Everything's Eventual

by Stephen King

  “You’re telling me all this just to scare me, Mr. Olin, aren’t you? To scare me off.”

  “Indeed I am not. You know the history of the room, beginning with the suicide of its first occupant.”

  Mike did. Kevin O’Malley, a sewing machine salesman, had taken his life on October 13, 1910, a leaper who had left a wife and seven children behind.

  “Five men and one woman have jumped from that room’s single window, Mr. Enslin. Three women and one man have overdosed with pills in that room, two found in bed, two found in the bathroom, one in the tub and one sitting slumped on the toilet. A man hanged himself in the closet in 1970—”

  “Henry Storkin,” Mike said. “That one was probably accidental … erotic asphyxia.”

  “Perhaps. There was also Randolph Hyde, who slit his wrists, and then cut off his genitals for good measure while he was bleeding to death. That one wasn’t erotic asphyxiation. The point is, Mr. Enslin, that if you can’t be swayed from your intention by a record of twelve suicides in sixty-eight years, I doubt if the gasps and fibrillations of a few chambermaids will stop you.”

  Gasps and fibrillations, that’s nice, Mike thought, and wondered if he could steal it for the book.

  “Few of the pairs who have turned 1408 over the years care to go back more than a few times,” Olin said, and finished his drink in a tidy little gulp.

  “Except for the French twins.”

  “Vee and Cee, that’s true.” Olin nodded.

  Mike didn’t care much about the maids and their … what had Olin called them? Their gasps and fibrillations. He did feel mildly rankled by Olin’s enumeration of the suicides … as if Mike was so thick he had missed, not the fact of them, but their import. Except, really, there was no import. Both Abraham Lincoln and John Kennedy had vice presidents named Johnson; the names Lincoln and Kennedy had seven letters; both Lincoln and Kennedy had been elected in years ending in 60. What did all of these coincidences prove? Not a damned thing.

  “The suicides will make a wonderful segment for my book,” Mike said, “but since the tape recorder is off, I can tell you they amount to what a statistician resource of mine calls ‘the cluster effect.’ “

  “Charles Dickens called it ‘the potato effect,’” Olin said.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “When Jacob Marley’s ghost first speaks to Scrooge, Scrooge tells him he could be nothing but a blob of mustard or a bit of underdone potato.”

  “Is that supposed to be funny?” Mike asked, a trifle coldly.

  “Nothing about this strikes me as funny, Mr. Enslin. Nothing at all. Listen very closely, please. Vee’s sister, Celeste, died of a heart attack. At that point, she was suffering mid-stage Alzheimer’s, a disease which struck her very early in life.”

  “Yet her sister is fine and well, according to what you said earlier. An American success story, in fact. As you are yourself, Mr. Olin, from the look of you. Yet you’ve been in and out of room 1408 how many times? A hundred? Two hundred?”

  “For very short periods of time,” Olin said. “It’s perhaps like entering a room filled with poison gas. If one holds one’s breath, one may be all right. I see you don’t like that comparison. You no doubt find it overwrought, perhaps ridiculous. Yet I believe it’s a good one.”

  He steepled his fingers beneath his chin.

  “It’s also possible that some people react more quickly and more violently to whatever lives in that room, just as some people who go scuba-diving are more prone to the bends than others. Over the Dolphin’s near-century of operation, the hotel staff has grown ever more aware that 1408 is a poisoned room. It has become part of the house history, Mr. Enslin. No one talks about it, just as no one mentions the fact that here, as in most hotels, the fourteenth floor is actually the thirteenth … but they know it. If all the facts and records pertaining to that room were available, they would tell an amazing story … one more uncomfortable than your readers might enjoy.

  “I should guess, for example, that every hotel in New York has had its suicides, but I would be willing to wager my life that only in the Dolphin have there been a dozen of them in a single room. And leaving Celeste Romandeau aside, what about the natural deaths in 1408? The so-called natural deaths?”

  “How many have there been?” The idea of so-called natural deaths in 1408 had never occurred to him.

  “Thirty,” Olin replied. “Thirty, at least. Thirty that I know of.”

