by Mj Fields
She looks at me as her cheeks burn bright red, then glances back down. When Tally sets the cup in front of the chair between her and Nick, she looks up at me again. I hate the internal struggle, so I give her a wink, hoping it settles her.
She sits down and pulls a laptop from her bag, then sets it on the table. Next comes an iPad and two smart phones.
Tally looks overwhelmed. “All of that is for this?”
“Yes. I have the logins for the social media pages that the four of them created, and it’s easier to manage them all separately to keep from crossing their personalities when reposting and responding, basically interacting with the world.”
“What’s my personality?” River asks, leaning in.
“You have less of a filter,” she says quietly.
“And me?” Billy asks.
“More sophisticated.”
“How about me?” Memphis questions.
“You have a better filter than River’s and would be far less likely to respond to the female fans. Actually, I hope Tally can help me out and take over yours until you feel comfortable reposting, thanking, and interacting with the people who fall in love with your”—she pauses—“kind of rock.”
“What about Finn?” River asks.
She looks up, then back down and shakes her head. “Pensive. More about the music and less about the buzz.”
“Pensive? Meaning asshole?” River laughs.
“No, of course not,” she says quickly and looks at me. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I’d say you nailed it.” I nod and look down.
“I’m glad you think so,” she says in a sweet as hell voice, and I look up. I can’t help smiling, but I need to reel it in.
“Breakfast coming anytime soon? I’m starving.”
Nick stands up. “It’s on its way. We have a decision to make, and it needs to happen now. We have a show tomorrow.”
“I say the twins,” River jumps right in.
“They’re country,” Nick states. “Hot, but country.”
“I heard some rock in there,” he interjects.
Nick looks around. “Anyone else want the twins?”
Sonya’s eyes catch mine, and I shake my head, so she looks around at the others.
“Look, they’re really, really, really fucking good,” River says.
“You fucked ’em?” I ask, knowing damn well he did.
“Their talents are undeniable. I’m telling you, Nick, they are—”
“Answer Finn’s question,” Nick says, trying not to laugh at the fool.
“Nick, their Southern hospitality is fucking incredible.”
“What about the Black Knights?” Memphis says. “They’ve got their shit together. Tight-ass band.”
“Just so we’re clear, the twins?” River.
“Not happening,” Nick says.
“Fine”—River scowls—“but they get VIP tickets tomorrow night.”
“Fine.” Nick rolls his eyes. “Back to—”
“Tainted Knights, not Black.” Sonya turns her laptop. “They already have a female manager—”
“That’s a hang-up of yours, huh?” Memphis asks. “You like that women’s lib shit.”
“I have a large female following myself, so yes, I like to tap into that,” she answers.
“But they’re not a female group,” River adds.
“No, they aren’t, but they are young, good-looking, and have a great social following. They’re from Bristol, Tennessee, the only out of area band here. They traveled a long way for this. And they have a manager, a woman named Emmie Armstrong. Jace is on vocals; Gray, vocals and guitar; Kale on drums; Tate, or Sin as they call him, is bass; and Cash is on keys, vocals, and bass. Six people strong and they already have a social media presence.” She looks up at us then smiles. “I know music is your thing, but causing a buzz is mine, and they would make my job a lot easier.”
“They have a great look, too,” Nick adds. “What do you say?”
“I say yes.” Sonya seems to really want these guys.
“You think they’re hot?” I ask without giving it a second thought.
She looks at me and then Tally.
“No, he was asking you, Sonya.” She giggles.
She nods. “They have a great look.”
“But would you bang ’em?” River asks.
“Would you?” she asks back, and the whole room busts up laughing.
“Probably not.” River smirks. “Now, if you’d asked me that three years ago, I may not have had the same answer. Right, Finn?”
“Fuck you, man.” I laugh.
“I’d bang Finn.” River winks at me.
“I’d like to see you try,” I growl at him.
“The road is a lonely place,” he sighs.
“Not for you.” Nick shoots him a look. “Beckett, where were you until five this morning?”
“That’s none of your damn business,” I tell him.
A knock on the door thankfully breaks up the bullshit.
“That better be breakfast. I worked up one hell of an appetite last night.”
“You must be lying down on the job, man. I got breakfast in bed.” River laughs.
“Yeah, slacking,” I say as I stand to get the door.
“So, I was thinking Tally and I could shout out the winner of the Houston audition now, and then, when we decide on Dallas, we’ll do that one.” I hear an excitement in her voice that I kind of like, but then I remember who she will be shouting out about, and it rubs me the wrong way.
“Sounds good. Let me give X a buzz first,” Nick answers her.
After Nick calls Xavier, Tainted Knights is moved to opening in Dallas. It will give Tally and Sonya more time to create a bigger buzz.
We decide on a band called Hoopla to open in Houston. They are local and don’t have an agent, and they have a very cool sound, more a pop rock than our kind of rock. The problem is they are a new band, so they only have a half hour set. Therefore, River ends up getting his twins in there, too. They will kick off the show, play for half an hour, Hoopla will then do the same, and then we will rock the crowd.
