The Nanny and Me

by Teresa Southwick

  When the stars behind her eyes cleared, he reached into the nightstand and pulled out a square packet containing a condom, which he used to cover himself. He kissed her again, then nudged her legs open wider as he settled between them and with exquisite gentleness entered her.

  Her breath caught as he filled her and her hips lifted to meet him. He thrust into her again and again and she found herself climbing that peak one more time. With one final push, he went still and groaned out his release as she held him as tightly as she could.

  For a moment, he rested his forehead against hers, then left the bed. Some part of her pleasure-drenched mind registered the fact that a light went on and seconds later it was off, just before he rejoined her in the bed.

  He gathered her to his side and she rested her head on his shoulder. “So—”

  “I don’t think I can move.”

  “Stay,” he whispered.

  And she did.

  Casey woke the next morning to the smell of coffee. She opened her eyes and Blake was sitting on the bed—his bed, she realized. Still groggy, she sat up and the sheet fell away, revealing her breasts. Not too sleepy to be embarrassed, she pulled it up to cover herself, although that seemed silly since he’d kissed every square inch of her when making love to her.

  Blake, on the other hand, was wearing black sweat shorts, a worn T-shirt and a sexy, self-satisfied smile that reminded her just how she’d managed to get herself in this predicament in the first place.

  Good Lord, what had she done?

  He handed her one of the steaming mugs. “Good morning.”

  “Is it?” She took a sip of coffee and realized it had cream and sweetener in it, just the way she liked it.

  “What’s wrong, Casey?”

  So many things, so little time. But she figured it could never hurt to go with the obvious. “We had sex.”

  “Indeed we did.” He didn’t look the least bit concerned.

  “We shouldn’t have had sex,” she pointed out.

  “The last time I checked, two consenting adults were free to engage in intimate activities.” One dark eyebrow rose. “I’ve been known to miss a woman’s signals, but I don’t think that’s the case here.”

  Definitely not the case here. Her body was still humming from their intimate activity. If he wasn’t her boss and she wasn’t the nanny, she’d be in favor of another round of intimacy.

  “No. I was more than willing,” she said.

  “Then I don’t see the problem.”

  If that were true, nothing she said would make him understand. All she could do was damage control. There was a robe—his robe, because this was his room—on the bed, beside her. She set her coffee down on the nightstand and shrugged into the soft terry cloth as discreetly as possible.

  “I need to take a shower.”

  “Casey, wait—”

  “No. I have to go.”

  Blake rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “We need to talk about this.”

  “There’s nothing to say, except that it can’t happen again.”

  “You think that will take care of everything? That just the words will make it all go away?”

  “I hope so,” she said. “That’s all I’ve got. It was wrong and we both need to forget about it.”

  “Easier said than done. Casey, listen—”

  “No. I have to go. Mia will be home soon.”

  He didn’t try to stop her again when she hurried out of his room and to her own. After closing the door, she tossed the soft terry-cloth robe on her bed, the one that showed no signs of being slept in last night, because it hadn’t been. She got in the shower and stood under the hot water for a long time, trying to wash away or reason through what had happened. Neither worked. She dressed, put on light makeup and fixed her hair. A last look in the mirror showed a woman who was still confused about feelings for her boss that just wouldn’t leave her alone. Peeking into Mia’s room, which was beside hers, she noticed that Frankie had been in there tossing around clothes and shoes. She’d missed her buddy last night.

  Casey had missed her, too, and not just because nothing would have happened with Blake if she’d been there.

  She was in the kitchen when the front door opened and the dog barked an enthusiastic welcome to Mia.

  “Hi, you,” Mia said. “Hello? Anyone home?”

  Casey walked into the entryway. “Hey. Nice outfit.”

  Mia glanced at her too-big T-shirt and sweatpants. Her dress was on a hanger and covered by a garment bag. “My grandmother loaned me this stuff. She made me hang up my dress and put it in that thing.”

