The Stainless Steel Rat for President ssr-5

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The Stainless Steel Rat for President ssr-5 Page 6

by Harry Harrison


  “It goes right across the continent and is impossible to get past except at the guard stations. Barbed wire, layers of it, electrified steel mesh fence with poison barbs in the top, concrete walls, mines, detectors of all kinds. Completely impassable.” “Sounds easy enough to get by,” Angelina said. “Jim, open another bottle of that nice champagne to settle our nerves while you work out a plan.” Flavia sat on the jump seat sipping daintily at her wine. I barely tasted mine; there had been enough drinking for one day.

  “Tell me about the guard stations,” I said.

  “They are small forts that span the road, which . is then completely sealed to passage by double steel gates. Many troops are stationed in the forts and they have heavy weapons of all kinds. In order to pass . you must have proper identification. And everything is searched. We will never get by.” “Never,” Angelina said firmly, “is a word that our family does not contain in its vocabulary. What do you think, Jim? The barrier or the guard station?” “The station, of course. It is easier to deal with people than trying to blast our way through all that concrete and hardware. How much further do we have to go?” Flavia looked out at the next signpost caught by the beam of our headlights. “Two hundred kilometers, perhaps a little more.” “Did you hear that, James?” “Got it.” “Log it then, so you can turn on the radar about forty Ks out. You should get a good image. Stop when you’re ten Ks short of the target and we’ll go to action stations.” I could see from her expression that Flavia thought we were mad. Rich tourists in an old car-about to take on the cream of the army. She, as well as they, had a few surprises in store. I sipped a little more champagne as I went over the details of the plan in my head.

  “There it is,” James said some time later as Bolivar drew the car over onto the shoulder of the road. “You don’t even need the radar screen.” How right he was. The twinkling lights of the Barrier stretched out of sight in both directions. While directly ahead was the floodlit bulk of the guard station. It looked ominous and impregnable. I could see Flavia shiver and I wondered if I shouldn’t do a little shivering myself. Never! This world was mine for the taking. Zapilote was doomed. We could not flinch back from the first challenge.

  “Now hear this,” I ordered, slipping a case from under the seat. “These nose plugs will keep you awake while everyone else is being gassed to sleep. Angelina, kindly explain their use to our guide before we advance. Bolivar, close the top. James, arm the gas jets.” There was a smooth whirring as the armored steel top of the open car slid into place. I nodded approval. “We’ll do a dry run on the windows. James, you will close them when I say now!” There was an echoing thud as all of the windows slammed shut in a fraction of a second. “Good. Now switch me control of the laser cannon. Keep the recoilless cannon armed up there in case the barrier is too thick for the laser.” A control box popped out of the arm rest at my side and I touched the buttons and checked the meters. “That’s it then. Any questions?” “Just one,” James said. “When do we eat?” “After we get through. Any other questions? Possibly some of a more earth-shaking nature? Good. Then here we go.” The engine rumbled with power as we slid forward to the o,,nnlr

  Chapter 10

  Of course it was a very slow attack. The longer it took them to discover our nasty intentions the better our chances of success. So we rolled into battle with stately majesty as I broke out another bottle of champagne and labored over the cork. I was still struggling with it as we slowed and stopped before the riveted steel gate. Floodlights burned down and gun muzzles poked out of slits in the stone wall.

  “Open, I say, open!” I shouted leaning out of the window. “What do you low-born accumulations of sheep-droppings think you are doing keeping me waiting like this? Driver, sound the horn and wake these idiots up.” The horn sounded, really not a horn but a recording of a steam calliope at full blast. My ears hurt, but I waved the champagne bottle with success as the portal ground slowly upwards. We rolled forward into the fortress to stop before the second sealed gate. I tried to ignore the fact that the first one had closed behind us as I concentrated on the cork. It came out with a resounding pop and Angelina cheered and held out her glass to be refilled. Both boys extended their glasses back for filling and all of us ignored the armed soldiers who were pouring out of the guard room. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Angelina plant an elbow in Flavia’s rib to encourage her to get into the act as well. I filled her glass and returned it to her.

