Yellowstone Dawn (Yellowstone Romance Series Book 4)

by Peggy L Henderson

  “No,” Danica sniggered. She dragged pieces of meat around her plate with her fork, and let her mind wander back to the day that had set the events in motion that had changed her life forever.

  ”Maddie was unconscious when those warriors took us back to their camp. She’d become so hysterical with fear, one of them hit her, and she passed out. I went with them willingly so I could stay with her.”

  Josh’s features softened, and a hint of that same look of admiration as before entered his eyes.

  “There was a lot of arguing at the Indian camp. The rest of the tribe was obviously not happy that the raiders had brought captives along.”

  Josh nodded. “The Nez Perce are a peaceful people. The anger of some of the younger warriors was a result of the government making promises to them they didn’t keep.”

  “When Maddie regained consciousness, she refused to believe we would not be harmed. Watching her family try and fight off the raiders . . . it was too much for her.” Danica shuddered at the memory. Maddie had always been a bit weak-minded and fragile. “I couldn’t get her to think rationally. The camp was set up near a steep cliff. She bolted, and . . . and threw herself over. I couldn’t stop her.” Danica covered her face with her hands, and sobbed quietly.

  Josh’s warm hand folded over one of hers, and he pulled it away from her face. With Dawn cradled safely in the crook of his left arm, sleeping contently, he sat next to Danica, holding her hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze.

  Danica sniffed. “Over the next several days, the tribe was on the move. I thought about trying to run, but we were out in the middle of nowhere. For the time being, I felt safer among other people than trying to find my way out of the wilderness on my own. A few of the Indians spoke English, and they assured me I would be released soon. They all acted very friendly, so I believed them.”

  “How long were you with them?” Josh asked.

  “At least a week,” Danica shrugged. “One afternoon, I was told a cavalry patrol was close by, and that I was free to go.” Josh’s grip on her hand tightened. She held his dark gaze. “It was the worst decision of my life, to think I would be safest amongst my own people,” she hissed.

  Josh tensed. Anger filled his eyes, and his mouth was drawn in a tight line. The muscles along his jaw clenched. “A cavalry soldier . . . violated you?” His words were harsh and clipped.

  Danica nodded solemnly, and stared at the knots in the aged wood of the table. She didn’t want to think about what followed after she left the Indian camp. She’d all but buried the memories, but she owed Josh the truth.

  The troop of seven soldiers had seemed rather surprised to see a white woman emerge from the woods. They had taken her into their midst, and asked the obvious questions. Apparently, they had been tracking the Indians she’d been with, and were sent ahead by their commanding officer.

  The lieutenant in charge of the detail had looked at her with keen interest from the moment she’d walked into their camp. Danica was used to turning men’s heads. She’d had her share of suitors over the years, some more determined than others, but none had ever sparked a serious interest from her. If she had to, she probably couldn’t recall most of them now. Lieutenant Jonathan Douglas was one man’s face she would never forget.

  A woman couldn’t very well go on patrol with them while they followed the Nez Perce. The men had conversed in hushed tones, and decided that Lieutenant Douglas would return her to Virginia City while the rest of the patrol carried out their orders. Danica hadn’t been too happy about their decision to send her off with only him, but what choice did she have? She was in the middle of the wilderness, and had no idea how to get back to civilization.

  “Don’t you worry none, Miss Jensen. I’ll have you back home in no time. It’s my pleasure to escort a lovely lady such as yourself out of these God forsaken mountains.”

  Danica paused in her tale. Josh hadn’t taken his eyes off her. She gazed at her daughter. The baby slept peacefully nestled in the crook of his arm. Dawn wouldn’t be here now if not for all that has happened. Now that her baby was born, would she have altered the past if she could? Danica couldn’t answer the question in her mind.

  “Needless to say, he never took me to Virginia City.” Danica’s voice cracked. “He was nice enough when we camped in the open the first night. By the next day, I knew we were heading in the wrong direction. He kept telling me I was mistaken. By evening, we came upon an old trapper’s cabin. Strangely, he seemed to be familiar with it.”

