Recklessly Ever After

by Heather Van Fleet

  “Yes. That would be great.” Both dimples filled her cheeks this time. My insides went to total mush too. It had taken me weeks to find that smile, yet one conversation with Gavin and he’d pulled it right out of her. If that didn’t cement my feelings for this man, I didn’t know what would.

  * * *

  Gavin

  Whether I’d done more damage or curbed it, I wasn’t sure. But from the good-night kiss I got outside Kenna’s door, I knew I’d done something right.

  Her hands slid under the front of my shirt, my stomach tightening at her touch. “Thank you for today.” She kissed my chin, on the only spot where my beard didn’t cover it. Maybe shaving would have its benefits if I could feel her lips in new places. Yeah, she’d asked me to keep it once, but fuck if I wasn’t a selfish man. “You have no idea what it meant to me that you just hung out with us like you did.”

  My own hands skated down her back, tightening along her hips. “No problem.” I kissed her forehead and shut my eyes. “She’s sweet.”

  “Yeah, she is…”

  I heard the unease in her words and frowned, pulling back to look at her. “What’s up?”

  Her eyes met mine. “I just worry about her. She got out of an abusive relationship and has pretty much shut herself off from the world.”

  “She seems like she’s getting along better,” I said.

  “Could be that you’re just really awesome. Next thing I know, she’ll be falling in love with you.”

  “That so?” I grinned.

  A nod. “Yeah, because you make feeling things pretty easy.” She lowered her head, her gaze going to my neck.

  I lifted her chin, needing to meet her eyes again. “And how do I make you feel, Kenna?”

  “Alive.”

  I brushed my knuckles down her neck, then her cheek. That word was running through me like a fire. “You make me feel that way too.”

  “Do I?” She whispered the question, disbelief in her gaze.

  “Yes.”

  Her face transformed, her eyes narrowing into slits. One step, then two, and she had me pressed against her apartment door. Her hands were under my shirt again, long fingers tracing lines over my abs. I shuddered, then sucked in a heavy breath. Jesus, she could be wild. And I liked it a whole fucking lot.

  “I know how to make you feel even more alive.” She kissed my neck, then my chin once more.

  My eyes shut. “I should go…”

  “Call into work. Stay with me tonight.”

  I’ll stay with you forever, I wanted to say. I needed to say. Every second longer that this woman was in my life, the more I knew, without a doubt, she was my end game. She was Collin’s Addie and Max’s Lia rolled into one even more amazing woman—for me.

  Fucking job. For the first time, I didn’t want to work or have the distraction that went along with it. Didn’t want to do anything but be with her.

  I kissed her again, and her hips grew restless as she ground them against my cock. I could feel her heat through the tiny shorts she wore, and nothing teased me more. I lifted my hand, toying with the button on her shorts, only to slip my fingers inside and cup her through her panties.

  “Gavin,” she whispered, slowly dropping her head back against the wall. I took the free opportunity, pressing my lips to her pulse point, loving the sound of her warm pants against my ear.

  “Gotta be quick.” I slipped her panties aside, pressing one finger to her clit. On contact, she gripped my shoulders and squeezed, a loud moan filling the hall. Her eyes were shut, head still tipped back. “Fucking beautiful,” I whispered, sliding my middle and pointer fingers deep inside.

  “I’m gonna…”

  “Let it go.” I bit down on her neck, mainly to keep myself from cussing, but her cries soon filled the hallway, no doubt giving her neighbors an earful. I didn’t care. She said I made her feel things, and I didn’t want to stop with just emotions. For the rest of my fucking life, I wanted to make her come. Several times a day if it was possible.

  She laid her forehead against my shoulder, and words I’d never used sat on the tip of my tongue. Saying them would no doubt make her run, but not saying them would kill me.

  “I’m falling for you.” Slowly, I slid my fingers out, clenching them at my sides.

  She froze, her hands now on the button of her shorts.