  “You’re lying!” The words were out of his mouth before he could call them back.

  “No, Mr. Enslin, I assure you I’m not. Did you really think that we keep that room empty just out of some vapid old wives’ superstition or ridiculous New York tradition … the idea, maybe, that every fine old hotel should have at least one unquiet spirit, clanking around in the Suite of Invisible Chains?”

  Mike Enslin realized that just such an idea—not articulated but there, just the same—had indeed been hanging around his new Ten Nights book. To hear Olin scoff at it in the irritated tones of a scientist scoffing at a bruja-waving native did nothing to soothe his chagrin.

  “We have our superstitions and traditions in the hotel trade, but we don’t let them get in the way of our business, Mr. Enslin. There’s an old saying in the Midwest, where I broke into the business: ‘There are no drafty rooms when the cattlemen are in town.’ If we have empties, we fill them. The only exception to that rule I have ever made— and the only talk like this I have ever had—is on account of room 1408, a room on the thirteenth floor whose very numerals add up to thirteen.”

  Olin looked levelly at Mike Enslin.

  “It is a room not only of suicides but of strokes and heart attacks and epileptic seizures. One man who stayed in that room—this was in 1973—apparently drowned in a bowl of soup. You would undoubtedly call that ridiculous, but I spoke to the man who was head of hotel security at that time, and he saw the death certificate. The power of whatever inhabits the room seems to be less around midday, which is when the room-turns always occur, and yet I know of several maids who have turned that room who now suffer from heart problems, emphysema, diabetes. There was a heating problem on that floor three years ago, and Mr. Neal, the head maintenance engineer at that time, had to go into several of the rooms to check the heating units. 1408 was one of them. He seemed fine then—both in the room and later on—but he died the following afternoon of a massive cerebral hemorrhage.”

  “Coincidence,” Mike said. Yet he could not deny that Olin was good. Had the man been a camp counselor, he would have scared ninety per cent of the kiddies back home after the first round of campfire ghost stories.

  “Coincidence,” Olin repeated softly, not quite contemptuously. He held out the oldfashioned key on its oldfashioned brass paddle. “How is your own heart, Mr. Enslin? Not to mention your bloodpressure and psychological condition?”

  Mike found it took an actual, conscious effort to lift his hand … but once he got it moving, it was fine. It rose to the key without even the minutest trembling at the fingertips, so far as he could see.

  “All fine,” he said, grasping the worn brass paddle. “Besides, I’m wearing my lucky Hawaiian shirt.”

  Olin insisted on accompanying Mike to the fourteenth floor in the elevator, and Mike did not demur. He was interested to see that, once they were out of the manager’s office and walking down the hall which led to the elevators, the man reverted to his less consequential self; he became once again poor Mr. Olin, the flunky who had fallen into the writer’s clutches.

  A man in a tux—Mike guessed he was either the restaurant manager or the maître d’—stopped them, offered Olin a thin sheaf of papers, and murmured to him in French. Olin murmured back, nodding, and quickly scribbled his signature on the sheets. The fellow in the bar was now playing “Autumn in New York.” From this distance, it had an echoey sound, like music heard in a dream.

  The man in the tuxedo said “Merci bien” and went on his way. Mike and the hotel manager went on theirs. Olin
again asked if he could carry Mike’s little valise, and Mike again refused. In the elevator, Mike found his eyes drawn to the neat triple row of buttons. Everything was where it should have been, there were no gaps … and yet, if you looked more closely, you saw that there was. The button marked 12 was followed by one marked 14. As if, Mike thought, they could make the number nonexistent by omitting it from the control-panel of an elevator. Foolishness … and yet Olin was right; it was done all over the world.

  As the car rose, Mike said, “I’m curious about something. Why didn’t you simply create a fictional resident for room 1408, if it scares you all as badly as you say it does? For that matter, Mr. Olin, why not declare it as your own residence?”

