by Fiona Lowe
“Jesse!” Erin gave him a gentle shove on the shoulder. “Please don’t turn my wedding photos into porn. The art of the shot is in the fact that the bride’s bare feet are pressed into the soil of the strawberry field.”
He looked at her utterly dumfounded at the criticism in her voice. “You’re wrong, you know. It won because of the look on that guy’s face.”
Luke’s voice surfaced uninvited. You find the truth of their happiness and photograph it.
She didn’t know what she did anymore.
His father grinned at his son. “From my position, forty is the new twenty.” He turned to Erin. “Don’t be ashamed of not winning overall.”
“I’m not.” A bristle of irritation raised its head—not just at her father but at herself. She’d been battling for two months to find the same joy in her work that she’d always found, but since the Littlejohn wedding she’d doubted her artistic eye. It was Nicole who’d asked her permission to enter that particular photo of Lindsay and Keith into the small competition run by a Midwest weddings website in the hope it would raise the profile of Whitetail Weddings That Wow. Erin thought the photo had no chance and that the fee was a waste of Nicole’s money but the judges had loved it. Now it seemed even Jesse could see something in the photo she’d missed. It reinforced a nagging and persistent voice that she had no clue what she was doing anymore. That perhaps she’d never had a clue.
“Did you get a plaque to dust?” her father asked.
“She got cash and a new camera,” Jessie said, rising to pick up the plaque to show his father.
Tom smiled. “It all helps to build your nest egg, eh?”
“It does.” She thought about how much working in Whitetail had done that.
Jesse’s phone rang. “Sorry, it’s Lenny about the tour next week.” He excused himself to take the call.
A silence stretched out between them. “What did you think of the band, Dad?”
“He’ll grow up one day, I guess.”
Again the bristling sensation sent a crop of goose bumps across her skin. Did her father have the right to criticize when he’d been absent for years? “Jesse works hard at his music.”
“But does he work smart?” Her father spun a cardboard coaster. “You know that working two jobs often isn’t enough to pay the bills.”
She thought about the years on the move where her mother had been working while her father had been working at chasing the next big thing. “Yeah, you taught me that.”
He nodded as if not realizing she hadn’t given him a compliment. “I also taught you to make your money work for you but you’re still not doing that, are you?”
“I’m investing in my account in the bank.”
“That’s a step forward I suppose.” He grinned at her. “At least it’s no longer under the floorboards.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m glad you’re back in town, Erin. I was worried about that guy you were seeing—”
That guy? “Luke?”
“Yeah, Luke.” Tom nodded thoughtfully. “I think breaking it off with him was a good idea.”
The offer of parental support warmed her. “Thanks, Dad. I do too.” Liar. She immediately needed some reassurance to counter the screaming denial in her head that kept gaining volume. “Why was it a good idea?”
Tom scratched his chin. “Just a feeling I had. He was telling me about the farm and the sort of debt that’s involved in a huge operation like that.”
“And he’s extending the debt for a new business.” Just thinking about it made her shiver.
“Is he now? Well, that makes a lot of things clearer.” He leaned back and finished his beer.
She studied his expression. “What do you mean? Clearer?”
Tom shrugged. “I said to him that I wanted to help you out with getting enough money together to lease a studio. At that point he told me to get off his property.”
That doesn’t sound like Luke. “I don’t understand. Why would he do that?”
Tom picked up her hands with fatherly affection. “I’m sorry I have to spell it out to you but he had other plans for your money. He didn’t want me around insisting that you get your studio.”
Had she heard right? “You want to help me with the studio?”
He smiled widely. “Of course I do.”
Hope soared out of the ashes of the past. After all the years of not being there and constantly letting her down, her father had come to her offering to help. He’d really meant what he’d said in Whitetail.
“If having your own studio is what you want,” Tom continued, “then that’s what I want for you too.” He gave her a long look. “I only want for you to be happy.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Excitement spun in her belly. “There’s the perfect space down in the Northrup King building. I can show you tomorrow and I’m only a few thousand short but if you go guarantor for the lease—”
“Hang on a bit, Poppet.” He laughed. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I want to help, I really do, but it won’t be a cash handout. You’ve always been so independent and I know you wouldn’t want that either.”
She wanted to yell, I’m so tired and worn down by everything that I’d love a cash gift, but she made herself keep listening.
“I can advise you on how your money can work for you. I know you prefer the bank and if you move some of it into a high-interest account, then that’s a start. I also have some money in a company which is giving good returns right now. It’s as safe as the bank but with better returns. Of course the less you invest the less you get back but I promise you, you’ll either be working in your studio by the end of the year or the end of next.” He smiled. “It’s totally up to you.”
I promise you. The well-worn words that had always fallen so easily from his mouth burned her like acid and opened her eyes. She studied her father as if really seeing him for the very first time tonight. The collar on his designer shirt was worn, the expensive cut of his hair was growing out and his eyes held the hard glitter of an addict close to getting his hit. In his case, money.
