Filthy 5: A Dark Erotic Serial

by Martin, Megan D.

  The first inhale had an immediate calming effect, relaxing me. But it wasn’t quite enough. There was something under my skin that begged for the cocaine. I didn’t notice it as much now. It was almost like it wasn’t there, not always. It would go away, disappear. The urge for a bump wasn’t like it used to be. Some addicts from the hospital I’d gone to had been craving their poison for years, others claimed it was always a constant burn in their veins. I didn’t feel that way.

  Thinking about the cocaine disgusted me. I felt sick at the very idea of consuming it, but I craved the haze of it. The bliss that would take me somewhere else. Somewhere foreign, where the little things couldn’t get to me, couldn’t devour me like they did now.

  The squeak of the front door opening, startled me and I jumped. Rhett sitting down beside me, surprised me even more. If I thought anyone would come outside I expected it would be Sarah. Rhett never came out with me while I smoked. His presence was constant, but never really present, if that made any sense. He was there, but he wasn’t. Not emotionally, not until I had a nightmare. Those were our only shared moments where we were both truly present.

  “Can I have a drag off that?”

  I gave him a sideways glance on an exhale and handed the cigarette over. “I didn’t think you smoked.”

  “I used to. In college. Not anymore.”

  I nodded when he handed it back, taking another long drag.

  We sat there in silence for several minutes, passing the cigarette back and forth until it was gone and he stubbed it out in the grass.

  I figured he would get up and go in now, that he would head on to bed and be with Sarah. But he didn’t. He sat there, his big body only inches away from mine. I wanted to be angry at him. Frustrated. But I wasn’t. I couldn’t muster up the energy to be mad at him.

  “I don’t think you’re fragile.”

  I snorted. “That’s exactly what you think.” I didn’t sound upset or sad, just resigned to the reality of it all.

  “No, Faye, no.” He shook his head. “You don’t get it.”

  I frowned. “I don’t get what?”

  “You’re the strongest person I know.” He was staring at me now. His eyes, shiny orbs reflected in the parking lights.

  I snorted again. “Don’t lie.”

  “I’m not. The things he did to you…I don’t think anyone else could have survived them. But you did.”

  He seemed sincere, like he really believed the words. It made the backs of my eyes feel suddenly hot, like they were going to burst.

  “Only someone strong could have made it through all of that bullshit he did to you.”

  I wish I could’ve believed his words. I wished I felt strong, but I was anything but that.

  “Your strength is what makes everything worth it. My father is smart, but he’s not perfect. He makes mistakes. He’s done things, other things. He’s had a hand in killing people. He’s been trafficking drugs apparently. I know he has. I’m going to prove it too. There is something in those statements. It’s in there—we just have to find it.” The conviction in his voice made my heart pound. “I’m not going to give up until I find the proof. The evidence of all the shit he’s done.” He reached out and grabbed my hand. The feel of my fingers twined with his felt more right than anything in the world and made my heart flutter. “You didn’t survive in vain. He will pay for what he’s done to you.”

  The utter conviction in his voice, in his eyes, in the squeeze of his hand. It made me want to believe that it was true. That there was something in those papers, proof of more of the horrible things Taylor had done. But I didn’t believe, not really. I wanted to though. I wanted it so badly I could fucking taste it.

  “I want to help you.” And I did. Even though nothing would come of it. I wanted to. If it meant that Rhett would look at me like he was now, like he thought I hung the sun and the moon, like I was some strong beautiful goddess up on a pedestal that he worshipped. Then I would do it for as long as I could. It didn’t matter that I would end up back in hell with Taylor. The trip through heaven with Rhett to get there would be worth it.

  It had to be.

  FIVE

  Faye.

  “Find anything good, Faye?” I glanced up at Roger, who was sitting across from me.

