The Next Top Model: Soul Society

by Otaku X

  Chapter 5: Sailor Moon Photo Shoot

  Soifon awoke early to Yoruichi standing in her bed, stepping carefully among her ankles as she wrestled the large frame from off the lavender wall.

  Soifon frowned at the dark-skinned woman, who was already dressed in yellow Capri's and white blouse tied at her waist. She rose to one elbow. "What are you doing?"

  Yoruichi mumbled at the three foot by four foot poster of Tara's face made-up in abstractly designed purple and yellow eye shadow.

  "If I have to look at Tara Hills all day, I'm not going to have her stare at me all night, too."

  She pulled the frame of the wall and hopped off the bed with it.

  Soifon watched her collect the other three posters she'd already harvested from the walls and make out the door with them.

  "Good," Kuukaku said from her bed across the room. She got out of bed and adjusted her night slip, which was nothing more than an overlarge red tank top, and fumbled through her garment bag.

  Soifon looked down at her own sadly lacking chest. The gods were unfair.

  By the time everyone assembled in the kitchen twenty minutes later Orihime had made breakfast. At the table Yachiru already had a large bowl of double marshmallow Fruity-Os in chocolate milk, and Hiyori was chasing slices of banana and kiwi around in her bowl of Raisin Bran Cereal. Rukia was peeling an orange over a napkin, Nanao was picking out chunks of prune from her peanut-butter smoothie, and Momo was cutting up wedges of watermelon. Retsu had gotten her breakfast - just to be safe - and Rangiku was trying to offer Nemu one of her four pieces of toast slathered in salsa, sardines, and sweet bean paste Orihime had made for her. Nemu politely refused.

  "I remember how much you liked it last time," Orihime said, wearing a chef's hat she'd made out of paper towels and beaming at Rangiku, "when you and Captain Hitsugaya stayed at my house."

  Rangiku managed a smile. "Thanks, That's ... sweet of you."

  Soifon, Yoruichi, and Kuukaku entered the dining area, gave one look at the table, and collectively shook their heads.

  "I'm getting my own breakfast," Soifon told Orihime as the Living girl started to speak.

  "I think we all should," Yoruichi said.

  Kuukaku made a face at the breakfasts as she sat down in a chair and slung her stump over the back of it, turning to see into the kitchen. "I'll pass."

  At one table end Yumichika was looking at his scrambled eggs topped with chocolate chips and bacon bits. "I have another house rule," he said, rubbing his bloodshot eyes, making the feather bobble. "Anyone staying up all night and not sleeping must agree not to stare at those who are sleeping." He looked to Nemu, who only blinked at him.

  A round of 'okays' went up from the table.

  Yachiru munched on her cereal, chocolate and fruity milk dripping from her chin. "You need to scrape your face, Yumichika."

  He shook his head. "You mean shave."

  The girl shrugged.

  "Tara mail!" Orihime sang out, this time bracing as the contestants rushed her at the hall table by the living room. They all crowded around her.

  "'Hope you've had a good breakfast, because you're going to need some energy this morning. Be ready at eleven-thirty and try not to run around like a chicken with its head cut off.'"

  Orihime looked up to them. "Hmm. That could mean so many things."

  "Maybe we're going to dress up in chicken costumes," Momo said, frowning.

  "I want to be a duck," Yachiru decided.

  "It doesn't sound very model-like," Retsu said.

  "Maybe they'll make us pose with Colonial Sanders," Rukia said. "I always wanted to meet him."

  They all looked to her.

  She smiled feebly. "He always looks so kind..."

  At eleven-thirty the limousine pulled up to Tokyo's flea market capital and parked at a side street, where the thirteen contestants spilled out and met Tara and her assistant at the market entrance.

  Tara stood grinning at them, wearing cork wedge sandals and a perky pink gauze dress with a plunging neckline. She put her hands on her hips, bracelets on her wrists rattling, and looked at them all as they gathered before her.

