I was thrilled that Luke trusted me enough to share this secret with me. I did my best not to read too much into it, but my heart was doing flip-flops! “Of course, I won’t tell anyone. Thanks for letting me in on your secret. I’m really excited for you.”
He smiled and took a step closer to me. “Eliza, I . . .” he began, but then his expression changed and he stepped back, his smile fading. “I hope you’re still planning on coming to our game tomorrow. It would mean a lot to Jason.”
At the mention of Jason’s name, the spell was broken and I crashed back into reality. I was almost certain Luke had been about to say something else before he changed his mind. Without realizing it, he was toying with my emotions, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle it. I wanted to shake him and demand to know why he looked at me the way he sometimes did and why he walked with me after class and told me his secrets. A guy as good-looking as he was couldn’t go around messing with people’s heads. It wasn’t fair!
“Yeah, I’m still planning on it,” I answered in a deceivingly careless tone. Suddenly I felt so irritated with him that I wanted to hurt him a little, to make him suffer the way he was making me suffer. I wanted to feel like I was in control of this situation and that the ball was in my court.
“Speaking of Jason,” I continued somewhat haughtily, “he’s probably looking for me. I’d better go find him.” I felt a triumphant thrill at the flicker of disappointment in Luke’s eyes.
“Oh . . . right. Well, see you later.” He turned around and headed toward the parking lot. As I watched him go, I saw a group of cheerleaders pass him and collectively yell, “Bye, Luke!” He turned and waved at them, and they all giggled.
Ugh! Of all the stupid, crazy, idiotic things to do! I berated myself. The hottest, most popular guy in school had been talking to me, and what did I do? I brushed him off, all because of my silly hurt feelings!
I fumed at myself as I walked toward the school, not noticing Jason until I almost smacked into him.
“Hey, there you are! I keep waiting for you by your locker, but it seems like lately it’s been taking you a while to walk from the seminary building to the school.” His eyes swept the surrounding area suspiciously as though looking for Luke.
“Oh, sorry about that. The next time you’re waiting for me, you should send me a text so I know,” I said as nicely as possible but hoping he got the hint that I didn’t expect him to wait for me every day. Granted, I was desperately trying to like him as more than a friend, but the thought of having to explain where I was at any given moment annoyed me.
“No problem. I was just wondering, um . . . if you had plans Saturday night after the final concert.”
This was my chance to become Jason’s girlfriend. If I said “yes” to a date, that would mean we would have gone out three weekends in a row—basically making our relationship official. I wasn’t as excited as I hoped I’d be at the idea, but I was determined to stick to the decision I’d made earlier in the day. I was going to make this work!
“No, I don’t have any plans. Did you want to do something?” I batted my eyelashes innocently.
He grinned and instantly relaxed. “Actually, yeah. A bunch of us were going to go to Danny’s house afterward and watch a movie. His parents have this theater room with a huge screen—it’s awesome!”
“Sounds like fun. I’m sure I’ll feel like celebrating after my solo is behind me,” I added.
Jason put his arm around me. “Believe me, Eliza, you have nothing to worry about. You’re going to do great! I can’t wait to hear you sing.”
I let him keep his arm around me for a moment longer than I normally would have, trying to imagine what it would be like to have a boyfriend. After a few seconds, I felt awkward, so I pulled away.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m excited to come to your game.”
“Yeah, I’m excited for you to be there too.” He looked at me meaningfully, and I smiled and then quickly turned toward the safety of the school.
• • •
“Are you up for some shoe shopping?” I asked Jill as we drove out of the school parking lot.
“Yes! Let’s go right now. I want to look at some jewelry too. I can’t wait to complete my outfit!” She rubbed her hands together greedily.
After a few minutes of talking about how we were going to do our hair and makeup, Jill turned down the radio. “So, can you believe Chelsea? I told you she was going to turn up with a date for prom as soon as Luke wasn’t an option.”
“Really? Who’s she going with?”