  “Your papers, at once,” an officer ordered, pushing through the troops who stared, goggle-eyed, at our aristocratic excesses.

  “Silence, knave, when in the company of your betters,” I shouted, sloshing champagne as I gesticulated broadly. “Open the portal, then be gone!” “Your identification, please,” he asked again, a little more humbly now in the presence of his superiors. He was at the open window, looking in, and I saw his eyes widen as he saw Flavia. Recognized! He opened his mouth to shout a com50 mand and I hurled the glassful of champagne between his gaping teeth.

  “Windows! Gas!” I ordered.

  As the windows slammed shut a flood of gas poured from the vents on the car. The officer slid out of sight and his soldiers dropped around him in silent heaps. As the last one fell I hit the switch on the laser gun.

  The ruby ray lashed out spectacularly; sparks flew in all directions. And the steel door glowed a nice red color. “Not too impressive,” Angelina said.

  “The metal is too thick. James, the cannon. Hit it at the top...” The long hood of the car split open and an ugly, gray muzzle heaved up into firing position. The exploding roar of the recoilless 105 cannon was deafening in that enclosed space. Even inside the insulated car we clutched our ears as the armor-piercing shells tore through the steel. It was like being inside a giant bell with our heads as clappers. The door ahead of us buckled and shook-then collapsed outward with gathering speed and crashed down into the roadway.

  Machine-gun bullets crashed and starred the window by my face and clattered like deadly hail off the armored roof, as more soldiers poured out of the doorway. They fired as they came-then collapsed as they walked into the pool of sleeping gas.

  “Get us out of here!” I shouted, hardly able to hear myself with the ringing in my ears. “Wait!” One of the soldiers had staggered forward, still shooting as he dropped onto the hood of the car. His sprawled body slid slowly backward and disappeared from sight. If we moved we would run him down.

  I had the door open even as I shouted, diving out, stumbling over the thick-piled slumbering troops. One of them had fallen with his arm under the car; I kicked it back. Then I had the soldier in front of the car by the boots and dragged him aside.

  As I jumped for the car I had a sudden glimpse of another soldier in a gas mask, raising a gun. It fired, and pain tore through my shoulder spinning me about, knocking me down.

  Things became a little hazy then. I tried to stand but only thrashed a bit without moving. Through a blur I saw James standing over me firing a needle gun, then dropping it and grabbing me up. Pushing me headlong into the car. Though I wanted to see what was going on my eyes were closed for some reason. The car surged forward, there were more loud explosions, we bumped and bounced horribly as we rode down the remains of the gate. After that-the bliss of unconsciousness, When I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was Angelina’s fair face. Which is a very nice thing to see at any time, but was particularly welcome at this moment. I started to talk, but started coughing instead. She held a glass of water to my lips, which I gulped at eagerly. She moved aside as she sat the glass down and I found myself looking up at the blue sky. Which was a relief. Far better than a sordid prison ceiling. The water had washed away my speech impediment and I did much better on my second try. “Mind if I ask how it went?” “Very well indeed, despite your foolish heroics.” But she was smiling as she said this and, could it be true?, was there the tiniest tear in the corner of her eye? I found that her free hand was in mine and I gave it a feeble squeeze and the smile broadene
d.

  “The resistance petered out as the gas seeped through the building. A few soldiers managed to put on gas masks, but the needle guns got them. We went through the gate and straight down the road and it is a good thing the car is armor-plated. There are some really impressive dents in the rear. Some of their cars followed us for awhile, but we left the main road and blew up a bridge and that took care of that. We haven’t heard or seen them since. After that we took to the hills and the minor roads, then found this glade and stopped for a rest. As you can see the car and tents are hidden under the trees and all is fine. Except for your arm, which has a very neat entrance wound in your biceps, a nasty exit wound in your triceps and what appears to be a nick on your humerus.” “I don’t feel a thing. “ “Nor should you, being pumped full of drugs.” I writhed a bit and she helped me sit up, plumping the pillows behind me. I was lying on one of the sleeping bags that had been spread in a row beneath the tall pine trees. The twins were sound asleep, as was Flavia. It was an incredibly peaceful scene, the only sound the boughs above being rustled by the gentle breeze. I was facing downhill across a grassy clearing, looking towards the hills and mountains beyond.

