Wow.
How was I supposed to not melt at that? Leaning against the shelving in the men’s section, my heart warmed, and I had no idea what I was going to do about this perfect man who had walked into my life.
Chapter 13
Drayer
I didn’t know what it was about the day, but I was feeling much more impatient than usual. I still didn’t take it out on the kids, or at least I tried not to, but I found myself growing much more irritated at a quicker pace. I guessed that maybe I was getting anxious for my date with Ella.
So, when Jimmy cut off the line for lunch, and it took about thirty-five minutes for the last one to get off my lap, I was both ravenous and pissy. I quickly ran to the food court, grabbed the quickest meal I could find, and headed back to the break room.
All the people who normally ate after me passed by me on my way to the room, which meant I was an hour late for when I was supposed to eat. I assumed that the closer we got to Christmas, the more that would happen. Oh, well. That was just part of the gig.
But when I walked into the break room to find it completely empty other than Ella sitting at the far table, I suddenly didn’t feel so mad about it. I crossed all the way to her, shooting her an eager smile as I plopped down in the chair next to her.
“Long day?” she asked, chewing her food with an exhausted expression.
“You wouldn’t believe it,” I said. “What are you doing here so late?”
“Some jerkwad crapped in the dressing room. I’ve been stuck cleaning it with three of the floor girls since ten this morning.”
“Oh my god, that’s disgusting.”
“You’re telling me.”
I shook my head, opening my lunch up. I noticed Ella’s nostrils flare almost immediately, and she looked longingly at my food.
“Would you like some?” I asked, smiling at her.
“I mean, only if you’re not that hungry.”
“Don’t worry. There’s plenty here for the both of us.” Slick as can be, I picked up the plastic fork I had brought, dug it into the meat and the rice, and then offered it up to her.
She sent me an uncertain look before realizing exactly what my intentions were, and she opened her mouth. I watched her lips as they closed around the food, and when I pulled the fork back, it was completely clean.
Wow, that was ridiculously hot. Hunger forgotten, I quickly picked up another forkful and brought it up to her again.
Our eyes made contact as she took that, too, slow and deliberate. The next thing I knew, the fork was on the table, and we were hard-core making out.
Our lips moved together, the taste of my lunch in her mouth. My hands went to her shirt, palming her glorious curves through the fabric.
I couldn’t say how long we stayed like that, but eventually, we did realize we could be caught by anyone at any minute, and we broke apart, both of our faces red.
“So,” I said, trying to bring myself down and stop the tent that was rapidly rising in my pants.
“So,” she answered, just as breathlessly.
“You, uh, still want to go on our date tomorrow?”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do.”
Her smile stayed in place, but something changed as she said it. She seemed like she was pulling back from me, but I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Her mouth said yes, and she was certainly into making out with me, but I wasn’t sure her mind was fully where her heart was.
I wasn’t sure what I needed to do. All I knew was I never wanted to hurt her, but I definitely needed to prove that to her. How I would go about that, though, was a mystery.
“Looks like my lunch is over,” she said weakly before heading out, leaving me to chow down on my now lukewarm meal. I watched her as she went, wondering what had hurt her so terribly.
I finished up the rest of my shift without seeing Ella again. I hoped she was stationed in the stockroom for the second half of her shift rather than avoiding me. By the time I did get off, it was well past six, and I had racked up yet another hour and a half of overtime. Christmas was looking good indeed. I liked that I would be able to go into my new job without being completely destitute. Which was great considering it sometimes took two to three weeks to get paid while getting integrated into payroll.
To my surprise, I caught Nick as he was finishing a cigarette in the parking lot. Jogging to him, I called out to catch his attention.
“Hey! What are you doing here?”
Nick looked up at me like he’d had the absolute worst day. “Are you aware that some people think it hilarious to shit in our dressing rooms?”
I winced. “Uh, yeah. I heard that happened this morning.”
“Not just this morning,” he corrected. “This afternoon. Twice.”
“Oh God, what is wrong with people?”
“I have no idea,” He flicked his cigarette and shot me another weary look. “You wanna go get a drink?”
“Hell, yes.”
We walked out of the parking lot together and headed for the nearest subway. Although we had a few regular haunts, we were pretty happy to unload ourselves at the first bar we saw.
And that was exactly what we did. Less than an hour later, I was seated at a bar and drowning my stress in carbonated hops.
“I couldn’t seal the deal.”
“Pardon?” I looked up from my drink to find Nick staring at me balefully.
“I couldn’t seal the deal with Jo. We spent the whole night flirting, but in the end, she said she had to get home.”
“Aw, I’m sorry man,” I said with a grimace.
“It’s fine. It’s fine.” It clearly wasn’t fine. “At least you know exactly how I feel.”
“Actually, I kinda don’t.”
Nick set his drink down with a thunk. “Wait, what?” Then his mind seemed to catch up with what I had said, and he gasped. “Are you kidding me? You? And Ella?”