  I shook my head. “Nothing more.” It had been two months since I started helping Rhett research for the case against Taylor. The prosecutor, Jim, came over sometimes to help, but more than anything Roger and Cayden came, two lawyers from Rhett’s firm. It was awkward at first. They knew who I was, especially Roger, who I’m certain saw what Taylor did to me at the party. Hell, Cayden probably had too, but neither man brought it up and after awhile it stopped feeling awkward when they were there.

  We would all sit around the kitchen table like we were now, stacks of paperwork, mountainous in front of us. Sarah would make us coffee and smile. She didn’t cry as much anymore and I was glad. I couldn’t stand her tears. They were almost as bad as the pity. I still saw it when she looked at me. It was in Rhett’s eyes too. He tried to hide it, but I saw it and it still gutted me.

  “There’s gotta be something more,” Cayden said, leaning back in his chair next to mine. He was the youngest of the three, his dad, the owner of their firm. He was more likely to slack off than the rest of them and was often texting his fiancé on his phone or googling funny memes and showing them to me when Rhett and Roger weren’t looking. I didn’t know how to act at first. Was I supposed to laugh? Keep quiet?

  I ended up chuckling quietly when he showed me things. Rhett would usually get on to him, and I wouldn’t miss the fire in his eyes. Sometimes I would catch him looking at me while we worked, his eyes tracking me with something hungry and familiar. Something so far away from pity it made me breathless. But he always looked away and it was gone, that searing gaze, and made me question if it had really happened at all.

  “You’re right. There has to be,” Rhett said, placing the paper in his hands on the table.

  “Faye caught the strange deposits two years ago, but there has to be more. Those three instances into his personal account appear to be the only times he ever got that size of money,” Roger added. He was incredibly handsome with dark toned skin and black hair. He told me one night while we took a smoke break that he was full Italian.

  I let my gaze fall back to the bank statement in front of me. I’d been looking at these things for two months straight, first for Taylor’s business accounts and now for his personal ones. The first point of leverage we had found this entire time had come earlier tonight when one statement revealed a heavy cash deposit, three of them totaling over fifty thousand dollars in the span of three weeks.

  “Wait.” My eyes were glued to the paper in front of me. I’d been looking at this one for the last thirty minutes not really processing it. But then it clicked, when the statement really revealed. “Oh my goodness.”

  “What is it?” Rhett said, all of their eyes glued on me.

  “I think I found something?”

  All three men clambered to their feet and leaned over my shoulder.

  “This is a transfer.” I pointed to the papers. “Right?”

  Rhett pulled the paper out of my hands and eyed it. He seemed to stand there for eternity, with his eyes narrowed.

  “Fuck, it is. For fifty grand, and—” he hurried around the table and picked up a different statement, “—it was wired to another account barely a month after the original deposits.”

  “What account?” Roger asked.

  Rhett shook his head back and forth, disbelief covering his features. “I don’t know, not any of his accounts we have now.”

  “You’re kidding!” Cayden said.

  “What does that mean?” I asked quickly squeezing my hands in my lap. Excitement bubbled up inside me. We had been looking for so long. I didn’t entertain any ideas that these statements would reveal anything. If I was honest with myself, I thought it was all a waste of time. They wouldn’t find anything.
Each day had proved that to me, more and more. But I found myself attached to looking through those papers, even though they would reveal nothing. The search gave me purpose.

  “I don’t know yet, but it means something. This might just be the door we’ve been looking for.” Rhett smiled at me. It had been so long since he’d smiled, the sight of it practically took my breath away.

  “Look at you, kiddo! You were born for this work!” Roger snatched me up out of the chair in a bear hug. I couldn’t help the giggles that escaped my lips as I was pressed into his suit. He smelled like deep musky cologne and mint.

  Happiness bloomed inside me. It was different than anything I’d ever felt before. It wasn’t the happiness I got when I came or when I snorted coke. It wasn’t anything like that it. It was a feeling of belonging. It was silly, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t fully understand until he released me and Roger’s chocolate brown eyes were staring down into mine. Cayden patted my shoulder happily from behind.

  They’re my friends.

