Unbreak My Heart (Childhood Sweethearts Reunited)

by Helen Scott Taylor

  At the wonder on his face, her initial embarrassment as he watched her breast-feed melted away. Not for the first time, she wished Keiko was his daughter.

  She swapped Keiko to her other breast and Andre smiled, his fingers gently caressing her arm as she settled her baby again. "When you arrived and bared your breasts to feed Keiko in my office, you floored me."

  "Why?"

  His lips quirked in a wry smile. "I'm not going to answer that question on the grounds I might incriminate myself."

  "Tell me. I won't mind."

  "Hmm. I doubt it's politically correct to lust after a mum feeding her baby."

  She glanced at him in surprise. She'd been under the impression he was irritated with her when she first arrived. After Keiko drifted off to sleep, Andre lifted her from the pillow on Kate's lap and carried her to the crib. "Bedtime for you little one," he said, kissed her, and tucked her in. Kate rose and went to stand beside him. A flutter of deeper longings briefly eclipsed her physical needs. This was how it would be if they were a real family.

  Andre caressed her cheek. "Bedtime for you, as well."

  "I'll follow you in a moment." His eyebrows rose but he took the hint and headed for the door. As soon as he'd gone, Kate opened the drawer where she'd stashed the new lingerie.

  He was waiting outside her door when she opened it. He put his arm around her waist and they walked across the hall to his bedroom together. It felt right and natural to be with him like this.

  "Leave the door ajar so I can hear if Keiko wakes," she said.

  Andre led her toward his bed. She stared into the dreamy depths of his eyes. Her stomach quivered, muscles jumped with nervous excitement.

  "You've no idea how long I've waited for this," he whispered, his voice low, intense, stroking through her, touching deeply buried memories.

  Kate lowered her eyelashes. She knew. She'd waited as well. Her heart beat in every cell of her body as he pulled her closer. "Are you naked underneath here?" Andre slid a thumb inside the front of her robe, caressed the skin beneath her breast.

  Kate sucked in a ragged breath. "Not quite."

  When he eased her robe open, he made a small sound of pleasure that danced over her skin like static. Slowly, he traced a fingertip along the waistband of her green silk panties. "How did you know I've been fantasizing about you wearing these?"

  He pushed the robe off her shoulders and it tumbled at her feet. His gaze scorched her from head to toe. With gentle strokes he smoothed his hands over her ribs, across her belly. "I can't imagine what you looked like when you were pregnant. Your stomach is so flat now."

  "A few months ago I looked as though I'd swallowed a beach ball."

  "Oh, Kat." He pulled her against his body, his hands caressing her back in strong possessive circles. "I wish I'd seen you pregnant. I should have…"

  She clung to him and he pressed his face to her neck, his lips trailing kisses over her shoulder and collarbone. "I have so many regrets about the past."

  Kate didn't want to think about the past or the future. She wanted to enjoy the now. "Andre," she breathed. She unfastened the tie on his robe and pushed the fabric aside, touched her lips to his chest, tasted the silk of his skin while his heart beat firmly beneath her mouth.

  He moved her toward his bed. As she lay on the mattress, he came down beside her, his lips and hands against her skin sending tantalizing streaks of pleasure racing through her body.

  She smoothed his hair, felt the slight rasp of stubble as her fingertips ran across his jaw. His body was hot, so solid and masculine. Her fingers pushed at his robe and he eased back and shucked it off, leaving him naked.

  Sprawled half across her, his erection pressed hard and hot against her thigh as his lips played along the top of her bra. Cupping her breast, he suckled the nipple through the silky fabric, making her back arch off the bed.

  Dan had been her only lover, but being with him had never felt like this, a sensory feast where every touch, every taste made her hungrier, and the promise of satiation was so intense she ached.

  She loved Andre with every fiber of her being. The feeling had been delicately traced, an outline on the canvas of her mind. Now her love shone bright with vibrant colors, so powerful and compelling she longed to tell him. But fear held her back. Fear he did not feel the same way.

  He unfastened her bra and gently kissed her breasts. Then she lost her panties as well and they writhed together, skin against skin, mindless with sensation as hands roamed and teased, lips tasted and tormented. "Are you ready, sweetheart?" he whispered.

