Surrender to Love

by Julia Templeton

  It was all Gray Hawk could do not to plant his fist in the man's face. "Who you calling boy?" Gray Hawk asked, taking the step that separated them until he could smell the strong scent of liquor on the man's stale breath.

  "Are you trying to pick a fight with me, boy?"

  Gray Hawk lifted a brow, but remained silent, holding onto what little patience he had left.

  "I asked you a question."

  "And I've answered it. Now I wish to be left alone."

  "Listen, if you want trouble, you've came to the wrong town."

  "I'm not making trouble. I'm just wanting to go into the saloon and have a beer with my friend."

  The sheriff spit at his feet. "We don't want your kind here."

  Gray Hawk shook his head. What a fool he was to think he would be accepted in this kind of society. He was different from them, not only by looks, but by cultures, and as they saw it, he was beneath them.

  He glanced up to see a crowd had gathered around, obviously anticipating a fight. Women huddled together, their eyes wide with fear, while the men watched him with expectation, as though they knew it would end in a fight.

  A wave of homesickness swept through Gray Hawk.

  He had left his people for this?

  HAVING COMPLETED her shopping early, Jordan crossed the street with the intention of visiting Kari at the dress shop before finding Gray Hawk and heading back to the ranch. She was so excited at the prospect of being with him the whole day, it took her a moment to realize that something was wrong.

  Seeing a crowd forming in the street, Jordan felt a sense of foreboding when she saw Gray Hawk, his tall frame standing head and shoulders above the others. Her pulse skittered. If she wasn't mistaken, the sheriff was with him.

  "He's a breed. Who does he think he is coming here? We don't want his kind," an old gentleman was saying, keeping a safe distance from the ensuing argument.

  Another lady shuddered. "He scares me. He's so, so filthy."

  Murmurs of agreement sounded by the others, then a gasp rang out over the crowd. "Look, the sheriff's going to fight him," another said, excitement lacing his voice. Jordan was horrified to see that Gray Hawk and the sheriff were arguing.

  "They should hang him," one man said as they watched mesmerized.

  "The sheriff's always hated breeds. Once heard his father had a soft spot in his heart for some squaw. I bet he puts a bullet in him."

  Jordan's breath lodged in her throat, finding it hard to believe these people could be so callous. She was close enough to see the lethal expression on Gray Hawk's face, and knew if she didn't do something fast, things could turn deadly.

  Wedging her way through the people, she went to Gray Hawk and took his hand. "Let's go," she said, ignoring the sheriff whose eyes rounded in disbelief.

  "You with this man, Miss?" he asked, his words sounding more like a dare than a question.

  "Yes, I'm with him. Is there a problem?"

  "You work at the Triple T as well...with Miss Hoffman, is that right?"

  Jordan met his gaze unflinchingly. "Yes, we're cousins."

  The sheriff's smile was almost predatory as he stared at her, his gaze slipping down her body in disgust. "Well, I suggest you and your...friend here, head back to the Triple T, where you belong."

  Unable to stand his horrible sneer any longer, Jordan, with Gray Hawk at her side, walked away from the sheriff and onlookers. His fingers were stiff beneath her hand. She could feel his hatred and humiliation.

  "Don't pay any attention to them," she said, squeezing his hand tight. "They don't know anything about you."

  Still, she could hear the gasps and outraged comments of the onlookers, but she didn't care. The only concern she had was for Gray Hawk. "I love you, Gray Hawk," she whispered, not sure if he heard her or not because he didn't respond.

  But a moment later he stopped and looked down at her, his expression full of pain. "You don't have to do this. I can take care of myself." Even though he said the words matter-of-factly, there was pain in his eyes that contradicted his words.

  She cocked a brow and grinned. "Are you saying you're embarrassed to be seen with me?"

  His smile was slow in coming, but devastating when it did. "You know I'm not."

  "Good, now let's get back to the ranch and have that picnic lunch by the pond."

  Gray Hawk swept a wayward curl out of her eyes. Jordan wished people knew this man the way she did. He was compassionate, warm, sincere, and she loved him with all her soul.

