Heartthrob (Hollywood Hearts, #1)

by Belinda Williams

  “Media stunt?” I finished for him.

  He blew out a long breath. “Yeah. That was cruel of me. My brother has always had a way of getting to me.”

  “Your brother? I don’t understand.”

  Jake swallowed and took a step back. “Forget I said anything. It doesn’t matter.”

  “Are you talking about Joel?” I asked like I hadn’t heard him.

  “Yeah. But it doesn’t matter. He said some things to Sally and—”

  “And you believed him?” I cried, my shoes scraping on the gravel loudly as I took a step back. And then it all fell into place. “Are you actually telling me it was him who spread the rumor that I had told the media about your football accident? Not Sally?”

  “Yes, and Sally believed him.”

  “What the hell? Why would she believe him? After he hurt her like that in front of everyone.” My fingernails dug into my palms because my hands were fisted so tight and I didn’t want to feel anything approaching sympathy for Sally. “And how on earth did he know it wasn’t an accident anyway?”

  Jake sighed. “Joel’s good at controlling people, Ally. It was only when I went home a couple of weeks ago and saw him that I realized something was off. He seemed smug. And then I put two and two together. He’d figured it out by himself and leaked it to the media. I know he seemed surprised at the funeral that I hated football, but leading up to that last game he knew something wasn’t quite right. He just thought it was nerves. Back then, he was my biggest supporter.”

  I was shaking. I was actually shaking with rage. “Well, I’m glad you solved the mystery,” I spat. “And it still doesn’t change the fact you believed her over me.”

  “Ally—”

  “Stop. Just stop, OK? This is why I’m not your girlfriend anymore. Don’t you see? If it took going home again to discover your brother is a lying asshole and I’m innocent, then we’ve got problems. Goodbye, Jake.”

  I turned and ran back toward the restaurant, but halfway there realized my mistake. Bella was peering out the window with what looked like half the customers standing behind her. My feet skidded on the path and I froze, but didn’t turn around.

  The gravel crunched beneath Jake’s feet. “Ally, please—”

  “Don’t,” I managed, still too angry to look at him. “Go, Jake. Just go.” I held my breath.

  Eventually, after what seemed like the longest ten seconds in history, the gravel crunched underneath his feet again.

  This time it was the sound of him walking away.

  Chapter 46

  In a weak moment—because all the days following my confrontation with Jake were a weak moment—I let Arabella and Lena talk me into New York Fashion Week. Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. Arabella didn’t talk, she simply took it upon herself to organize and Lena refused to take no for an answer when it came to covering the costs.

  To Arabella’s credit she’d done an amazing job, I thought, as the results of her efforts surrounded me.

  The backstage area was chaotic, but somehow it was a chaos that Bella seemed to have choreographed expertly. There were models floating around—literally, the girls were feather-light—wearing my clothes. My designs.

  And they looked stunning.

  “You’re staring again,” Bella told me as she directed a model to the make-up artist. “It’s like you’ve never seen the clothes before.”

  “Not like this I haven’t.”

  Bella flashed me a grin so wide I couldn’t help but grin back.

  “Thank you,” I said, suddenly feeling very emotional.

  It had been—how long?—four months since I’d fallen apart. If I’d thought leaving Hollywood and returning home was hard, it was even worse after Jake had walked away.

  And I’d let him.

  Because I’d felt angry, shocked, betrayed—too many emotions to count. All of which were justified, but it wasn’t until those emotions settled a few days later I’d realized why my reaction had been so strong.

  It wasn’t that I had been too scared to have feelings for Jake.

  It was because I loved him.

  I always had. I’d just been too blinded by everything else to see it.

  He’d said he’d ruined our love, but I’d had an equal hand in that, too. And I should have contacted him when I understood where we’d gone wrong, but once again fear stopped me. Stupidly, I’d thought with time it would become easier to move on. Time, it turned out, had the opposite effect.

  Bella distracted me from my maudlin thoughts and waved me over to examine one of the models’ outfits.