  Kate was way past ready. Her reply rushed out, little more than a needy murmur. She heard a tear of foil as Andre protected himself, then he moved over her. She wrapped her legs around him and held on.

  The way he filled her made her groan and he stilled. "Tell me if it hurts, love," he said softly.

  "Please." She ran her hands over his back and pulled him closer. "Don't stop." Then he started moving and the sensation drowned all thought. Colors sparked and flowed behind her eyelids. In a blissful trance, she opened her eyes a fraction and gazed at his beloved face. How many times had she imagined this moment, longed for the connection with him?

  Time passed in the beats of their breath. Andre whispered soft words of love against her ear. Kate turned her face and breathed in the scent of his hair. Deep, rich patterns of gold and red swirled in her mind and exploded, a psychedelic kaleidoscope of color as pleasure cascaded through her body, dancing along her arms and legs. A moment later Andre followed her, his eyes squeezed tight, then he pressed his face to the pillow and groaned.

  Shattered by the sensations, she gasped for breath and laughed. Nothing she had experienced with Dan had prepared her for this. She stroked Andre's hair; he raised his head and moved to lie on his side facing her.

  Raising her hand to his mouth, he kissed her fingers. "All right, sweetheart?"

  She smiled lazily. "Perfect." She traced his jaw and touched his lips. He was perfect. Words of love burned sweetly in her throat, seeking release.

  He caught her hand and held it against his chest. "Are you sleepy, Kat?"

  "Maybe. It depends what you have in mind."

  Andre smiled and leaned in to nip her bottom lip. "Can't you guess?"

  "I thought we'd just done that."

  "I want to do it again." He tickled her and she giggled as they tussled. Joy filled her, a pure happiness she hadn't experienced since she was a child. Being with Andre did that to her. She thought she'd lost this feeling forever but a few weeks with him and it all came back.

  If she wanted him, she had to take a chance and reveal her heart."I love you, Andre. I never stopped loving you."

  He stilled, the only sound in the silent room his breath. Doubt clenched her gut. Had she made a mistake? "Didn't you love Dan?" he said after what felt like an eternity.

  Kate swallowed back the lump of uncertainty threatening to choke her. "Of course. But that's over, and it was different from how I feel about you."

  He gathered her to his chest again and she curled into his body. "I love you, too," he whispered against her ear, and suddenly all the tension threatening to choke her dissolved. "I was worried you'd never forgive me for letting you down when I went away to school."

  Cupping his cheek in her palm, she kissed him. "That was years ago. We were kids."

  "Oh, Kate." He hugged her so tightly, for a few seconds she couldn't draw breath. "Now you have no reason to stay, I thought I'd lose you again."

  "I do have a reason to stay. You."

  He pressed his lips to hers again, the sweet kiss soon becoming hungry and demanding. Could it be this simple? Could all her dreams be about to come true? Everything was perfect, except for one tiny niggle of worry that rose to mar her happiness. "You don't really mind what I wear, do you?"

  "No. As long as you keep some skimpy lingerie for bedtime."

  She playfully punched his shoulder and he grinned.

  "So the image chang
e thing isn't important now we've finished work on the Caspian and the Liz Delacroix threat is over."

  Tiny lines gathered between Andre's brows for a moment. "I'd love to make the engagement real, Kat. I want you to marry me." A flash of pure joy lit through her like lightning. "As my wife, you will have to keep up appearances. But only when we're out."

  A hand rested on his chest, she let his comment sink in. So she would have to keep the sleek hair and the fashionable clothes and do social functions like the Delacroix's party. "Okay," she said tentatively. She could do that as long as she had Andre by her side. He was more important to her than what she wore. But her joy faded slightly at the thought. He loved her, he said, but was his love conditional on her playing her role?

  "Andre, what would happen if I just want to be myself and go back to how I was when I arrived? Will you still want to make the engagement real?"

  The pause before he nodded stretched a moment too long.

  "You don't seem absolutely certain."