“Would you keep your voice down?” I hissed, not wanting my personal business to spread everywhere.
“Are you kidding me? Man! You must be over the moon!”
“No. Not really?”
He hung his head again, being dramatically emphatic enough to be Jo at this point. “Dude, what the hell is wrong now?”
“I just … I really like this girl, Nick. She’s sweet, she’s smart, and my god, Saturday night was amazing. But I can tell she’s scared, and there’s like this wall between us. I can’t tell if she likes me or just considers me a booty call, and for once in my life, I want more than that.”
Nick took a long drink before answering, and I couldn’t quite tell if he was glaring at me or if his expression was still sour from striking out with Jo. “You gotta come right out and tell her, man. There’s no point in beating around the bush and just hoping you two are on the same wavelength.”
“You’re right,” I said, downing more of my own beverage. “That’s what I’m going to have to do.”
Chapter 14
Ella
I found myself staring at my straightener and my curling iron once again, trying to decide which one I should use for my date. It had been so long since I had been on a date that I couldn’t help overthinking everything.
He had already seen me with curly hair at the party, so maybe I should go with straight hair. But then again, curls seemed more formal and showed I had put plenty of effort into our date. I didn’t want to look lazy, did I?
I grabbed my phone and quickly texted Jo.
Hey. Date Night. What hair?
I set it down and looked over my outfit one more time. I was wearing a purple knee-length dress that was pretty enough to make it look like I was trying but not so fancy I would be overdressed for wherever we went. I had on gray, woolen leggings underneath as well as a small, gray bolero to match. I looked pretty damn adorable, if I did say so myself.
My phone buzzed, and I snatched it back up.
Straight but flippy. Girl, rock it out!
I didn’t know what I would do without her. All this
girly stuff was still so foreign to me. I knew I could watch a tutorial online, but they couldn’t hold my attention, and they never made much sense to me anyway. Now, my best friend, she made sense to me.
I finished my hair and made sure I had everything I needed in my purse in case the date went bad. Not that I thought it would, but it was always smart to be safe.
A knock sounded at my door, and I checked my phone. Drayer was five minutes earlier than he said he would be. That was nice.
I hated people who were chronically late to everything, so punctuality was definitely to be admired.
“Hello,” I said, opening the door after checking through the peephole that it was him.
“Hey there,” he answered, leaning forward to place a single kiss on my cheek. “You look amazing.”
“Why, thank you. You clean up pretty well yourself.”
I wasn’t lying about that either. He looked quite crisp in a pair of new, fitted jeans and a forest green sweater over top, his moppish hair brushed back into a more groomed style. He looked like he had just walked off a runway, and I was totally digging it.
He offered his arm and led me down to the streets. Naturally, we flirted the entire time, and it was all lighthearted and everything I hoped it would be. He was as charming as ever, and it made me feel at ease.
“Are you sure you’re warm enough there?” he asked, eyeing me up and down.
“Drayer, I’m wearing a coat, a bolero, a dress, and woolen leggings. I assure you, everything except my face is nice and toasty.”
“But your face is the best part of your outsides!”
“Considering you’ve seen me naked, I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You should because, trust me, I loved the rest of you too.”
“Careful with those compliments. You keep stroking my ego, and I might have to keep you around.”
“Oh, heaven forbid. I couldn’t imagine a more terrible fate.”
“Good, then the threat is doing its job.”
He tilted his head back and laughed loudly, causing several people on the subway to look at us, but I didn’t care. I was having fun in the winter for once, so they could sue me.
The date turned out to be dinner and drinks at a local pub. It wasn’t a total dive, and I actually found the place both homey and comfortable. It was convenient because I was craving red meat like nobody’s business.
But of course, he had to drop a bomb right after we got our appetizer of boneless wings and mozzarella sticks. “So, what are your plans for Christmas?”
Ugh. Why did I have to do anything for Christmas? Why couldn’t it be like any other day?
“Nothing,” I said, pulling back slightly. It always came to this, didn’t it?
I supposed I could tell him why I didn’t like the holiday or why I never spoke of family, but I didn’t feel like disclosing that part of my life with someone I didn’t really know. Funny how I could share my body with someone but then still have trouble opening myself up to him.
“Really? Nothing?” I could tell he was trying to moderate his tone and pick his words very carefully, which grated on my nerves. “Is that purposeful or just kinda happened?”
“It’s complicated.”
He said nothing for several seconds, and I could tell I was quickly torpedoing everything. It wasn’t like I meant to, but I couldn’t really help my natural reaction to the holiday.
“Is something wrong?” he asked after what felt like an eon had passed. “I feel like you’ve suddenly put up this wall in between us, and everything was going so well.”
“Like I said, my ex gave me some trust issues. This is just the way I am.”
“I know, I know. I only want you to give me a real chance. I promise I’m not like him.”
