by Nhys Glover
I looked up and saw realisation dawn on Laric’s handsome features. He hadn’t reached me in time. The blade had already cut too deep, and all he’d done was change its trajectory. Instead of going deeper until it reached my heart, it had cut a searing path across my back.
Legs, which moments before had held me up strongly, suddenly turned to water. Had the water mages hit me again? I couldn’t see any more water, though my clothes and hair were dripping from their repeated attacks.
The ground came up to meet me, all mud and wet grass, and it felt as if the world had gone mad. The ground couldn’t move. My body should have been doing the moving. And yet it seemed the very opposite was happening.
All these crazy, disconnected impressions passed through my head as I watched the world dim around me.
Until I saw no more.
I came to, sometime later, to find myself laying in Zem’s arms with Landor leaning over me. Prior and Laric, bloody and soaking wet, hovered close by.
“There she is,” Prior said with satisfaction, a big smile breaking out on his dark face.
“W... What happened?” I croaked out. My voice sounded weird, my mouth as dry as a desert. Laric leaned in with a small flask of watered wine, and I swallowed it down thirstily. Grateful for the liquid, even when we seemed to have been drowning in water not long ago.
“You lost focus during the battle and left your back unprotected,” Laric informed me knowledgably. “An amateur mistake. Luckily, I was nearby and was able to deflect the blow enough that it wasn’t a death thrust.”
I bristled indignantly, not willing to admit that he was right. But the way that priest had been cut down by my sword, like a hot knife passing through butter, had been too bizarre for words. It was as if he was only partially there. As if he was part wraith, part living-breathing man.
But it took too much energy to ponder. I ached all over. Like I’d been run over by a galloping beastling. I didn’t think that had happened. But who knew what had occurred when I lost consciousness.
“I have managed to heal your main wounds, Flame,” Landor told me, stroking my arm gently. “The knife severed your spine and the muscles around it.”
“Flea. My name is Flea,” I said, bemused by the name he’d called me. Surely he knew me well enough by now to remember my name.
“No, a flea is an annoying little insect. You are not that. You are a brightly burning flame, a fiery-haired warrior-woman. After seeing you fight today, I cannot in good conscience call you that insulting name any longer,” Landor announced, as if he had a say in what I called myself.
Yet Flea was a name I gave myself when I was hiding from the world, afraid and alone, unable and unwilling to be a girl any longer. Fellica died the day Airshin raped me. Flea was born from her ashes. Now Landor was pointing out something that had long been true. My name no longer suited me. It hadn’t for two suns or more. As Rama had said, I was no longer that annoying conster who had lied her way into their lives.
I was someone different.
But a flame? Did that fit any better? Certainly, my hair was bright enough to be called fiery. And I had a hot temper. But I was air, not fire.
Wasn’t I?
It was too much to think about. I was too tired.
“Flea, you have to wake up. We have to be away from here. Who knows when more of those bastards will turn up,” Zem said, giving my head and shoulders a little shake.
“You still think I’m an annoying little conster?” I mumbled, not fully awake.
“There’ll be time to discuss your name later. Now we have to go. Come on, rouse yourself. We have to get back to the palace!”
I did rouse myself then. It took more energy than I thought I had, but I was up and on my feet, staring dumbfounded at the carnage surrounding us. Everywhere I looked there were indigo silk robes covering bodies that were already dissolving away, as if they were thousands of suns old. Skeletons couldn’t dissolve like that.
Could they?
Zem helped me over to where Spot sat patiently waiting for me. I remembered how he and the rest of our brave airlings had aided in the fight, plucking men from beastlings and tossing them back to earth from high above. We couldn’t have won without them.
I certainly hadn’t been much use. Laric would likely have more to say on my poor performance later.
Yet who wouldn’t have been put off by how easily the sword had cut that man in two? My blade wasn’t that sharp. My strength wasn’t that great. I shouldn’t have been able to do it!
After a brief hello rub, I let Zem and Prior push me inelegantly up onto Spot’s back.
“Is she going to stay conscious? It’s a long way down from up there,” Prior rumbled worriedly.
“I’ll make sure she can’t fall.” Zem answered. I felt the leather belt of my scabbard being wrapped around me, but not over my shoulder where it should go. Instead, it went around my waist and over Spot’s horns. “It will put Spot off balance if she loses consciousness and flops to one side, but at least she’ll stay on long enough for Spot to get her down.”
“I’m fine. Really, I’m fine. This little flame isn’t going out any time soon,” I mumbled like a drunken sailor.
Someone laughed nearby, a nice laugh that made me smile. We needed to laugh more. Our lives were way too serious.
“What is in that healing light of yours? She is off her head,” someone said. Healing light? I didn’t have any healing light. That was Landor. He was lovely and godlike when his hands glowed.
“Thank you, sweet Flame, but I am no more god than monster, it seems.”
Had I spoken aloud? I didn’t remember speaking aloud. But Zem was closing my hands over the horns in front of me and telling me to hold on. No matter what, hold on, he said.
I nodded obediently and held on.
And in what felt like no time at all, Spot was coming in to land again. Had I lost consciousness and she was forced to land? I didn’t feel up to fighting any more blue-robed priests—who dissolved and were insubstantial—right now.