  "Injun whore!"

  Jordan flinched as though struck. The word was said with such venomous loathing, she felt it all the way to her bones. She met Gray Hawk's tortured eyes and bit her bottom lip as she turned to her accuser, an older gentleman, who looked to have seen better days. But she didn't have time to respond, because Gray Hawk was in his face before she could blink.

  "You owe the lady an apology," Gray Hawk said, his fury evident by the nerve ticking in his jaw.

  The man was trembling, but he puckered his lips, then spit right in Gray Hawk's face.

  Then to Jordan's horror, all hell broke loose.

  "DAD, SOMETHING'S wrong."

  Shane threw the shovel aside as he followed the direction of Tanner's gaze. Coming over the hill were twenty or more men on horseback, followed by a wagon, and if he wasn't mistaken, there was a person lying in the back.

  "You and Rebecca go inside."

  "But Dad--"

  "Tanner, go," he said, grabbing his hat and running to meet the wagon.

  His heart pounded in his chest the closer they came. He did a head count of his men, wondering which one was injured, or God forbid, dead. In all these years he'd been fortunate not to lose anyone, but he feared his luck had changed when he saw Jordan in the back of the wagon.

  He knew then it had to be Gray Hawk.

  "What happened?" he shouted, as the wagon came to a stop.

  "He was shot," Hank said, anger lacing his words.

  "Shot?"

  "Boss, we were all in the tavern, when we heard this big ol' ruckus outside. That's when we saw Gray being beat up on by a whole group of men. We joined in, but the next thing we know is a shot's fired and Gray hits the ground. Think the sheriff did it, but the weasel says he's innocent and no one is talking."

  "That son of a bitch," Shane said through clenched teeth, helping Jordan down.

  Jordan's face was streaked with tears. Shane took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "It's going to be all right. We'll take care of him. Why don't you go in and have Tanner and Rebecca get the things we need to clean him up."

  She nodded and raced up the stairs.

  Gray Hawk's face was white, his once blue shirt stained red with blood. Shane had seen a man bleed to death before, and he knew the same could easily happen to Gray Hawk. As he helped his men pick him up, he thought back to the day when he had met the half-breed, a man who held a place of honor with his own. Here he'd come to Brogan wanting a chance at a different life, a life he was entitled to and look what the good people of Brogan had done to him.

  "Boss, it was bad. You should have heard the things that they were saying."

  Shane shook his head, disgusted at the people he had come to think of as friends. How dare they make Gray Hawk feel less than human? "What about the doctor?"

  "He's out at the Carter's delivering a baby. Jake is headed there right now to tell him," Hank said, wincing under Gray Hawk's weight.

  "We'll just have to do the best we can until he gets here. I'm glad you were all there to help. I'm proud that you stood up for him," Shane said, as they lay Gray Hawk on Shane's bed since it was the closest at hand. Shane closed the door and sat for a while at Gray Hawk's side as Jordan cleaned the wound as best she could. Gray Hawk opened his eyes once, his gaze fixing on Jordan before closing again.

  "I'm so sorry," she whispered, taking Gray Hawk's hand in hers and bringing it to her lips.

  Shane watched the unspoken emotions pass between the two. It had b
een obvious from the first time he'd met them that the two fancied each other, and now their feelings were out in the open for all to see. He respected Gray Hawk for facing people's hatred, yet he wished with all his heart he'd been there to help.

  "Gray, who shot you?" he asked, not wanting to lose the only chance he may have at finding the killer, just in case the worst happened and he died from his wounds.

  "The sheriff," he said, his voice weak and strained.

  Shane nodded. The fury he felt making him shake with rage. "You hang in there, buddy. The doctor will be here soon."

  Knowing Gray Hawk was in good hands, Shane patted Jordan's shoulder, went to his study, grabbed the rifle off the wall, shoved his pistol in the waist of his pants, and walked out the front door to the stables.

  "Boss, where you going?" Hank asked, following close on his heels.

  "To town."

  "Not without us, you're not."