She snorted. “Who else? Owen Black, the guy she was draped all over at lunch. I can’t believe how tacky she is. It was totally obvious she wanted to make Luke jealous.”
I glanced at Jill’s expression, and something Grandma had said last night came to my mind. At that moment, Jill’s normally beautiful face appeared . . . well, less flattering than usual. I remembered my resolve to stop gossiping about Chelsea, and although I felt the urge to bash the girl who’d caused me so much embarrassment, I knew I had to rise above it.
I cleared my throat. “You know, I actually feel kind of sorry for Chelsea,” I began somewhat timidly. “Maybe she deals with stuff we don’t know about. You never know what makes a person act the way they do.”
Jill’s face was incredulous. “What? Eliza, you can’t be serious! The only thing that girl ever has to ‘deal with’ is which person she’s going to make miserable on any given day. She’s a total airhead with no heart at all.” She threw me an accusing look. “How could you possibly defend her—especially after the way she humiliated you in front of everyone today?”
I stiffened slightly. “I don’t know. I just think that maybe we shouldn’t gossip about her so much. No matter how awful a person may be, it still doesn’t give us the right to judge them when we don’t know the full story.”
Jill’s eyes narrowed. “What is with you lately? It’s like you’re becoming this completely different person all of a sudden. I feel like I hardly even know you anymore.” She shook her head. “Like what was the deal inviting Keira Davis to eat lunch with us without even talking to me about it first? We used to tell each other everything, but now I feel like I’m becoming some kind of stranger. And now, on top of everything else, it’s like you’ve gotten all preachy about things.” She looked at the floor. “I don’t get you, Liza.”
I felt anger swelling inside me. “Well, excuse me for trying to be a better person. I didn’t realize that was some sort of crime. And where do you get off telling me that I’m making you feel like a stranger? How do you think I’ve felt ever since you got together with Nick? It’s like you don’t have time for me anymore, like I’m just there to fill in the gaps when he’s not around. I’m always the third wheel, and I’m sick of it! I feel like I lost my best friend months ago.”
Jill tossed her hair. “I thought that best friends were supposed to be happy for each other. You’re just jealous that I have a boyfriend and you don’t.” She folded her arms crossly. “Just take me home. I don’t feel like shopping anymore.”
“Me neither,” I snapped back, tears welling in my eyes. I pulled a U-turn at the next intersection and lowered my foot on the pedal, blazing past my typically moderate speed.
We both fell silent, but Jill flipped open her cell and texted the entire way home. I knew she was texting Nick—probably telling him all about our fight. I couldn’t believe she could be so heartless! This was the first time I’d opened up and told her how much it had affected me when she got a boyfriend, and instead of being sympathetic, she’d only made me feel worse. Admittedly, I hadn’t chosen the best time to express my feelings, and I probably could have done it in a more mature way—but still!
I pulled into Jill’s driveway. Jill threw open the door and slammed it behind her. She ran to her house, and she didn’t look back.
• • •
“What’s the matter, honey?” At the sound of Mom’s soothing voice, I finally broke down
and cried. She put her arms around me, stroking my back and waiting until my sobs slowed enough that she could understand what I was saying.
“Jill and I had a fight.” I sniffed and wiped at my eyes. “A really bad one.”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry.” Mom kept her arm around me but led me to the living room sofa. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, not really. She just said some things that really hurt my feelings, and then I . . . I said some things I probably shouldn’t have either.”
“That’s too bad, but you know we all have fights now and then, especially with the people we’re closest to. Why don’t you give it a little time? You’ll probably feel better in a few hours. Then maybe you’ll feel like apologizing, and I bet she will too.”
“Thanks, Mom. You’re probably right.” My breathing returned to normal, and I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes. Mom smiled at me and stood up to leave, but just then Courtney and Alexis came into the room.
“What’s wrong with you?” Courtney asked in a flippant tone. I noticed both she and Alexis were wearing black fingernail polish and, for some reason, that bothered me more than Courtney’s attitude. Whatever happened to the sweet pink and red colors I used to paint her nails with?
