“Neatly done. Morn and Dad,” Bolivar said, looking in the rearview mirror. “Not a soul in the street noticed. And I’ve just gone by the third turning.” “Very good. Just drive on along the coast while we figure out what to do with them.” “Cut their throats, wire boulders to their ankles, dump them into the sea,” Angelina said, smiling cheerfully.
“No, darling,” I said, patting her graceful hand, “you are reformed, remember? No more maiming or slaughter...” “That doesn’t apply to the police!” “Yes, dearest, to the police as well.” She sat back in her corner muttering darkly, while I explained what I had in mind. “When I spoke of figuring out what to do with them, I simply meant where we would leave them after they have each been given a shot of amnesial. A drug which, as you undoubtedly know, wipes out all memory of events that took place up to twenty hours before the injection.” “Strychnine works faster.” “It does, my pet, but it is far more permanent.” “Look, Dad, there’s a side road ahead,” Bolivar said. “It appears to lead up towards the jungle.” “Perfect. Go that way while I give them the shots.” Since mayhem had been ruled out, Angelina would have nothing to do with the arrangements. I slipped out the medkit and took care of everything myself. Bolivar found an unpaved farm track leading off among the trees and backed into it. We slipped the sleeping simpletons under some thick bushes and left, driving back along the same route. James was waiting near the restaurant and climbed into the front seat. “Been joyriding?” he asked.
“Getting rid of some nosy cops,” I told him. “What happened to Jorge?” “I followed him to a bar and was drinking nearby when he told his friends how he had been up all night at a tourist party and was now going to go to bed. “ “Where he is now-and you know where it is?” “Right the first time. Dad. And I imagine you would like to disturb his beauty sleep. I’ll show you the way.” I went in alone, picking the front door lock with a single dextrous twitch of my fingers. I’ve done this sort of thing so often before that I had to stifle a yawn. You’re a real pro, Jim, I told myself as I tiptoed in silence across the darkened room. Pride goeth before a fall. Jorge either had ears like a cat, was an incredibly light sleeper-or there was a silent alarm attached to the front door. But whatever it was didn’t matter. The result did.
The lights came on just as I was halfway across the room. Jorge stood in the doorway to the bedroom aiming a large and nasty-looking pistol at me.
“Say a farewell prayer, spy,” he said coldly. “For I am Ihnll, tf Llll i/rni
Chapter 8
“Don’t shoot, Jorge! I’m a friend... “ “Who skulks in like a thief in the night?” “In the day, full daylight out. And I came this way because I didn’t want to be seen. I’m one of the good guys, like you, and like Flavia...” That almost got me killed. “What do you know of Flavia?” He shouted, and I swear the knuckle on his trigger finger whitened with the strain. I put a little drama into the situation by dropping to my knees and spreading my arms wide in supplication.
“Hear me out, brave Jorge! I come from the other planets where your message was received. The one you gave to the tourist and his wife who were kicked off your fair world.” “How do you know about that?” The gun muzzle lowered slightly. I stood up, brushed off my knees, then went to sit on his couch.
“I know-because I am that tourist. A little disguised outside, but still the same within.” “I do not believe you. You could be a police spy.” “Right. I could be anything. But I’m not and I can prove it. I know things no one else could possibly know. Like I know that it was my wife who met Flavia on the beach, where Flavia gave her a five-page message for help, which she memorized right on the spot. Which she later told to me, which I memorized too, which I will recite for you.” And I did, all five pages of it. And as I droned on and on the gun sank lower and lower until, when I finished, he put it aside.
“I believe you now,” he said. “For I wrote that message and only Flavia has seen it. “ He rushed forward, eyes flashing, and pulled me to my feet and embraced me, then kissed me warmly on both cheeks. He needed a shave.
