by Jean Oram
Everything had suddenly gone nuts on her and stressing out about whether Todd wanted forever or not sure didn’t help things. She needed to chill. Go with the flow.
She let out a soothing deep breath and began checking things off her to-do list.
Everyone had a name tag? Check.
Everyone had a team? Check.
Everyone had munchies and drinks? Check.
Everyone happy?
Happy enough. She eyed the clock on the wall above the door. It was time to start.
She double-checked her phone for messages from Todd. Nothing.
No stressing. Smile. Have fun.
Moe, the bartender, came by. “Got the song sheet?”
She handed him a printout. “You sure you can manage the teams and work the bar?” She didn’t release the sheet even when he tugged on it. The top song on the list made her think of Todd. Australia. Singing wild and free in a Sydney pub. They’d won a jug of beer not because of their harmony—they’d sucked—but because of their enthusiasm.
Moe gave the sheet a gentle yank and, snapping to the present, Nicola released it with an apology.
“Amy came in to help, so we’ve got everything covered.” He shot her a grin. “They don’t call me Moe for nothing.”
She stared at him blankly.
“Middle of Everything. Real name’s Rodney.”
“Huh.” He didn’t look like a Rodney, with his scruffy haircut and wrinkled button-up. “Well, okay. But let me know if you need anything.”
He grinned at her again. “I won’t.”
She frowned after him as he went to set himself up on the foot-high stage. Settling herself at the bar, she felt some of the pressure lift. Moe would do fine up there, freeing her up for on-the-floor troubleshooting and hobnobbing.
“Nervous about tonight?” Amy asked, her long-sleeved cotton shirt pushed up over her forearms, revealing a small tattoo.
Nicola held her thumb and index finger a fraction apart. “A bit.”
“Want something to drink?”
“Do you have lemonade?” A tall, cold glass of lemonade sounded divine.
Amy passed one across the bar. “On the house.”
“Thanks.”
Amy went down the bar to help a customer and Nicola was left to twirl her sweaty glass of juice on the counter and stress about her boyfriend.
This whole promise to herself not to stress wasn’t working out so well.
“How’s it going?” Mandy asked, scooting onto a stool beside her. “Why is Moe up there? I thought it would be you or Todd.”
“Moe wanted to do it.”
“And?” Mandy picked on everything, didn’t she?
“And nothing.”
Mandy waved down Amy to get herself a whiskey and Coke. “Well, he’ll be awesome at running the show.”
“So would I,” said a familiar voice behind them.
It was Devon.
“I thought you were one of tonight’s contestants, customers or whatever I’m supposed to call you.” Nicola looked at her clipboard. Sure enough, there he was. Name not crossed out. “You’re late.”
He winked. “Fashionably so.” He strode past them, joining Moe on the small platform that made do as a stage. He took the mike. “Hey, everyone. Can I hear a ‘Woot! Woot!’ for Nicola—our organizer?”
Nicola smiled as the crowd hooted and relaxed. Exactly what the night needed.
“Your brother, as much of a pain in the butt he is sometimes, is a real sweetie,” she said to Mandy.
Her friend was staring at him, eyes narrowed as he got the night going. “He’s up to something.”
Nicola glanced at the man in question. He was at ease in front of the crowd, chatting up the audience, using her weird-facts cards to warm them up. Tallest peak in North America? That one had been for Todd.
The crowd was getting into it and Moe began jockeying for the mike.
“Give it up for Moe!” Devon called. “Isn’t he fabulous? And ladies…” he lowered his voice to a tantalizing level “…he’s single.” He held a hand over the mike while asking loudly enough that everyone could hear, “You are single, right?”
Moe nodded, cheeks slightly pink, but his grin growing. Nicola noted his gaze drifted over the heads of the amused participants and toward the bar, where Amy was filling a pitcher with pale ale.
Devon repeated into the mike, “He’s single!”
“He’s going to start pairing people up, isn’t he?” Nicola asked.
“It’s looking likely,” Mandy replied.
“Think he’ll ever find someone?”
Mandy shrugged thoughtfully as she sipped her drink.
Devon pretended to auction Moe off to the highest bidder, billing him as the best catch in Blueberry Springs due to the way he kept the pub so neat and clean. Before long he had everyone laughing and off-the-wall bids rolling in. Nicola turned away so she wouldn’t interfere or try to take over, reminding herself that while his approach was unorthodox, the two of them were doing a fine job with the crowd—and that was the point of the night. Get everyone relaxed, show them a good time and make sure they met others so they’d be more likely to stay in Blueberry Springs.
“Where’s Todd?” Mandy asked.
“Working.” She checked the clock again. “What do you think about keeping the farmers’ market going throughout the year?” Not really something to add to the town’s social life, but it would be one more event to liven up the weekends.
“That might be good.”
Devon came over, squeezing his way between them.
“I thought you were helping Moe?” Nicola raised a brow at him like a mother would.
“He’s got it under control for the time being.” He placed an order, then, leaning on one elbow, turned to her. “I thought Todd was coming?”