Sonya and Tally are buzzing all day on those damn devices. Nick even goes out and grabs two more iPads so Tally can run Memphis’s shit.
I lock myself down with a pen and paper.
***
I spent the night with her again. I couldn’t get enough of her or the natural beauty that now shined even brighter. But today, I went back to my room early. I needed sleep and so did she. Tonight is the fucking night we will rock Houston.
“Break a leg, Beckett.” I look back to see Sonya standing in the wings before I take the stage.
I look around. I’m the first one out.
I walk behind the speakers and motion for her to follow.
“I’m more than ready, but I have a problem,” I tell her.
“Are you sick, tired? Is something—”
“I see the way those fucks look at you, and I want to bash their heads in.” I point to the fucking Hoopla guys.
“You’re imagining it.” She giggles, not even looking.
“Nah, I’m not imagining shit. Tales even said you were hot, and she’s a straight chick.”
She shakes her head. “Stop it.”
“If I could stamp my name on your forehead, I’d feel better.”
“How about if you just remember that I’m the only one you’re over, and I’m the only one under you?”
“Hmm, I think that’ll get me through tonight, but then I’ll be walking on stage hard as hell.”
“Make sure you come back that way, too,” she says, shocking me.
“You have a thing for rock stars, Sonya?” I tease.
“Only the ones who play bass, sing, have beards, and make me feel so damn good every time we’re together.”
“That’s a damn good answer.” I grab the back of her head and pull her to me. Then I kiss her so hard she will feel it until I come back.
I pu
ll back, and she licks her lips.
“I like you, Finn Beckett.”
“The feeling is mutual,” I say as I pull my aviators down, turn, and walk away.
We take the stage in a storm of electric steel and badass beats. Billy and River are in the zone, and I am finger fucking the strings, wishing the night away, because right now, that girl, that little brunette standing just off stage with all her electronic gadgets, has me by the balls.
Once Memphis takes the stage and starts belting out “Bang, Bang,” the crowd roars. He eats that shit up. Hell, I’m actually kind of enjoying it tonight, too. But the only roars that matter are the ones in my ear I know I will hear later tonight.
Memphis’s arm is still healing from his bar altercation in Miami, so Billy is sticking to acoustic tonight. I’m still not singing, and X-man and Nickie D are being patient with me.
Sonya doesn’t ask about my past, but shares a little more of hers every day. It seems to empower her. When the time comes, I will sing and release some of my past as I do. Right now, on this stage in Houston, Texas, I’m doing what I love, what I do best, and that’s creating music.
I’m looking at my here and now a lot differently.
After the show, I make sure everyone gets pictures. Lots of pictures.
I don’t mind this crowd; it’s well controlled. Not to mention, there is lots of security, and well, Finn is here. He doesn’t go far away from me, and I certainly don’t go far from him. He makes me feel good, safe even.
I watch him as he takes pictures with the girls who won backstage passes on the radio. Each of the five winners and three of their friends won a ten minute meet and greet with the band.
“I can take it for you,” I offer as one of the winners struggles to take her selfie with the “hottest bass player in the world,” as she calls him. She isn’t wrong—he is—but right now, I’m the only one under him.
“You good?” he asks between greetings when he goes out for a smoke and I follow.
“Yep,” I answer, rubbing the back of my neck.
He exhales. “You’re so full of shit.”
“She looked at you like she wanted to lick you. Now don’t get me wrong, that girl is so into herself that the pictures will be all over the World Wide Web in minutes, which is the point in these meet and greets, but I really, really want to lick you right now.”
“Well, step up; I’m right here,” he says with a cocky arrogance that makes me tingle from thinking of the first night together when I actually did lick him.
“You’re smoking.”
He tosses his cigarette, crushing it with his black, size thirteen boots. “You jealous of the cigarette and the girls, Sonya?” His eyes seem to dance a bit. He likes this. He likes that I’m jealous.
“No.” My voice squeaks at my lie … always a giveaway with me.
He wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in for a nice, hard kiss. “I like it.”
“You like my—”
“Jealousy, yes. But there is no reason for it.” He dips down, sucking on my neck a little.
“But necessary,” I say in a raspy voice he causes.
“Mmm.” His hands are on my hips now, his fingers gently digging into my flesh. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
“Three more winners, Finn.” I step toward him instead of away like I should. “Go make me jealous.”
“If you say so, but you’re the only one licking me.” He leans in again before his tongue traces my lips slowly.
“Mmm,” I moan, and he echoes it.
After an hour more of snapping pictures of the guys with their new fans, the guys with Hoopla, and the guys with the twins, it’s time to head out.
We are on our way to The Rosewood Mansion at Turtle Creek, just outside of Dallas for the next show, which will be the next time I get to see the complete sexiness and extreme focus he shows only when he plays music … and when he is over me. Thinking of him either way works me into a frenzy. It is not a good time for that, though. Deciding to force myself to sleep, I close my eyes and lean back, trying my best not to think of Finn.
I wake up with my head on Tally’s shoulder, and Finn’s head is on mine. His hair is covering his eyes, and my fingers ache to touch it.
I glance around. Everyone in the limo is asleep.