40 “Yes, well. I’m glad we agree at last,” I said, pulling myself free. “Always happy to be of help.” “I still find it hard to believe,” he waxed. “We have always failed in the past to get aid from outside. Some months ago we managed to smuggle one of our members out on a tourist ship, but we have heard nothing of him since.” “Was he small, dark and with a crooked nose?” “He was. But how did you know...?” “It is my sad duty to inform you that he is dead. Undoubtedly murderd by police agents.” “Poor Hector, he was such a brave man. He was sure that he would be able to contact the legendary Rat of Steel, who might condescend to help us...” Jorge’s voice ran out like a broken recording machine and his eyes bulged interestingly from his head. I looked down humbly at my nails, then buffed them on my lapel. He gurgled.
“You aren’t... you can’t be...” “Happily for your sake-1 am! I am known by many names throughout the worlds. De rat van roestvrij staal, Ratinox, die Edelstahlratte, El Escurridizo, even un criminale al nichelcromo. At your service. Now tell me about your setup here, and what your plans are.” “Simply and depressingly stated. We have no plans and are in a state of disarray. The secret police are too efficient. All resistance organizations are penetrated and destroyed even as they are formed. Ours is a new organization and already Flavia is known and in hiding. Since I see many tourists it was she who devised the plan to seek help from off our planet. I am ashamed, we are so feeble.” “Best news ever. Gives me a free hand. Do you have any idea if there are others with like feelings?” “All of the peasants would like to kill President Zapilote and his army of secret police, the Ultimados as they are called. But they are powerless. The power is in the hands of the rich and the middle class, and they are the ones who support Zapilote all the way. Of course he is disliked by many of the old nobility who lost power when he took over, but they are not organized in any way.” I had the glimmerings of an idea. “Nobility? Tell me more about them.” “There is little to be said. It is from their ranks that I so shamefully come. I have an unimpressive title, of no importance. It is because of the title that I am trusted to meet with the tourists. Rank still has a few small privileges. Until that swine Zapilote appeared on the scene we had a peaceful monarchy on this planet. Admittedly it was inefficient and didn’t work very well, but people had enough to eat and there was no murder or torture. But there was just enough unrest so that people listened when Zapilote began preaching his liberty and equality for all. It sounded good-but he meant nothing that he said. It was just words to him. But enough people had faith in him so that the democratic movement spread until even the nobility began to think that it was a good idea. The first elections were held and Zapilote became president. By the time he was up for re-election he had all of the corrupt generals on his side, as well as his secret police. With the help of the military and his Ultimados that election was rigged, and every one since then, every four years. Though apparently he will soon be up for election again he is in reality General-President for life.” The idea that had been scratching away at my subconscious broke through at last and I shouted aloud with joy.
“Oh no, he’s not! This planet is going to see an election like it has never seen before!” “What do you mean?” “We are going to find one of the old nobility who can be trusted, who is, hopefully, honest enough to want to run for office. Then we will make him a candidate for president.” “But the election will be rigged!” “You had better believe that. Rigged by me! I’ll teach these backwater-planet election-riggers a thing or two about crooked politics. We’ll win in a landslide.” “Can it be done?” “Just watch. But it is up to you to find us a decent candidate.” He rubbed his jaw and frowned. “I must think.” “Why don’t we lubricate the thought processes with some ron?” “Wonderful. I have aged ron here that is too good for the tourists, if you will excuse my saying so, that you might enjoy. “ I certainly did. I smacked and sipped and made yum-yum noises and we toasted ea
ch other and ‘the coming new day and finally got back to work.