  "I love you, Kat. I've always loved you. But I want you to share my life. The only way that'll work is if you jump into my world. I still think you should develop your freelance design business. You enjoy it. I want you to have a satisfying career doing what you love. And the business community respects success."

  Kate rolled onto her back and stared up at the shadowy ceiling. Her heart beat a hollow tattoo in her chest. It was not a pleasant feeling. "Can't I just be your wife and mother to Keiko?"

  "What about your creative talent?"

  "I can paint in my spare time."

  Andre's breath rushed out as he too rolled onto his back. Suddenly Kate felt cold and frightened. "I think marriage should be a partnership. Don't you want that with me?" He glanced her way. "Remember I mentioned I want to run for chair of the Hoteliers Association when Edmund retires. I'd like you by my side, supporting me. We'll need to network a lot before the vote. I know you feel it doesn't come naturally to you, love, but you're great with people when you make the effort. You just need to put the past behind you. You're already halfway there, Kate." He gripped her hand under the covers.

  They were back to the reason he had left her behind all those years ago, she realized. He'd felt she was a responsibility, a burden. He didn't want a wife like that. He wanted a woman who would stand on her own feet, a woman who would support him, be an asset. And she couldn't blame him. "This is what the image change and all the encouragement to be responsible and independent has been leading up to, isn't it?"

  "It might be."

  So all along he'd planned to ask her to stay. That should make her happy. Instead it left her with a sense of unease. It sounded as though he loved her and wanted to marry her, but only if she changed into the woman he needed to fit in with his plans.

  ***

  The following morning Andre had gone when Kate woke in his bed, surrounded by the memories of the past. She lay for a few minutes staring at the photograph of the two of them together the day before he left for boarding school. He'd been adamant he loved her back then as well, even given her the tiger's eye ring. But that hadn't stopped him from changing his mind and leaving her behind.

  She sighed, climbed out of bed, and pulled on her bathrobe. She paused in front of Andre's mirror and examined her rumpled appearance. Her hair was a mess right now, but she'd grown used to the smooth straight cut and liked it. She didn't mind making certain changes for Andre; after all, every relationship required compromise.

  But what would happen when she grew weary of putting on a false front? Would Andre resent her for wanting to simply be a wife and mum and stay at home with the kids?

  Last night in his arms she had thought she would do anything to stay with him, to share the connection they'd rediscovered. But in the cold light of day her doubts returned. Sometimes love wasn't enough. Andre had seared that lesson into her teenaged heart. She pressed a hand to the sick emptiness in her middle. She hurt terribly to know Andre didn't want her as she was. A thought crept into her mind that chilled her; the way Andre judged her reminded Kate of Robert Le Court.

  She crossed to her room to start the morning routine with Keiko. After Kate had fed and changed her baby, she dressed in one of her old comfortable sundresses, put Keiko in her baby carrier and headed along a footpath toward the beach. She needed to be on her own so she could think.

  The path emerged from the trees to follow the hotel drive for a hundred yards before cutting into the woods on the other side. She slipped on her sunglasses and waited for a taxi to pass before she crossed. When the car reached her, it stopped. Jerry Markham leaned through the open window and released a stream of cigarette smoke from the corner of his mouth. "Morning, darlin'. Have a good night did you?" He grinned. "You've landed on your feet here with Mr. Moneybags."

  Kate had enough on her mind and was not in the mood to spar with the reporter. Ignoring him, she headed around the back of the taxi and crossed the drive. Jerry Markham obviously hadn't finished with her, though. He slid across the back seat and leaned out the other side of the car.

  "What did you think of my article on Daniel Crowther?"

  Halting, Kate turned back to face him. She hadn't intended to ask him any questions, in fact she had almost forgotten about the article. Her mind was so busy churning over her situation with Andre. But now he'd reminded her. "How did you get Andre to give you that quote?"

  A broad grin split the slimeball's face. "Cause some grief, did it? Sorry about that." His tone of voice held no hint of remorse. On the contrary; he sounded amused.

  Kate took a few steps back and wrapped her arms protectively around Keiko. "I want you to leave. I never want to set eyes on you again. You're a muckraker."