  Shane turned to his foreman and put a firm hand on his shoulder. "I appreciate the offer, but this day has been a long time coming. Plus, I want you here protecting the children and the ranch just in case we have some unexpected visitors."

  Hank nodded. "Okay, if you're sure."

  "I'm sure."

  "Good luck."

  Shane's adrenaline raced through his body as he pushed his horse at a dangerous clip toward Brogan. How dare that arrogant son of bitch gang up on one of his own?

  He had never got along with the wiry sheriff ever since they had both dated Rose, a woman who hadn't returned the sheriff's favor if she were to tell it. Whether the sheriff was angry about being jilted by a woman that neither one of them ended up with, it made no difference to Shane. There was nothing the man could say or do to make up for having shot Gray Hawk. And now Shane was resolved that he wouldn't get away with it.

  As he rode into Brogan, people literally ran out of his way. Jumping off his horse while it was still in motion, he stormed into the sheriff's office only to find it empty, save for a drunk, who cursed at him and used his hands to shield the blinding sun from his eyes.

  Having checked a few nearby establishments, Shane came to the conclusion that Kincaide had conveniently left town. In an effort to control his anger, Shane lit a cigarette. He saw a few townspeople watching him from nearby businesses, and he met their stares, daring them to say something to him.

  He thought these were good people. God loving men and women who were beyond bigotry. From what he'd heard from his men, they hadn't given Gray Hawk a chance. They had judged on looks alone, not bothering to get to know the man behind the dark hair and gray eyes. He inhaled deeply of the smoke, blowing it out above his head as he shifted on his feet, wondering when the yellow-bellied sheriff would be returning.

  The minutes ticked away, his temper died down, and his gaze kept straying to the dressmaker's shop across the street. So far he hadn't seen Kari, and up to this point, hadn't thought too much about her.

  Before he knew what he was about, he was walking toward the dress shop in determined strides. Hesitating at the door, he took a deep breath, when the door was opened from the other side and Mrs. Craven welcomed him with a concerned smile. "Shane, we have only just heard--is your man all right?"

  Removing his hat, he threaded his fingers through his hair, just as the back door opened and Kari came out, her face ashen and streaked with tears. "Shane, is he all right? I only just heard. I cannot believe it was Gray Hawk who was shot. A passerby said it was a drifter, and I just never imagined for a moment...if I had known it was him, I would have...how is Jordan...Mrs. Craven, I know that my cousin must need me."

  Shane's heart lurched as tears streamed down Kari's cheeks, and she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

  "Of course, dear. Go, your cousin and Gray Hawk need you far worse than I do."

  "Thank you," Shane said, holding his arm out to Kari. She quickly took it, and he could feel her trembling.

  When they were out of the store, she turned to him. "Tell me the truth, Shane. Will he live?"

  She was watching him intently. He wanted so desperately to take away her pain and reassure her, knowing that she must be reliving the death of her husband. Gray Hawk had been a big part of her life since she had become a widow. He nodded. "I'm sure he will. He lost some blood, but God willing, the bullet will have missed any vital organs."

  Glancing at the empty sheriff's office they passed by, Shane told himself there would be another time to deal with the sheriff.

  Chapter 19

  GRAY HAWK woke to a horrible ache in his left side. Trying to sit up, he sucked in a breath when another pain shot through him. Grimacing, he lay back against the pillows and opened his eyes slowly. Sunlight streamed through the open window, along with a cool breeze. He turned his head, and seeing Jordan asleep in a chair, he smiled.

  It all came back to him: The sheriff, the townspeople, the crude names they had called Jordan, and then the searing pain as a bullet ripped through his side. For as long as he lived, he would never forget the look in the sheriff's eyes. The man had taken great pleasure inshooting him.

  He just vaguely remembered Jordan crying out, coming to his side, holding his head in her lap as she smoothed his hair back off his forehead. Her voice had been strong for the both of them, telling him everything would be all right, despite the horrible taunts being yelled at her as she tried to comfort him.