“His flight must have been delayed,” she said, scanning the pub for any potential problems she might need to address. There were none.
Darn her being perfectly planned, and the men helping to execute it all with flawless precision.
“And he can’t call?” Devon asked.
“Hey! Offside. He’s probably in flight.” She took a sip of her juice, muttering into the glass, “Or something.”
“Did you tell him you want kids or something? Is that what this is about?” Devon lifted a lock of her hair and she batted him away, while trying to ignore Mandy’s intrigued glance. “He’s running away like you predicted?”
“I’m not a needy, clingy girlfriend. He said he’d be here, he’ll be here.”
“I think you should give him a taste of his own medicine.”
“Yeah? And what’s that? Working? Because that’s what I’m doing right now.”
“Hang out with other men and be unavailable when he needs you. See how that smarts.”
“I am hanging out with other men. Unfortunately, they tend to act more like boys.” She gave him a pointed look.
“Can you believe she said that?” Devon asked over his shoulder, trying to get his sister to side with him.
“We’re all thinking it. She’s just saying it,” Mandy retorted.
“Trust me. He’ll be begging you for a real relationship just to ensure you remain all his. He’ll want kids and everything.”
“It is a real relationship. And maybe he wants kids. We haven’t talked about it because we’ve only been dating for a few weeks. It’s a little early to be talking about happily-ever-after, you know.”
“Men don’t like to share,” Devon said, ignoring her argument. He flashed her a wicked smile. “So if you need someone to help you with a little jealousy, you know where to find me.”
“Devon,” she said, not bothering to hide her exasperation. “I’m not playing games or going to manipulate him. We’re doing just fine the way we are.”
“All right then. Enjoy playing second fiddle.”
“Second fiddle to what?”
“His fear of commitment.”
“I don’t
think I like you anymore.” She shoved him out of the crook he’d wedged himself into. He smiled, unfazed, taking his drink back to the podium.
“Ignore him,” Mandy said. “He’s perpetually single for a reason.”
Nicola rubbed the spot where her ribs met. The man had a way of poking at all her insecurities and vulnerabilities.
She shook her head. All she had to do was remind herself that Todd respected her. She’d told him their relationship would mean something to her if they proceeded. And they had. That meant he had a good grip on his fear of commitment and was well on his way to overcoming it once and for all.
Problem solved.
She smiled and turned to Mandy who asked, “Have you tried calling Todd?”
Her smile faltered. “He’s probably stuck at the gate or in traffic or something.”
And unable to text her? Probably not. What did that mean?
“When was he supposed to arrive?”
“Two hours ago.”
“I’d call.”
“It won’t look desperate or needy?”
“He’s two hours late. Legit concern, girl.”
Nicola whipped out her phone as horrifying images of car and plane crashes sifted through her mind like a high-speed slide show. She just about lost the device over the bar as it slid from her grip.
Mandy laughed. “Whoa. Slow it down. That is needy and desperate.”
Nicola gave her a sheepish look, checking the vacant doorway once again for Todd. She dialed his number and held her breath.
Light. Breezy. Not needy.
Right. She could do that.
Not panicked.
Cool. Calm.
“Hello?” He sounded groggy.
“What airport are you in? Are you okay?”
“What time is it?” She heard him yawn. “I must have fallen asleep when I was repacking to come see you.”
“Is he okay?” Mandy mouthed.
Nicola nodded as the adrenaline left her system. She felt torn. If he was exhausted, he should stay home. But she hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever and she missed him.
“You sound tired.”
“I’m bagged. I didn’t sleep on the plane and had to go straight into meetings.”
“You’re going to need to get over the whole sleeping pill thing you have if you’re going to keep traveling for work.”
“I know. I’m heading out again in a few days. Cuba. Man, we loved Cuba, didn’t we?”
“What? Cuba?” He was going somewhere cool without her. Sure, it was for work, but she still didn’t know how it made her feel.
Left behind. That was it.
“I wonder if that street vendor with the hats is still there.”
“It’s been a while.”
“Yeah.” He perked up a bit. “But you know it’s kinda cool not having to pay for flights and staying in hotels and everything.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“About a week and a half. Depends how the meetings go.”
“They’re sending you out a lot lately.” And farther and farther each time.
“They always have but I’m getting the international ones now.”
“How come?”
“I’ve proven myself, I guess, and because I’m practically the only single employee.”
The word hit her like a slap. “Single?”
“You know what I mean. Everyone’s married and all that. Going away’s tough for them.”
“Right.” It felt like someone had stuck her entire body in ice.
“Babies. Commitments.” He yawned again.
Didn’t they have a commitment? He knew their relationship meant something to her even though she’d told him they’d take it as it came. She’d said “I love you.” That changed things. That implied devotion to their relationship.
“We’re lucky we understand each other’s needs,” he said, his voice warm with affection. “We’re living life and looking for the next adventure. We’re happy and there’s nobody quite like us, Nic.”