The leather strap was released and Zem had me in his strong arms. I laid my head against his shoulder and sighed happily. “Are we home?”
“Aye, Love, we’re home. You stayed awake all the way. Well done.”
“I don’t remember staying awake. I don’t remember anything but those half-men.”
“Half-men?” Zem asked, though he didn’t seem too invested in the conversation I considered very important.
“Aye, they were not all there. Like only half the building blocks that make a man a man were there. That’s why I could slice through him. That’s why they were melting into nothingness. They were only half there...”
“Interesting. But enough worrying about the Devourers. I want you to sleep and recover your strength. Can you do that for me?”
I nodded, breathing in his oh-so-familiar scent. Thank the Goddess he didn’t lose focus and get stabbed in the back. Thank the Goddess it was me.
“No, it isn’t good that it was you. We all lost focus when you fell. We thought you’d died.” His voice sounded unusually gravelly. “Landor nearly got himself killed trying to get to you and start the healing spell. The rest of us had to keep the priests from sticking him with daggers while he did so.”
I hadn’t really heard past the first part. “Never lose me. Stuck with me.”
He gave a little laugh, and again I smiled. We need more laughter.
“Sleep, Love. Go to sleep. You are safe now.”
I knew that. I was always safe with Zem.
And that’s when I let the darkness claim me. On one, long, contented sigh.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I came awake to the sound of low-timbred voices talking. Curious, I kept my eyes closed and feigned sleep.
“I like the name you have given her,” one said. Prior? It sounded like Prior.
“Yes. I overstepped by doing such a thing, but I could not stand to hear her called that name any longer. Certainly not by me.” Tha
t smooth, deep and husky voice would definitely have told me the speaker was Landor, even if his words hadn’t given away his identity.
I couldn’t read either of their minds. It was become infuriating, being kept out of their heads. How was I to know for sure what any of them thought of me if I couldn’t read their minds?
“I remember the first time I saw her. Sliding around the meeting room, trying to remain inconspicuous. She was as inconspicuous as a bright flame in a dark room. And I was mesmerised by her. Or him. I thought her a lad because of the way she dressed.
“The brother to the right of me nudged my side when he saw how my eyes kept returning to her. He teased me for a few moments about my interest in a lad. I denied it, of course. Then he let me off the hook by saying she was a lass and an Air Mistress. Neither of us had ever heard of such a thing. I thought... she’s fire not air. The fire in my blood seemed to be called by hers. I was so scared I would hurt her that I could not get away fast enough. I lied about why I did not join the rebels. It would have been too tempting to be around her if I had.” Prior sounded sad. When he’d reminded me where we had seen each other before he’d made his lust for me seem more ordinary. Now it felt like more. As if his life-direction had been changed because of one chance meeting with me. It made no sense.
“You care for her.” It wasn’t a question but a statement.
“I do. What good it does me. The Goddess has a cruel sense of humour bringing me back to her. Tempting me with what I cannot have.”
“You are not alone in being tempted by her. Nor in being frustrated. None but Zem has made her his. He struggles with the Goddess’ Will in this.”
“If she were mine, and I was told I had to share her... I would struggle too.”
“And yet you would think nothing of taking more than one wife if you could?” Landor sounded curious, as he always seemed to be when exploring human interactions. Yet again I had to wonder what it must have been like to live as he’d done all his life.
“A man can love more than one woman. We are designed to do so.”
“So you were trained to believe?”
After a moment of silence Prior sighed. “Just so. And mayhap my own experiences supported that belief. I loved a lass long ago, and yet I am coming to love this one now too. If Liia had lived, would I still feel what I do for this little flame? I think so. Which means a man can have room in his heart for more than one woman.”
“Mayhap anyone’s heart has room for more than one love. Mayhap it is only convenience that keeps us in single relationships.”
“Convenience?”
Landor was silent for a moment, and he stroked my forehead as he seemed to consider his next words. “It is reasonably easy for one man and one woman to find each other and form a bond that allows them to link their lives together and follow one path. But as individuals they have different needs, I think. It would be a challenge to meet those different needs at times.
“It seems to me that the more people you introduce into a relationship, the more needs there are to consider, and the harder it would be to find one path for all of them to follow. So it is easier to keep it simple. More convenient and easy. Two people following one path that meets as many of their needs as possible is the most convenient life choice.
“Except for people who have a defined and important path laid out for them. Like mages. All those with lesser paths might be drawn to that greater path. Like a soldier who gives up his own life for the good of his kinglund; for the greater good.”
The room fell into silence for a long time. So long, in fact, I started to wonder if they were still there. I couldn’t tell by their thoughts, that was for sure.
“So Flame has the defined and important path and we are drawn from our own paths to hers... for the greater good.”
“And for love. I think duty only goes so far. Love goes much farther.”
“I cannot love her as my blood calls me to do. That path ends in fire and death.”
“That is your path, not hers. Mayhap when you love her enough to follow her path the end will be different. For now... do as I do. Love her. Protect her. And enjoy every moment you have beside her fire. I know my cold heart was warmed from the moment she lit up my world.”