You fool. She withdrew her hands from under his, pressing the palms hard onto the table so she didn’t hit him or face-palm herself. “Are you involved in another start-up company, Dad?”
He shook his head almost too heartily. “No. I’ve been importing cardboard boxes from China for the last two years.”
She wanted desperately to believe him. “Is this investment in cardboard boxes?”
“Diversity is the key, Erin, and your money will be invested in a variety of companies, all of which will return your money to you and more. Like I’ve always said, work smart not hard.”
With the skill of a politician, he’d dodged a straight question and given a vague answer intended to reassure. “What’s the name of the investment group, Dad?”
“Rochester Holdings.”
She immediately typed the name into the internet browser on her phone.
“When did you get so skeptical, Poppet?” He plucked the phone from her fingers and tilted her chin. “Look at me. I’m here to help you. If I didn’t care about you I would have let Luke take all your money for his money pit of a farm.”
The words bombarded her. Pulling at her complex feelings for her father and her need to believe he had her best interests at heart, and tugging at the mess that was her now dead relationship with Luke.
I know how much security means to you, Erin, and I’m not asking you to invest any of your savings into the farm.
It was as if Luke had just entered the room, striding forward in his work boots to insert himself between her and her father.
Guarding her.
Loving her.
Her head jerked away from her father’s hand. “Do you love me, Dad?”
His head moved slightly back and forth as if the question was r
idiculous. “Do you really need to ask?”
“No. I know you do in your own way, only it’s not the right way.” With her heart bleeding, she stumbled to her feet sending her chair falling backward. “You love my money more than me and damn it, Dad, there isn’t even all that much of it. Despite everything you’ve just told me, I know in my heart of hearts that you need the cash for another start-up or to pay off a debt collector. I can’t believe I was blind to the signs but then again, you’re a smooth operator.” Her voice rose. “Using Luke against me was the bull’s-eye on my emotional weak spot, only this time you’ve miscalculated.”
“Erin—”
“What’s going on?” Jesse came back into the room, his phone still in his hand. “Why are you yelling?”
“Your sister’s having an emotional meltdown,” Tom said calmly. “It’s understandable, really, given everything she’s been through lately.”
“How do you even know what I’ve been through?” she shouted as everything fell more securely into place. “I’ve never told you a thing about what happened when I left Whitetail and yet here you are using it to get money.”
“Oh, shit.” Jesse paled. “I’m sorry, Erin. I told him you’d broken up with Luke.” His eyes suddenly blazed with anger and hurt and he turned on his father. “So that’s why you’ve been coming to the club and grilling me on Erin. It’s got nothing to do with fatherly concern or wanting to make things up to her, has it?”
Tom took a step forward with his hands up. “You’ve got it all wrong, son. I’ve been coming to the bar to reconnect with you.”
“You rat bastard.” Jesse’s right hand formed into a fist.
Erin moved between them. Things were bad enough without adding a fistfight. “Scamming your daughter is as low as a father can possibly go, don’t you think, Dad? Leave now and get some help.”
Jesse moved to the door and yanked it open. “Erin’s right, you need help. Remember to tell the therapist that you used your son as an unwitting accomplice so it goes on your rap sheet.”
“Kids, you’ve got it all wrong,” Tom said, desperation clinging to every word.
“No, we haven’t.” Jesse’s voice tumbled over Erin’s and he reached for her hand in a show of support.
Tom hesitated a moment, glancing between the two of them and then his body seemed to slump and he looked every minute of his fifty-five years. “I know you’ve got no reason to believe a single word I say, Erin, but that farmer of yours did ask me to leave his farm, only it wasn’t for the reason I said.”
Anger, disbelief and a thousand other emotions piled in on top of each other, making her question everything. “Then why did he ask you to leave?”
He sought her gaze. “To protect your money.”
The memory of watching her father leave the farm with Luke’s hand gripping hers so tightly that he crushed her fingers was as clear to her as if it was happening right this very moment.
Trust me. I will never do anything or let anything hurt you.
For the first time she truly believed them. Luke had done something that her father wasn’t capable of doing. His love for her had instinctively protected her, whereas her father’s love was warped by his addiction. “Dad, you’ve got a gambling addiction.”
Tom shook his head. “That’s a bit harsh, Erin.”
Sadness trickled through her for all of them. “It’s the truth, Dad. It’s cost us Mom and our life as a family.”
“I love you both.”
She gripped Jesse’s hand. “You do in your own way but you love the thrill of the chase and the dream of the big bucks more. All I’m asking you to do is admit that and get some help.”
“I’ll think about it.” He lingered for a moment but when neither of his children moved, he said, “Goodbye.”
Erin nodded, closing the door behind him and then she leaned her forehead onto the wood, relief slow to come to her.
“Do you think he’ll really go get help?” Jesse asked.