  “You’ve lost weight,” I accused the young woman, grabbing at the spare pins I kept secured to my black pants. I ignored her insulted expression—I was probably the only designer in history to criticize a model for losing weight—and carefully pinned the dress in tighter at the waist. “There you go. Stunning.”

  My last comment seemed to appease her and she fluttered off as if carried by an invisible breeze to where the other models were waiting. It was almost time.

  Bella darted a nervous glance in my direction. “Ah, Ally. I think you should know something—”

  “I know,” I interrupted. “I already know.”

  Bella appeared relieved. “OK. Do you want me to go out there and get rid of him?” she offered.

  I smiled at the protective Valenti sentiment. “No, it’s fine. Jake’s here because I invited him.”

  “You what?” she screeched, causing a few of the models to turn our way.

  I reached over and squeezed her arm lightly. “Relax, would you? I think I can handle seeing Jacob Swan again.”

  Bella pulled me behind a dressing screen. “I didn’t say you couldn’t handle it. But why, Ally? Why?”

  I shrugged. “Because all this time I haven’t stopped loving him.”

  Bella’s hand flew to her mouth. “Really?” she gasped.

  I nodded. “Why is that so surprising?”

  “Well, duh, it’s not!” she cried, reverting to her teenage self for a moment. “He’s Jacob Swan! Of course you’re in love with him.”

  We both giggled, then her expression turned solemn.

  “But I thought you didn’t want to go there?” she asked. “I thought you hated that life, all the publicity and lack of privacy and—”

  “Shh,” I said, silencing her. “Don’t remind me. I do hate all of that, but I love Jake more.”

  “Oh, Ally!” Bella threw her arms around me, almost knocking me off-balance and the both of us into the screen in the process. “I’m so happy for you. Really, genuinely happy for you, and not just because this gives me better access to gorgeous famous people. But wait! Does Jacob know all this?”

  I eased out of the hug and gave her a sheepish look. “Not yet. Hopefully he’ll agree to see me after the show.” Then I sighed. “He’s probably moved on because I’ve left it too long, but I have to at least try. He accepted my invitation. That’s a good start.”

  “From what I’ve seen, he’s been too busy to move on,” she said, referring to Jake’s relentless schedule.

  As well as starring in the Broadway drama, he’d been contracted for two new films—both of them breaking new ground for him. One was a family drama based on a book and the other a gritty police procedural where he was playing a bitter, cynical cop.

  “No wonder you’ve been so nervous about the show,” she added.

  “I am nervous about the show,” I corrected.

  She waved a hand at me. “It will be fine. I’ve organized every little detail. Although, some warning about Jacob attending would have been nice so I could organize that for you, too.”

  I hid a smile. That’s exactly why I hadn’t told her. I wanted whatever happened between Jake and I to be spontaneous, not forced or planned, because I needed to see for myself if he still had feelings for me.

  “Oh, crap. We’re almost on! Quick!”

  She dragged me out from behind the screen and the next few minutes flew by as we m
ade sure the models were where they needed to be and that their outfits appeared perfect.

  When the familiar soundtrack I’d chosen came on, I stepped aside and let the first model pass. She strutted onto the runway with more confidence than I felt, in a blur of shimmering gold fabric.

  Bella returned to my side. “Your designs look magnificent.”

  “They do, don’t they?”

  She glanced at me. “Normally I’d respond by saying you’re getting a big head, but it’s actually nice to hear you believe in yourself.”

  “I believe in myself.”

  “Now.”

  “Now,” I agreed.

  “Now that the Kardashians are sitting in the front row,” Bella added.

  “Who else?” I asked, too scared to look.

  “The usual. Lena, Chloe, Faith. Ooh, and Posh is here. Cool. And Beyoncé. I’m trying so hard not to have a fan girl moment right now.”

  “Me too,” I responded weakly, noting she hadn’t mentioned Jake.

  “Ooh, and there’s Nicole Kidman, Rooney Mara, Gwyneth, Reese—”

  “Stop,” I begged.