  “Have you had any sleep at all?” I asked. “Someone had to stand watch.” “That’s my job now. Get some rest.” She started to protest, but she was a good soldier. There was no reason for her to stay awake. She bent over and kissed me warmly, fussed with the water jar and medications on the folding table at my side, then retired to her own sleeping bag.

  The drugs had given me a good case of flannel mouth and I quickly drained the water jug. The silence was so absolute that I could hear birds calling far down the slope. When I stood up I felt a little wobbly, but otherwise all right. As I passed Bolivar his eyes opened and he looked up at me. I gave him the ringed thumb and forefinger gesture that means everything is fine, then touched my finger to my lips. He nodded and closed his eyes again. The car was tucked away far back under the trees. When I looked in I saw that the security alarm was activated, as was the radar. If anything bigger than a bird moved in our direction the alarm would be sounded; one of the boys undoubtedly had the repeater tucked in with him. I had a warm feeling of happiness, knowing that my mob could well take care of themselves under any circumstance.

  There was a container of water chilling in the fridge; also a number of bottles of beer. That was more like it! I struggled the top off a beaded bottle and gurgled greedily. Then clutched it by the neck as a makeshift weapon when I heard footsteps moving outside the car. Flavia appeared so I relaxed and drank a bit more.

  “You are the only person who could have brought us here,” she said. “I thank you from the bottom of my heart.” “Nothing at all. I do it twice a week sometimes. And remember, I had some skilled help.” “I must confess I thought your plan insane when Jorge told me. I never believed that you could possibly win an election against Zapilote. Now I apologize for that doubt. I not only believe that you can accomplish what you say-but I want you to do it. Do you know why?” “Sorry. Head’s still a bit thick. No good at guessing games.” She came forward, stopping no more than an arm’s length away. And she was indeed remarkably beautiful. Eyes you could drown in. Lips red and full... I sighed and drained thfi bfittif and sat hark fin the. Ufat tn cp. fn mv tim-anr-p frnm those eyes. She stood there, most serious and radiant, with her hands clasped before the fullness of her bosom.

  “I want you to succeed because you are a man of utmost honor. I believe that truly.” “I believe that I am a crook, though I thank you for the kind words. “Though the police of a hundred planets probably wouldn’t agree with you.” “I do not understand you-but I believe in you. Tell me. Why did you leave the safety of the car and risk being killed?” “Nothing else I could do. That soldier was under the wheels. He would have been killed when we drove ahead.” “But you risked everything, everyone, for that man’s life. How could one man’s life be so important?” “You’ve just said it yourself. What else is there more important than one person’s life? That is all he is ever going to have. All that any of us will ever have. One single shot at existence, with nothing before and nothing to come. What you see is what you get. That’s all there is, there ain’t no more.

  iiore.

  She shook her head. “But mv religion tells of the afterUIIVJ J11Wn 11Cil ll~jaU· UUC lily Ir;ll~jlvll rrjllJ vl LI•~. J rur~JA life...” “Good for you. I hope you enjoy the theology. I never knock another man’s beliefs, and in turn I expect to be respected for mine. Stated very simply, I face reality and admit that not only isn’t there anyone at home upstairs-there isn’t even any upstairs. I have one life and I intend to make the most of it. Therefore it follows naturally that if I firmly believe this, why then I cannot deprive another person of their turn at existence. Only the very self-assured political and religious zealots kill people in order to save them. Live and let live, I say. Help the good guys and kick out the bad.” “Well spoken. Dad,” Bolivar said, appearing behind Flavia. “Now isn’t it time you got some rest? I’ll take over the guard.” “Thanks. I’m beginning to think that’s not a bad idea at all.” He nodded agreement but was looking at Flavia instead of me, and she was returning the look with equal intensity. “Well, I think I’ll just totter off. Flavia, if you’re not sleepy, why don’t you talk to Bolivar. I’m sure he has a lot of questions to ask you about this planet.” They were nodding enthusiastically at the idea when I made my exit. I was nodding to myself as well. Feeling suddenly, well, not exactly old or past it, but definitely as though my generation was being supplanted. Must have been the depressing effect of the drugs or my little religious lecture.