  But everything wasn't all right. He would recover from the gunshot. He'd been shot once before, so he knew the wound would heal, but it wouldn't be so easy to heal the wounds of his heart. The truth of the matter was he didn't belong here, and he never really would. For all that he had tried to become one of them, he wasn't--nor would he ever be. He wasn't white enough.

  "Gray Hawk."

  Jordan went to her knees beside the bed, and taking his hand within her own, she brought it to her lips. "I'm so glad you're awake. How do you feel?"

  "I'm sore, but I'll be fine."

  Her shoulders sagged with relief. "Do you remember what happened?"

  He ran the backs of his fingers against her soft cheek. She looked so tired, so worried. "Yes, I remember how you stood up for me against all those people. You're a very brave woman."

  "I love you."

  Gray Hawk's breath lodged in his throat as he stared at her, watching the emotions flash across her face. He remembered her vaguely telling him that she loved him before, but now as she watched him so expectantly, he opened his mouth, but was unable to say the words, and not because he didn't feel them, but because he feared them. How many times had he loved, only to be hurt in the end?

  He pulled her to him, kissing her softly, loving the feel of her. Though she tried to hide her disappointment, he could clearly see it in her eyes, and he knew she waited for him to profess his love to her.

  As the silence lengthened, she pulled away, embarrassed. "Do you want something to eat?"

  "No, I don't think so. Maybe in a little bit."

  That seemed to satisfy her. Running her fingers down his arm, she pressed her lips together.

  "How long have I been laying here?"

  "About six days."

  "Six days?" he said, sitting up, ignoring the pain that stabbed at his side. "I can't believe it."

  "Well, believe it. And lay back down," she said, pushing him back into the pillows. "Thanks in large part to the laudanum."

  He didn't fight her, but instead pulled her into his arms. "Gray Hawk, your side--"

  "Is fine. I want to feel you, smell you, taste you."

  She opened her mouth to protest, but he quickly kissed her, reveling in the feel of her silky tongue against his own. As she moaned and pressed her breasts against his chest, he groaned wanting so much more than just her kiss.

  "Are you all right?" she asked against his lips.

  "Yes, except I want you."

  Gray Hawk lifted a brow as her gaze moved down the length of his body to the part of him that strained against the sheets. "I can see you're really hurting?
"

  "I want you," he repeated.

  "Well, you'll have to wait," she said with a sigh.

  He pretended to look hurt as she stood up and yanked the sheet up to his neck. "You need your sleep. And when you are well, then we will talk about--that." Her cheeks turned pink and there was a twinkle in her eye as she walked to the door. "I'll get you some Laudanum to help you sleep."

  "I don't need any--"

  "Don't argue with the nurse."

  Standing there with hands on hips, looking beautiful as well as stubborn, he wasn't about to argue. "All right, nurse, I'll do anything you say. Just as long as you come back."

  "Just try and keep me away," she said, then with a quick smile, she closed the door behind her.

  But his grin quickly faded as he thought about what would happen next. A man shot him for no reason other than the fact he didn't like the color of his skin. The whole idea was absurd, yet from what he knew of whites thus far in his life, he shouldn't be surprised.

  And now Jordan was part of the problem. Here she had come to Brogan to start a new life, and he had shown up and ruined everything. It had probably been just fine for her until he'd come. But now she would no longer be accepted by the townspeople. She would be shunned, labeled a whore, for no other reason than loving him.

  Should he leave and go back to his people? He closed his eyes knowing that leaving Jordan would be the hardest thing he'd ever done. Because of her love for him she would suffer far worse then he ever had. He heard the names they yelled as they walked down the street together. Squaw, Injun lover, whore. And she faced them all with her head held high, not once letting his hand go.

  Should he leave and hope she would be all right?

  It wasn't a decision he wanted to make, but one that he must make--and soon.

  TWO WEEKS after the day he'd been shot, Gray Hawk lay beside Jordan, his arms crossed beneath his head, looking as though he didn't have a care in the world.

  She was so grateful to still have him with her, knowing how close she'd come to losing him forever. He had been up and around for a few days, and though she was reluctant to come to their place by the pond, she was glad when he insisted.