  "Well, if I rake muck, what does that make you, darlin'?"

  "Shut up and leave me alone." Kate swung away and hurried along the path beside the drive, eager for the sanctuary of the woodland trail. The taxi started moving, keeping pace with her. Jerry Markham hung his arm out the window, a cigarette between his fingers trailing smoke. "Keep that disgusting thing away from Keiko," Kate snapped at him.

  "Your new boyfriend didn't take much persuading, you know."

  Kate's heart hammered against the warm weight of her baby. She did not want to know what Markham was intimating. He was only trying to stir up trouble. She marched on, ignoring him.

  "Don't you want to hear about the deal Andre made?"

  "No!"

  "Trust him, do you?"

  Sweat beaded the skin over Kate's lip, and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. It was more than the sun and Keiko against her chest making her hot. Anger simmered inside her as the taxi continued to crawl at walking pace.

  Jerry tossed his cigarette butt out the window and folded his arms on the sill. "Don't let him fool you, darlin'. Andre Le Court comes from old money. People like that think they're a cut above the rest of us."

  Although Kate had decided not to say another word to Jerry Markham, she could not let his criticism of Andre pass. "You obviously don't know him," she retorted, glaring at the taxi. Thank goodness she only had twenty yards more before the path turned into the woods.

  Jerry Markham chuckled. "I know him well enough. I knew what to bribe him with to get the quote for the piece on Crowther."

  Despite the heat, a chill raced down Kate's spine. She didn't want to hear any more. Jerry Markham was trying to wind her up. And he had succeeded! She reached the spot where the path turned away from the drive into the sanctuary of the woodland, but instead of hurrying on and leaving the reporter behind, her feet slowed and halted. She didn't want to know what Markham meant. She didn't!

  He grinned at her as she turned back. "Go on then," she hissed. "You're dying to dish the dirt."

  Jerry held an unlit cigarette in his hand. He tapped it on the box, pushed it between his lips, and snapped his lighter. "Publicity," he said around his cigarette. "The deal was he confirmed Crowther was your kid's dad, and I did a high profile piece on the Caspian Manor.
"

  Kate's pulse hammered in her ears. Keiko must have sensed her distress as she started fidgeting. "I don't believe you!"

  He shrugged. "He's a businessman. He has his eye on the bottom line. They're all the same. Don't take it personally." He raised a hand in farewell and exchanged a few words with the driver. The car moved off and Kate stared after it. "See you in a few weeks at the press conference," Markham shouted out the window. Then the vehicle disappeared around a bend.

  "Press conference?" she said to herself, a strange numbness creeping through her. What was he talking about? She scrubbed a hand across her face and headed under the shade of the trees. A short distance along the path she found a wooden bench in a secluded spot. Kate slumped down and pressed her lips against Keiko's hair, breathing in the sweet, reassuring fragrance of her baby.

  Jerry Markham's words played back in her mind. He was only trying to stir things up. Andre would never strike a deal to tell the reporter her secrets in exchange for publicity. But doubt niggled at her. Increasing the popularity of the Caspian did seem to be Andre's raison d'être. In fact, all Andre's efforts to persuade her to change her image could be traced back to his dedication to making a success of his business.

  Was he really so single-minded in his drive to take the Caspian to the top that he'd deceive her? In the end, the newspaper article hadn't caused her any problems. Once the story came out, the paparazzi had left her alone as Andre said they would. But it was the principle of the thing.

  Kate rocked Keiko and hummed under her breath, as much to comfort herself as her baby. If she wanted answers she must ask Andre, but something held her back. What would she do if Jerry had told the truth? Her emotions swirled, a whirlpool of confusion. She wasn't sure how she felt. Or perhaps she was just scared of discovering Andre had let her down.

  "Oh, sweet pea," she whispered to Keiko, tears suddenly filling her eyes. She loved Andre. Last night she had let herself believe everything would work out for them. But the specter of Robert Le Court hung over Andre. Things kept confirming her fear that Andre was becoming like his father, not in his hedonistic pursuit of pleasure, but in his pursuit of wealth and power. And worst of all, his arrogant belief that he was better than everyone else.