  “It’s like being at the fricking Oscars. Talk about pulling some major stars. Well done.”

  “It’s because of Lena.”

  “At first. Not now though. It’s because of your kickass designs. Whether you like it or not, you do glamor well.”

  “We’ll see.” I made eye contact with the model waiting in the wings, and with a sharp nod she flounced onto the stage.

  “I love this song,” Bella told me a few minutes later, when Coldplay’s Adventure of a Lifetime came on. “I’m so glad you chose it. It’s perfect. Although Gwyneth may not think so.”

  Despite my heart almost pounding a hole in my chest, I managed to smile. I hadn’t known Gwyneth would be coming when I’d chosen it. I’d been thinking of Jake.

  The lyrics spoke of following dreams, believing in magic and of feeling alive. With some time and distance, I could now see my time in Hollywood had taught me those things.

  After a while longer, Bella nudged me. “Alright, that’s almost a wrap. Go stand over there and get ready,” Bella directed.

  “What for?”

  Bella pointed toward the runway. “So you can go out there and bask in the applause.”

  I shook my head vigorously and took a step back. “No way. Not a chance. I don’t think so.”

  “Why not?” Bella demanded.

  “Because I’m just starting out, that’s why,” I hissed, when what I really wanted to do was yell at her. “Only the top designers go out onto the stage after.”

  “So? You’re a top designer.”

  “It’s my first show!”

  “And you’re already a household name. Get over there, Ally. Don’t make me hurt you.”

  “I’m only a household name because of Lena and Jake and don’t think I can’t take you, Arabella. You may be taller than me but I’m built.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I saw you tackle Suzie. You don’t get it, do you?” she said, dragging me over to the curtain. “They admire you and what you stand for: unapologetic glamor.”

  I tipped my head at her assessment of my designs, impressed, then struggled against her grip again. “Maybe, but—”

  “But nothing.”

  She pushed me out onto the runway. I stumbled inelegantly, momentarily blinded by the lights. Which was just as well because if I’d been able to see everyone straight away I probably would have fled backstage again.

  By the time my eyes adjusted and I found my balance, the sound of applause filled my ears. I forced a smile onto my face and began walking down the runway slowly, attempting to hide my amazement.

  Applause? The gesture was uncommon at fashion shows these days with people usually glued to their phones posting on Instagram. Or no-hands clapping. The fashion equivalent of an air kiss.

  But this was applause. Real-life applause. Holy crap.

  My cheeks flushed with pride or embarrassment—I wasn’t sure which—and I was smiling so much it hurt.

  I saw someone stand and my gaze was drawn to Lena. She smiled at me with pride and if I wasn’t mistaken, her cool blue eyes swam with unshed tears. I felt my own start to water and looked away or else I’d turn into a blubbering mess.

  Chloe jumped up beside Lena and grinned at me, her auburn hair catching the light. I grinned back. At her side was Faith, who nodded approvingly. I ignored a pang of disappointment when I saw Jake wasn’t with them and kept walking. Where is he?

  Stop it, I ordered myself, and forced myself to continue moving.

  Bella was right. Lena was right. You had to take your moments when they came your way, and this was one hell of a moment. Whatever happened with Jake, I’d proved to myself that dreams could become a reality if you worked at it. And after this show was over, I had every intention of working even harder at it. Hopefully this fashion show would garner the interest of several buyers and that would give us more exposure and more cash flow. A few more celebrities might request couture pieces as well. A year from now, Allegra Valenti could be a fully fledged label worn by people around the world, on and off-screen. I could do this. Correction. I was going to do this. If I hadn’t believed before, I believed now.

  I’d reached the end of the stage so I turned to make my way back, which was when I saw him.

  Jacob.

  He’d come alone and stood applauding in a tailored suit, the same soft blue color as his eyes. My whole body jolted as our eyes met and I stumbled.

  Oh God, no, I thought.