  "Hiya!"

  "Hi, Tara!" they all greeted.

  "Sometimes as a model you have to put together your own look out of what you have available. Today you're going to do just that with what you can find here." She gestured grandly to the acres of tables, stalls, and stands beyond her. "Hand-me-downs, seconds, toss-offs, and treasures. They're all here. It's up to you to make the best style out of them. You'll each get two thousand yen and fifteen minutes to complete your style. Meet back here in fifteen minutes. Now go!"

  Tara barely stayed on her feet as the shinigami and Orihime, Hiyori, and Kuukaku mobbed her and her assistant. They doled out yen, and then got out of the way.

  Retsu and Nanao headed out to the stalls of vendors, while Yachiru dragged Yumichika to a table spread with feathery boas, strings of beads, and paisley shawls. On the other side of the market Rukia and Orihime were raiding a clothes line maze of second-hand clothing.

  Rukia smiled and started grabbing items as Orihime took her time sorting through tank dresses nearby.

  Rukia sighed. "Renji and I used to steal clothes off the laundry lines in Rukongai, but no one ever had stuff like this!"

  Orihime looked to her in shock. "You stole clothes?"

  Rukia looked guilty, but then waved it off. "We had to wear something."

  "Oh."

  Rukia took a blue sequined flapper-style dress off the line and held it up for Orihime to see. "What do you think?"

  Orihime nodded enthusiastically.

  Fifteen minutes later the contestants stood before Tara and her assistant, arrayed in a variety of bizarreness. Tara looked them all over, nodding at several, and then clapped her hands.

  "Okay, okay. Let's see how you did." her gaze drifted over them. "Yachiru, you're first, sweetie."

  Yachiru stepped forward and held out the pleated skirt of her pleated black and white skull dress that was edged with pink ruffles, striking a pose in her neon green cowboy boots that were two sizes too large.

  "Hmm, colorful and fun. Very good." Tara nodded. "Okay. Ooh, Yoruichi, you've tried something daring. Let's see it."

  Yoruichi stepped out of the line, minus her shirt, her torso covered with three dozen beaded necklaces above a leopard skin print skirt.

  "Okaaay," Tara said, nodding slowly. "Half Death Becomes Her, half Mr. T. Interesting." She looked farther down the line. "Let's see your style, Ran-Gi-Ku."

  Rangiku stepped out of the line, angling one shapely hip in her cut-off jeans shorts as she rose to her full height, making her yellow double-bandanas tied into a halter strain under pressure. She smiled.

  "Daisy Duke-ish. A little chic." Tara lifted her chin and gave her a gangsta pout, nodding. "It works." She pointed to Yumichika. "Let's see what you've done."

  Yumichika took a step out of line, nearly wrapped from head to toe in bright plumes of billowing, feathery boas. He blew a stray feather out of his face.

  "What do you think?" Tara asked her assistant. Before the slightly built Japanese woman could respond, Tara continued: "We like it. Very soft, very flowing."

  After each contestant had been assessed by Tara, the super model looked them all over for another few moments. Finally, she pointed to Rukia with a smile.

  "Love the matching blue," she said, indicating the Columbian blue flapper dress, and nearly matching, but too-big-for-her blue heels that Rukia was wearing. Beneath her dress, she wore black leggings, which matched the patent-leather clutch in her hands. "It's a complete look, too," Tara added with a nod. "Nicely done, girl."

  Rukia smiled and blushed a little, but said nothing.

  "All right, it's time to announce the winner," Tara said suddenly, clasping her hands together as she glanced down the line of them. Her assistant looked to her with anticipation. "The winner is," began Tara, "Rukia!"

  Rukia squealed in delight and jumped up
and down a few moments before calming down long enough to let Tara continue.

  "You wanna know what your prize is?" She grinned broadly. "You get to take one item from three of the other girls. What they're wearing right now."

  Rukia stopped jumping and looked at the other contestants, dread washing over her.