I look over at Finn again, and he seems to be fighting to stay asleep. His eyes shift under his lids, and then his nostrils flare a bit. He inhales before I hear him sigh slightly.
He is beautiful, stunning, handsome, and perfect. He doesn’t look like your typical rocker. The way he dresses isn’t flashy; it’s actually classy with a hint of edge.
Tonight, his grey T-shirt is covered with a black, lightweight jacket. His faded denim jeans rest casually against his black leather, biker-style boots, and he smells clean and masculine like always. He is long, lean, and cut. His clothes don’t hide his amazing build; they enhance it, and my eyes are ever appreciative.
“Hey,” he whispers when his eyes open.
“Hey,” I whisper back.
He closes his eyes again, and his lip curls up ever so slightly. That smirk, smile—whatever he’s doing with his mouth—warms my heart, calms my unease, and almost blankets me.
I feel his hand on mine, his pinky linking around my own, and a feeling other than physical seeps in. It’s a feeling like when he held me while I felt vulnerable about my past or when he helped color my hair. I like this feeling. A lot.
I think I’m happy, and happiness has never come easily. Happiness was found inside the pages of fairytales, tiny hugs, and watching sleeping babies.
Babies. Noah. God, how could I even think of being happy when he needs me? Everyone needs me.
As I look down at Finn again, my chest tightens.
This will not end well.
***
“Sonya. Sonya, wake up. The rooms are ready.”
I open my eyes to see Taelyn Steel.
“When did you get here?” I ask, shocked to see her.
“Long story. We were supposed to be in Houston, but something came up at Steel.”
“Oh, I hope everything is okay.”
She laughs. “Everything is great, actually. Those boys are just very protective of family, and something came up at the last minute. Their poor mother”—she laughs—“has been alone for years. Then she finds a man who loves her, and they act like they’re her father.”
I step out of the limo and stand in front of the place, or should I say palace, that we will stay at for the next three days. It’s nearly three in the morning, but as tired as I am, its beauty is not lost on me.
“Amazing,” I whisper.
“You look exhausted. It’s almost four in the morning. Let’s get in and get some sleep.”
“Where is everyone else?” I ask.
“Memphis carried Tally in. She was sleeping, and he didn’t want to wake her. New love, you know,” she says, walking quickly toward her husband.
“Morning, Sonya.” Xavier nods at me in greeting. “We’ll walk with you. We’re all in poolside suites.”
I nod, following them to the rooms.
Xavier hands me the key card. “This is your room. 168.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“Goodnight, Sonya.”
“Goodnight, Mrs. Steel.”
“Taelyn is fine,” she corrects me with a smile. Xavier takes her hand, and I hear her whisper, “What’s so funny?” to him.
“Sixty eight,” he says with a smile in his voice.
“That’s funny? You need some sleep,” she whispers back.
“Like a sixty-nine, but you blow me, and I’ll owe you one.” He laughs.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“We’ve never left Patrick. We’re alone for two days, Mrs. Steel.”
She giggles. “Porn sex.”
“Fuck yes.” He holds up his fist, grinning like a mad man.
She bumps it with hers, and then they mock an explosion.
“Fuck yes.” She slides the key through the lock five doors down.
I turn away from them, smiling.
“They’re something, huh?”
I jump when I hear him.
He looks amused before his smile fades. “Oh, shit, did I scare you?” He tosses down his cigarette and walks quickly toward me.
“No,” I try to regain my composure. “You just shouldn’t hide in the bushes and—” I stop as I feel my hand shake while trying to open the door.
I feel all out of sorts, so I hurriedly try to slide the key again as he gets closer.
“Jesus,” he says, taking it from me, sliding it, and then opening the door. “Get in there. Fuck, I’m sorry.”
I look at him. “Pft, it’s really no big deal.”
“It is, dammit.”
“No,” I say. “No, it’s not. It’s stupid. It’s just … stupid. And you know what? It will never, ever change. Ever.” Overwhelmed and still shaking, I feel like I’m going to cry. Who am I trying to kid? How will I ever be normal again outside of those gates surrounding my home? “It’s me, uncut and unedited. Broken and—”
“Stop,” Finn says softly as he walks closer. “I wasn’t thinking. I know better. You’ve been through hell—” I shake my head, and he stops before slowly grabbing my hands. “Tell me what I can do to put you at ease, then.”
I pull my hands back gently. “I just really want to go to sleep. I’m tired.”
His once mucky, now so very clear, eyes look confused. I feel my lip quiver as I turn away. I did that to him.
“I’m seriously fine, Finn. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
“Yeah.”
I hear his footsteps and then my door open but not close.
I look back over my shoulder as I pull the blanket off the bed to see he’s standing in a doorway between two rooms.
“Our rooms connect,” he tells me. “I’ll leave my door open. If you need anything, let me know.”
I nod. “Thank you. I’m just really tired.”
“I’m closing the door. The other is locked.” He gestures toward the main door. “No one is going to—”
“Fine! Okay! I get it!” The dam breaks.
I want him to go away. I want to be alone. I want a corner to crawl in, someplace to break down so I can build myself up again.
