The Nanny and Me

by Teresa Southwick

  “Like he gave me?”

  “You ran away. This restriction is about teaching you that certain behaviors are unacceptable. It’s for your own good. Shows that he cares.”

  “He doesn’t want to care about me,” Mia reminded her.

  Casey was pretty sure the girl understood what Blake had meant, but it was clear that she needed reassurance. “Not wanting to care is guyspeak for he doesn’t want to, but against his will, he got sucked in and can’t help caring.”

  Mia rolled her eyes. “I feel much better now.”

  “I’m serious. If he didn’t care about you, no way he’d have gone to every mall in town, looking for you.”

  “He did?” Mia looked surprised.

  “And you know how he feels about shopping,” Casey added for emphasis. “He certainly wouldn’t have grounded you for a week if he disliked you intensely.”

  “So you’re saying house arrest is an awesome way for me to feel the love?”

  Casey laughed. “Someday you’ll understand that if he didn’t care what happened to you, he wouldn’t bother with restrictions. He’d let you do whatever the heck you want, because that would be much easier than putting up with your pity-party prison attitude.”

  Mia’s mouth curved up, and for a split second it looked like a smile would break through the resistance. Then the crack in her facade disappeared. “Am I off suspension when he doesn’t show up?”

  “He will,” Casey assured her.

  “But if he doesn’t, is the grounding up?”

  “Yes.” Casey sighed and hoped she wasn’t wrong about him keeping his word.

  He hadn’t been faking the worry when Mia ran away. Casey had never seen him in action in a courtroom and some might say theatrics were part of pleading a case. But Blake’s concern for his niece had been genuine. Would sincerity translate to keeping his promise now that the crisis had passed? Time would tell.

  Casey looked at her wristwatch and saw that time was perilously close to running out.

  They walked the dog back into the building and rode the elevator up to the penthouse. While Mia removed Frankie’s leash and got her pet some food and water, Casey looked around in the usual places for the usual clues that Blake was home. She could have shouted, but in six thousand square feet it would have been a waste of breath. And speaking of a waste of breath, she didn’t see his briefcase, suit jacket or anything else indicating that he was here.

  “Can I have my iPod back now?” Mia asked, her resentful tone clearly indicating she’d come to the conclusion that she’d been stood up.

  “Sure,” Casey said. “But don’t give up. He might still—”

  The front door opened and Blake called out, “Sorry I’m late.”

  The dark shroud of bitterness lifted and Mia smiled. He walked into the family room and looked at Casey, then at his niece.

  “You thought I wasn’t going to make it,” he accused.

  “Never crossed my mind,” the girl answered.

  “You’re lying.” Blake grinned. “Should I be glad you’re so bad at it?”

  “Don’t answer that, Mia,” Casey advised. “It’s a rhetorical question.”

  “I don’t know what that means,” the girl said.

  “It’s an attorney trick to trip someone up.”

  One raised eyebrow and a look from Blake said he could see that a week’s worth of tension had eased. A teasing expression made his already handsome face even more appealing and Casey died a little inside.

  “So, it’s two against one,” Blake accused. “In football they call that piling on. Unsportsmanlike conduct. That’s a penalty.”

  “Not me,” Mia said. “I’m officially not grounded anymore. This is me officially staying out of trouble.”

  “That’s what I like to hear.” Blake walked over and kissed her forehead. “Give me a minute to change clothes and we’re outta here. The Deckers are going out on the town. Look out, Vegas. Here we come.”

  “Okay.” The smile Mia gave him was heartbreaking in its hopefulness, a testament to how many times she’d been disappointed. But not this time. The little girl in her positively glowed.

  When they were alone, Mia turned to her and said, “I didn’t believe he would come for me.”

  “You were wrong.”

  “I know.” She rubbed the spot on her forehead where he’d kissed her. “He really does care.”

  “I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so.”

  “I know.” She grinned a very Decker-like grin. There was definitely a family resemblance. “Casey, I’m really, really sorry I was such a brat.”

  Would wonders never cease? An apology from the princess of pout. As Blake had pointed out, the lesson was learned and there was no point in piling on. “I’ve seen worse.”

  “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” Mia caught her top lip between her teeth and worried it for a moment. “It’s just that I was afraid.”

  “I know.”

  “I couldn’t help it.”

  Casey knew that, too. “You’re just being silly. Here with your uncle is where you belong. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  “You’re right. I’m just being an idiot. There’s no reason to think that Uncle Blake loves you more, and now I’m sure that he doesn’t. He and I are actual family.”

  Casey’s mind filled in the rest. And you’re just the nanny. The hired help.

  Casey kept the carefree mask in place until the two of them left and she was alone. Suddenly her legs wouldn’t hold her and she slowly sank to the carpet in the family room, which had never seemed quite so huge and empty before.

  She felt as if she’d been slapped. Just because the slap had been delivered with words instead of an open palm didn’t make the message less powerful.

  Or hurtful.