  Danica pulled her hand from underneath Josh’s, and stood. She wrapped her arms around her middle and stared into the fire.

  “That night . . . was the first time –”

  Josh’s hand on her shoulder stopped her from saying more. She wheeled around to face him, her vision blurred. “He kept me tied up for days. The first chance I got, after . . . he carelessly left his gun within reach one morning. I shot him and ran.”

  Dawn stirred in Josh’s arms, and her soft cries quickly turned into loud wails. Danica sniffed, glad for the interruption. She reached for her daughter.

  “Let me take her.”

  Josh wordlessly handed the baby to her, and Danica hurried for her bedroom.

  ****

  Josh stared after her. He wanted to lash out and hit something, or someone. Rage such as he’d never experienced consumed him. If Dani hadn’t killed her attacker, the urge to head out this very moment and go after the man himself consumed him like a wildfire burning out of control. He ran his hand through his hair, listening to the baby’s cries, which drowned out Dani’s soft voice. Moments later, the crying ceased. The vision of Dani on the bed, with her child at her breast entered his mind, and his tense muscles relaxed. He’d walked in on her earlier, and the scene roused feelings such as he’d never experienced. A strong need to protect mother and child had taken hold in him, along with an emotion more powerful than anything he’d felt before. Josh refused to give it a name.

  “Dani, I have things to tend to in the barn,” he called out to her.

  “Okay,” she answered.

  Josh’s lips curved in a slight smile. He grabbed his buffalo robe, and headed out into the frigid morning air. He needed to keep his mind and hands busy. He walked briskly through the snow, following the path he’d created earlier. The soft nickers of horses greeted him when he entered the barn. After tossing more hay to the animals, he picked up the large block of wood he’d begun working on. Little had he known yesterday that he would have need for the finished product so soon.

  As Josh worked the wood with his ax, his mind drifted to the events of the night before. He had gone against every deep-seated Shoshone tradition when it came to family duties. Although he’d been raised mainly in the white man’s world, his father had always encouraged him to learn about his Shoshone roots. Growing up, he’d spent many months with his mother’s relatives each year, learning their customs and traditions.

  He shook his head. Birthing babies was left to midwives. Husbands were never allowed near their wives or newborns. A husband would celebrate the birth of his child by giving gifts to the other members of the clan, mostly in the form of food. But it was unheard of that a man was in the village, let alone present, at the birth of his child.

  Danica was a remarkable woman. The things she had endured would drive many women to take their lives, or withdraw into their own minds forever. She seemed to have grown stronger from it. Her courage to carry a child created from the worst act of violence against a woman, and her struggles to bring this new life into the world left him with a sense of awe and wonder.

  Josh’s mind wandered into uncharted territory. He suddenly saw himself as a husband to Dani, and a father to her little daughter. Would Dani accept him as her husband? How would she feel about a permanent marriage to a half-breed? They had been forced together by her deranged father, and she seemed eager to get the marriage annulled.

  He had assumed, and admittedly even hoped, that the baby was of mixed blood. Then it
would have been easier suggesting to Dani that she should remain married to him. With a white child, she could simply claim she was widowed. No one would need to know any different.

  Josh shook his head and scoffed. That baby looked nothing like him. Everyone would know he couldn’t possibly be her father. You’re the one who helped her mother give birth. You’re the first person who held her when she was born. You may as well be her father.

  A sudden wave of possessiveness took hold in him. Dawn’s true father was dead. She wouldn’t have to be labeled a bastard child. She would have Josh’s last name. Dare he suggest to Dani that they should remain married, for the baby’s sake? Could Dani endure the stigma of a white woman married to a half-breed? Would she even want to? Josh laughed out loud. If anyone had suggested to him, as early as several weeks ago, that he would want to be married to a white woman and be a father to her white baby, he would have declared the person mentally incompetent.