  “Kenna…” I took a small step back, lifting her face with a thumb and forefinger. “Did you hear what I said?” Her eyes were wide with panic, her cheeks red too. Was it the orgasm I’d just given her or my admission? Either way, I’d done what I feared: effectively freaked her the hell out.

  She folded her arms over her chest, stepping out of my hold. “Will you, um, be at dinner tomorrow night with Addie and the gang?”

  My eyes narrowed. “Don’t pretend I didn’t just say what I did.”

  She looked at her door, then down at the floor, avoiding my gaze. “Max and Lia will be there too, won’t they?” Her body trembled. First her arms, then her shoulders… “I’d like to get to know Lia a little better. I used to judge her, but Addie loves her, so I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Plus, she—”

  “Talk. To. Me.” I cupped her cheeks with both hands, cutting her off.

  “I am talking to you.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “You have to work soon. And I need to go be with my sister.”

  “Kenna.” I pressed my forehead to hers. “Please.”

  She leaned into me too, her body relaxing. “I’m pretty tired…”

  “I’m falling for you.”

  “You shouldn’t.”

  I grinned, kissing her cheek. “Can’t help myself.”

  “What if I run? What if I decide I still don’t want this baby? What will you do then?” She took a breath, leaning back, her hands gripping my upper arms for dear life.

  “We’ll take it slow. No rush.”

  “I’m scared.”

  I tucked some of her hair behind her ear, letting my fingers linger against her cheek. “Me too.”

  “I’m a mess.”

  I leaned forward, dropping a kiss to her lips. “Then let’s be a mess together.”

  Chapter 25

  McKenna

  Twenty-three is how many times I checked my phone the next night at the restaurant. Gavin was a half hour late and had yet to answer my calls or texts. Addie assured me it was normal for him to just go missing for a while, but I figured maybe he was working on his house and had lost track of time.

  Still, I didn’t like not knowing where he was. If he wanted to make this work between us, he needed to change his ways as much as I did. And that meant not disappearing for an entire day and ignoring my phone calls.

  “Earth to McKenna.” Addie snapped her fingers in front of my face.

  I shook my head and pasted on a smile. “What was that?”

  “You zoned out on me for a minute there. Everything okay?” She tipped her head to the side.

  “She’s in love.”

  I jerked my head up and narrowed my eyes at Max. “What?”

  “I said she, meaning you, have been struck by that love shit.” He leaned forward on the table, bringing Lia’s hand with him. Since having surgery on his hand, he’d moved to Springfield to be with her. Devoted and in love, that’s what the two of them were. It was sickening…and I hated how jealous I was.

  “I’d recognize the look anywhere because I see it every time I look in the mirror now,” Max finished with a wink.

  “Aww.” Addie pressed her hands together beneath her chin in a prayer-like manner. “You two are so freaking sweet.”

  “Gimme a break.” Collin wrapped his arm around Addie’s shoulder, kissing her temple. “Max is half the man I am.” Addie snorted out a laugh but moved closer to his body.

  I frowned, feeling like the fifth wheel as I check
ed the clock on my cell phone once more.

  “Yeah, right.” Max chuckled, bringing Lia’s hand to his mouth. He kissed her knuckles. “I am all man, plus one. And I’ve got this sexy thing to prove it.” He kissed Lia’s cheek, and I watched how he smelled her hair. It was a very non-Max thing to do, very intimate, and it also made me itchy inside and out. All this affection, all these thoughts of love and happiness and finding it when it’s the most unexpected…

  I’m falling for you. Since last night, Gavin’s voice had echoed in my mind on an endless loop. God, why me? What did he see that none of my other boyfriends had? Or maybe we’d end up together, only for him to realize, too late, that I wasn’t what he thought I was. Then I’d lose him. Forever.

  Lia rested her head on Max’s shoulder. “No need to lay it on so thick when you know you’re still gonna be taking me home tonight.”

  “I’m gonna be doing more to you than just taking you home tonight.” Max grinned.

  “And that shit’s not coming back to my place.” Collin pointed a finger at Max.

