Twelve Days - The Beginning

by Reyner, Jade

  She didn’t want Vaughn to believe that he had freaked her out though and she felt she owed him some kind of explanation. After all, she hadn’t been a completely innocent bystander and it was unfair for him to take all of the blame.

  “Vaughn,” her voice was shaky, wavering slightly with the emotion that she was trying to conceal. “You didn’t freak me out – at all. That wasn’t why I bolted.” she swallowed, unsure how to continue, but she knew that she needed to be honest. She felt that she owed him that at least.

  “I’m scared, Vaughn – scared for more reasons than you can possibly understand. I’ve been married for ten years and in that time I never once considered another man. And then you – you burst into my life and totally scramble my brains, making me think things that I should in no way be thinking and making me feel things that I shouldn’t be feeling. All of a sudden, I find myself thinking about another man and that is fundamentally wrong. It goes against everything that I believe in. I’m scared shitless, Vaughn; really, really scared and the irony is that you have absolutely no idea why.”

  She looked up from the table and locked eyes with his, hers full of unshed tears, his full of concern and another emotion she couldn’t even begin to name. He continued to absent-mindedly rub her hand, his fingers finding their way to the underside of her wrist and stroking her there. This time she could not contain the shiver his touch produced and Vaughn sighed, a small smile playing around his mouth.

  “You feel it Elise, don’t you? Tell me you feel it too and that it’s not just me going mad here?”

  “Yes, Vaughn.” she allowed, finally being honest with herself “Yes, I feel it too – but it can go nowhere and I think for both our sakes, we should try to keep our distance from now on. I have more than enough going on in my life without adding any more complications to it. Maybe I should resign from the off-site team – that way we wouldn’t even need to work together. I’m a strong woman Vaughn....I’ve had to be, but there is only so much strength left right now and if I lose it, we will both end up in a situation we’ll regret.” She looked across at him, her eyes moist with the ever-present tears threatening to spill. She was an emotional wreck around this man and she wasn’t ready to delve into her psyche to find out why.

  “I can promise you Elise that any situation with you would never be cause for regret.” Vaughn sighed. “I know that you are married, I know what that means to you and believe me, I am not in the habit of pursuing married women. There is something about you that draws me in though, something that I can’t explain and I find myself unable to walk away. I don’t want to walk away. I am not going to walk away. It’s as simple as that. I want to take whatever risks I need to take to be with you....however problematic that may be.”

  “You hardly know me though Vaughn – why me? Why not Olivia? She’s young, beautiful and completely available and, as we know from recent evidence, not averse to your advances. Why would you want to get involved with me when you know it will never go anywhere?”

  Ignoring the last part of her sentence, Vaughn instead picked up on her comments about Olivia, his eyes flaring a little with hope. “Why Miss Grayson, dare I flatter myself that I hear a slight jealousy in your voice?” he mocked.

  Elise raised her eyebrows at him, effectively silencing any further comment he may have been about to make on that subject and he laughed.

  “I guess I just don’t understand what it is about me that has you so compelled to potentially ruin both of our careers, my marriage and your reputation – just for a cheap roll in the hay!” she stated matter of factly.

  Vaughn abruptly stopped rubbing her wrist and pulled his hands away angrily, his eyes spitting fire as they glared at her across the table. Clearly not trusting himself to speak quietly he leaned forward and hissed instead, his voice menacing and cold.

  “Don’t you dare to assume that anything we may have would be cheap. Just because you haven’t been tempted in the whole time that you have been married doesn’t mean that you are unattractive. You are a young, vibrant and beautiful woman who is stuck in an unhappy relationship – a marriage that most people would have walked away from long since. I’m not an idiot, Elise; I know when I touched your hips tonight that you were in pain and I know that he did that to you. Men like that don’t deserve to be alive and they certainly do not deserve the love of a woman like you.” The depth of passion in his voice took her by surprise as he continued to hiss across the table.

  “I do not agree with cheating and nor do I agree with breaking up a marriage but I am damned if I will stand by, even as a friend, and watch you being used as a human punch-bag just because you lack the courage to face up to reality and get the hell out of there!”

  Elise couldn’t speak. Her throat had dried up and all coherent thought had fled at the sheer level of anger on Vaughn’s face. She had seen Cole like this once or twice when he had been patching her up but for some reason on Vaughn it seemed much more deadly. She could deny it, pretend that she didn’t know what he was talking about but that would just be pointless. He knew – and he still wanted to spend time with her. There was no point in prettying anything up for him.

  Nervously she took a sip of her tea, her fingers shaking, making it difficult to get the mug to her mouth.

  “How.....” she whispered, “how did you know?”

  “I...” for a brief moment a look of pain flitted across his face and then it was gone, replaced by a look of calm concern.

  “I heard most of what your husband said in the office the other day and it didn’t take a genius to work out the rest. To see Cole lay into your husband like that was unexpected and I spent a good while that evening trying to piece it all together. Why would someone as calm as Cole go off the deep end like that? There must have been a really good reason. From then on, I had my suspicions but it wasn’t until tonight when I touched your hips that I knew for certain.” He looked across at her and locked his eyes onto hers.