  “Brace yourself, Jim, and think strong thoughts!” I muttered to myself as I dropped grateftilly back onto the sleeping bag. “You are the planetary savior and they will build statues of you.” Which wasn’t too bad a thought and I fell asleep with a smile on mv lins.

  Chapter 11

  By late afternoon all of the troops were awake and growling for food. My arm was throbbing and felt decidedly uncomfortable. I weighed the relief of dope against a clear head and settled for a clear head. Plans had to be made and a number of alternate courses were already presenting themselves for examination. I shoveled down reconstituted powdered eggs mixed with rehydrated dehydrated bacon, quickly washing the stuff out of sight with caffein condensate. And silently resolved to give more thought to the rations next time we took a trip like this. By the time the plates had been scraped clean my decisions had been made.

  “Bolivar, we go to work,” I called out magisterially. Was it with some reluctance that he tore himself away from the undisputably charming company of Flavia? Ah youth, youth! “Would you be so kind as to unlimber the large box labeled Top Secret that you will find in the rear compartment.” “Hooray! It’s about time we found out what was in there.” The others gathered around as he plumped the heavy gray container at my side. I looked at the scratches around the lock. “No patience I see. You’ve been at the lock.” “Not me,” he said. “That was James. The burns along the seam are where I worked on it. “ “And you didn’t succeed either. Not only are the contents of this container the latest invention of the great Professor Coypu and the Special Corps laboratory, but the container itself is unenterable, the lock unbreakable. But after I show it my thumprint here, punch in the correct number...” The top of the container slipped aside and they all leaned forward as I reached in and extracted a black metal box. It had a hole in the top and a switch on its side and I held it up for examination.

  “Not too impressive,” Angelina sniffed.

  “All in the eye of the beholder, my love. You will quickly 56 discover that what it can do is next to miraculous. It is a molecular extractor and restorer, or MES as the acronym builders would have it. When you see it in action you will grow weak with awe.” I rooted deep in the container and extracted a tiny object. “James, what would you say that this is?” He took it in the palm of his hand, turned it around and around as he squinted at it, then han
ded it back. “A very detailed model of a heavy mortar. “ “Right, but not exactly right. It is a full-sized mortar that has had ninety-nine percent of its molecules removed. All we must do is replace the missing molecules and it will be restored to its original condition.” “Are you sure you don’t want to rest?” Angelina asked. “You might even have a fever from that wound.” “Scoff now and repent at leisure!” I set the MES on the ground, then pulled a cable from its side, which I clipped to the miniature mortar. There was an expanding plastic funnel in the box, which I opened out then plugged into the orifice on top of the machine.

  “All that is missing is a source of raw material. Sand, stones, debris of any kind, just dump it into the funnel, boys, and keep it full. That’s it; let me know when you are ready. Good-then here we go!” I reached out and flipped the switch on its side and it began to whine petulantly. Nothing else happened. I saw the skeptical looks.

  “Patience,” I cozened. “It takes a few moments to strip the molecules down to their component particles-ahh there it goes.” It was like watching a balloon being pumped full of air, although in this case the mortar was being pumped full of steel. As the level of debris fell in the hopper the mortar began to swell, larger and larger, growing and expanding before our eyes as though we were looking at it through a three-dimensional zoom lens. Within a minute it was fullsize. A bell pinged and the whine of operation died away.

  “Any doubters now?” I asked, reaching out and rapping the barrel. It gave out the ring of pure steel.

  “This is really great. Dad,” Bolivar said, twirling the range adjustments as James squinted through the sight. “It means we can take any kind of heavy equipment with us by squeezing out all the excess mass. Sav...” “I’ll bet you’ve got a number of interesting things already in that box.” James finished the sentence for him.

 

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