“Oh, nothing. She just didn’t have a good day, that’s all.” Mom winked at me, reminding me a lot of Grandma. “Don’t forget about the activity tonight, girls. And, Alexis, you know you’re welcome to come.” She smiled and left the room.
Courtney looked at Alexis apologetically. “Sorry, I forgot it was tonight. Do you want to come?”
Alexis looked annoyed. “No, thanks. Let’s watch TV until you have to go.”
Courtney turned on the TV, and Alexis picked a show to watch.
I felt a renewed dislike for Alexis. I couldn’t believe Mom let Courtney hang out with her. Judging by Courtney’s drastic changes the past few months, Alexis obviously wasn’t the best influence. She came from a family that I hadn’t heard good things about. Her older brother was a junior at my school, and everyone knew he cut class all the time to go drinking. I thought about saying something to Mom, but I figured she already had a pretty good idea of Alexis’s background.
Even knowing about Alexis’s family, though, Mom always invited Alexis to join us for family prayer or scripture study if she was around (which was almost always), and more than once I’d heard her invite Alexis to church or to a Young Women activity, but she always refused.
I sighed and walked into the kitchen, hoping to grab a quick snack before heading to my room. To my surprise, I saw Mom bent over the table, working on something. I moved closer to get a better view and had to suppress my gasp. She held a hot glue gun in one hand and a handful of seashells in the other, which she was methodically gluing onto a small frame. Small piles of shells littered the table, and I immediately spotted the red shell from my dream. I’d spent precious snooze-button time this morning rummaging around in the attic looking for this shell, and here it was on our kitchen table!
Without thinking, I maneuvered around Mom and snatched up the shell as if afraid it would run away.
“Sorry for the mess,” Mom spoke without looking up from her frame. “I’m redecorating the bathroom with a beach theme, and I remembered I had all of these shells I could use.”
“Huh,” I responded vaguely as my gaze remained transfixed on the circular pattern of the shell. I still couldn’t believe I was finding these objects from my dreams—it was too bizarre! After I hadn’t found the shell this morning, I’d worried that maybe there wasn’t one, but here it was! I almost didn’t dare ask the question on my mind, but I couldn’t resist. “Where did all of these shells come from?”
Mom straightened up and sighed. “Oh, all over the place. I’ve collected them from different vacations we’ve been on, and some I think I got from my mom, who probably got them from her mom.”
“Some of these might have been Great-grandma’s?”
She nodded. “I’m sure of it. Grandma collected lots of things: shells, rocks, postage stamps. It was sort of a hobby of hers.” She smiled at me. “It seems like you’ve had a lot of questions about your great-grandma lately; I’m glad you’re taking an interest in her life.”
If you only knew! I tried my best to sound casual. “Well, I am her namesake, after all.” I turned my attention to the seashell in my hand. “This red shell is kind of unique. Do you mind if I keep it?”
“Sure, honey.” Mom leaned back over the frame and didn’t bother to look up as she responded.
“Thanks!” I answered with more enthusiasm than I’d intended, but I was excited to have collected one more “value token.”
I went back into the living room to get my backpack and heard Alexis and Courtney laughing at their TV show. Alexis’s laugh annoyed me and I frowned.
I marched back into the kitchen. “Don’t you think Alexis spends a little too much time over here, Mom?” I said in a somewhat huffy tone. “She’s practically a permanent fixture on our couch.”
Mom looked up in surprise. “That’s not very kind, Eliza. Alexis’s mother has to work long shifts at the hospital, and I told her that Lexi’s welcome here anytime. I hope you’ll try to make her feel as comfortable as possible when she’s in our home. It isn’t easy for her to have both of her parents working so much.”
I felt for the seashell in my pocket and nodded somewhat contritely. Mom understood more about individual worth than I did, because apparently she saw something in Alexis that I couldn’t.
