The Soul Believes It

by Julie Allan

  Chapter Eleven

  Traffic moved slow on the Isle of Palm Connector. It was late June, and even on a weekday, there were plenty of people bound for the beach. Lizzie was beginning to regret her decision to use this route, but she finally made it to the left-hand turn lane to Rifle Range Road. In the passenger seat beside her was a scrap envelope with Melanie Graham Fulton’s address on it. A short time later she turned into the entrance of Hamlin Plantation.

  The house was easy to find. It was built in the lowcountry style with a wide front porch and a metal roof. It was a cream-colored house with a robin’s egg blue door and shutters. The window boxes were an explosion of pink, yellow, and white blossoms. The front door was flanked by two cast iron urns with the same blooms and ivy spilling out. Such a friendly looking house! Lizzie took a deep breath and climbed the steps.

  She rang the front door before her nerves could get the best of her. She had practiced what to say on the drive over, but now her mouth went dry, and her mind went blank. What do you say to your dead mother’s long lost friend?

  The door was open by a petite older woman with a crisp silver bob. She was dressed in tennis attire, and her tanned arms told Lizzie she was an avid outdoors person. Her face, however, was still very much like the photos in Caroline’s yearbook. There were some fine lines around the eyes, but Melanie was either blessed with good genes or was dedicated to a regimen of skin care and sunscreen.

  “May I help you?” Melanie held the doorknob in one hand, brushing a stray hair back with the other.

  “Hi. I was hoping you could help me. My name is Lizzie Sawyer Long Wilson. My mother was Caroline Bowman. I found her yearbook with the two of you together in several pictures.” Lizzie paused to gauge Melanie’s reaction.

  A flicker of joy and sadness then back to joy flashed across her face. “Oh my, Caroline’s Elizabeth!” I haven’t seen you since . . . Well since your parent’s funeral. Please come in.”

  Lizzie stepped into the front hall. The inside of the house was as immaculate and charming as the outside. Southern Living feature homes had nothing on Melanie’s style.

  “Thank you. I was down in Beaufort doing some research on my mother and her family a few months ago and was given my mother’s yearbook among other things. Then I went back last week and found out you were married at St. Helena’s and I was able to discover that you lived

  Melanie escorted Lizzie onto a shady, screened back porch. “How wonderful you found me! Let me get us some iced tea, and then we can have a nice little chat. I look forward to hearing all about you!”

  Lizzie sat patiently drinking in her surroundings. The porch was divided into zones for dining, entertaining and relaxing in a swing bed, like so many lowcountry homes. Lizzie settled in front of the outdoor fireplace at the other end of the porch. Lush and thriving ferns and geraniums were scattered throughout. She relaxed against the cushion of her chair. I think I’m going to like this Melanie.

  Melanie returned with a tray holding two glasses of iced tea and a plate of cheese straws. Handing Lizzie a glass, she sat down in the chair opposite. “So, you found our yearbook. I can only say, we definitely had as much fun as the pictures indicate.”

  Lizzie nodded and sat down her glass. “I didn’t really get to know my parents, especially my mother. My Aunt Dorothy was able to tell me lots of stories about my father, but for my mother, she was limited to the years she knew her.” Lizzie took another sip of her glass and set it back down. “My Aunt Dorothy died a number of years ago, and I had neglected to go through some of her papers. Now that my children have grown, I decided it was time to tackle that project and discovered some surprising things about my mother.”

  Melanie nodded as if she knew what was coming. “I’m so glad to hear you have children of your own. Boys? Girls?”

  “One of each, Dot, short for Dorothy, is my eldest; she is out of college, and our son, Sawyer, he is between his junior and senior year at the Citadel.”

  Melanie held out the plate of cheese straws, and Lizzie selected one. “Thank you. I am hoping you might be able to shed some light on the surprises I mentioned on the phone as well as just tell me some more about Caroline, the girl.”

  “I imagine you found out about Caroline and her fiancé?”

  Lizzie nodded.