“Yeah,” she said listlessly. The problem was, she wasn’t sure he did understand her needs. And more and more, she wanted to be like everyone else, and she needed to be with someone who thought that being with her was adventure enough. Someone who believed in commitment and devotion.
* * *
She’d been cool, understanding, caring. And she’d told him to stay home and rest up. They had to work in the morning, anyway. Well, he didn’t. He got the day off as a travel bonus, but she didn’t.
She’d managed to smile and keep her chin up.
Single.
Yeah, she’d slipped into the bathroom to have a good cry after that. All the while, through the bathroom walls, hearing Devon and Moe call out random facts that brought back memories of the trips she’d taken with Todd.
Tiananmen Square is one of the world’s top ten largest squares. It’s named after the Gate of Peace, which is located to its north—a gate that separates it from the Forbidden City.
China. Went there with Todd. Stood where the man stopped the tank.
The Mona Lisa is the most parodied piece of artwork.
The Louvre. They’d stared at it through its Plexiglas protective cover and marveled at how small it seemed in real life.
Queen of the screen, American movie star Grace Kelly, became a princess when she married the prince of Monaco in the 1950s, thus retiring from Hollywood to take on royal duties.
Monaco. Beautiful Monaco. Where they’d walked the beaches for hours. Taken a moped up the curvy cliffside roads, holding each other as they screamed through the turns.
She didn’t live large like that anymore, did she?
Nicola straightened suddenly. She’d changed, yes. But she was still out having fun and making adventures. They weren’t as massively grand, but they were just as memorable, just as important—and especially now because she was creating them for others. Whether it was a hike or a night like this, she was the one making it happen. If Todd couldn’t handle that, then it was his problem. She was happy here. Satisfied. But mark her words, she would not be sitting at home when he called her up in the morning to see if she was free. She did not sit at home and wait.
Not for anyone.
She dabbed at her eyes and rejoined the crowd in the pub. It was time to stop worrying and start living.
“Nicola!” Devon called from across the bar.
“What’s up?” she asked when she reached him.
“I’m going to go try the new zip-line over in Derbyshire tomorrow after work—although I might cut out early. I have a two-for-one coupon. Want to come?”
She’d zip-lined before. However, it had been in a thick jungle where she hadn’t been able to see the ground to figure out how high up she was so she could freak out. Not like here in the mountains. She was pretty sure she’d be able to see exactly how high she was. Exhilarating. Terrifying.
“Only fifty feet up,” he said, as though reading her mind.
“I thought it went over a canyon?”
“Except where it goes over the canyon.”
She gave him a look.
“Close your eyes.” He waved a hand dismissively. “Or don’t come. Whatever. But it has your name all over it.”
“The view would be undoubtedly awesome.” She sat beside him, torn. Could she push herself that far out of her comfort zone and let herself glide along a wire strung way up in the air? She’d managed to do it before. She could do it again. Plus, it would be a perfect way to ensure she was out of the house after work and not waiting for Todd to call.
Because maybe Devon was right. Maybe Todd needed a small taste of his own freewheeling medicine and realize that she had a life too, and that if he wanted to be a part of her new adventures he needed to make a commitment. He couldn’t have his almost-exact old life as well as her.
“Okay. I’m in.”
“Yeah?” Devon seemed surprised.
“Yeah. It’s a date.”
“A
date?” He leaned back on his stool, looking wary.
“Not like that, you scaredy cat.”
His posture relaxed. “Awesome. I’ll pick you up from work at three-thirty.”
There. Not boring. An adventure. An exciting life.
The event was slowly wrapping up and she started to tidy, taking down signs, chatting with participants as they hung out. Her phone rang as she finished her tasks. She expected it to be Jill, who was down with the stomach bug and feeling guilty for not helping, and had been calling hourly to get updates.
“Hello?”
“Nicola, hey.”
It was a warm, smooth voice that made her whole body awaken.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?” She hated the jolt of hope running through her at Todd’s voice.
“I was thinking about you.”
“For the past three hours?” He could have driven out here in that amount of time. They could have hung out, he could spend the night, then head back into the city in the morning.
“Well, I slept a bit. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“Are you around tomorrow after work?”
She panicked. She’d made plans with Devon, but she wanted to be with Todd.
No. She was matching his level of commitment so he could learn to do a little wishing and wanting, too. She might be settling in, but she wasn’t the ever-available woman he could fit into the cracks in his life. He wasn’t sitting around his apartment waiting for her to hang out, so why should she? That was a sure way to make their relationship fail.
“I have plans, actually. How about Friday?”
There was silence and she checked her phone’s bars of service. Sometimes her calls dropped out which was one thing about the town that drove her nuts. That and the cost of good internet.
Nope. Still three bars of service.
“Oh.” He sounded let down. Like her when he had to travel, actually.
“Yeah, going zip-lining with a friend.” Ugh, it felt wrong bringing it up without inviting him. It felt like she was making a point she didn’t want to make.