  The words socked me in the gut. I’d never had friends. Not really. Taylor never allowed it and Shauna, the prostitute who lived with me out in that field had never really connected with me. Not like this. In a non-sexual, professional way that was also a little personal. Friendship.

  I was smiling so hard my cheeks ached. When Roger released me, I turned back to the table only to meet Rhett’s gaze again. The smile was gone from his face now, replaced with something vicious. He wasn’t looking at me, but at Roger, who was now saying something to Cayden.

  His reaction only made me smile harder. It made something bubble inside me.

  He wants me.

  His gaze found mine, but the look didn’t soften. Instead it seemed to intensify. It was blatant, desperate, eager, lusty. So many things and I was utterly frozen by it.

  “Let’s celebrate.”

  I frowned and glanced up at Cayden next to me. “What?”

  “I’ll call Katie, and Rhett you go grab Sarah. Let’s all go have a drink.” Cayden pulled his phone from his pocket and started clicking on the screen.

  “We need to find out what this other account is. We can’t just find information like this and then go for a drink.” Rhett sounded exasperated.

  “That’s exactly what we should do. We haven’t found a break like this in months. Let’s see where it goes tomorrow.” Cayden didn’t look up from his phone.

  “I—”

  “I think Cayden’s right.” Roger made a non-commital face. “For once. We’ve been working on this non-stop. You’ve been working on it constantly, dropping clients for it and everything.”

  I frowned. Rhett had dropped clients for this? But he wasn’t making any money working on this.

  “You deserve a break man. They haven’t even set a date for the trial. There’s plenty of time.”

  “Sarah!” Cayden called, moving toward the bedroom door and banging on it. Get your ass dressed. We’re going out!”

  “I’m not old enough to drink.” I glanced between Rhett and Roger. “My birthday is coming up, but I’m only nineteen.”

  Roger looked baffled for a moment, as if he had forgotten my age. “No worries. It will still be fun. I’ll buy you a virgin daiquiri or something fruity.” He turned to Rhett. “Come on man, you’re coming with, right?”

  Rhett glanced between us, his face blank. “Fine.”

  The fruity drink in front of me was exactly what Roger promised. A non-alcoholic concoction. The bar was a hole in the wall, or at least that’s what everyone was calling it. I didn’t really get what that meant. I’d never been to a bar before. I think they all just assumed that I had, considering my life, my past. But I hadn’t.

  The men I fucked didn’t need to buy me a drink before hand. That was just more money out of their pocket. Plus I wasn’t old enough to drink so it was just more of a way for those men to get caught buying sex and same for me. I didn’t want to go to jail. All I wanted was money for my next high.

  It was strange to think about now. I had lived and breathed those drugs for almost three years. Three whole years. And now I was sitting in a hole-in-the-wall bar with a group of people who were successful. They all had college degrees. Even Cayden’s fiancé who did something similar to Sarah, except she worked directly with prison inmates.

  I was definitely the odd man out. We all sat around a table inside the musty bar, waiting for the people using the pool table to leave. Everyone had a beer, or like me, the girls had fruity drinks, except theirs had alcohol, of course. I realized that I had nothing in common with any of these people.

  Cayden droned on about the Cowboys, arguing with Roger about how they were a much better team than his Pittsburgh Steelers. I couldn’t remember when I had last watched a football game, if ever. I knew nothing about the sport at all. If I was honest with myself, I didn’t know much about anything. I dropped out of high school when I was a junior. Though truthfully it happened earlier than that. After things went down with Rhett and he left. Taylor and my mom pulled me out of public school to homeschool me. It was just Taylor’s way of keeping his eye on me. I never did one stitch of homework or lesson. So technically I had a sophomore education.

  The only thing I knew anything about was fucking and I was certain no one at the table would appreciate my expertise on the subject.

  I stared up at the big white elephant mounted on the wall just across from me. This bar sure did have strange taste. There were huge cabinets full of white elephant figurines. They were everywhere, even carved into the tables by patrons.