  Josh set his work aside and stretched. Several hours had passed, and he was making good progress on the crib he intended to present to Dani later today. He stood from his seat on an overturned water bucket, and headed for the barn door. Suddenly, he couldn’t get back to the cabin fast enough. He hadn’t seen Dani or the baby all morning. Josh realized what it all meant, but he wasn’t ready to fully give in to his feelings. Not until he talked to Dani, and gauge her thoughts on making their marriage permanent.

  The moment he stepped out of the barn, Dawn’s faint cries from inside the cabin reached his ears. He lengthened his strides. The baby’s continued wails disturbed him, and the sounds intensified as he approached the cabin. He threw the door open. Dani paced the floor in front of the hearth, rocking Dawn in her arms. Dani’s head shot up when he walked in, a frantic look on her tear-soaked face. The dark circles under her blood-shot eyes stood out against her creamy white skin.

  “She won’t stop crying,” Dani sobbed, desperation in her voice. “She won’t nurse. I’ve changed her soiled linens. She just keeps crying.”

  Josh pulled his buffalo robe off, and rubbed his cold hands together to warm them. Silently, he reached for the baby. Her hands trembling, Dani handed the infant over willingly. He cradled the flailing bundle in his arm, holding her close to his chest. A deep sense of warmth and peace enveloped him, even amidst the ear shattering high-pitched screams of the baby. How could something so little make so much noise?

  “What’s wrong with her, Josh?” Dani stood by his side, one hand at her mouth, biting at her nails.

  Josh gently rocked the baby, whispering soothing words of love and encouragement to her in his mother’s tongue. He adjusted the bundle to his other arm to relieve the dull ache in his healing shoulder. Dawn’s little body quivered, and then her cries grew softer, until they stopped altogether. She emitted soft baby noises as her features relaxed. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep, her tiny hands curled into little fists on her chest.

  Josh raised his head from watching the precious infant in his arms. His eyes met Dani’s. Utter despair and disbelief was written all over her face. Quickly, she turned away from him, her shoulders slumped as she buried her face in her hands.

  “I’m a complete failure as a mother,” she moaned. Her back trembled and she hung her head. Josh put a hand on her sagging shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

  ‘These things take time,” he said quietly, for lack of something better to say.

  Dani turned to him and scoffed. “It seems to come natural to you, and . . . and you’re not even her father.” She pulled away from him and dashed past him into her bedroom. Josh inhaled a deep breath, and followed her. She couldn’t fall apart now, not after everything she’d already dealt with.

  He gently placed the sleeping baby in the center of Dani’s bed, then walked up behind the woman standing with her back to him, looking out the window.

  “Dani,” he said quietly, and put his hands on her shoulders. She stiffened for a moment, then turned and fell against his chest, her body shaking. She buried her head in his shirt, and cried uncontrollably.

  Josh wrapped his arms around her, and held her tight. He wanted to take away her fear, her hurt, and all the evil that had been done to her.

  “Shhhh,” he whispered in her hair. “You’re worn out, Dani. You haven’t had sleep. I can feel how tense you are. I think Dawn senses it too. That’s why she cries.”

  Her face lifted away from his chest, and she looked up at him. “I don’t know what to do, Josh. I thought I could take care of her on my own. I don’t know where I’m going to go once we get to Helena.”

  Josh’s jaw clenched. “We’ll talk about that later. Right now, I think you need to get some rest while Dawn is sleeping. Let me make you some tea, and then you can sleep.”

  She stared up at him in silence, then slowly nodded her head. Josh called on all his willpower to keep from kissing her. His heart nearly burst at the warm sensations flooding his veins. Holding Dani seemed so natural, so right. He stepped away from her, and glanced at the baby sleeping contently on the bed. With his hand on Dani’s lower back, he led her into main room, urging her into the rocking chair in the corner.

  Josh rummaged along the shelves over the workbench, searching for the tin that contained some herbs and nettles for tea. When he found what he was looking for, he sprinkled some in a cup, and added hot water from the coffee pot in the fireplace.

