an evil bitch.

  Lots of other reasons that I will list later.

  Tonight I will go out with Trevor and we will talk about whatever he wants and I do not envy him in the least.

  As soon as Trevor asks me out I accept because we are at the station and he drops me off. He is actually smiling. I feel sorry for him but it’s not like he has not been warned. He even knows Gran and Charles. He can read minds for goodness sake. If that is not enough to scare him away what more can anyone do. Complete lack of self preservation instinct in someone that old is rare but it does happen. What can I do? Who is really the victim here? I would like to say it is me. I can’t, but I really would like to.