Violet

by Rae Thomas

  I return to my chamber and climb into the bed, noting that I’m not sure if a mattress has ever been this heavenly. Just as I am settling in to go to sleep, David slides into the bed beside me. I turn over on my back and he lies on his side, looking down at me. Even in the dim golden light from the bedside lamp, I cannot help but be struck by my attraction to David. Some of his hairs must be lighter than others, because they reflect the light from the lamp and are tinged with the same golden color. I put my hand up to his cheek and note the stark contrast between my creamy fingers and his olive skin. As always, his green eyes draw me in; I could not look away if I tried.

  David smiles down at me, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m looking at him the way he’s looking at me. If so, there’s no question about whether or not I’ve fallen for him. He leans down and kisses me softly; his lips just barely brush mine and he whispers, “I just can’t believe I get to have you.” He scoots down a little and I feel his lips softly brush my neck. “Foster’s cut is almost gone; I can barely see it.” He’s only being nice; I’m sure I’ll carry a scar from that cut. David lifts his head back up to meet my eyes. He kisses me deeply, a kiss like the one in Amara that makes me want to keep kissing him.

  After a little while, David pulls away. “Let’s get some sleep,” he says. Then he winks and I can’t help but laugh. “We’ll have plenty of time for kissing tomorrow.”

  I turn over and let my head sink into the pillow. There’s nothing I want more than a restful sleep, but after a few moments, I begin to dream. My mind is accosted with sounds and images, but they’re all things that I’ve already experienced. Again, I get the distinct feeling that my brain is trying to get me to remember something.

  Ezra’s voice in the hallway It’s not his right to keep it from her.

  The Scientist in his lab That’s why he created her.

  I sit up in bed; my father’s pocket watch indicates that it’s almost morning. Everyone will be getting up soon. The images still flood my mind. Why these memories? All of this excitement is getting to me.

  I go into the washroom and flip the lock behind me. I splash some water on my face and look at myself in the mirror.

  My face. The same face I’ve seen every day since I woke. Every day that I remember.

  He was afraid that your body and mind had been irreversibly torn apart.

  Again, I look at the cut on my neck; David was right, it’s almost gone. As I think about this, I find myself tracing the veins on my left wrist with the fingers of my right hand. I stop and open the medicine cabinet. Yes, that’s what I’m looking for.

  Perhaps your consciousness had been transferred to The Cube.

  I pick up the shaving blade from where it sits on the shelf. I look again to my wrist, but when I return to my reflection, the image is blurry. The tears have distorted my vision, and though I was determined not to cry, I am powerless against them.

  This doesn’t make any sense. David would have known. He would have seen it in my eyes.

  The Cube creates life where none exists.

  Some would say that this is a choice, but what choice do I really have? I can’t stand living with all the things I don’t know.

  I press the point of the blade into the middle of my wrist and wince at the pain. Fat tears plop onto the skin of my forearm. But I do not stop. I pull the razor further, making a conscious effort to steady my hand against the sobs. There is less blood than I thought there would be.

  Ramla, The Seer You do not know yet what you are.

  I put the blade down on the sink and allow the blood to trickle from the gash. I press the fingers of my opposite hand into the cut and draw it open. There it is. I touch it. The springiness of artificial bone. I run my fingers a little further down the cut. A small circuit. For stimulating muscle contractions.

  My father’s own words When we had that accident, I lost Violet. I lost my daughter.

  Naturally, I thought he had been talking about me.

  You do not know yet what you are.

  Violet Price never woke from her coma.

  Violet Price lies sleeping in this very compound.

  I am the BioMech.

  At this moment, there is a knock on the door. I don’t answer immediately, but then I hear his voice.

  “Violet?” It’s David. “Are you all right?”

  I look again at my reflection. Am I?

  “Cecil says breakfast is ready.”

  I rinse the blood from the sink and replace the razor in the cabinet. I look at the cut on my arm. The blood has already ceased to flow. The wound will be healed by day’s end. I pull my sleeve down to cover it and look again at my reflection.

  I turn toward the door and say, “I’m coming.”