  She knew Mia hadn’t meant to wound her, but the arrow had hit its mark with deadly accuracy. The kid was beginning to realize where she belonged and to feel secure enough to say so. Casey envied the twelve-year-old and wished it were possible for her to know what that felt like just once in her life.

  Since sleeping with Blake, she’d been caught in an alternate universe: she was neither a paid professional nor his plus one. A verbal slap was just what she’d needed to snap her out of it. Even though he’d made it clear that Mia was his priority, and rightfully so, Casey hadn’t quite been able to crush out the hope that she had a ghost of a chance with him.

  But Mia had just taken care of that. There was no future here with the Deckers, and the sooner she left, the better off everyone would be.

  Blake tried to focus attention on his computer screen, without much success. Something was bugging him and he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. He leaned back in his chair and glanced at the picture of Mia on his desk. It had been taken a few days ago, on her first day of school—middle school. Before long she’d be in high school, then college. Then what?

  Oddly enough he didn’t much like the idea of her being somewhere where he couldn’t make sure she was okay. That day of worrying about her out in the world alone, of picturing all the bad things that could happen, had made him want to put off her independence as long as possible. The day was coming when she’d push for it, but that wasn’t today.

  The door to his office opened and Rita poked her head in. His administrative assistant was an attractive woman in her mid-forties with brown eyes and shoulder-length black hair cut in layers.

  She put a stack of papers on the desk in front of him. “I’ve got correspondence ready for your signature.”

  “Thanks, Ree.”

  “Cute kid,” she said, looking at the photo.

  “My niece. Mia.”

  “I see the family resemblance. There’s something stubborn about the tilt to her chin, the determination in the eyes.” She put the frame down. “A word of warning?”

  “Shoot.”

  “Exactly.” She nodded emphatically. “When boys start showing an interest, make sure
they know you have guns and know how to use them.”

  “I’d be lying.”

  “Bluff. You’re good at that. They’ll never know for sure and will be inclined to keep their distance from that sweet little girl.”

  “Okay. I’ll take that under advisement.”

  After his assistant left, his gaze wandered to the photo and he straightened it on his desk. A sweet little girl. He remembered the first few weeks she’d lived with him and the attitude she’d worn like armor. He hadn’t known how to strip it away. If not for Casey…

  He was pretty sure these last couple of months of adjusting to having a kid around would have been impossible without Casey. Too many times recently he’d had the uncomfortable feeling that life would be impossible without her. The tight feeling in his chest made him frown, because just thinking about her made him want to hold her. It seemed like a lifetime ago when he’d made love to her.

  Except he knew his thing for Casey wasn’t just about sex. That was pretty awesome. But even that word didn’t do justice to the experience of holding her soft curves against him, kissing her sweet lips, loving her until he thought the top of his head would explode.

  Bad analogy, he thought, remembering the scars on her body from the explosion, for which she blamed herself. He had a feeling that the wounds she carried on the inside were far worse than the ones he could see. He’d read about it: PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder.

  Casey Thomas was a complicated woman and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. The intense feelings shook him up. They were deeper and more compelling than what he’d felt for the woman he’d married, the same one who’d betrayed and blindsided him. He’d never expected the bad stuff, and now he couldn’t picture himself expecting anything else. A shrink would probably tell him what he already knew—he had his own emotional brand of PTSD going on.

  He needed breathing room. He needed—

  The intercom buzzed and he pushed the button. “What is it, Ree?”

  “Casey Thomas is here to see you, Mr. Decker. She says she’s your nanny.”

  His heart thumped once and he took a deep breath before answering. “Send her in.”

  Moments later there was a soft knock on his door before it opened and she was there. “Hi.”

  Her smile released the full power of her dimples, which, he’d found out for himself, were her secret weapon. When they flashed, mass destruction followed, because men would fall at her feet. At least he had. The memory was like a blast of heat that went from brain to gut to groin—the trifecta of turn-on.

  “Hey. Come in.” It was a major effort to keep his voice normal, and he wasn’t sure he’d pulled it off when she looked uneasy.

  That made two of them, he thought, noting the way her white cotton sundress pulled across her breasts. All the skin he could see was tanned and toned, and the toes peeking out of her flip-flops were painted pink. She moved farther into the room, and he held out his hand, indicating the two club chairs in front of his desk. She sat in the one on the right and set her purse in her lap.

  He shifted in his chair and sat up straighter, grateful that his desk was between them. That made him realize something else. This was the first time she’d come to see him at the office.

  “Is everything all right?” he asked. “Mia?”

  “Fine. I just dropped her off at school.”

  “How’s that going?” He was grateful for a topic to take his mind off the disturbing thoughts of him, her, twisted sheets and tangled legs.

  “It’s the first week, but so far so good.”

  “By good, do you mean that there have been no phone calls from teachers or the administration?”

  “There’s that. But I mean she’s talking about kids and classes and activities.” Casey smiled and the dimples danced.

  His gut knotted at the sight, and he wondered if there was a topic of discussion known to man that wouldn’t make him think about having her in his bed.

  “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

  She frowned. “Are you okay?”