  “Did you have fun?” Blake asked as he joined them. He’d changed into khaki shorts and a powder blue shirt. His hair was wet from the shower.

  Mia sat cross-legged on the marble tile and hugged her dog. The garment bag was on the floor beside her. “I watched a movie with them, and she made popcorn and hot chocolate and stuff. They dropped me off and said to tell you they’d call soon.”

  Casey refused to meet his gaze, because that would release a flood of guilt, something very distracting when struggling for normal was already a challenge. “Sounds very domestic.”

  “Whatever.” Mia wrinkled her nose. “What did you guys do? Must have been pretty boring without me.”

  Casey met his gaze then and guilt flooded her, just as she’d figured it would. “We, um—”

  “You’re right, kiddo,” Blake said, looking at his niece. “Boring. We just went to bed early.”

  Casey winced, even though it was the truth, because he didn’t say they went to sleep. Being a silver-tongued legal eagle was a plus in this kind of situation. Twisting the truth was what he did.

  But the explanation seemed to satisfy the girl, who barely reacted while she scratched Frankie’s head. “Have you guys had breakfast? I’m starved.”

  “Your grandmother didn’t feed you this morning?”

  “All they had was gruel. I tried to be polite and eat it,” Mia said, looking completely earnest. “But you could use that stuff to stick paper to the wall.”

  “It’s oatmeal.” Blake laughed. “And they’re watching their cholesterol levels.”

  “Whatever.” Mia’s eyes sparkled with teasing mischief. “Until they get some kid-friendly food, I’m not going back.”

  “Cut them some slack,” her uncle urged. “It was a spur-of-the-moment decision to ask you to stay. They had no reason to think you’d take them up on the offer.”

  “Good point,” she agreed.

  “Give them a list next time, and I’d be willing to bet, they’d accommodate every last whim.” He ruffled her loose hair and she jumped up and ducked away.

  “I’ll fix French toast,” Casey offered. She needed to do something, anything, so that she was too busy to think.

  “Sounds good.” Mia started down the hall toward her room, while Frankie ran ahead of her in that direction.

  “Don’t forget to hang up your dress,” Casey reminded her.

  “Oh, right.” Mia retraced her steps, bent and grabbed the dress, then was gone.

  Casey headed back to the kitchen and started gathering the utensils and ingredients for breakfast. Blake joined her and poured himself a cup of coffee, then leaned back against the counter beside where she was working and doing her best to pretend he wasn’t there.

  “It’s not a crime,” he reminded her.

  She didn’t have to ask what “it” was, but refused to comment. After breaking eggs in a bowl and stirring in milk and cinnamon, she dipped thick slices of bread into the mixture, then set them in the preheated frying pan, where there was an instant sizzle. Three plates waited on the counter next to her.

  Blake touched her arm. “The counselor says talking helps.”

  Before she could respond, there was a movement behind them, followed by the sound of Frankie’s paws clicking on the tile floor. Casey looked past Blake and her heart caught.

  Mia stood in the kitchen doorway, holding Casey’s royal
blue gown and one of the silver sandals that went with it. “Frankie found these. You forgot to hang up the dress.”

  The dog must have wandered into the master bedroom and brought them to Mia. There was no reason to think the worst. Just act normal, Casey repeated to herself. “Thanks for the reminder.”

  “You left them in Uncle Blake’s room.” Mia’s voice was filled with anger, disappointment and hurt. She glared at Casey and her uncle. “You had sex,” she accused.

  Blake set his mug down. “Look, Mia—”

  “Don’t lie to me, because I know you did,” Mia interrupted. “Before she got sick, my mom always had guys coming over. Every time there was a new one, she ignored me.”

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Mia,” he said quietly.

  “Yeah, me, too.” Her full mouth twisted bitterly as she looked at them. “And I’m sorry I’m in your way.”

  “That’s not true,” Casey protested.

  “No? So it’s just a coincidence that the first time I wasn’t here, you guys hook up? I’m not a little kid. And I’m not stupid.”

