The Saint of Petersburg (Dancing Dream #3)

by Leslie DuBois

  “Yeah, I do. A lot,” I said turning her toward me.

  “Why?”

  “Because you learned fouettés in one day.”

  Smiling she said, “No, seriously.”

  “I am serious. It takes a special type of person to do that. The determination and drive you have, not to mention that pure, raw talent, reminds me of me when I was your age.”

  “Do you think one day I can be as good as you?”

  “Hey, let’s not get crazy now.” We both laughed for a moment, and then I said, “Seriously, though, I think you can do whatever you set your mind to.”

  “Thank you, Ms. Sonya,” she said wrapping her arms around me. Well, at least she tried to. With the size of my belly, she couldn’t quite make it.

  “Now, do you want to explain to me how a twelve-year-old makes a business out of tutoring fifteen-year-olds?”

  She shrugged. “It’s not that hard.”

  “What do you mean ‘not that hard’?” You’re twelve and you’re homeschooled. He’s fifteen and in high school. How do you even know what he’s studying?”

  “Easy. I have my clients call me the night before their appointment and tell me what topic they need help with. Then I go on YouTube and find tutorials about that topic. Once I teach it to myself I can easily teach them.”

  “Wait. What?”

  Tiki sighed at my lack of understanding then said, “Davonte, the boy who was just here, has a test on quadratic equations tomorrow. So last night, I went to YouTube and typed in Quadratic Equations Tutorial.” She went to her computer to demonstrate. After typing in those words, she said, “See. Look. Like twenty videos pop up. Last night I spent an hour watching a few of them and then today I was ready to teach Davonte.”

  I took a look at the computer screen. It was pretty ingenious. I never knew you could use YouTube to study for school. All I ever used it for was to watch dance videos.

  “Oh my goodness. You’re like a genius or something. How did you learn all this in one night?”

  She shrugged. “It wasn’t that hard.”

  “And not only learn it, but then explain it? Wow, where were you when I was in high school?” I asked.

  “In diapers,” she said with a smirk.

  I balled up a sheet of paper and threw it at her head. “I am not that old, kid. So unless you wanna go back to using diapers, I suggest you show some respect.”

  She laughed as I kept throwing sheets of paper at her. “Okay, Okay. But you can’t hurt me until after my audition, right?”

  She was right about that.

  Chapter 32

  Anna in New York

  I was almost seven months pregnant when Anna Marie called and invited me to visit her and Raffaele in New York. They had just spent a week with her parents in Minnesota and I didn’t think Raffaele considered a trip to the States worthwhile unless he could also visit New York and go shopping.

  I wasn’t sure why I had never called her and told her about the baby. Maybe a part of me felt I should tell the father before my best friend. In any case, I knew she was in for the surprise of her life when I agreed to meet her and Raffaele for lunch.

  As soon as I entered the restaurant, Anna Marie’s mouth flew open in shock. She was frozen and apparently couldn’t move. I guessed that was Raffaele’s cue to take over the conversation.

  He stood up and kissed me on both cheeks before starting to babble about how the extra weight really suited my frame and how he wouldn’t mind if his Marie filled out a little more.

  Anna Marie slapped him on the arm. “Raffi, she’s not gaining weight just to look better. She’s pregnant, silly.” Then she pushed him out of the way and hugged me. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked still holding me.

  “I haven’t even told Will,” I said with tears in my eyes.

  “So it is Will’s then?”

  I nodded. Unable to even speak Damian’s name I said, “It couldn’t be anyone else’s.”

  “Baby? A baby! That is fantastic. Is it a boy or girl?” Raffaele asked in Italian.

  “A boy.”

  “Fantastic. A boy. We must celebrate. We must shop,” he said, pulling Anna Marie toward the door.

  “We haven’t even eaten yet!” she said.

  “Eat later. Shop now. Yes?” he said in broken English.

  “You should be happy I’m absolutely in love with you.” She kissed him then said, “Go shop. We’re going to eat. We’ll meet you on Fifth Avenue in an hour.”