  "What?!" Kuukaku, Yachiru, and Hiyori cried together.

  "I picked out my stuff! It's mine!" Hiyori shouted, her triple layer of leis clutched in her hands.

  Yoruichi crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, daring Rukia to take a necklace. Soifon and Kuukaku merely looked at Rukia, which was enough to dissuade her from picking their accessories.

  Rukia's attention went to the safer choices. She looked at Hiyori's B'z t-shirt and Orihime's Kitchen Princess apron. "Uh, well ... I'll take Momo's Tokyo Giants cap ... and Hiyori' t-shirt, and ... Orihime's apron."

  Orihime looked down at her pink and yellow checkered apron and sighed.

  "You never know when you'll have to be able to throw an outfit together like this, so it's good that you all had practice today," Tara said as the other girl's gave up their items, leaving Hiyori in her chartreuse track suit. "And you all did pretty well. I have to say, I'm surprised." She flashed a smile. "Well, I've got to go and tape a show now, so I'll see you guys at judging tomorrow."

  They spent the rest of the day around the pool. Retsu, Yumichika, and Orihime all exhausted themselves blowing up inflatable pool toys for Yachiru. Yoruichi and Soifon played volleyball against Kuukaku and Rangiku in the pool, which proved awkward. Momo and Rukia practiced their runway walk on the long red carpet in the living room of the house as Nanao and Nemu coached, and Hiyori scoffed.

  Yumichika watched the volleyball game - Yoruichi in her black and gold bikini, Soifon in her lime green one-piece, Kuukaku in her red bikini, and Rangiku in a shiny pink bikini - until he found it necessary to drag his lounge chair away from the pool and take a nap...

  "Tara mail!" Orihime's voice rang out against the hall walls the next morning. She was immediately assailed by Rukia, Momo, Hiyori, and Yachiru, with the rest of the contestants tickling out of the rooms more slowly.

  "Ooh, open it!" Momo said, trying to stay out of Yachiru's way as the girl bounced like a rubber ball beside her.

  Yoruichi snatched the letter from Orihime proved too slow at opening it.

  Her gold eyes moved across the fanciful writing. "'You've shown me that you can put an outfit together, but can you rock a uniform? You'd better hope so, or the bad guy just might win.'" She frowned and looked to the other girls. "Hollows?"

  "No," Retsu said. "It can't be anything like that."

  Yumichika yawned, scratching himself. "What time?"

  Yoruichi glanced at the bottom of the letter. "Eight o'clock."

  "Eeek!" Orihime gasped, pointing to the wall clock. "We have twenty minutes!"

  Thirteen contestants made a mad scramble for their bedrooms.

  At eight-fifteen Ray Migel, dressed in black jeans and a black t-shirt with gray skulls on it, stood grinning at the contestants in a park near a lower school where the cameras, lights, curtained dressing area, and hair and make-up tables were set up in the shade of trees.

  "Hallo, girls!"

  "Hey, Ray!" they returned.

  "I hope you all rested up last night because today we're going to see how super you really are. Today you're going to bring to life one of Japan's most well-known heroines of the anime and manga world." He gestured to his right where a larger than life banner of all the Sailor Scouts suddenly unrolled from a cherry tree.

  Orihime let out a shrill sound and clapped. Rukia's eyes widened, and she joined Orihime's gleeful squeal. The rest of the contestants looked with confusion at the colorful banner, and then followed Orihime and Rukia's example and squealed, uncertain.

  "Not them!" Hiyori huffed. "They're all over the place!"

  Ray smiled at them. "Sailor Moon is one of the most recognized female superheroes around the world. Today you'll each be assigned one of the Scouts to emulate. We want you to embody the superhero qualities, and bring that to the photo shoot. Everybody ready?"

  A chorus of "Yes!" went up from the contestants.

  "All right then." Ray looked to his assistant, a Japanese man in his mid-twenties with glasses, who handed him a notepad. "First off, Nemu, you're Sailor Jupiter. Momo, you're Saturn. Rukia, you're Neptune. Yoruichi, you're Pluto..."