  A cloud of sadness veiled Melanie’s eyes. “The whole business was so sad. You see my husband, Rob and I were tight friends with Caroline and Cole. When Cole died, your mother was inconsolable.” Melanie hesitated, “Exactly what have you found out?”

  Lizzie smiled, it was comforting to think Caroline’s best friend was still guarding her secrets even after all these years. “I know about the baby and why my mother left Beaufort. I know how her parents just wrote her off.”

  “Well, you know the truth of it then. Your mother’s home life was less than idyllic. Luckily, she was not kept under lock and key as long as she was associating with what her parents considered the right kind of people. Cole, Rob and I fell into that category, just by virtue of our families. Cole was a wonderful boy, and he would have made a happy and loving home with Caroline if it wasn’t for that awful war. It affected the lives of so many of my peers. My Rob served as well, but he came back to me in one piece.”

  “Did my mother talk with you about her decision to put my sister up for adoption.”

  Melanie poured some more iced tea into both of their glasses. “She told me she was expecting right before she left town. A while later I received a letter from her in which she told me of her decision. Have you been in contact with your sister?”

  Lizzie explained about how she found out about her sister and what she had done to try to locate her. She told her all about meeting Aunt Beverley and how she had been working to learn more about her mother and her life.

  Melanie sighed, “I can only imagine what that must have been like to read those letters. You know, I think I may have kept a letter or two from Caroline, I have some pictures I can share with you as well. Give me a minute and let me see what I can dig up.”

  Once again Lizzie was left alone, and she indulged in a second cheese straw. Her mind tried to imagine Caroline at Melanie’s age. She could see they would have stayed friends. She could see Caroline aging gracefully in her own set of tennis clothes.

  Melanie returned with two photo albums and a shoe box filled with memorabilia. “I found some things you might like to take a look at.”

  Melanie sat down on the settee and patted the seat. Lizzie obediently moved over and sat beside her. Melanie handed her a photo album, and as Lizzie turned the pages, Melanie pointed out certain pictures and explained.

  “There we are on my tenth birthday. Oh, look this is when Caroline came with my family for a vacation in Myrtle Beach.”

  The second album contained pictures from high school and beyond. Caroline and Cole were in many pictures. Towards the end, there were a few pictures from Lizzie’s parent’s wedding and some of her parents at Melanie and Rob’s wedding.

  “As much as we loved Cole, both Rob and I really enjoyed time with your father. I think if they had lived we would have eventually been close.”

  “So, you and my mother kept in close contact after she left Beaufort?” Lizzie asked.

  “We did. First with letters and then I came up to Charleston to be your mother’s maid of honor. I also came up when you were born. She, in turn, came to Beaufort when I was married to be my matron of honor.”

  Melanie set back against the cushions. “That was very difficult for her, but she pulled it off with such style and grace, not a single tongue wagged about her estrangement with her parents. They were at the wedding you know; my parents could not figure out a polite way to not invite them.”

  Lizzie’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow, do you know if they spoke?”

  I know Caroline did not speak to her father, but she and her mother, Annabeth, had a moment in the ladies’ room. Annabeth had to step outside to compose herself before joining the crowd. Later, Car
oline told me she showed your grandmother a picture of you and told her how sad she was that she would never be a part of your life.”

  Lizzie felt a tear well up. “I can only imagine how abandoned Caroline must have felt by Annabeth. I can’t say I blame her for cutting her off from me. Although, from what I have learned about my grandmother, I think even if Annabeth had wanted to reach out and re-establish a relationship with my mother, he wouldn’t have let it happen.”

  Melanie nodded. “I think you are correct there. Mr. Bowman was an intimidating man.”

  She laid a hand on Lizzie’s hand and patted it. “I feel I owe you an apology.”

  Lizzie turned her head to look at her. “Whatever for?”

  “I should have made more of an effort to keep in touch with you after your mother died. Your Aunt Dorothy told me at the funeral I was always welcome. At first, I was so lost in my grief for your mother, and then, well, I had four children of my own in quick succession, all boys and they kept me busy.”