  Raffaele kissed his Maria, gave me another hug, then dashed out the door all the while babbling about baby shoes and how important the first pair were and how Uncle Raffaele was going to find the very best.

  “So, Will doesn’t know?” Anna Marie asked after Raffaele had left.

  I shook my head. “Our relationship is complicated enough without adding a kid into the mix.”

  “Yeah, but –”

  “Yes, I know he should know. But I want us to get back together because we love each other not because we have a kid on the way.”

  Anna Marie held up her hands in defeat. “Okay, you’re the boss. So, are you okay?”

  “Actually, I’m great. I think I’m the best I’ve ever been in my life.”

  “But what are you going to do? Are you ready to raise this baby on your own?”

  Sighing I said, “If I have to.”

  “Well, no matter what, you won’t have to be alone. You have me. And Raffaele.”

  “That’s so sweet, but you guys are all the way in Rome. It’s not like I can call you for some emergency babysitting.”

  Anna Marie shook her head excitedly. “No, we’re not. That’s why I wanted to meet you here today. We have awesome news. Not as awesome as your news,” she said, rubbing my belly. “But it’s still pretty cool.”

  “Well, what?” I asked when she didn’t elaborate.

  “Raffi got a job as the New York buyer for a boutique in Milan. He’s going to get paid to shop eight hours a day.”

  “Seriously?”

  “I know, right? It’s his dream job. I haven’t seen him this happy since … well … since he got these boots for 60% off last week.” Anna Marie pointed to her swanky black suede boots.

  “Yeah, those are pretty cute. But what about you? Are you okay moving to New York to be with him? Didn’t DiRisio offer you a contract?”

  “I go where Raffi goes. That’s what you do when you’re in love. Besides, it’s not like he’s taking me to Butt Crack, Mississippi. This is New York, the dance capital of the States. I have three auditions lined up with companies this week alone. I’m sure I’ll find something. And even if I don’t, I’ll just sit back and enjoy trying on new clothes every day.”

  “Or maybe I can be your plan B,” I said.

  “What do you mean?”

  After we ordered our food, I told her everything about Tiki and about Will encouraging me to start a school. The whole time Anna Marie just had this big huge grin on her face.

  “What are you smiling at?” I asked her finally.

  “Are you kidding? Everything. I’m smiling at all of it. Teaching Tiki how to do fouettés, deciding to help kids from your old neighborhood, not to mention the fact that I’ve never seen you eat so much food in one sitting … ever!” Anna Marie hopped out of her seat and gave me another hug. “You can count on me for anything, Sonya. I will babysit, I will help you teach, oh, when I sign with a company I’ll get free tickets for your students. Whatever you want, you can count on Anna in New York.”

  Chapter 33

  Junior Ballet League

  I personally choreographed Tiki’s audition piece for the Junior Ballet League. Her fouettés had become even more polished and were definitely the focal point of the routine. I took some liberties with her choice of music, however. She didn’t have the same appreciation of the classics that I had at that age. It would probably take a few years before she had the same love of Shostakovich and Tchaikovsky that I had. I tried to give her a chance to pick
out her own music for her audition piece, but after listening to three or four horrific rap songs that were so awful I thought my ears would snap off and run away from my head, I took back that opportunity.

  In desperation to try to find something we could agree on, I started playing everything in the studio’s music collection. I played everything from Bach to Stravinsky. I even ventured into contemporary music and played some classic show tunes from Phantom of the Opera and Cats. She despised them. How anyone despises Phantom of the Opera was simply beyond me.

  Finally, after clicking on some random songs in Ms. Alexander’s collection, I stumbled on some blues sung by Aretha Franklin. When Tiki didn’t immediately start yelling, ‘no,’ I knew we had a winner.

  Her routine turned out fantastic. It began classically with a pirouette combination ending with a series of arabesques and attitudes to the simple blues guitar riff. Then suddenly a beat kicked in and Aretha Franklin’s soul melody filled the air along with Tiki’s emotional dancing. It was heartwarming to see her move so confidently and expertly through her chaînés, bourées, and éschapés. I was even able to throw in a leg grab turn that she was so fond of.