  Most of the shinigami were looking at the banner.

  "I don't know who's who," Retsu whispered to Nanao.

  "Maybe it doesn't matter," Nanao said.

  "... Nanao, you're Mercury. Soifon, you're Mars," Ray continued, reading from the notepad, "Hiyori, you're Uranus. Orihime, you're Sailor Moon -"

  "Yes! Yes!" Orihime cried, jumping three feet off the ground. "Yes, yes, yes!"

  Ray raised an eyebrow at her and continued. "Rangiku, you're Venus. Yachiru, you're Mini Moon." He grinned at her. "That works for you, girlie."

  Yachiru looked to the banner and spotted the smallest Scout. She giggled, and ran to the banner and hugged the portion bearing the pink Scout until she nearly ripped the banner down.

  "Yumichiki, you're Seiya," Ray was saying, "Retsu, you're Yaten, and Kuukaku, you're Taiki." He clapped twice, smiling wider. "Now, go find your Scout uniforms, and head to hair and make-up!"

  The contestants lunged for the three racks of Sailor Scout costumes by the changing curtains, and then realized they didn't know which ones to pick.

  Except for Orihime, Rukia, and Yachiru.

  "We just pick any one of these?" Rangiku asked, pushing uniforms around on the rack.

  "Oh, no," Orihime said. "We all have special ones. By color."

  "Mine!" Yachiru ripped the pink Mini Moon uniform off the rack and dashed to the dressing area.

  Orihime found an orange uniform and gave it to Rangiku. "This is Sailor Venus."

  Rangiku didn't look too excited about it. "Orange? My color is orange?"

  "You're Sailor Venus, goddess of love," Orihime added.

  "Oh...okay." Rangiku smiled and took the uniform to the dressing area.

  Rukia grabbed her Sailor Neptune costume, wrinkling her face. "I'm not dying my hair green."

  Orihime handed out the rest of the costumes. "Nanao, you're red; Yoruichi, you're Pluto; Yumichika, you're ... black."

  He looked at the skimpy shorts and halter set. "This is it?"

  Orihime nodded. "Yup."

  Retsu and Kuukaku looked to their similar costumes.

  "This is all there is?" Retsu asked dismally.

  Orihime held up a hanger with long black gloves. "And these."

  Retsu took the gloves, frowning.

  Ten minutes later, the contestants were in their Scout uniforms, most with their hair in ponytails, tiaras and headbands in place, boots and shoes on their feet.

  Yumichika was in what little there was of his Scout costume, looking embarrassed at the black shorts, empty halter top, and long black gloves past his elbows. Yachiru was the happiest, bopping around in a pink Scout uniform that seemed to be tailor made for her, twirling, her skirts fanned out.

  "I still think I should be Sailor Mars," Hiyori grumbled, looking to Soifon.

  Soifon ignored her, and glanced to Orihime. "Now who's the lost Sailor Scout?"

  Orihime dropped part of her smile as she fingered her double ponytails, taking a step away from the shorter woman.

  "Yachiru, you're up first!" Ray called, waving the little girl over to the jungle gym, which was surrounded with stage lights.

  Yachiru bounded over there, some pep in her step, and Ray stopped her before she climbed onto the jungle gym.

  "Not on it, sweetie, in front of it," he said, gesturing. "Now, remember, you're supposed to be fighting the bad guy, so remember to make the pose believable, but still keep the face fierce."

  "Okay." Yachiru nodded offhandedly.

  "So, you're the Mini Moon Scout," he continued after a moment, "and you're fighting t
he bad guy. What do you do?"

  Yachiru considered it for a moment, then replied, "Call Kenny."

  "Call who - Okay then," Ray sad quickly, then nodded. "Do what Mini Moon does. All right?"

  The pink-haired girl frowned slightly, playing with the little pink wand in her hands. "But I don't know what she does."