She raised her head, glimpsing the pain of betrayal in her younger brother’s eyes. “I have no idea but I do know one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t have any expectations or any illusions that he truly means it. Trust me, it’s so much easier that way. And safer.”
The pain of the truth made him flinch. “I’m so sorry, Erin. I would never have told him any of that stuff about you and Luke except that I thought he’d changed.”
“Both of us hoped for that.” She hugged him, wanting to make him feel better, just like she’d always done when he was a little boy. She’d always been the one who’d defended her mother and brother against her father. Always been the one trying to make things better and to keep them happy even when she was desperate for someone to defend and protect her.
Luke defended you. He protected you.
Her body started shaking and she sucked in a deep breath to steady herself. Luke had put her first and she’d let the past blind her to it. Her breath turned into a gulp and great racking sobs tore out of her, as if being hauled from her toes. Luke loved her enough to both defend her from her father and yet protect her feelings at the same time. What other reason was there for him not telling her what her father had done? Anyone else would have told her what a bastard Tom had been.
“Erin?” Jesse’s hand patted her shuddering back. “Um, are you okay?”
“Yes, no, I’m not sure,” she wailed into his shoulder. “I think I’ve messed up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Jesse shoved a box of tissues into her hands. “Is this about Luke looking out for you?”
She gave a shuddering gasp of breath and wiped her eyes, surprised at her brother’s intuition. “I told him I didn’t love him.”
Surprise crossed his cheeks. “Yeah, you told me you didn’t love him so why are you crying?”
“Because I l...lo...love him,” she stammered out between rafts of tears.
“You told him you didn’t love him but actually you do?” Jesse looked and sounded utterly bamboozled. “I thought girls were supposed to know all this stuff and it was guys who were clueless.”
She accepted the criticism. “I didn’t know then.”
“Does he love you?”
She sniffed. “He proposed to me.”
“Jeez.” He squeezed her shoulders so she had to look at him. “Do you miss him?”
She wiped her face on her sleeve. “Every single moment.”
Jesse huffed out a breath. “Then go see him.”
“It’s not that easy. It’s really complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Jesse said pragmatically, picking up her car keys. “I’ll drive you.”
She swiped the keys back off him. “You’ve had beer.”
“Then you drive but I’m coming with you because I want to shake this guy’s hand.”
She thought about the hurt on Luke’s face the last time she’d seen him, how she’d stomped on his dreams for them both and her heart spasmed so hard it stole her breath. “That’s if he’ll let us.”
* * *
“Luke!”
Wade’s yell and the blast of cold air made Luke glance up from his accounts to see his brother standing at the farm office door. “Come in and close the door.”
Panting heavily, Wade stepped inside, madly waving a magazine in the air. “Remember that journalist who came and did a piece on ‘fall in the northwoods’ and he reviewed the B and B?”
Luke rolled his eyes. “I’d hardly have forgotten it given you suggested I might want to groom the cows so they looked good for the photos.”
“You do it for the state fair,” Wade quipped. “Anyway, he just sent me the advance copy.”
Luke put out his hand. “So I’m figuring they gave you a great revie
w.”
Wade handed over the magazine. “I got a highly recommended.”
“Good for you.” He was proud of his brother. Wade worked hard, knew hospitality and he had the happy knack of reading what people wanted out of their long weekend or vacation. He started scanning the article but Wade’s wide forefinger almost punched it out of his hands. “Look, here.”
“I’m trying.” Luke spun away from him so he could keep reading uninterrupted.
Unable to wait, Wade excitedly pulled the magazine back. “American Road Magazine describes your ice cream as—” he cleared his throat, “—pure, old-fashioned decadence. How awesome is that?” He thumped him on the back enthusiastically.
Luke couldn’t quite take it in. To get publicity like this in the second month of production was almost unbelievable. “You served him Lakeview Farm ice cream?”
Wade beamed. “Yep. I gave him a generous scoop of your vanilla bean buzz to complement my best cherry pie and he loved it. I was thinking when you get the farm ice cream shop up and running next summer, I might offer a selection of pies to sell along with your cones.”
Luke stood up and grabbed his coat and scarf. “Good idea. Come on up to the house and we’ll celebrate our good reviews.”
Wade hesitated. “Ah, Luke...”
You need to get out more. Luke finished Wade’s unspoken sentence in his head. He knew he needed to get out more and for the past few weeks he’d been planning on going into town to have a meal at the Udder Bar and get back into circulation. Tonight was as good a night as any. “What about a drink at the Udder Bar?”
“I think you should do that and any other night I’d join you but—” Wade shot him a sheepish smile, “—I’ve got a date.”
Surprise rocked him. “Where did you meet him?”
“He was in the wedding party for the Littlejohn wedding.”
“He’s not related to the crazy bride, is he?” Luke half joked.
Wade laughed. “No need to panic. He’s a friend of the groom.”
He was pleased for Wade because it had been a long time since he’d dated. “I hope it’s a good night for you.”