  Casey set her spatula on the counter. “Of course you’re not.”

  “My mom always said that if not for me she’d have had a life.” Mia’s words were more distressing for the void of emotion in her voice. “And I guess it runs in the family. I’m getting in your way, too, Uncle Blake.”

  “You’re not in the way,” he protested.

  “Stop lying to me,” she yelled. “I don’t believe you. And I hate you both.”

  She threw the dress and the shoe on the floor, then turned and raced from the kitchen. Moments later the door to her room slammed shut.

  It would have been quiet as a library if not for the sizzling French toast in the pan. The smell of burning drifted toward Casey and she turned off the heat.

  Blake blew out a breath. “Should I talk to her?”

  “Yes. But I doubt she’ll open the door. You might want to give her time to calm down.”

  “I could use some, too,” he admitted. “Then maybe I could come up with a closing argument, something really profound to make her understand.”

  Casey wanted to say good luck with that. How would a child make sense of it when the adults involved couldn’t?

  “Does she really hate me?” Blake looked bewildered. “I thought we were making progress. Was that my imagination?”

  “No.”

  “I thought she missed her mom,” he said.

  “She does,” Casey assured him.

  “You wouldn’t know it by what she just said.”

  “Try to see it from her perspective. Her mother repeatedly abandoned her when she was alive, and then she died, essentially abandoning her for good. She doesn’t know how to handle the conflicting emotions of loving her mother, missing her and hating that she was always last on her mom’s list.” Casey understood two out of three from firsthand experience. “Lashing out is her way of dealing with it all.”

  “I don’t know what to do with a little girl who’s grieving for her mother, and at the same time resenting the way she was raised.” Blake dragged his fingers through his hair. “Is she seriously screwed up? Maybe she wants to live somewhere else. Boarding school.”

  “The last thing she needs is to be dumped.” Casey remembered that first meeting and how Mia had expected it.

  The thing was, they had been making progress with her. Now things were back to square one. Actually they were further back than that and Casey blamed herself. It was her fault that another young life had just exploded right before her eyes. She’d failed another kid because she’d crossed a professional line with her boss.

  She couldn’t imagine how things could get worse.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next morning Casey rushed into the kitchen. “She’s gone.”

  “Mia?”

  Stupid question. Blake was looking at Casey, and his niece was the only other she in the house. His tie was hanging down the front of his gray dress shirt as he poured a quick cup of coffee before rushing to the office. He was late. Oversleeping was the price you paid when a certain sexy nanny kept you awake all night. On top of that, his niece was all screwed up and he didn’t know how to fix it. Now Casey was telling him the kid was gone?

  “I checked on her last night, before I went to sleep. I was worried because she didn’t come out of her room all day.”

  “What happened?” he asked.

  “She refused to unlock her door.” Casey’s forehead was creased with concern. “She wouldn’t let me in. I figured she needed more time to, you know—”

  Yeah. He knew. Deal with the fact that her guardian was getting it on with the nanny behind her back. He was no expert, but the way Mia had stared daggers at them yesterday, the rest of her life wouldn’t be enough time to get over what she seemed to see as a betrayal.

  He ran his fingers through hair still damp from his shower. He’d had no idea that his sister had put her own selfish needs above her own child’s until Mia had angrily blurted out the truth yesterday. Apparently the inclination to indulge selfish needs ran in the family. Wasn’t that what he’d done? In his own defense it had to be said that he was still new at this parenting thing.

  Ditto on sex with Casey. It was great, although there was no such thing as bad sex. But with her it was different, somehow not just a release for the bottled-up need in his body. There was a relief that went clear to his soul—and he’d never considered himself a soul-deep sort of guy. He liked Casey. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her again. The longing was like nothing he’d ever felt before.

  But now he had a kid. He wasn’t used to scheduling sex around kids’ sleepovers, and having to clean up evidence of the intimacy, which would push buttons he didn’t know Mia had.