  "Just make something up."

  "How about this?" Yachiru struck a pose, holding the wand as if it were a wakizashi.

  "That works," Ray said, looking at the image on the camera as the photographer looked to him for the okay. "Just don't forget about the face."

  Yachiru gave him a fierce face, brandishing the wand.

  "Okay, very good."

  Twenty frames later, Yachiru was finished, and Ray was beaming at her progress.

  "That was great. You're done here, Yachiru." Ray waved over Rangiku. "Sailor Venus! You're next."

  Rangiku sidled up to him, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Sailor Venus!"

  "Good. Now your enemy is about to descend on the playground and you're going to defend the kiddies here. I want to see protector. Got it?" Ray asked.

  "Where's my sword?"

  Ray frowned. "Sailor Scouts don't use swords, honey."

  Rangiku frowned. "They don't? What do they use?"

  "Just, just..." Ray looked to his assistant, who shook his head. "Just look determined, Rangiku. Throw your arms up like you're warding off the enemy, but sell it like a model."

  Rangiku sighed. "Okay."

  Ray nodded to the photographer. "Whenever you're ready." He looked to Rangiku. "Let's see defender!"

  Rangiku put her hands on her hips, and then lurched toward the camera crew with her arm outstretched, finger pointing. "I command you to stop!"

  The crew took a step back in unison. Ray nodded. "Good, good. Now with a softer face."

  Rangiku smiled dreamily and tilted her head, making a peace sign, winking.

  "Oh, that works, too, but it's a little static. More energy."

  After Rangiku, Momo took her turn as Saturn, turning in half a dozen perfect shots, followed by Nemu, Rukia, and Retsu.

  When Kuukaku stepped in front of the camera, Ray frowned, then nodded. "Okay, Kuukaku, let's see Taiki's signature pose."

  Kuukaku threw her arm up in a thrusting motion before her, twisting her body in a perfect imitation of the Sailor Star - with a leering smile.

  "Ahhh, great body language, Kuukaku," Ray said, scratching the back of his head, "but too much smile. Let's see it again without the smile. Simply fierce, but not so much venom."

  Kuukaku repeated the movements, including the half-rabid smile. After fifteen shots of the same brutal smile, Ray nodded, and told her she was finished. He looked at the next name on the notepad. "Orihime!"

  Orihime skipped up to him, ponytails flopping. "Hi, Ray!"

  "Okay, Orihime, let's see your Sailor Moon, defender of the playground. Remember to keep it model, Orihime," he added.

  Orihime stood before the jungle gym and struck a Sailor Moon salute.

  "Ooh, good, but we need to see defender, Orihime. Yell Moon, Prism, Power!"

  Orihime looked aghast and flung her arms over her chest, turning her knees away from him. "Ew!"

  Ray's assistant said something lowly to him, and Ray grinned. "Oops," he said to Orihime. "Wrong phrase. Okay, let's see fierce defender!"

  Orihime waved her wand in a big circle and struck several more poses as the cameras flashed.

  "Take that, you Nega-slime!" she pointed to the tree. "You're dusted," she yelled at the slide, flinging her tiara at it. "I will punish you!" She held out her hands in front of her. "I reject!" She dropped her hands and looked sheepishly at Ray. "Oops. Sorry. Habit."

  Ray nodded. "Okay, okay. We've got enough."

  An hour later the contestants had finished shooting, and the crew was packing up, only to be mobbed by a pack of school children on their way home after class who wanted autographs from the Sailor Scouts. The contestants signed books and papers for half an hour, during which Retsu, Kuukaku, and Yumichika felt left out, as not many children wanted the Sailor Stars signatures.

  At the house, the contestants raided the refrigerator and then flopped on the assorted furniture in the living room. Yachiru dashed upstairs and returned a moment later with a bag of candy and plopped down at Nemu's feet near the couch.

  "That was fun!" she said, digging a small hand into the bag, bringing out a fistful of wrapped candies.