  “The kiddo and I will be partners, we’ll go against you and Sarah.”

  I glanced up at Roger, surprised as he laid his hand on my shoulder. “Huh?”

  “Pool. Rhett thinks he’s the shit, but we’re gonna change that.”

  “He beats your dumb ass every time. That’s why he’s the shit.”

  “Hey, shut the fuck up, Cayden!”

  I glanced over at the now vacated pool table. “Oh, well, I don’t know. I’ve never played.” I stood slowly holding my drink to my chest.

  The black t-shirt I wore fit tightly, and I thought it looked nice when I pulled it on before we headed out, but it was nothing in comparison to the other women at the bar. Katie, Cayden’s fiancé, wore a tight red dress. Even Sarah had worn a flashy top and skin tight leggings with heels. I had no idea she even owned something so stylish. It made me feel self-conscious in my jeans, chucks, and t-shirt.

  It shouldn’t have mattered. I wouldn’t even have these things if Sarah and Rhett hadn’t bought them for me, but I couldn’t help but feel a little bitter. Sarah had picked these things out. They were there when I came home from the psychiatric hospital. Everything was nice, but nothing was very pretty or flashy. There was nothing low-cut or fancy. Everything was plain. Aside from the dress you wore to the party. I pushed that thought out of my mind, refusing to relive those horrors.

  Don’t fucking complain about it.

  I wasn’t. I wouldn’t. But I couldn’t help but feel a little out of place.

  I walked around the table and I could feel his eyes on me. Rhett’s eyes. I had avoided looking at him all night. I don’t know why, I couldn’t explain it. Maybe it was just easier to look at him over the stack of papers because I knew our goal, our intentions. They were innocent, even if I didn’t want them to be. But here, in this place, even with Sarah just feet away, the air felt different. Intentions meant nothing. And I was afraid. Afraid of what I would see. Afraid of what he would see.

  “Come on, I’ll teach you.” Roger winked at me and my cheeks reddened. His dark eyes sparkled in a way that I’d never seen them before.

  Is he flirting with me?

  The very idea made me want to giggle. I knew men, and I could sense their lust, their desire…but innocent flirting? Well, fuck. That was foreign to me.

  I followed him around the table, only half-listening while he talked about the game of pool. I couldn’t focus on him, not completely. Rhe
tt’s gaze was still on me. It was burning a hole in my chest. Tearing, clawing away at my clothes. But I still didn’t look at him. I just smiled and nodded at Roger who seemed to talk forever, showing me how to rack the balls and chalk my stick. I tried hard to focus all of my energy on him, not on the searing feeling of Rhett’s gaze.

  I took deep breaths and paid close attention to Roger. I focused on taking him in, his deep voice, the way he moved. He was smoother, more lively than Rhett. His eyes held nothing out of the ordinary when he looked at me. He didn’t sear me with lust and drown me in pity. His eyes were honest, open, happy eyes. His dark hair was smoothed back from his face. The slacks and white dress shirt he wore hugged his lean body. He was handsome.

  This handsome man is flirting me. A man who knows about the things I’ve done. The things that were done to me.

  Something inside me awoke at that thought, fizzling to life.

  “Do you think you can handle that, kiddo?” He handed me pool cue.

  I smiled shyly. Wait, I’m feeling shy? “I’m pretty sure I can.”

  “Good. Cause I need you to pull through on this one. Lucky for you, Sarah sucks pretty bad.”

  “Hey now, Roger, you better watch what you say!” Sarah giggled into her drink. She was getting drunk, I could tell. I’d never seen her so giggly in all my life. “You’re not going to let him talk to me like that, are ya babe?” She wrapped her arm around Rhett’s waist and looked up at him adoringly. Her barely-there cleavage peaked out of her flashy purple shirt. Annoyance shot through me and I had to look away.

  “He’s going to eat his words.” Rhett’s voice was gruffer than I expected, with another meaning hidden beneath them. And I did what I didn’t want to do. I glanced up at him.