  “I suppose I was afraid I would be accused of fraud, if not by the people responsible for enforcing state and federal civil rights statutes—hotel people feel about civil rights laws as many of your readers probably feel about clanking chains in the night—then by my bosses, if they got wind of it. If I couldn’t persuade you to stay out of 1408, I doubt that I would have had much more luck in convincing the Stanley Corporation’s board of directors that I took a perfectly good room off the market because I was afraid that spooks cause the occasional travelling salesman to jump out the window and splatter himself all over Sixty-first Street.”

  Mike found this the most disturbing thing Olin had said yet. Because he’s not trying to convince me anymore, he thought. Whatever salesmanship powers he had in his office—maybe it’s some vibe that comes up from the Persian rug—he loses it out here. Competency, yes, you could see that when he was signing the maître d’s chits, but not salesmanship. Not personal magnetism. Not out here. But he believes it. He believes it all.

  Above the door, the illuminated 12 went out and the 14 came on. The elevator stopped. The door slid open to reveal a perfectly ordinary hotel corridor with a red-and-gold carpet (most definitely not a Persian) and electric fixtures that looked like nineteenth-century gaslights.

  “Here we are,” Olin said. “Your floor. You’ll pardon me if I leave you here. 1408 is to your left, at the end of the hall. Unless I absolutely have to, I don’t go any closer than this.”

  Mike Enslin stepped out of the elevator on legs that seemed heavier than they should have. He turned back to Olin, a pudgy little man in a black coat and a carefully knotted wine-colored tie. Olin’s manicured hands were clasped behind him now, and Mike saw that the little man’s face was as pale as cream. On his high, lineless forehead, drops of perspiration stood out.

  “There’s a telephone in the room, of course,” Olin said. “You could try it, if you find yourself in trouble … but I doubt that it will work. Not if the room doesn’t want it to.”

  Mike thought of a light reply, something about how that would save him a room-service charge at least, but all at once his tongue seemed as heavy as his legs. It just lay there on the floor of his mouth.

  Olin brought one hand out from behind his back, and Mike saw it was trembling. “Mr. Enslin,” he said. “Mike. Don’t do this. For God’s sake—”

  Before he could finish, the elevator door slid shut, cutting him off. Mike stood where he was for a moment, in the perfect New York hotel silence of what no one on the staff would admit was the thirteenth floor of the Hotel Dolphin, and thought of reaching out and pushing the elevator’s call-button.

  Except if he did that, Olin would win. And there would be a large, gaping hole where the best chapter of his new book should have been. The readers might not know that, his editor and his agent might not know it, Robertson the lawyer might not … but he would.

  Instead of pushing the call-button, he reached up and touched the cigarette behind his ear—that old, distracted gesture he no longer knew he was making—and flicked the collar of his lucky shirt. Then he started down the hallway toward 1408, swinging his overnight case by his side.

  II

  The most interesting artifact left in the wake of Michael Enslin’s brief stay (it lasted about seventy minutes) in room 1408 was the eleven minutes of recorded tape in his minicorder, which was charred a bit but not even close to destroyed. The fascinating thing about the narration was how little narration there was. And how odd it became.

  The minicorder had been a present from his ex-wife, with whom he had remained friendly, five years before. On his first “case expedition” (the Rilsby farm in Kansas) he had taken it almost as an afterthought, along with five yellow legal pads and a leather case filled with sharpened pencils. By the time he reached the door of room 1408 in the Hotel Dolphin three books later, he came with a single pen and notebook, plus five fresh ninety-minute cassettes in addition to the one he had loaded into the machine before leaving his apartment.

  He had discovered that narration served him better than notetaking; he was able to catch anecdotes, some of them pretty damned great, as they happened—the bats that had dive-bombed him in the supposedly haunted tower of Gartsby Castle, for instance. He had shrieked like a girl on her first trip through a carny haunted house. Friends hearing this were invariably amused.