  "Fun?" Yoruichi stretched her arms over her head as she slouched down in one of the bean bags. "We didn't even get swords!"

  Orihime appeared from the kitchen with two bags of chips, a box of animal crackers, a bowl of grapes, a big package of Gummy bears, and a tube of jerky. "Sailor Scouts don't use swords." She settled next to Rukia at the coffee table.

  Yumichika was between Retsu and Kuukaku on the other couch. "Why didn't anyone want our autographs?" he moped. "We were just as pretty as everyone else."

  Orihime tossed a bag of chips to him. "The Sailor Stars aren't as popular."

  "Why not?" he wondered, ripping open the bag. Kuukaku immediately stuffed her hand in the bag and crunched a wad of chips, dribbling flakes across him as she withdrew the snacks.

  "Maybe because you look like a bunch of bondage maidens," Soifon said, raising an eyebrow.

  They all nodded.

  "I liked your boots," Nemu said quietly from a chair. All eyes looked to her, every mouth pausing chewing.

  Nemu blinked twice. "I did."

  Retsu sighed. "We were a little scary-looking."

  Suddenly Orihime leaped to her feet, tipping the bowl, sending grapes rolling across the floor. "We forgot to check!"

  She went to the stand beneath the mirror and snatched up the oversized envelope. "We've got Tara mail!" She rejoined the other contestants and dropped to her knees beside Rukia, only to be crowded by Yachiru, Momo, Nanao, and Yoruichi.

  "'Tomorrow you will meet with the judges," Orihime read from the card. "Thirteen girls remain, but only twelve will go on to compete for the title of The Next Top Model. One of you will be eliminated. Love, Tara.'"

  They all looked around at each other.

  "Good luck to everyone," Retsu said with a smile.

  The contestants congregated in the judging room, where Tara stood in front of the table, just as last time, smiling at everyone as they filed in.

  "Welcome, welcome," she said, smile broadening for a moment. "This is your second judging. Here, as usual, to judge you is noted fashion photographer Virgil Parker," she said, indicating him.

  He smiled. "Hi girls."

  "Next we have Miss Ray, runway coach extraordinaire," Tara said.

  Miss Ray smiled a little and then nodded, touching the thirteen points of his tiara.

  "Mr. Ishida, an avant-garde fashion designer known here in Tokyo," Tara continued, gesturing to Uryuu. "And finally, this week's guest judge," she said, pointing to the person at the far left end of the table. "Mr. Itchy-go Kurosa-kee." She smiled, and then continued before Ichigo had a chance to say or do anything. "Before we get under way, let me tell you about the prizes that the winner of The Next Top Model is going to receive. First up is a contract with Up Front Agency, the same agency that handles notable pop idol groups, such as Morning Musume, C-ute, and Berryz Koubou. Next is a two-page spread in BLT magazine, a magazine read by millions of girls every day, a multi-million yen contract with Revlon cosmetics, and last but certainly not least, a little over twelve million yen.

  "Well, let's look at your best shots." Tara took her seat behind the table. "First up is... Hiyori."

  Hiyori stepped forward, then stood in front of the judges, hands dug deep into the back pockets of her tracksuit pants.

  "For yesterday's challenge, I was the judge," Tara said, grinning as she looked to Miss Ray and Virgil. "The challenge was to put together a cohesive outfit, with limited cash and resources." She looked to Hiyori. "You did pretty well, but not spectacular." She made a so-s
o gesture.

  "Girl, what is up with that tracksuit? Miss Ray asked, rolling his eyes. "It's not so much that it's out of style, as that it was never in style."

  Hiyori crossed her arms over her chest and stood with her legs spread wider apart, staring back at Miss Ray.

  Tara smiled quickly and sat forward. "Let's see your best shot."

  A photograph of Hiyori flicked onto the screen.

  "So, you were Sailor Uranus." Tara looked from the screen to the pig-tailed girl. "How did you feel about playing such a gender-ambiguous role?"