  “How long, Elise? How long has this been going on?” he asked gently, taking both her hands this time and holding them steady in his warm grip, trying to stop the incessant shaking.

  “I.....” she paused, hung her head, ashamed to admit to just how long she had suffered at the hands of her husband. Tenderly, Vaughn put a finger under her chin and lifted it so that their eyes could connect again.

  “How long?” he prompted softly, his eyes never once leaving hers.

  “Five years on and off” she whispered, her voice barely audible. ”Five long years.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  She watched the range of emotions playing across Vaughn’s face as her words sank in.

  Dimly, she was aware of activity in the background; the University crowd packing up and leaving, the clinking of cups being cleared away, merry chatter coming from the kitchen and she found herself focusing on the cheerful decorations adorning the interior of the restaurant.

  Christmas. In all the recent events she had almost forgotten that they were in the midst of the time of frivolity and cheer, goodwill to all men and so on. Goodwill – when on earth had she ever been the recipient of goodwill?

  Christmas with Dale was always the same; there would be the usual bottle of perfume, wrapped haphazardly with last year’s paper, the television blaring achingly dull re-runs all day long and a growing mountain of empty bottles.

  One year, she had decided to invite her parents over for Christmas Day, thinking that they could do the whole traditional shebang. She had bought a turkey and all the trimmings and had spent ages cooped up with Delia’s finest trying to work out how to cook everything to perfection.

  The day had started out well; Dale was sober and on good form. The meal had been OK, not a roaring success but edible at least, and all had been going swimmingly – until her Dad had suggested a round of poker.

  Not being a particularly good card player, she had opted to sit it out but watched from the sidelines, as her parents took on Dale in the traditional battle of poker face and wil
ls. At first Dale was winning and although they were only betting small amounts, he was beginning to clean her parents out. Just as he was about to finish them off though his luck changed, and, before long, he had lost all of his money. Never one to be a good loser, he started calling both her parents cheats before slamming out of the room and then out of the front door. He hadn’t returned for several hours by which time he was well and truly drunk.

  Her parents had left shortly after Dale, both trying hard to hide their concern for their daughter’s wellbeing. In the end, her Dad had opted for patting her on the shoulder and telling her that there was always a home for her with them. She had smiled weakly, reassuring them that all was fine and that Dale was just highly strung sometimes.

  Since that day her parents had never been back to her house and Dale had restricted her visits, only allowing her to go to them once a month. The whole thing was ridiculous and, to start with, she had argued with him – telling him that he had absolutely no right to tell her when she could see her own parents. Dale did not see his parents, and failed to see why she needed to have contact with hers.

  After she had defied him and managed to fit in three visits one month, he had taken her up to their room and proceeded to force himself upon her in a way that only a man can – that had been the very first time that he had raped her.

  Unfortunately that day had been just the beginning and since then he had used his physical strength to overcome her on a regular basis, teaching her ‘lessons’ until she started to behave in a way that he saw fit. It was becoming increasingly difficult to please him as time went on; the rules changed on a daily basis and as a result, she became more a product of Dale than of herself. He had broken her spirit over the years, changed part of who she was and now she was just too tired to fight.

  A plate smashing in the background snapped her out of her reverie and she almost flinched as the full force of Vaughn’s angry glare connected with hers.

  “Five years, Elise!” he nearly bellowed, “Five fucking years! Jesus Christ!”

  He took a moment to steady himself; no doubt becoming aware that they were still in a public place and whilst deserted, there were still plenty of ears around, taking in every word.

  “Five years....” he said again, more calmly than before, “five bloody years....”

  Elise sat silently; there was really nothing she could say. Vaughn was still staring at her, almost as if looking at her for the first time. She could see the cogs whirring but she had no idea what he was thinking. Did he despise her now that he knew the truth....think that she was weak? Maybe she was weak, but who was he or anyone else to judge? It was her life and until anyone else lived it exactly as she did, they were in no position to comment on her decisions.

  “Why, Elise?” he asked softly, “Why would you put up with that for five years? God help me but I really don’t understand.” His gaze was imploring, calm now and she felt compelled to offer some kind of explanation.

  “It hasn’t always been bad.” she said. Now was not the time to go into all of the sordid details but she didn’t want Vaughn to think that she had been a complete pushover all of the time.

  “We met at University and at the start it was brilliant - everything I had ever wanted. Dale had a career lined up here and I was more than happy to take on a supporting role. A few years into our marriage, things ....changed.” She hesitated “And since then, Dale has struggled with some aspects of our life. Unfortunately when he drinks, he can take it out on me.”

  She said the last sentence really quietly – it was so hard talking about this stuff, particularly with someone who was a virtual stranger and she felt ashamed to admit to what her life had become.

  Vaughn was still silent; considering, weighing things up and for a moment she saw the shadow of pain cross his features again, as if reliving an unpleasant memory. It was fleeting though and when he turned his eyes onto her again, she saw sympathy in their dark depths.