  “I don’t think that is something to apologize for. I’m just glad we have this chance to meet now.”

  Melanie began to dig through the shoe box, and eventually she pulled out two letters. “Here are two letters I saved from your mother to me. Let’s see . . . Yes, this one is first, it’s from shortly after your mother left Beaufort and the second one is about six months before my wedding.”

  Lizzie took them from her and stared down at her mother’s handwriting on the envelope. She wanted to read them but wasn’t sure she could handle the emotion in front of someone.

  Melanie took a sip of her tea. “I tell you what, why don’t you just take those with you to read at your leisure. In fact, I don’t mind if you keep them, I fancy that I kept them all these years just for this occasion.”

  Lizzie held the letters tighter in her grip. “Really, you don’t mind?”

  “Not at all. Besides, I would like to hear more about your life and family. I can only imagine how proud of you Caroline must be.”

  So, for the better part of the next hour, Lizzie told her all about Bennett, Aunt Dorothy, Dot, and Sawyer. She told her about growing up with Aunt Dorothy and Uncle George. How she and Bennett were childhood sweethearts, who almost missed their wonderful life together. She told her about the Biscuit Box and was delighted to hear that Melanie was a regular. She wondered how many times she had waited on her, never knowing she was her mother’s best friend. She talked about her best friends M.A. and Amy and then listened to Melanie talk about her sons, their wives, and her grandchildren.

  By the time they were finished, both were exhausted from filling in decades in a matter of hours. Lizzie departed with the promise to keep in touch.

  Back at the house, she took the letters down to the dock. Where she knew even if what she read was painful, the balm of the lowcountry would soothe her.

  She started with the letter written a few months after Caroline had left Beaufort.

  Dear Melanie,

  I hope this letter finds you in good spirits. I pray every day that the army will send you back Rob from Vietnam. I am doing alright. I have found a small gallery in Charleston to sell some of my work, and I have found an adoption agency in Columbia that will find a wonderful home for my baby. I can’t find the words to describe how agonizing this is. Every day I can feel this baby grow inside me and I am constantly reminded that Cole is gone forever. I ache for this to end. To close the door on this pain and try to move on.

  I keep telling myself that this is what is best for this child. After all, what kind of home can I provide as a single mother, making her living as an artist? But, then I fear that I am abandoning this child like my parents did me, just because it isthe harder road to travel. Please tell me what you think. I always thought we would raise our children together, the four of us. Now I feel as if I will never feel joy again. I feel guilty if I laugh or smile. I am so sad when I pass young mothers on the street. They smile at me as if to say just you wait and see how wonderful that bundle is you’re carrying. They have no idea. I did buy an old wedding ring in a pawn shop, and it has helped me fit in better. If asked, I say my husband was killed in Vietnam.That is not far from the truth, I was Cole’s, and this is his child.Give my love to your family. Write me back soon. I should be at this address at least until I give birth.

  Love always,

  Lizzie held the letter to her chest. She could feel Caroline’s intense pain and turmoil. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and the warm salt breeze dried them away. Lizzie sat listening to the wind rustle through the sweetgrass and let her heart absorb her mother’s words.

  A group of small sailboats appeared on the horizon. Summer sailing lessons. Lizzie remembered taking both Dot and Sawyer to lessons, and she laughed aloud when she remembered Dot soaking wet after many lessons, prone to embarrassing accidents, just like her mother. Just like the tide, the sadness ebbed from her heart, and she picked up the second letter.

  Dear Melanie,

  I can hardly wait for the wedding! You are going to make a beautiful bride. I am also thrilled with your choice for matron of honor dress, the vintage style strikes a chord with the artist in me. Both Bobby and I are grateful for your invitation to include Lizzie in the wedding festivities, but since my parents will be there, we have decided to leave her here with Bobby’s older sister Dorothy and her husband George. I hope you will get a chance to meet them someday, they are such delightful people. I have made Bobby promise to not confront mother or father. I know he is itching to do so, but what could it accomplish, but a scene to set the tongues a-wagging for days. Lizzie is growing like a weed. She is adding to her vocabulary every day, and she adores the book you sent. She insists I read it to her every night before bed. My heart is so full. I can’t imagine life getting better than this. I have been working on the painting of the egret you requested. I will bring it down when I come for the shower next month. I am so pleased that Rob wants to take Bobby out fishing. I’m hoping they will become good friends. See you in a few weeks.