  He took a sip of coffee. “Did you look everywhere?”

  “Yes, but feel free to look for yourself,” she said. “She could be hiding under the bed, although her past history would suggest she’s more of a flight risk.”

  “You think she ran away?”

  “Yes. What worries me most is she didn’t take Frankie.”

  Blake knew how much his niece loved the dog, and for some reason that worried him more. “How did she get out without Frankie letting us know?”

  “I don’t know, except Mia is good at running away.” Casey bit her top lip. “And she didn’t take her cell phone. It’s on her desk.”

  “Chances are she wouldn’t answer even if we called,” he said grimly.

  “But she’d have it if she needed help. What are we going to do?” Casey was more than worried; she was scared.

  “The last time she ran away, it was to my folks. If we’re going by recent history, that’s a good place to start.”

  “Of course.” Hope edged out the fear in her eyes. “Call them.”

  “Already on it,” he said, picking up the kitchen phone. After hitting speed dial, he waited impatiently while the phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Mother?”

  “Blake?” There was a split second of silence before she said, “What’s wrong?”

  Odd. He’d never thought his mother knew him all that well to guess from a single word that he had a problem. Clearly he’d never given her enough credit. “Is Mia there with you and Dad?”

  “I haven’t seen her since yesterday morning, when we dropped her off.” There was a mother lode of concern in the words. “If you have to ask, I assume she’s not there and you don’t know where she is.”

  “That pretty much sums it up,” he admitted.

  “What are you going to do to find my granddaughter?” she demanded.

  He had to wing it, because there was no plan. He’d hoped there didn’t have to be one. That Mia would be with his folks and finding her would be easy. And therein was his biggest problem with this whole thing. His focus had been on giving her a place to live while minimizing the inconvenience to himself. What that said about him wasn’t pretty.

 
“Look, Mother, you and Dad stay put in case she shows up there.”

  “What are you going to do?” she asked again. “Contact the police?”

  “It might be too early. But I know some people. I’ll call them and maybe some strings can be pulled. The cops can keep their eyes open. We’ll give them a description and what Mia’s wearing.”

  “Don’t let anything happen to her, Blake. That little girl has just come into our lives—” Her voice caught, which wasn’t at all like Patricia Decker.

  “I’ll get her back, Mom. Don’t worry.”

  “Like that will happen. I’m hanging up now so you can go find her.”

  He clicked off, then went to his study to look up the numbers for his Las Vegas Metro Police acquaintance. With Casey’s help he gave the guy a description of the clothes Mia was last wearing, her age, height, weight and eye color. The guy promised to pass the word to patrol officers and detectives, all unofficially, and if there was news, he’d call.

  “I can’t do nothing.” Casey paced in front of his desk. “I’m going to look for her myself.”

  “We’ll take my car,” he said. “I’ll drive.”

  She met his gaze. “I thought you had a full schedule at the office.”

  “I’m canceling my appointments today.” And tomorrow, if there was still no news.

  “But it’s awfully short notice.”

  “Stuff happens.” He yanked off his tie. “People will just have to deal with it.”

  “Are you sure it’s okay?”

  He rounded his desk and stopped in front of her. Worry and dark circles turned her hazel eyes more green. He wanted to hold her and reassure her that everything would be all right. He wasn’t sure about that, and holding her had gotten him into this mess, but he had to touch her. It was a mistake and he vowed the last one he would make, but he brushed his knuckles over the softness of her cheek.

  “It’s okay. I’m the boss.”

  “That’s the rumor.”

  After calling his assistant, they hurried to the car and raced out of the complex, even though he had no idea where to look. Actually, that wasn’t true. The mall was as good a place to start as any. They checked out Boca Park, which was the closest, without success. There were so many places a young girl could hide if she wanted. And he didn’t even want to think about the predators who zeroed in on kids out in public. Mia was young and vulnerable, and he wished she’d taken Frankie with her. He’d never forgive himself if anything happened to her.