  But it was too late. I thought I’d been prepared. I’d wanted to see him again, but the shock of it made me trip over my own damn feet. A catwalk model I was not.

  I reached out to steady myself, but of course there was nothing there—just useless, empty air.

  And I was falling.

  Falling fast.

  The applause stopped and there was a collective intake of breath.

  It occurred to me briefly as I fell that the runway was a long way up and that more than my pride was going to hurt in a few seconds.

  A few women cried out as I careened over the edge of the stage. Naturally, I did the best thing possible in such a situation.

  I closed my eyes.

  And then . . .

  And then nothing.

  No hard floor. No broken bones.

  Just a pair of strong arms holding me and the reassuring pressure of a solid chest.

  “Hey, Bambi.”

  I cracked open one eye. “Hey,” I whispered, my cheeks flaming. Everyone was watching us. Duh, I could almost hear Bella say.

  “Nice show. Glad you invited me.”

  “Thanks.”

  His eyes wandered to my neckline. “Nice outfit, too.”

  “Thanks,” I said again, because I wasn’t capable of much else. Oh, Ally. Once again, I’d created a scene.

  He set me down gently so I could find my footing, but his hands didn’t leave my hips.

  “Your dramatic exit will make headlines.”

  I closed my eyes again. “Great.”

  One of his thumbs tentatively stroked my hip and it was so exquisite it hurt. “I’m thinking the write-up will be something like, ‘Celebrity designer falls for Jacob Swan.’ ”

  I opened my eyes in shock. “Do you think so?”

  “I hope so,” he said softly, and I sucked in a sharp breath at the hope in his gaze. “What do you think?”

  “I. . . ” I started, then stopped and looked away. Everyone was still watching us and whispering. Not to mention the hundred or so cameras currently snapping pictures of us.

  He squeezed my hips, drawing my gaze back to his.

  “Forget about them,” he ordered. “Forget about all of them. Like we should have done right from the beginning.”

  I nodded and my eyes filled with tears.

  “I’ve missed you,” he said.

  “I’ve missed you too, Jake,” I whispered.

  He reached up
and cupped my cheek in his palm. He gave me one of those smiles—those megawatt Jacob smiles—and it was all for me. “That’s a relief,” he said. “And I should have said this before, but we’ll do whatever it takes, Ally. We’ll live in Alaska if that’s what you need to feel comfortable and not trapped by all of this.”

  “New York will be fine,” I managed.

  “It will? That’s good. I’m enjoying my new apartment. I’d like you to see it.”

  “So would I.”

  We stared at each other some more, until he cleared his throat.

  “I want to do this with you.”

  “This?”

  “This adventure. This life. Following my dreams isn’t the same without you by my side because in my dreams you’re the best part.”

  I leaned into his hand, trying so hard not to cry. “Me too.”

  “And it’s not just about my dreams. It’s about yours, too. I’m so proud of you.”

  I swallowed the wave of emotions threatening to overwhelm me. We’d been so stupid, I realized. All along, we’d just had to believe. In ourselves and each other. It was that simple.

  “I love you, Jacob,” I told him, not caring if the whole of Hollywood and the world’s media was watching. None of it mattered, not when Jacob Swan was in my arms.

  He wiped a stray tear from my cheek, and grinned at me like the kid who had just been told he could stay up late watching TV and eating candy. “I love you too, Ally. And I’m going to kiss you now.”

  The kiss was one of his top performances. As I melted into him, I heard more cameras going off, the sound of applause and even a few cheers. None of it mattered. I knew this kiss was for me.

  To my disappointment, it didn’t last long and Jake eased back. “Come on. I’d say that’s enough of a show for one day. Shall we exit stage left?”

  “Oh, so you’re a stage performer now, are you?” I teased.

  “I like to think so. Thanks to you.”

  I nudged him with my elbow as we walked past the crowd, smiling and waving as we went.

  “What was that for?”

  “For not believing in yourself.”

  “No chance of that now, when I have you by my side.”

  “Right back at you.”