  During the technical part of the audition was when things went downhill. I didn’t stay for the whole part, but I was there long enough to see that her turn out was just not at the same level as the other girls. This was perfectly understandable. Turning out your legs from your hips was such an unnatural stance that it took dancers years to learn. There was no way she could master it in the short time she had been training. I knew that when I signed her up for this.

  Spectators weren’t allowed during the selection process. All of the dancers crowded into the auditorium as the judges read off the list of those accepted. I knew how auditions worked. I had been through quite a few during my almost eleven years of dancing. I also had a feeling as to how this one would turn out.

  I knew they were finished as clusters of girls, some crying, some cheering began pouring out of the auditorium. Tiki wasn’t among them.

  Entering the room I found her standing in front of the stage. Her bag and all of its contents were scattered on the floor. She must have thrown it to the ground in anger.

  “I didn’t know what ahneerear meant,” she said looking away from me.

  “Ahneerear? What does that ...” I thought about it for a second. “Oh, you mean arriére?”

  She nodded.

  “It means you should execute the movement away from the audience.”

  “They asked for a glissade en arriére and I didn’t know what she meant. I did a regular glissade and I went in the wrong direction and I was off from everyone else and then I got nervous and then I froze.” She said all of this in one breath as if she was afraid that if she stopped to take another breath she wouldn’t be able to finish.

  I rubbed my belly for a moment to calm myself. I was upset and it wasn’t even me who auditioned. “That’s understandable, Tiki. There are so many terms you still have to --”

  “I didn’t make,” she said fighting against the tears in her eyes.

  “Well of course you didn’t make it. You’ve only been training for three months.” I walked, well, waddled to a seat in the front row and sat down. My feet were killing me. “Most of these girls have been dancing since before they had three teeth.”

  She looked at me with her mouth agape. The urge to cry must have been suddenly replaced with shock. Or anger. “You knew I wouldn’t make it?”

  “Yep,” I said slipping off my right shoe and massaging my foot.

  “Well, then why did you put me through this?” she asked picking up one of her ballet shoes and launching them across the room.

  “Because I wanted to show you what was out there. I wanted to give you a taste of what you can do.” She didn’t respond. She breathed in heavy heaves as if weighed down by anger. If I wasn’t pregnant, I would have been afraid that she would hit me. But no one could hit a pregnant woman, right? Hoping this was true, I continued. “I will bet my life that after a day of going through these auditions that ballet is now in your veins and that you never want to let it go.”

  She crossed her arms and looked away. I took that as a sign that I was right.

  “You want it don’t you? You want it so bad you can taste it. You want to be on that stage, warmed by the fluorescent lights and cheered on by adoring fans. You want your picture on the cover of the program and your name on a marquee.”

  She didn’t deny it.

  “What you’ve done in three months, took me three years to accomplish. You have a gift Tiki and you have only just taken off the ribbon. There is so much more to the package.”

  Looking at me she said, “What if I try and I fail? What if I’m just not that good?”

  I slipped my shoe back on and stood up. “If you aim for the moon, even if you don’t make it, you’ll still be amongst the stars.” She looked away again. “So what if you fail?” I continued. “You failed today and you’re still alive.” I stepped closer and put my arm around her. “And doesn’t it make you want to try harder? Didn’t it ignite a fire in you that can only be stamped out by a few more fouettés?” I grabbed her shoulders and turned her toward me. “Tiki, you still have five more years of eligibility to be accepted into the Junior Ballet League. If you want, I’ll train you. And I guarantee you’ll get in.”

  “You’d do that? You’d train me? Why?”

  “Because I believe in you. And I know you can do it.”

  That was enough. I saw the spark of determination gleam in her eye. It was a spark I’d seen in my own eyes so many times over the years. I knew Tiki was going to be a prima ballerina one day.