  Love always,

  Caroline

  The happiness of this letter was in stark contrast to the first. Lizzie looked out at the late afternoon sun as it danced on the waves in the harbor right up to the dock. The warmth of her mother’s words embraced her from within. For a few years, Caroline had the loving family she so desperately wanted. For a few years, Lizzie and Bobby had created that golden time, banishing the pain to the past and allowing Caroline to flourish. The peace of knowing that loosened the knots of hate towards her grandparents that had tied around her heart. She would never like them, but she didn’t have to hold on to the anger towards them. Her mother, their Caroline, had found a way past all that. Lizzie folded the letter and returned it to its age-worn envelope. She closed her eyes and saw clearly her mother, her father and herself, sitting on a picnic blanket in the park, just enjoying each other.

  “Lizzie, wake up.” Bennett laid his hand on Lizzie’s shoulder.

  Lizzie, startled, half-stood and then fell back into her chair.

  Bennett sat down in his chair and popped the top off his beer. “That must have been some dream you were having.”

  Lizzie rubbed her eyes. “What makes you say that?”

  “The smile that was on your face. I almost didn’t wake you.”

  Lizzie reached over and stroked Bennett’s arm. “It was a lovely dream about my parents. I didn’t intend to fall asleep, I closed my eyes to think about them, and I must have dozed off.”

  “I take it the visit with Melanie Graham Fulton went well?”

  “Oh, yes! She was delightful, and she had great pictures and stories to tell about my mother. She also gave me two letters my mother wrote to her.”

  Bennett laid a hand over Lizzie’s. “I’m glad; it seems you have come to terms with your mother’s past pretty well.”

  Lizzie nodded. “I’m surprised. At first, I was horrified by what happened with her and Cole and her parents. But, it seems that her journey led her to a ha
ppy life, and I am so glad my daddy and I gave her such joy.”

  Bennett held Lizzie’s gaze. “I certainly can say you have given me a joyful life.”

  Lizzie felt tears well up again. “Right back at you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Bennett packed the cooler with ice packs and began loading the containers that Lizzie had set on the kitchen table. Dot and Hudson were on their way. Sawyer was already out on the water with friends, but he promised they would try and meet up on the water. Lizzie was bustling around the kitchen cleaning up from her Fourth of July picnic prep.

  “Hey hon, are these the only containers for the cooler?”

  “Make sure you get the pickled shrimp from the fridge.” Lizzie made a last wipe of the counter, satisfied it was clean.

  Bennett retrieved it. “Got it. I’m going to go ahead and take this down to the boat.”

  Lizzie grabbed his arm. “Here, take the big bag down instead and wait for Hudson to help you with the cooler.”

  Bennett rolled his eyes, “Yes, dear!”

  Lizzie turned her attention to the smaller bag, double-checking it for sunscreen, lip balm, and other boating essentials. She went ahead and reapplied sunscreen to her face, arms and chest.

  Dot entered in from the back porch. “We’re here!”

  Lizzie glanced up and smiled. “Is Hudson invisible now?”

  “Ha, Ha, Mama, he went ahead and took our bag down to the boat and to see if Daddy needed any help.” Dot sat down at the table.

  “I think all they need to do is load the cooler and we will be set for departure.” Lizzie swung her bag over her shoulder.

  Dot stood up. “Well then, let’s get on board.”

  Bennett and Hudson entered the kitchen and Hudson came straight over to Lizzie and gave her a hug.

  “Happy Fourth of July!” Lizzie said as she hugged him back.

  Hudson winked, “A little bird told me this was your favorite holiday.”