  The little tape recorder was more practical than written notes, too, especially when you were in a chilly New Brunswick graveyard and a squall of rain and wind collapsed your tent at three in the morning. You couldn’t take very successful notes in such circumstances, but you could talk … which was what Mike had done, gone on talking as he struggled out of the wet, flapping canvas of his tent, never losing sight of the minicorder’s comforting red eye. Over the years and the “case expeditions,” the Sony minicorder had become his friend. He had never recorded a first-hand account of a true supernatural event on the filament-thin ribbon of tape running between its reels, and that included the broken comments he made while in 1408, but it was probably not surprising that he had arrived at such feelings of affection for the gadget. Long-haul truckers come to love their Kenworths and Jimmy-Petes; writers treasure a certain pen or battered old typewriter; professional cleaning ladies are loath to give up the old Electrolux. Mike had never had to stand up to an actual ghost or psychokinetic event with only the minicorder—his version of a cross and a bunch of garlic—to protect him, but it had been there on plenty of cold, uncomfortable nights. He was hardheaded, but that didn’t make him inhuman.

  His problems with 1408 started even before he got into the room.

  The door was crooked.

  Not by a lot, but it was crooked, all right, canted just the tiniest bit to the left. It made him think first of scary movies where the director tried to indicate mental distress in one of the characters by tipping the camera on the point-of-view shots. This association was followed by another one—the way doors looked when you were on a boat and the weather was a little heavy. Back and forth they went, right and left they went, tick and tock they went, until you started to feel a bit woozy in your head and stomach. Not that he felt that way himself, not at all, but—

  Yes, I do. Just a little.

  And he would say so, too, if only because of Olin’s insinuation that his attitude made it impossible for him to be fair in the undoubtedly subjective field of spook journalism.

  He bent over (aware that the slightly woozy feeling in his stomach left as soon as he was no longer looking at that subtly off-kilter door), unzipped the pocket on his overnighter, and took out his minicorder. He pushed RECORD as he straightened up, saw the little red eye go on, and opened his mouth to say, “The door of room 1408 offers its own unique greeting; it appears to have been set crooked, tipped slightly to the left.”

  He said The door, and that’s all. If you listen to the tape, you can hear both words clearly, The door and then the click of the STOP button. Because the door wasn’t crooked. It was perfectly straight. Mike turned, looked at the door of 1409 across the hall, then back at the door of 1408. Both doors were the same, white with gold numberplaques and gold doorknobs. Both perfectly straight.

  Mike bent, picked up his overnight case with the hand holding the minicorder, moved the key in his other hand tow
ard the lock, then stopped again.

  The door was crooked again.

  This time it tilted slightly to the right.

  “This is ridiculous,” Mike murmured, but that woozy feeling had already started in his stomach again. It wasn’t just like seasickness; it was seasickness. He had crossed to England on the QE2 a couple of years ago, and one night had been extremely rough. What Mike remembered most clearly was lying on the bed in his stateroom, always on the verge of throwing up but never quite able to do it. And how the feeling of nauseated vertigo got worse if you looked at a doorway … or a table … or a chair … at how they would go back and forth … right and left … tick and tock …

  This is Olin’s fault, he thought. Exactly what he wants. He built you up for it, buddy. He set you up for it. Man, how he’d laugh if he could see you. How—

  His thoughts broke off as he realized Olin very likely could see him. Mike looked back down the corridor toward the elevator, barely noticing that the slightly whoopsy feeling in his stomach left the moment he stopped staring at the door. Above and to the left of the elevators, he saw what he had expected: a closed-circuit camera. One of the house dicks might be looking at it this very moment, and Mike was willing to bet that Olin was right there with him, both of them grinning like apes. Teach him to come in here and start throwing his weight and his lawyer around, Olin says. Lookit him! the security man replies, grinning more widely than ever. White as a ghost himself, and he hasn’t even touched the key to the lock yet. You got him, boss! Got him hook, line, and sinker!

  Damned if you do, Mike thought. I stayed in the Rilsby house, slept in the room where at least two of them were killed—and I did sleep, whether you believed it or not. I spent a night right next to Jeffrey Dahmer’s grave and another two stones over from H. P. Lovecraft’s; I brushed my teeth next to the tub where Sir David Smythe supposedly drowned both of his wives. I stopped being scared of campfire stories a long time ago. I’ll be damned if you do!