  "I hate Sailor Moon," replied Hiyori, sharply. "And I'm not a guy."

  "Good intensity," Virgil said with a nod as he looked at the picture. "The pose is a little awkward, but you've certainly hit the mark with your face."

  Hiyori frowned a little.

  "Thanks, Hiyori," Tara said. "Next up is Momo."

  Momo stepped lightly down the carpet and stood before the judges, smiling.

  Tara smiled back. "And which Sailor Scout were you, Momo?"

  "Sailor Saturn."

  "Mmm, now let's see your best shot, Momo." On the screen there appeared a picture of Momo in all her Sailor regalia, holding a glaive, looking understatedly lethal. "Very good. Strong yet seductive."

  "I see quiet strength," Virgil said.

  "I see a girl with a big stick," Miss Ray said, nonplussed.

  "I see a pole-vaulter," Ichigo said, scowling over the photo.

  "I think she pulls it off well," Ishida said thoughtfully.

  "Very good, Momo," Tara said, smiling at the small girl. "Next up we have Nemu."

  Right on cue, Nemu stepped forward, her face void of expression.

  Tara sat up straighter in her chair. "All right, Nemu. Which Sailor Scout did you portray?"

  "Sailor Jupiter," Nemu replied evenly.

  "All righty then. Let's see your best shot."

  All eyes turned to the screen when Nemu's photograph popped on.

  "I've got to say, I'm liking the pose," Virgil said, sitting back a little."

  "Girl, you're lookin' fierce," Miss Ray said with a nod, pointing at the photo with his pen. "Now if only you could put that attitude into your walk - then you'd really have something there."

  Nemu nodded quickly. "Thank you."

  "Just one other thing, Nemu," Tara said, looking away from the picture. "I don't feel like we're getting much of your personality here." She looked to the others, who nodded in agreement, except for Uryuu and Ichigo, who both rolled their eyes. "Try to be a little more yourself next panel, okay?"

  Nemu nodded again. "I will do that."

  "All right. Thanks." Tara smiled again as Nemu's photo disappeared from the screen. "Up next: Yumichika."

  Ichigo snickered as Yumichika approached the judges' table. "What the hell's he doing here?"

  "Mr. Kurosaki, we're here to judge Yumichika's ability to model," Tara said in somber tones, "not her choice of gender."

  "Ha! Her choice of gender?" Ichigo smiled - smiled? - and laughed. "Wait 'til her captain gets word of that!"

  Tara shook her head dismissively and looked to Yumichika, who was glaring at Ichigo. "Yumichika, which Sailor Scout did you represent?"

  Yumichika twisted his face in disappointment. "I was Seiya, and I don't think it's a very well-liked Scout."

  Tara pursed her lips. "It's your job as a top model to sell the product - even if the product is not well-liked - and this time the product was Seiya. Let's see your best shot."

  On the screen appeared Yumichika as Seiya, looking more butch-drag queen than ambiguous Scout.

  "He's a hermaphrodite!" Ichigo howled.

  Yumichika frowned at him.

  Tara shook her head at the photo. "You didn't quite capture the indefinite characteristics of the Scout."

  "He looks angry, to me," Virgil said, shaking his head.

  "That's one pouty-pumpkin, sista," Miss Ray said, clucking her tongue.

  Tara sighed, looking to Yumichika. "Next up we have Soifon."

  From there it went until all the contestants had been picked apart, and Tara dismissed them for the judges' deliberation.

  Ichigo pulled the photo of Kuukaku from Virgil as soon as the photographer got it. "Hell, what an evil smile! She should go home."

  Tara frowned at him. "Are you sure you're not judging her too hastily, Mr. Kurosaki?"

  "Yeah, I'm sure. She's a mean one."

  "It's not the arm, is it?"

  Ichigo glared at Tara. "She has an arm; she just didn't bring it with her!"

  "It's because she shot him out of a cannon," Uryuu said with a chuckle.