  “Aww, Colly. You know you’ve been missing me. Don’t lie.”

  Collin grunted, curling his lip at Max.

  I shook my head at their weirdness, deciding it was time for me to break in with my thoughts on love. “Hate to break it to you, Maxwell, but I am not—nor am I likely to ever be—in love.” The words felt thick on my tongue, like the biggest, ugliest lie I’d ever told.

  “That’s news to me,” Gavin said, his voice a whisper for my ears alone.

  I stiffened as he sat down next to me, a soft hand grazing my neck in hello.

  “Sorry I’m late.” He looked around the table, greeting the group, yet avoiding my eyes. Nobody saw it but me—the hard flex of his bearded jaw, the twitch in his right eye when he looked down at the menu. I’d screwed up. Again. “Got hung up at work.”

  “Didn’t know you worked today,” Collin said, moving back in his chair. Addie went right along with him, completely in tune with his movements.

  Gavin didn’t work today. Last night, on the other hand… It was obvious he’d been working at his river house instead.

  “Yeah, kind of need something to keep me occupied right now.”

  Guilt had me chewing the inside of my cheek. I cared a lot about Gavin, but was I ready to break down with a confession of love when I wasn’t sure I even believed in it?

  “…need you all to take a weekend off next month.” I blinked, focusing on Collin. He nodded at Gavin, Max, Lia, then me, a bright, happy smile on his normally grumpy face.

  I looked at Addie. “For what, exactly?”

  “We’re eloping.” My best friend clapped her hands excitedly, her dark hair bouncing on her shoulders like a cheerleader’s.

  “What?” I asked, Gavin’s issues momentarily forgotten. I jumped up from my seat and ran around the table to hug her. She shot out of her chair too, arms ready. “Oh my God, Addie. I’m so happy for you.” We rocked back and forth in a dance.

  “You’ll be there, right?” Pulling back, she held me at arm’s length, eyes filled with tears.

  “Absolutely.” I sniffled, twice as emotional as I’d been just moments before. “I mean, who’s gonna be there to hold your hair when you puke from nerves? Or when you decide, last minute, that you’re too good for the douche canoe?”

  I winked at Collin, all in good fun, of course. It earned me the middle finger, which wasn’t exactly a new thing. He and I had a funny sort of friendship. Knowing he’d put a ring on my best friend’s finger helped with the murderous, angry thoughts I’d had about him in the past, but still… I wasn’t sold on forever, which meant I didn’t trust anyone else to find a forever either.

  Lia laughed and stood. “Ah! Make room for me, ladies!” She squealed and wrapped her arms around us. The three of us soon jumped around in a circle, heads pressed together.

  “Ladies, ladies, ladies…” Max stood, arms stretched out at his sides, a goofy grin on his face. “You wanna celebrate something, then how about celebrating the fact that I’d love to be the stripper at Short Stuff’s bachelorette party.” He jerked his chin at Addie.

  “Fuck no.” Collin groaned, taking a drink of his beer, while Addie sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him. “I don’t want her blinded.”

  The whole scene was sickening, really. Something out of a romantic comedy. All happy flowers and rainbows and butterflies. Something I didn’t normally feel. I glanced at Gavin from the corner of my eyes, watching as he set his elbows on the table. He was quiet, stiff, contemplative as he watched his friends… It made my chest tighten in unease. This was what he wanted as well, no doubt in my mind. Yet next to him sat a woman who held no real promise of forever, other than the fact that she was pregnant with his child.

  “The ceremony will be in Galena, at an inn.” Addie grinned excitedly as she spoke. “We’ve already spoken to Collin and Lia’s parents about it, and since I obviously don’t have parents, his family’s all that matters to me besides you guys.” Addie said, turning to face us. Her cheeks were rosy, her eyes sparkling with pure and utter joy.

  Lia’s lips turned into a pout. “I don’t have vacation time yet, so I won’t be able to come until the Saturday of the wedding.”

  “That’s okay. Just as long as you can be there for the ceremony.” Addie grinned, always the optimist.