  Not really. This was nice. Too nice. Distracting, but nice. That meant there were fewer hours until it would be time to go home, where Casey would be waiting for him.

  No. Scratch that. She’ll be there supervising Mia. Doing her job. That’s all. He needed breathing room.

  “I’m fine.” Mostly. “Happy to hear that Mia is settling into school.”

  “Yeah. She likes the teachers. By the way, she wants to go to the new restaurant at Encore when you have your next Deckers’ night out.”

  He laughed, which was hard to believe. “She’s been a different kid since I grounded her.”

  Shadows filled her eyes for a moment, before she said, “The transformation has more to do with you showing up for dinner and a movie than with punishment for bad behavior. Setting the parameters and sticking to them are the cornerstones of positive parenting.”

  “I enjoy spending time with her,” he said, surprised he hadn’t actually thought in those terms until this moment. “She’s fun, funny, smart. She’s really a great kid when she’s not acting bitter and resentful.”

  “You pretty much described every kid in the world,” Casey pointed out.

  “Yeah.” He leaned back in his chair. “But in Mia’s case it feels like a miracle when I think about how she was at first. She’s great to have around and that’s something I never thought I’d say.”

  “You should tell her that.”

  “Good idea. Which reminds me that I have you to thank for the sheer normalness of her behavior.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Not from my perspective,” he said. “Your work with Mia has been exemplary. And to show my gratitude, there will be a bonus in your paycheck.”

  He was looking straight at her and would swear her face didn’t alter, but suddenly it dimmed, as if clouds had blocked out the sun. And since when did he analyze the facial expressions of his employees? Since things took a personal turn, and that was as good an example as any of why he needed to put things back on a firmly professional footing.

  “So, what brings you here? I’m guessing it’s not about updating me on Mia’s first week of school.”

  “No.” She gripped her purse tightly. “I’m handing in my resignation.”

  That wasn’t what he’d expected. “You’re quitting?”

  “This is my two weeks’ notice.”

  “I don’t understand,” he said.

  “It’s my intention not to work for you any longer and I’m notifying you of that.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I get what resignation means. It’s just that I thought taking care of Mia agreed with you.”

  “As you said, she’s a great kid. I stopped by your office because this isn’t something I wanted her to overhear.”

  His first thought had been about himself, about how much he’d miss her. But Casey was worried about how Mia would react. No one liked change, but a kid who’d been through what she had would take it especially hard.

  “She’s doing so well. I’d like to see her continue with the forward progress. All those rough edges she had when she first came to live with me have been smoothed out.”

  “I’m glad. But this is about me. I’ve got rough edges, too, and they’re not smoothing out.”

  Her eyes said she was dead serious and told him change was in his future. Mia wasn’t the only one who didn’t like change. “Why, Casey? You’re part of the family.”

  “How exactly?”

  “What?”

  “How am I part of your family?”

  Blake thought about the question. “You take care of Mia.”

  “Last time I checked, child caregiver wasn’t an official limb on the family tree.”

  “It’s the only answer I have,” he said.

  “Not the one I was hoping for.” Her voice was soft and sad. Her smile was sadder and even the flash of dimples didn’t restore the sparkle.

  Blake realized that this was what ha
d been bugging him, keeping him from concentrating on work. Casey hadn’t been acting like herself for about a week, since just about the time Mia got off restriction. Just about the time things with his niece had clicked into place. Personally? He hated the idea of Casey not being there, but that wasn’t something he wanted to think about now.

  “Is it about money? I’ll give you a raise—”

  “No. I have nothing more to say.” She stood and slid the strap of her purse on her shoulder.

  He stood, too, but didn’t dare walk around the desk, because he would have pulled her into his arms. “Casey, wait—”

  “It’s no use, Blake. There’s nothing you can say that will change my mind.”

  “Why are you so determined?”

  “You know why.” She sighed. “What happened between you and me was an error in judgment.”

  An understatement, and yet he couldn’t regret what had happened. “It’s in the past. We can—”

  “No. It’s not possible to forget. With me there Mia has to try too hard. That will make it much more difficult for the two of you to form a family unit.” She met his gaze and determination filled her own. “My bad judgment tore apart the family of my best friend. If I can heal yours, maybe that will make up for it in some small way.”

  He didn’t say anything else to try and stop her. Partly because the knot forming in his chest was cutting off his air, and partly because there was nothing left to say. If he told her he had feelings for her, she wouldn’t believe him. Trust was a problem, and she’d think he was using her, like she’d been used once before.

  The feelings of anger and loss raging through him were a lot like what had happened when he’d found out his wife was cheating on him. But Casey hadn’t betrayed him. She was straightforward, honest and had more integrity than anyone he’d ever met. Case in point: she’d come to his place of business and told him to his face that she was leaving his employ. And why.

  Somehow that just made him feel worse.

  Chapter Fourteen

  As it turned out, Casey didn’t stay for two weeks. Since Mia had started school, she only needed someone at home until Blake returned from work. With that parameter Ginger Davis had easily found a replacement.