  Everyone looked to Ichigo, who was blushing at their confusion.

  "Hmm, so that's what they're calling it now," Miss Ray said with a smarmy smile.

  "What about Yachiru?" Tara asked, indicating the picture.

  "Looks good to me," Miss Ray said.

  "Not very threatening," Uryuu added.

  "She looks like she's about to whack someone with her wand," Virgil said, sighing, "but yeah, it's a good picture. Looks real."

  "And Orihime?" Tara slid the picture of said girl towards Miss Ray, who shook his head a little.

  "I'm not seein' model."

  Virgil shook his head as well. "Me neither. She has good energy, but it really doesn't look like a model."

  "It looks exactly like something Sailor Moon would do," Uryuu mumbled, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he inspected the photo closer.

  "But she lost her model," Tara replied.

  "Nah, I think she hit the nail on the head," Ichigo said, snatching the photograph away from her. "She looks exactly like her."

  "This is a modeling competition, dearie, not a look-alike contest," Miss Ray said testily, leaning across Tara.

  "Well," Tara paused, looking to all of the judges. "I think we've reached a decision. Let's call the girls back in."

  A moment later the contestants stood before the judges table again, looking hopefully at the panel. Tara stood in front of the table, gazing out over them.

  "Thirteen beautiful girls stand in before me, but I only have twelve photos in my hands. The girl whose name I do not call must immediately return to the house, pack their belongings, and go home."

  The contestants all exchanged nervous looks.

  Tara smiled. "Yachiru!"

  Yachiru blinked a few times, then scampered down the carpet to stand before Tara. Tara pulled her photo from her stack.

  "Congratulations. You're still in the running to become The Next Top Model."

  "Wee!" the girl cried as she hopped back into line with the other contestants.

  Tara smiled. "Orihime!"

  The Living girl jumped up and down and hugged Rukia, nearly lifting her off her feet before skipping down the carpet to meet Tara.

  "Congratulations." Tara handed her the photo of Sailor Moon. "You're sill in the running to become The Next Top Model."

  Orihime returned to the line, smiling.

  Tara looked to the contestants. "Rangiku!"

  "She could save me any-day," Miss Ray said to Uryuu under his breath at the table.

  Uryuu's eyes were still on Orihime.

  And so the names were called.

  Nanao. Soifon. Nemu. Momo. Hiyori. Rukia. Yoruichi. Retsu.

  Finally only two were left.

  Tara looked to them.

  "Yumichika, Kuukaku, will you both please step forward."

  Tara looked to each of them for several long moments. Kuukaku narrowed her eyes at the model. Yumichika looked bewildered.

  "Two beautiful girls stand before me, but I only have one picture in my hand," she said breathily, pausing.

  Yumichika shifted. "I'm not -"

  "I will only call one name," she continued on, "and the girl whose name I do not call must return to the townhouse, pack up their things, and go home.

  "Yumichika, Kuukaku," she said, looking to them each in turn, "neither of you were able to embody the character that
you were assigned. Kuukaku, you've shown an inflexibility in both photo shoots that you've had so far, and it makes us judges wonder if you can do other expressions, or other poses." She looked to Yumichika. "Last week, your first week out, you really impressed us. But this week, your interpretation of Seiya fell flat. We feel that you didn't bring enough character to the shoot. We see potential in both of you, but one shows more potential, and it's a potential we think that can really shine." Tara blinked slowly, then turned over the photo in her hands. "Yumichika."

  Yumichika grinned, sniffing with emotion.

  Kuukaku had emotions, too. "I'm out?" she yelled, looking at Tara with disbelief. "I'm out?"

  "Yes; you can now -"

  "Yeah, yeah, I know what to do." Kuukaku sent a piercing look to the judges' table, pinpointing Ichigo. "Next time you need help, buddy, I'll remember this!"

  Ichigo glowered at her form as it stalked out of the room. "It wasn't all me!"

  And then there were twelve.