  Chapter 34

  Yes Times Three

  I couldn’t get Will’s idea out of my head. I thought about it constantly. While I was awake, while I was asleep, while I was eating, while I was dancing and especially when I was walking through my neighborhood.

  Will and I didn’t talk again after that one night. Not that I didn’t think about calling him all the time. But I kind of understood him a little more. He did need time. I was willing to give him all the time he needed. I just hoped he made up his mind before the baby was born. I had no idea how he would react about this pretty important secret I was keeping. It was virtually impossible for me to ignore. I was coming to that stage of the pregnancy where I could barely walk without waddling.

  “Why you hold you back? You in pain?” Keiko asked.

  “I’m eight months pregnant and I just taught a full day of classes. Yes, of course, I’m in pain.”

  “Hey, don’t look at me. No one told you start teaching.” Keiko grabbed her bag and swung it over her shoulder. “Hey, don’t pop out no baby here. You ruin floor.” She started to head for the door then stopped and turned around. “You sit. You no look too good.” She grabbed my arm and led me to the couch in her office. “I take you to hospital?” she asked once I was seated.

  I shook my head. “No, it’s just gas.”

  “That a whole lotta gas.” She crossed her arms and stared at me.

  “Really, Keiko, I’m fine. Go catch your plane.”

  She looked at her watch. “I call someone. I call you mother.”

  “Keiko, I’m fine. My friend is coming to get me any minute.” That wasn’t exactly true but it would be as soon as I waddled over to the phone to call someone. I really didn’t want her to miss her plane. This choreography job she had was going to bring a lot of money and fame to her studio. She deserved more recognition.

  She looked at her watch again. “Fine, I go. But I call you in thirty minutes. And then another thirty minutes. And another ... until you have baby.”

  I smiled. “Okay.”

  She hugged me then shuffled out of the studio. Once she was gone, I took a deep breath and used all my strength to stand up. Then I did the bloated penguin walk over to Keiko’s desk. I knew I wasn’t in labor or anything. I just felt too achy and tired to walk home. I wondered if Tyrell would mind pi
cking me up. I was just about to start dialing when I heard the bell on the studio door ring.

  “Kieko, I’m fine!”I yelled, thinking she had come back to check on me.

  “Who’s Keiko?” a familiar deep voice said.

  I looked up and froze. The phone dropped out of my hand. It was Will. My husband Will was standing in Ms. Alexander’s dance studio. My mind flashed back to almost two years ago when we had our first kiss in this very room. Now he seemed like a stranger. A stranger whose baby I was carrying. A baby he still didn’t know about. I slid to the left a little so that the computer would cover my belly.

  “You wanna hang that up?”

  “What?” I suddenly noticed that the phone was making that annoying beeping noise it makes when you didn’t dial soon enough. “Oh, right.” I said, hanging up the phone.

  “Hi, Sony,” he said. “You look great.”

  “You look ... tall.” I couldn’t believe I said that. I hadn’t seen him in six months and all I could say was that he looked tall. What was the matter with me?

  Will smiled. Oh God, I had forgotten what power that smile had over me. My eyes watered just at the sight of it.

  “How are you? You look great. I mean ... I already said that...but you really do look amazing. Have you gained weight?”

  I blinked away tears and said, “Yep. Sure did. So, how are you?” I asked, trying to quickly change the conversation. “Are you ... okay?”

  Will looked down then ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m better,” he said. “Much better. But I don’t think I’ll ever be ‘okay,’ especially without you.”

  I swallowed the urge to burst into tears. I didn’t trust myself to talk without my voice shaking so I just stayed silent.

  “Is it too late for us, Sony? Can we try it again?”

  I still couldn’t speak.

  “I know we’ve been through a lot. I know I’ve put you through a lot and I’m sorry. If I could take it all back I would. If I could go back to the way things were before Veronica, before Damian, I would. If I could make myself instantly well, I would.” Will took a step toward me. I scooted closer to the desk, still trying to hide my belly. “The thing is I’m always going to have this disorder. I’m always going to have to fight it. But I want to fight it with you by my side.”