“The best people are those who live farthest from the cities,” Jorge said, alcohol and ron having worked their wonders upon his brain, which was now churning away at a great rate. “Deep in the interior of this continent there are the large estates where they raise coffee and wheat and bizcocho berries. The peasants who work there are happy, the overseers kind, the nobility fair. As long as they supply food to the cities and stay out of politics, why Zapilote lets them alone.” “Do you know any of these people?” “I know all of them, of course, since we are all related.” “Can you think of any one of them might help us out?” “Just one. Gonzales de Torres, the Marquez de la Rosa. He is just, honest, fair, upright, handsome, courageous and hates Zapilote.” “He can’t be all bad. How well do you know him?” “He is a third cousin four times removed on my mother’s side. I see him at funerals and weddings and things like that. But I know all about him. There are no secrets in the aristocracy. “ “I have a feeling he is our man. How do we get in touch with him?” “We must obtain a car...” “Already done. Will you come with us?” “I dare not leave my job! It would be too suspicious. But Flavia could guide you. I will give her a message. She will be safer away from this place.” I took a last guzzle of the ron and placed the glass reluctantly back on the table. “Then it’s all set. I’ll take my troops for a ride in the country where we will have a picnic and a siesta. By this time it will be after dark and you will tell me where and when we are to pick her up.” “It will take time to locate her-and I must work today. But if you will come to this building at midnight I will be outside. I will take you to her.” “As good as done.” I started to leave then turned back and pointed to the dust-shrouded bottle of vintage ron. “Once they are opened these ancient beverages tend to spoil. You wouldn’t like me to take care of that for you?” “Take it, I beg you,” he said pressing the bottle upon me. “I have more, I will bring many bottles with me tonight when we meet.” “There are advantages to this planet never mentioned in the tourist brochures. Aged ron and rigged elections. Why this place is a paradise indeed!”
Chapter 9
“Sounds like a great plan. Dad,” the twins said in enthusiastic chorus.
“It would be a lot greater if that foxy Flavia weren’t coming along with us,” Angelina sniffed.
I took a delicate sip of the aged ron and waved my hand in airy dismissal. “Dear wife, my philandering days are long past-even if they only existed in your deliciously suspicious mind. I have eyes for no other! Even the fair Flavia.” Angelina arched her eyebrows at my words, either in disbelief, or appreciation, and I did not question her as to which. Life was quiet and restful at the moment and I intended to savor every fleeting instant. Because it was sure to get very busy in the near future. This was the lull before the storm, the girding of loins before the conflict. We sat in the clearing in the forest, high in the hills above the coast, delightfully full after our rustic picnic. Empty dishes were scattered around us; the sun was dropping, as was the level in the ron bottle. James was dozing. Bolivar tinkering with the car; I lay with my head in Angelina’s lap very much at peace with the world.
“This is the life,” I sighed. “Maybe I ought to retire to some restful planet like this where we can while away our declining years in the sunlight...” “Nonsense,” Angelina said in her most practical voice. “You would be bored to exasperation in less than a day. The only reason you are enjoying yourself now is because you are about to go into action-and you are also half-bombed on that antique ron you have been knocking back all day. “ “You slight me! I’m as sober as a octogenarian teetotaler. I can recite pi to twenty decimal places.” “Say she sells sea shells.” “See shells she sells.” “Wonderful!” She stood up suddenly and my head thudded 44 to the ground. “Time we got going. James, carry your father to the car if he is unable to walk.” James opened a conspiratorial eye and winked at me. I winked back and rolled over. Then did a quick fifty push-ups to start the blood flowing again. And instantly regretted it as flowing blood started a wicked hammering in my head. This ron was potent stuff. I finished the last dregs in the bottle and buried it from me, swearing off it for life. Or at least until tomorrow.
Within short moments we were ready for the road again. James had cleared away the debris and Angelina slipped the soiled dishes back into the picnic basket-through the cleaner slot in the lid where supersonics blasted away every remaining trace of food.
I don’t remember much about the return journey since I managed to sleep most of the way. Harboring my energies, not sleeping off a drunk as Angelina so humorously suggested. Her dainty elbow in my ribs stirred me to life as we swung by Jorge’s apartment. He was waiting in the shadows, darting forward as we stopped and hurling himself in beside us.
“Drive on! Quickly!” he gasped, which Bolivar of course did. “Tragedy has struck! We are lost! Flavia has been captured by the Ultimados!” “When did this happen?” I asked.
“Just a few minutes ago. I had the call just as I was leaving. A carload of them attacked the farm where she was staying.” “Is this farm far away?” “Not very far-a half an hour’s drive perhaps.” “Then we can cut them off before they bring her in.” “Yes-it is possible!” Enthusiasm replaced despair. “Turn left here, quickly. There is only the single road. But I must warn you, they are heavily armed and dangerous.” Jorge looked around at us as though we were mad, as we all burst out laughing at once. Then fell back into our seats as Bolivar gunned the car to roaring life. Armed and dangerous indeed!