• • •
A few minutes before it was time to leave for Mutual I sent Jill a text. Mom had been right; I was feeling better, and I wanted to apologize.
Me: Sorry about the things I said. I hate it when we fight. Forgive me? Are you coming to Mutual?
Jill: Forgot about Mutual. @ the mall w/Nick. Have fun.
I snapped my phone shut and tried to ignore the hurt that made my throat feel tight. Mom walked into the kitchen and saw me slumped over, staring at my phone on the table.
“What happened?” She sat down next to me, ready to offer comfort if I needed it.
“I sent Jill a text and apologized, but I don’t think she’s over it yet.”
“Give her some time. I’m sure by tomorrow everything will be back to normal. Do you think she’ll be at the activity tonight? It’s always nicer to apologize in person when you can.”
“No, she’s not coming. I hope you’re right about it being better tomorrow, because it’s not like her to stay mad for long,” I said, frowning.
Mom nodded. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah.” I hesitated. “Mom, do you think after Mutual you could come with me to the mall to pick out some shoes for my dress?”
She looked ecstatic, but I could tell she was trying not to show how much she enjoyed the idea. “Of course, dear. But are you sure you don’t want to wait and go with Jill?”
“I’m pretty sure she already went shopping without me.” I didn’t want Mom to feel like she was my second choice so I added, “Besides, it would be nice to have your opinion.”
She beamed. “Well then, I’m glad our activity is a short one tonight. Let’s go!”
• • •
The cultural hall was filled with quilting frames and chatting girls. For the activity, we were tying quilts to give to a local women’s shelter.
The other girls were already seated at their various quilts and were mostly clustered in groups of friends. I had been busy helping Mom cut yarn, but now that we were finished, I was ready to find a quilt and start tying. I scanned the room and felt another pang of sadness that Jill hadn’t come. She and I always saved each other a seat, and it was nice having my best friend in the ward because then I never felt left out.
There was an empty spot by Courtney, but after the way she’d been acting lately, I decided it was better to steer clear of her.
I noticed a quilt in the back corner with only two people working on it: a Mia Maid leader and Sierr
a Holbrook. It was clearly the “outcast” table. The fabric wasn’t as cute as the other quilts, and seeing Sierra sitting there, with only a dutiful leader at her side, was enough to break my heart. I didn’t need to touch the shell in my pocket to know what I should do. I walked over to the table in the corner. “Mind if I work on this one with you guys?”
Sister Allen looked up at me and smiled. “That would be great, Eliza! Pull up a chair.”
I chose a spot across from Sierra so I could talk to her more easily, and after I’d gotten into the groove of tying the yarn a few times, I asked her, “So, Sierra, are you excited for school to be out?”
She peeked at me through the tangle of brown hair covering her glasses, then quickly looked back down at the quilt and gave a slight nod.
Hmm, this is going to be harder than I thought. I tried a new tactic by asking a question that was not a “yes” or “no” answer.
“What’s your favorite subject?”
Again she peeked at me shyly, her expression a blend of confusion and curiosity. I wondered how long it had been since someone her age had taken an interest in her. After a long pause, I decided she probably wasn’t going to answer, and then, ever so softly, I heard her reply.
“My f-f-favorite subject is English.”
“Really? Mine too! You’re in ninth grade, right? Who’s your English teacher?”
“Ms. Carmichael.”
“No way! I had her for English, and she was awesome. I really loved that class.” I was so happy to have gotten a response from her, and I wanted to keep the conversation going. “What book are you guys reading right now?”
“We’re r-r-reading excerpts from Romeo and Juliet.” Her answers were still quiet, but I could see she was letting her guard down. From there, our conversation took off, and we talked almost nonstop until the activity was over.
I noticed that the more comfortable Sierra got, the less she stuttered, and after a while, I didn’t even notice it anymore. I also realized that behind that mask of dirty hair, she had very pretty features. She possessed a sweet personality, and I found myself hoping that we would become friends.
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