Stardust: Half Light

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “I’ll take it back.” I waited for him to locate the computer and hand it over.

  Rachel stayed silent until I huffed all the way out the door. “Maybe I can fix it.” She nodded toward the laptop I had tucked under my arm.

  “You can fix computers?” I hoped I didn’t come across condescending or anything, but she didn’t even know what a laptop was.

  “I’ve never tried on one like that, but I’m usually pretty good at fixing technology.”

  “It’s okay. I can find a store.” I wasn’t doubting her, but knowing what was on the screen, I wasn’t keen on handing the laptop over to her.

  “But you said you really need it.” She stepped closer to me to avoid an oncoming crowd. Her arm brushed against mine, sending a wave of warmth and awareness through me yet again. I was losing it.

  “How did you learn to fix electronics?” I wondered if this would bring us back to the whole abduction talk. Or maybe she’d drop that.

  “I had nothing else to do.” There was a real sadness in her voice.

  “I appreciate your willingness to try, but you can’t.”

  “How do you know unless you let me try?” She frowned.

  “No. I don’t mean I doubt your ability or anything. I mean I don’t want you to look at my computer.” Ugh. Damn Dale for getting me into this situation to begin with.

  “Why not?” She glanced down at her watch and then over at me. “Are you protective of your computer? Is this because I was rude about my watch? I am sorry for that.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “No. It’s just that Dale is the reason it’s broken.”

  “And that matters?”

  “Yes because he broke it with porn.” I forced myself not to look away.

  “Porn?” Rachel asked. “What’s that?”

  I buried my face in my hands. “Ugh. Ok. The fact you don’t know that word means you can’t look at my computer.”

  “Sure I can. Really. I can fix it. Whatever porn is it can’t be that bad.”

  “It’s naked pictures of women in sexualized positions.” I spit it out. Holding out any longer wasn’t going to help things.

  “Oh.” Shock crossed her face, but her expression quickly turned calm. “Okay. I’m a woman, and I’ve seen myself naked. I don’t see why this is going to upset me.”

  It was going to upset me. Rachel was too innocent for this. At least I viewed her that way. In truth I knew nothing about her. Despite my misgivings, I realized saying no might be just as bad as letting her look. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  I debated where we should go. I doubted she was ready to go back to my house yet. I didn’t want to have her open my computer where someone could walk by and see it. I needed to find a place where she could work with privacy. “How about we go to the library?”

  “That’s fine.” She nodded.

  We crossed the quad and headed over to the library. It wasn’t finals week yet, so I assumed we’d find an empty spot somewhere.

  “This is a library?” Rachel gazed all around her after we stepped through the glass doors into the lobby. It was empty aside from us and two students sitting at the central desk.

  “Yup. You’ve never been in a library before?”

  “Oh. I have. Many times. But not one like this.”

  “Well, it’s a college library. They’re usually pretty big.” I led the way over to the stairs. She didn’t seem to mind walking, so I assumed she’d be okay walking a few flights.

  “Where are we going?”

  “To find a place in the stacks.”

  “The stacks?” Her brow furrowed. I was making her do that a lot.

  “You’ll see.”

  I found us a seat where we could sit with our backs to the wall. It was bad enough she was going to be seeing my computer. I didn’t need anyone else to witness the mess—or that I was asking a girl to fix it. Well, asking wasn’t the right word. Allowing her. She seemed pretty bent on doing it.

  I hesitated with my hand over the lid of the computer. “Remember, this stuff is Dale’s, not mine. I don’t look at this kind of junk.”

  “You’ve already told me that.” She smiled.

  “Yes, but I wanted to remind you so you don’t look at me differently after this.”

  “Shh.” Someone hissed from across the way.

  I ignored them. People talked up here all the time. It wasn’t even exams period.

  I slowly opened the computer.

  “Oh.” She put a hand to her mouth.

  I watched her, trying to figure out what to do. I hesitated while I considered closing the computer.

  Then I heard the tell-tale signs of laughter. “No girl would choose to sit that way.”

  “No… not usually.” Was this really happening?

  “Ok. Let me see what I can do.” She somehow opened the program manager, typed a few things, and reset the computer. “There you go.”

  “Wait. What?” I blinked a few times. Had she really pulled that off so quickly? “How did you do that?”

  “I’ve had a lot of practice fixing things. I already told you that.”

  “I know, but that was insanely fast…” I wasn’t sure what to say.

  “Is there anything else that needs to be fixed?” She asked.

  “No.” I shook my head. “We can get back to looking for your brother.”

  “Great. Also, do you know anywhere good to listen to music?”

  “Yes.” It was my turn to smile. “I know just the place.”

  Part 3

  Caspian

  15 Caspian

  My recurring nightmare was always the same. I went looking for Rachel, only to be told no such a girl existed. No matter how strong my memories were, no one else in the palace had any memory of meeting her. Usually I was in a state of tears before I eventually woke up. It was the only time in my life I cried. The thought of losing Rachel was my deepest fear.