  He reached across the table again and took her hand.

  “I am really struggling here, Elise; - I just don’t know what to say. Part of me wants to go to that hospital and beat the shit out of your husband – again – and part of me just wants to wrap you up in cotton wool and shower you with roses to show you how you should really be treated.”

  At that Elise burst out laughing surprising both herself and Vaughn.

  “What?? What did I say?”

  “It was the cotton wool and roses thing, that’s pretty much exactly the same thing that Cole said! What it is about men and cotton wool and roses?”

  As if Vaughn had just said the funniest thing on earth, she continued to laugh until she became hysterical and tears were pouring down her cheeks. At first they were tears of laughter but in no time at all they had turned into tears of sorrow and before she knew it, she was sobbing uncontrollably.

  In a coffee shop. In the middle of the night. In front of her boss. Crap.

  Vaughn obviously realised the moment that the tears changed and jumped out of his seat, going around to her side of the booth and sliding in next to her putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her tightly against him.

  She continued to sob into Vaughn’s shirt with endless wracking sobs. She knew she was making a fool of herself but it was like the floodgates had opened and she was powerless to stop it. Clearly opening up to Vaughn, even the few small facts that she had done, must have had some cathartic effect and whilst she had done her fair share of crying in the past, it had never been like this. She felt totally and utterly drained and she had no clue as to how she was ever going to get back to normal again.

  Eventually, the sobs began to ease and Elise became aware of the fact that Vaughn’s shirt was completely soaked. He didn’t appear to notice though and kept her tight to his side, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down her arms and her back, letting her cry it all out.

  She was vaguely aware of him signalling to the waitress and then a warm flannel was pressed onto her face; soothing her, wiping away her tears and she found herself unbelievably grateful for the thoughtfulness of the gesture. In the back of her mind she registered that Dale would never do anything like that for her but she pushed the thought away. Now was not the time for negative contemplations, she wanted to enjoy these last few moments with this man until he sent her on her way and moved onto someone with a lot less baggage – the way that she knew he undoubtedly would.

  Subconsciously she frowned, and Vaughn lifted her chin up and looked deep into her eyes.

  “Hey...” he said soothingly “It’s OK. Look, if it’s OK with you – let’s get out of here.”

  Dully, she nodded – this was it, the moment that he took her back to her car and walked out of her life. He would be kind - of course he would - but he would make his feelings clear and insist that their relationship remain purely professional from now on. Not that she could blame him of course, they had only known each other a matter of days but he had already broken up a fight on her account, been shouted at by her and now she had soaked his shirt with endless pent-up tears. She didn’t know any man that would put up with that type of behaviour - let alone someone as striking and wealthy as this man. He didn’t need her crap in his life and she had no doubt that her little performance just now had cemented that fact for him.

  She dropped her head as they left the coffee shop, unwilling to meet his eyes. Even though she was certain she would see sympathy, that wasn’t what she wanted to see from him. Cole gave her sympathy; he gave her enough sympathy to last a lifetime and for that she was endlessly grateful. That was his role in her life – not necessarily the role that either of them would have chosen, but nonetheless the role that he had taken on.

  This man, this huge powerful man beside her – she didn’t know what she wanted from him but she knew that it wasn’t sympathy. Indeed, she had no right wanting anything from him when she knew she could never give him anything back. But she knew with absolute certainty that she definitely didn’t want him to
leave her life just yet. Absolutely not.

  Chapter Fourteen

  They got back into Vaughn’s car and Elise was surprised to see him turn towards town rather than follow the coast road back to Indigo and her car.

  She looked across at him suspiciously. “Where are we going? My car is back at Indigo.”

  “Don’t worry,” he replied “I’ll drop you back for your car later. I thought we could go to my place, it’s not far from here and I thought you might appreciate the peace and quiet. I also figured you probably didn’t want to be alone right now.”

  Amazed at the intuition of this man she leaned back in her seat, content to let the hum of the engine and the motion of the car lull her and calm her after her outburst. Relief swept over her as she realised that he was not going to push her out of his life just yet and she became aware of just how drained she was. The way that she was feeling now was way beyond anything that she had ever experienced before. It was like she was watching her life unfold in front of her; powerless to control it, stop it or change it. It was unbelievably scary but in many respects it was hugely liberating. For the first time in nearly five years, she allowed herself to hope. Hope that perhaps things could change for the better and that maybe, with this beautiful man at her side, her life could turn around completely.

  Abruptly she stopped her train of thought; she was getting way ahead of herself. Yes, Vaughn desired her - he had said as much - but he really only knew a fraction of her life. He had never mentioned anything other than wanting her and that was always only ever going to be temporary. She was sure that the level of desire they had experienced couldn’t last indefinitely and if she allowed herself to get sucked into his life on that basis, she would have nobody left when it all went wrong. She would have burned her bridges with Dale and she would be left with nothing. She had to remember that. Vaughn was only a band aid; he would never be the cure.