  “This tea will only take a minute,” he said, and turned to the woman he left sitting in the rocking chair. His lips curved upward. Dani’s head was slumped to the side, her cheek resting on her shoulder. Her eyes were closed, and she breathed evenly.

  Josh gently gathered her up in his arms, and hesitated. He looked toward her room, but the baby was sleeping in the middle of her bed. He turned and headed for his own room, and elbowed the door open. Dani’s arms slowly reaching up around his neck. She sighed in her sleep, a soft smile on her lips.

  “I love you, Josh,” she murmured, and nestled her head against his chest. His grip on her tightened, or else he might have dropped her. He laid her gently on his bed, and covered her with a blanket. Leaning over her, he wiped some hair away from her face, and lightly brushed his lips against hers. Pulling back, he watched her face, now relaxed in sleep, and his chest tightened almost painfully. Slowly, he turned and left the room.

  Chapter 16

  Danica stretched her arms and legs, and a soft moan escaped her throat. Somewhere in the foggy chasm between sleep and consciousness, Josh’s masculine scent mixed with leather and wood smoke permeated her senses. A slow smile spread across her face. Her dreams of him seemed to be getting more vivid and real. Lying on her side, she slid her hand upwards along soft fur. Her arm grazed her breast, and she winced. In the distance, a baby’s cries jolted her fully awake.

  Reality came flooding back. Dawn! Danica sat up, glancing quickly at her surroundings. This was not the bedroom she’d occupied since coming to Josh’s cabin. Harness leather and a couple of saddles were piled in one corner. Several shirts and leather britches hung haphazardly over the lone chair in the opposite corner. A bare chest of drawers leaned against the wall across from the bed. Several bows, an old flintlock rifle, and a belt with a knife and tomahawk hung on the wall over the dresser.

  Danica’s heart slammed in her chest. What was she doing sleeping in his room, in his bed? Quickly, she pulled her tired and sore legs from under the covers, and over the mattress. No sooner had she stood, when the door to the room opened and Josh entered with a screaming bundle in his arm. Their eyes met across the room, and Danica rushed to his side.

  “I tried to let you sleep as long as I could, but feeding her is something I can’t do,” Josh said, placing the infant into Danica’s arms.

  “Tha . . . thank you,” she stammered. Her sleep-deprived mind was still trying to recall certain details of events that led to her presence in this room. Josh’s dark unreadable eyes stared at her intently. His brows were drawn together as if he was contemplating something. Never
one for loss of words before, she held her wailing daughter to her chest, and quickly scrambled past Josh to get to her own room to relieve the baby’s hunger.

  Once settled on her bed with Dawn nursing contently, Danica had time to think. She remembered her feeling of helplessness and frustration earlier when Dawn wouldn’t stop crying. The more the baby carried on, the more tense and distraught Danica had become. Josh had come to her rescue again, and Dawn had responded to him.

  She inhaled deeply. Fresh tears threatened to spill from her eyes. God, Dani. You’ve never been one to cry all the time like so many of your friends. Growing up in her father’s house had taught her that crying and carrying on like a silly female was not tolerated. Josh was right. The baby’s fussiness earlier was surely due to her mother’s tension and nervousness.

  Remembering Josh’s arms around her, the way he had comforted her after Dawn fell asleep, brought an ache to her heart. The reason she’d survived these recent months, and even while growing up in Virginia City with a father who ignored her for the most part, was because she knew how to take care of herself. She had no one to lean on, and relied on her own wit and instincts.

  Why did she feel like such a helpless, blundering fool now? Gazing down at the delicate little baby face nestled up against her breast, she felt the weight of the world descend on her. She was no longer responsible for just herself. She had her baby to think about. How would she manage on her own? Josh had taken care of her – of everything – since leaving Virginia City. For the first time in her life, another person saw to her needs and comfort, gave her a shoulder to lean on, and held her up when she stumbled. How ironic that it was the very same person she’d loved and fantasized over for so long. And he didn’t even know. She couldn’t allow herself to get too used to Josh’s help. She had to manage taking care of her daughter on her own. Soon enough, Josh would part ways with her in Helena.