  Maybe I hadn’t lost her physically, but I’d lost her in another way the night of the ceremony. I saw it in her eyes. Gardenia blamed it on shock, but I knew Rachel. This was far more than shock. It was all my father’s fault. He pushed me to take action too soon. But I was powerless to fight him. Everything would be okay though. Eventually she’d forgive me. But I would never forget the look of betrayal on her beautiful face.

  I had the dream again the night after my advancement. I awoke, first confused by the sunlight shining in through the window. It was a foreign feeling, but not all that uncomfortable. I glanced to my side, expecting to see Rachel, but the spot was empty.

  “Rachel?” I called, hoping she’d gone up to the track for a better view. She enjoyed staring outside more than anyone I’d ever known. She could spend hours with her hands and face pressed against the glass. I knew it was because she longed to go outside. What she didn’t understand was that even if she could breathe the air on Andrelexa, there was nothing out there worth seeing.

  When I got no response from her, I set off up the stairs. It was possible she had zoned out or had fallen asleep upstairs and didn’t hear me. Disappointment washed over me. The track was as empty as the space below.

  I wasn’t really worried yet. Left to her own devices she spent entire days tucked inside her workroom. I headed that way next, taking the back way around so I wouldn’t inadvertently run into my family. I wasn’t ready for their questions. How could I possibly explain why Rachel wasn’t with me? We’d always been joined at the hip—until the past few weeks. She’d started pulling away, and then the ceremony made everything worse. Now when we were supposed to be cementing a life mate relationship I had no idea where she was.

  I knocked on the closed door. “Rachel?”

  There was no answer, so I pushed the door open. The room was dark. I turned on the lights. It was empty. Perhaps she’d gone back to her old room. It’s where she’d slept for thirteen years, and I knew she’d hated to let it go. But again the decision hadn’t been mine to make. Soon enough I’d be Emperor
and making all the rules, but for now I was still beholden to my father.

  “Have you seen Rachel?” I asked one of the guards as I turned down the corridor.

  He shook his head. “Not this morning.” I let out a small sigh of relief. At least I wasn’t in one of my nightmares again.

  “Okay. If you do, please tell her I’m looking for her.” I hurried down the hall and pushed open the door to her room. It was empty. I hesitated in the dark room. I was running out of possibilities, but she had to be somewhere. She generally didn’t go down to the dining room herself, but maybe all of the excitement of the night before had made her hungry. I made my way down and pushed open the heavy double doors. My sister was seated alone at the long golden table.

  “Good morning, brother.” She sipped from a yellow goblet that matched the table and most of the decor in the room. All gold. Gold wasn’t a mineral found on Andrelexa, but you would never know it by how often it was used by my family. We’d found it on several other planets over the years and mined it until it was gone.

  Unlike the gold, Gardenia’s eyes were heavy and dull. If I had to guess, I would say her modifier was wearing off.

  “Have you seen Rachel?” I didn’t want to have to ask. Gardenia would rub it in.

  “No. I’d have thought you’d have been able to keep better tabs on her.” Gardenia sighed.

  “Well, I haven’t.” There was no sense putting on an act. My sister would see right through it. She always did.

  “I’m sure she’s messing with her androids or something.” Gardenia wove her hand in the air.

  “You say that in such a condescending way. I thought you two were friends.” I was always protective of Rachel. Truth be told, Rachel was used to Gardenia’s hot and cold personality and likely wouldn’t have minded, but it annoyed me.

  “Friends?” She cackled “You and I both know friends isn’t a label I would use to describe her and I. But I care for her in my own way, yes.”

  “That still doesn’t answer my question. Why so condescending about her interest in androids?”

  “Because it’s a waste of time. She has one role to play here, and it has nothing to do with robots.”

  “She could do both.” I knew Rachel wasn’t going to be happy unless she could stay busy. I was planning to build her a new place to work. Something far bigger than the closet-sized space she’d been relegated to. She was so creative. Who knew how many advances she could make if she were given the opportunity. When I was Emperor she’d have that opportunity.

  “First you need to find her.”

  “Where else do you think she’d be? She’s not in the observatory, her workroom, or her old room. I’m running out of ideas.”

  “Have you checked your room? You know, her new room. Maybe you crossed paths.”

  “I guess that’s possible.” I hadn’t even considered she’d go there. Now that would be a pleasant surprise. Perhaps I was blowing things out of proportion.

  “Anything is possible, brother.” Gardenia pushed her empty plate away from her. “And I’m late for my archery lesson.”

  “I won’t keep you. But please don’t hurt the instructor.”

  She pulled a small satchel from her pocket. “That’s why I’m taking one of these.”

  “Have you ever made it to lunchtime without popping one?” I pointed to the pink and green capsule in the palm of her hand and watched as she placed it on her tongue.

  She waited for the capsule to dissolve before answering. “Yes.” She kept a completely serious expression. “When I take one late enough in the evening. I hope you find her.” She stood and left me alone in the cavernous room.

  I wasn’t alone for long.

  “Caspian?” Kelby strode into the room looking a whole lot more rested than I’m sure I did.

  “Good morning, Kelby.” I looked past him into the hallway, hoping to see a glimpse of Rachel’s brown hair. I’d been apart from her before, but this was different. This time I didn’t know if she was upset with me. That changed everything. Every couple had high and low points, but I wanted to go back to the days when she’d watch me with wide eyes full of love and adoration. It was then that I had felt most whole.