I sighed. I didn’t want to have to deal with this with a practical stranger. Sliding him a couple of dollar bills I had in my wallet, I got up and walked away. At least he had the common sense to not follow, and I ended up on the street alone.
I made my way to the subway and whipped out my phone as I did. Quickly texting one of my coworkers, I asked them if they could take my shift tomorrow and I could work their Sunday. Hopefully, they would answer yes, so I wouldn’t have to see Drayer or face the stupid situation I had gotten myself into.
Right now, I just wanted to sleep.
Chapter 15
Drayer
If I had thought Wednesday had been bad, today was even worse. I only wanted to talk to Ella, but I didn’t exactly have her number, and I had yet to spot her alone at work.
Besides, it wasn’t like I could get up from the North Pole and leave all the little kiddies pining after Santa. Although I was sitting pretty financially, I didn’t want to get fired from this job by abandoning my post.
So, I waited anxiously for lunch, and it came later than ever, so late, I was pushing the six-hour limit mandatory in the city. But my mind wasn’t on food. Not by a long shot.
I went straight to the retail section to look for Ella.
I walked the entire area, and I couldn’t find her anywhere. She could have been in the backroom, I supposed, or even the dressing rooms. And if she was, I couldn’t follow her there. Luckily, I spotted Jo walking to her afternoon break, and I ran to catch up with her in the employee hall.
“Hey, can we talk for a minute?”
Her eyes went wide, but she nodded and followed me into a far corner of the hall. “What’s up?”
“So, listen, Ella and I had a date last night.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m guessing by your face that it didn’t go so well.”
“No. It didn’t. I asked her what she was doing for Christmas, and suddenly she withdrew. It was like a switch flipped, and she couldn’t be interested.”
Jo looked like she was very meticulously choosing her words before she spoke them. “Did you ask her why she might be acting that way?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m not an idiot,” I answered. “She said her ex left her with a lot of issues, and I understand that, but we weren’t even talking about relationships or anything like that. I just asked her what she was doing for Christmas.”
“Oh,” she murmured.
“Oh?” I echoed. “You sound like you know exactly what’s going on.”
“It’s really not my place to say, but there’s another reason why she acts the way she does. She tends to withdraw from everyone around Christmas time.”
“What is it? Should I just never bring that up again? I don’t really understand how asking if she had plans is so awful.”
“You’re going to have to sit down and talk with her about it, and to be honest, I don’t know if she’ll answer.” Jo sighed and looked to me guiltily. “Look, I know Ella isn’t the easiest person to get to know. Hell, even I get frustrated with her. But believe me when I say she’s well worth all the trouble. Life hasn’t been nice to her, and someone like you could really help her out. I think you’d both be good for each other.”
I was surprised at that, and yet again, I didn’t know what to say. “Oh, well, thank you. I guess.”
“No problem.” She reached out and patted my arm. “Hang in there, champ. I’m rooting for you.” She turned to go but then paused at the last second. “But I should mention, if you ever hurt my friend, I don’t care how hot and muscly you may think you are, I’ll rip you limb from limb.”
Although I was almost twice her size and had several inches on her, I believed her. “Duly noted.”
She smiled brightly and gave a little bow. “Great! I’ll see you around.” And with that, she half skipped, half walked out, whistling some nameless tune.
So, there might be something else besides her potentially abusive ex? It seemed that Ella was as complicated as she was beautiful.
But hearing her best friend say she was rooting for me certainly gave me hope. Jo knew her better than anybody else, so if she thought Ella and I had a chance, I should probably believe her.
It looked like I needed to tal
k to her. Too bad she was probably avoiding me now.
Oh well, I had gotten through worse things in life. I would get through this too. I just had to try. Who knew? Maybe I would get a little Christmas miracle of my own.
Chapter 16
Ella
I focused all my energy and mind on folding clothes. Sure, it wasn’t exactly the most thrilling of times, but at least it kept my thoughts off everything else.
And by everything else, I pretty much meant Drayer.
My day off hadn’t been much help. The whole time I spent either pouting or reminiscing about the old times before the world sucked and my heart was comprised of mostly broken rubble and betrayal. Back when there was hope and not loss. Dreams for the future instead of resignation to the way the world was.
Wow, apparently, I got really dramatic when I was left alone too long with my own thoughts, so it was good to be back. All I had to do was completely avoid Drayer, and then I could—
“There you are! What the hell is going on?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin as a strong hand gripped my arm. Spinning, I whipped around to see it was just Jo, but boy, she looked pretty pissed.
“Excuse me?” I asked, wresting my arm from her hold. I tried to think of anything I had done to bother her recently, other than not return her belt yet, but it hadn’t even been a week since I’d borrowed it.
“Dude, Drayer came up to me at work yesterday to ask if you were okay. He was really polite but also super upset. Come on, I never thought you were the type to play around with someone.”
“I’m not,” I answered quickly. “I—” I realized there was no point in trying to hide what had happened. Jo could see through me too easily. “I probably shouldn’t have just run out of the pub.”
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