It felt like they were talking about someone else, not me. I wasn’t one of those girls that men went out of their way to win. There was nothing special about me. Yet the way these two very special men were talking, it seemed as if to them I was special. Special enough to choose my path over their own.
I heard the door open and shut as I pondered this revelation. I had no idea what to do with it.
“You can open your eyes now, Flame. Prior is gone and our private conversation is at an end,” Landor said dryly.
I opened one eye to peer up at him. He was smirking down at me from his place beside the bed.
“If you knew, why did you let me hear all that?” I asked, sitting up and stretching my stiff muscles. Remarkably, I felt no worse than I would the day after a rigorous training session.
“Because you need to know how we feel about you. Men do not always say what they feel, if what I have read is true.”
“Normally, I could get around that by reading their minds. And I could read you, Zem and Prior up until recently. It’s like I’m losing my power.”
Landor leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I am glad to see you so well. When I realised your spine was severed... I doubted my ability to heal it. But you seem well enough now. And you are not losing your power.”
He’d returned to his seat as he’d spoken. So it was my turn to lean over... and kiss his lips tenderly. “Thank you. You saved my life.”
He blushed then and looked away. “I was not the one to turn that blade from its course. Had that dagger’s point reached your heart I know I could not have saved you. So it is Laric you should thank.”
“And groundlings should fly,” I scoffed.
I returned to that nugget of information hidden in the warm feelings of gratitude. “Why don’t you think I’m losing my power?”
Landor took his full bottom lip between white teeth and bit down so hard the flesh blossomed red. Though he didn’t break the skin.
‘I think we all have ways to shield our thoughts... our innermost thoughts... even in our own minds. Zem can do it consciously, he tells me. But I did it unconsciously. I still do it around you, I think. It is like what I said. Men do not like to share their feelings. So, even when they are thinking about their feelings, they can lock some of it away, even from themselves.’
It took me a moment to realise that Landor hadn’t said a word of this out loud. I laughed.
‘Oh, this would be so much more fun if it went both ways,’ I thought cheekily. ‘You might see how much I want to take your cock in my mouth. I’ve wanted to do that ever since you told me that girl giggled while she did that to you. I have never done that with Zem. I gather men enjoy it.’
I smiled smugly at Landor, knowing my thoughts were safe.
“My cock is at your disposal any time,” he said aloud, watching as the heat flooded up my neck and into my cheeks. I think it might even have gone as far as the tips of my ears.
“How?” I got out through numbed lips.
Landor shrugged and sniggered. Seriously, he sniggered at me!
I hit him on the arm, hard. That stopped him.
“I imagine it is part of the bond being forged. I heard you when you came around after I healed you. And I wasn’t the only one. You were talking but not always with your mouth.”
I flashed back to thinking him a god when he used his magic. And he’d answered me. I’d thought I was so out of it that I’d spoken aloud without realising it.
Now he was telling me I was broadcasting my thoughts to everyone! Gods! That was... awful!
Landor shrugged. ‘A moment ago you were thinking it would be good. Now it is awful?’
“Stop doing that! It’s an invasion of privacy!” I demanded hypocritically. I knew I
was being a hypocrite, even as I spoke those words. I was allowed to read minds, others were not allowed to read mine!
Landor laughed at my huffy offended words. “You have a lot to learn about relationships, Flame. I am going to enjoy watching you do it.”
“You are so arrogant and self-opinionated,” I snapped, losing my temper fully. “First, you give me a new name because you think my old one’s not good enough anymore, and now you tell me I have a lot to learn. What about you! You’ve lived in the dark for twenty-five suns! I think you have a lot more to learn than I do!”
Landor’s face lost a lot of its amusement then, and I saw a flash of pain cross his palely handsome features. I was instantly sorry for striking out at him like that. It was a low blow!
I leaned in and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, nuzzling in to his neck with my nose and cheek. “Sorry... so sorry...”
In the next instant, we were kissing. Not some grateful, tender little kiss, but one filled with longing and passion. Landor pushed me back, so I sprawled on the bed, and came after me. That’s when I realised I was naked and had been talking all this time with only a sheet covering me... and not all of me. How had Landor kept that from his thoughts?!
But I didn’t care. All I cared about right then was feeling his hands on my skin. On my breasts and... lower. I suddenly felt empty and knew only one way to be filled.
He broke from the kiss and began burning a path with his mouth and tongue down my neck and chest, until he found and latched onto one nipple. His big hand cupped the other breast and squeezed it gently but urgently. I cried out as a flame of pure arousal shot down from breast to core.
I had wanted him for so long. Needed him for so long. How was it possible that this glorious man wanted me in return? Was it the Goddess who made this happen? Was it her Will?
That pulled me up. And I broke out of Landor’s arms. He stared at me with pain in his pale blue eyes. Did they seem bluer than they had been? No, not possible.
“It is not the Goddess making me feel like this, Flame,” Landor said in a raspy voice, his expression troubled and so very vulnerable. “You have been part of my soul for as long as I can remember. It was not until I was at my lowest ebb, and I saw you coming toward me in my dark world, that I recognised you, though. But I know now that you have always been part of me.”