It took us less than five minutes to reach the road that led down from the plateau. Hopefully we were ahead of the heavies. I stood up in the back seat and surveyed the scene for long seconds, working out a plan.
“Right,” I said pointing at James. “Dig out a full-size debonder and some needle guns. Everyone out of the car.
Bolivar, take it back down the road out of sight. Angelina, you are going to be the bait in the trap.” “How thoughtful!” As the car thundered away I pointed my flashlight at a large tree that hung over the road. “Use the debonder to drop that tree right across the road...” I tilled my head as I heard the sound of a distant car. “And quickly, since I can hear them coming.” We could see the advancing headlights as we took up our positions of concealment on both sides of the road. Angelina lay sprawled beside the tree, her legs under the trunk as though trapped. The headlights grew brighter, sending swooping beams through the trees, then the car was around the bend with the downed tree directly before it. Brakes squealed and for one horrified moment I thought the thing would hit Angelina. But it shuddered to a stop in time, and she waved an arm feebly and called out for help.
And that’s all there was to it. The driver emerged and while his door was open there was the slight rustle of the needle guns firing. Powerful electromagnetic fields hurled out the tiny slivers of steel. Each one tipped with a powerful sleeping drug. The driver folded down neatly onto the road as I jumped forward, flashlight in one hand, gun ready in the other.
My precautions were not needed. The car was filled with the gross and snoring forms of the secret policemen. And, as a measure of our marksmanship, a frightened and conscious Flavia sat in their midst.
“You have been saved,” I said taking her hand and helping her from the car. And dropping the hand quickly as my wife appeared, brushing dust from her skirt and firing up the furnaces in her eyes. Jorge took over where I left off, not only taking the abandoned hand but kissing it passionately. He was a great one for kissing was Jorge.
“Other than the fact they almost ran me down it was a satisfactory operation,” Angelina said. “All we have to do now is put the driver back into the car with a thermite grenade in his lap.” I sighed and gave her hand a good kissing, a la Jorge, since it seemed a nice thing to do. “I died a thousand deaths while the ancient brakes on this vehicle labored to do their job. Next time I lie under the tree and you shoot the Ultimados. James, Bolivar, would you be so k
ind as to lay these sleeping uglies out of sight in the woods. Please help yourself to what you might need from their pockets. Jorge-that’s it, let her hand dry off for a minute-can you drive this car?” “Of course! Do you think I am a peasant?” “Never! Sorry. Can you think of a place to drive it to where it won’t be found for awhile?” “Of course, A nice high cliff above the bay where it will hurtle down into the sea and rest there for eternity. “ “I think that will be long enough. So that is your job. Yes, that’s right, a few last quick kisses for Flavia’s hand and you can take off.” We all waved as the police car rocketed away. Flavia turned to face us and I noticed for the first time that one eye was half-closed and she had bruises on her face.
“I’ll get the medkit,” Angelina said. “And if I had known that they had worked you over-those Ultimados would be having a far longer sleep.” “I can find no way to thank you,” Flavia said, with feeling. “Not only for saving me, but for what you plan to do. Jorge told me everything. Can you do all that you say?” “He can do anything,” Angelina replied, applying antiseptic cream. “With a few certain exceptions as long as I’m around. “ “All finished. Dad,” Bolivar said, emerging from the woods with an armload of clothing. James was behind him, laden with shoes. “We saw what they did to this young lady so we figured it would be nice if they had to walk back to town naked and barefoot.” “Most considerate. Flavia, these are our sons, James and Bolivar.” They shook hands enthusiastically, while Angelina patted my arm and smiled. “Love at first sight, I can tell by the way they crinkle their eyes. Now shouldn’t we get moving?” We got. Climbing up the road to the plateau, then turning onto the main highway, following Flavia’s instructions.
“Once we get into the interior we will be safe, for the Ultimados only dare venture there in armed convoys. But there will be immense difficulties in penetrating the Barrier. “ “What is that?” I asked.
The Stainless Steel Rat for President ssr-5 Page 5