  “What are you doing down here? I’d have thought you would have taken breakfast in bed this morning.” He grinned. “Or are you bringing food back up?”

  The grin wasn’t ill-spirited, but I still wanted to remove it from his face. “Not this morning.”

  “Oh.” Kelby stumbled back a step. “Not the night you’d planned for? I thought you made it back to the planet at a good hour.”

  “I did. All is fine, but have you seen Rachel this morning?”

  He shook his head. “No. Is everything okay?” Real worry crossed his face.

  “I’m sure she’s fine, but I’d like to find her.”

  “Have you checked the observatory?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve seen her in there a lot of mornings. Not that I watch her or anything, but I go by there.”

  He had no reason to explain himself. I knew he’d never have crossed a line with Rachel. I made a decision. Kelby was one of the few people I knew I could trust. “We slept there last night. In the observatory.”

  “Oh.” He blanched. “You slept by a window?”

  “By several large windows.” It sounded funny now, thinking about how forbidden that was.

  “And?”

  “And it was pleasant. That is until I awoke to find her gone.”

  “She seemed shocked after the ceremony, and then you left planet… I’m sure she just needs time to process everything.”

  “She shouldn’t need time away from me.” And the fact that she did stung in a way that very little ever could.

  “I don’t know all that much about women, but I understand they are different from men. Perhaps you shouldn’t read too much into this.”

  “Either way, I need to find her.”

  “I assume you checked her workshop.”

  “Of course.”

  “And have you spoken with Alda yet?”

  “Oh. Of course. Alda would know.” A glimmer of relief lit inside me. “Thanks, Kelby. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of that myself.”

  He shrugged. “When you get upset you can’t always think straight.”

  “She’s going to forgive me, isn’t she?” Normally I’d have never admitted my fear out loud.

  He appeared conflicted. He opened his mouth once, then closed it. Then opened it again. “She will, but either way, she doesn’t have a choice.”

  “I’m not going to force her into anything. She knows that.”

  “Just as it wasn’t your idea to give her the medallion so soon… not everything will be your choice.”

  “My father will have to be patient.”

  “When has he ever been patient?” Kelby leaned in. “You and Rachel both are best to remember that.”

  I stood there silently, not wanting to agree with his words, but understanding they were true. “I need to find Alda.”

  “You do.” Kelby nodded. “You want me to come with you?”

  “No, but please keep a look out for Rachel.”

  “Of course.” He bowed slightly before I was once again left completely alone in the dining room.

  I walked out the back and went in search of Alda.

  I didn’t often venture into the servants’ quarters. I’d probably still been a child the last time I’d descended the set of stairs at the back of the kitchens. Back then I’d been allowed to do whatever I pleased, and from the moment of Rachel’s arrival on, she was usually at my side. I could picture her skipping down the stairs, her hair flying all around her as we tried to search out some sort of trouble. Things were so much easier then.

  This time I walked slowly down the stairs, out of ideas if Alda was unable to help me. The main hall was empty, so I stepped into one of the common rooms.

  “Caspian.” A young woman whose name I could not remember bowed low as I approached. “
What can I help you with?”

  “No need to bow.” I would never get used to the tradition. I’d spent my whole life trying to dissuade the palace residents from doing it, but they were too afraid of my father to listen to me. Everything would be different when I was Emperor. I’d be sure of it.

  The woman said nothing. She made no move to stand.

  “I’m looking for Alda. Could you please direct me to where I can find her?”

  “I haven’t seen her yet today, sir.”

  “You haven’t?” I felt a small amount of relief. If Alda was unaccounted for, she was surely with Rachel.

  “No, sir. I haven’t seen her, but then again she is usually seeing to Rachel before I even awake. I work evening hours now.”

  “I understand, and I apologize if I disturbed your rest. But if you see Alda, please have her find me as soon as possible.”

  “Of course, sir.” The woman bowed again.

  “What is your name?”

  “Pada.” she bowed her head. “At your service.”

  “Thank you for your help, Pada.” I stepped back into the hallway and directly back up the stairs.

  I had a long list of things to accomplish, but focusing on anything was going to be difficult until I found Rachel. Things had been so tense the night before—so unlike how anything had ever been between us. It wasn’t her fault. None of it was. It wasn’t her fault her emotions were all over the place. I should have found her an Earth doctor earlier, but I’d resisted. I didn’t like thinking about her belonging anywhere but Andrelexa, because she didn’t. She belonged on Andrelexa with me. She was brought here for me. I understood it even before my father told me the truth. And once I knew the truth it was too late to do anything about it. Rachel had no home to go back to, but she had a home here. With me. I’d find a way to make her happy no matter what it took.

  16 Caspian

  I stared at my father trying to make sense of his words. I’d gone to him in desperation after I’d torn most of the palace apart searching for Rachel. Or Alda. She was gone too. Hours had passed, and no one seemed to have seen either of them at all. It was almost as if they’d disappeared into thin air. My father confirmed Rachel essentially had. “You cannot be serious.”