  “You’ll be able to make it, right, Gav?” Collin pointed his stare at Gavin.

  “Of course.” He nodded, shoulders stiff. “Wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

  The rest of the dinner was spent talking about wedding plans and dresses and all things Galena, Illinois—at least among us girls. The guys, on the other hand, headed to the restaurant bar, refusing to let us rub off on them. Well, at least that’s what Collin and Max said. Gavin, on the other hand, had barely spoken two words to me since he’d arrived.

  “So, I’ve reserved a room for your parents at the inn where the wedding will be,” Addie said to Lia. “And a room for you and Max too.”

  Lia rubbed her hands together. “Looking forward to it.”

  “That just leaves us with the situation that is you and Gavin.” With her eyebrow arched, Addie looked at me from across the table. “So…what’ll it be? One room or two?”

  I looked down at the table, opening and closing my mouth. In the back of my mind, I already knew the answer. Yes. Absolutely, no doubt in my mind, one room. Gavin and I were two consenting adults who enjoyed each other’s company and genuinely had an amazing connection—both in and out of bed. Yes, we had the obstacle of this baby between us, but I was trying my hardest to work through it. Figure out how it fit into our lives. But when I opened my mouth to tell her my final decision, she cut me off with, “Two rooms. Got it.”

  “Two rooms for what?” Collin asked, sitting back down at the table, Max in tow. They were like magnets to their women, forcing me to hold back on my answer, question my mind-set, and wonder out loud to myself…

  “What the hell is wrong with me?”

  “Kenna?” I could hear Addie’s voice somewhere in the distance, calling my name, questioning my zone-out. But all I could focus on was the man walking back from the bar. Dressed in a blue tee, sporting a sexy-as-hell beard and hair that was prettier than mine. Gavin was the light I’d turned off for months, only to flick on again when my life was at its darkest.

  “No, not two rooms…” I shook my head, words trailing off as I stood.

  “One, then?” Addie squinted.

  I didn’t answer. Instead, I watched the gorgeousness of Gavin stride across the room toward us.

  His eyebrows were pushed together, his lips pursed in thought. He looked so…broken. Angry. Confused. And I knew it was all my fault. Which was exactly why I ignored Addie and decided I wasn’t about to think more. Impulsive or not, this decision had to be made before I screwed
my life up entirely.

  “Hold that thought.” I barely got the words out before darting around the table and meeting Gavin head-on.

  “Hey.” My throat was filled with unease and fear, the lump nearly choking me as I stared up at him. I’d been such a bitch for so long that being pro-relationship was going to be a challenge. Still, it was time I cut the indecision and grew up.

  “What’s wrong?” Some of his anger slipped away, replaced with concern. Gavin lifted his hand, as though to press it against my cheek, then dropped it to his side at the last minute.

  “I’m sorry.” I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him close. Life filled me whenever I was in his arms, and the last thing I wanted was for it to be sucked away again.

  Against my ear, I could hear his heart thudding, a gentle pitter-patter that soothed me. “What are you sorry for?”

  “For dragging you along like I’ve been. For not letting you know how I feel.” I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath, willing the last of my unease away. “And for not doing this the second I saw you tonight.” Then I leaned back, opened my eyes, and let him know just how sorry I was with my lips as I pressed them firmly to his.

  * * *

  Gavin

  Spread out naked on my bed, her body pink and well loved, Kenna looked like something straight out of heaven—but ten times more beautiful than that. Her lower belly was swollen, not a lot, but enough that I could see the change. And her breasts were fuller than before. Her body was a work of art that made my cock continuously hard and ready—even after being inside her just minutes before.

  “Say it again.” I grinned, kissing my way up her body until I reached her neck, then her lips.

  She sighed against my cheek, absently stroking her fingers around my shoulder blades. “I’m sorry I was stupid tonight. I—”

  I cut off her unnecessary apology with a kiss. “Not that.”

  “What, then?”

  “That you want me for as long as I’ll keep you around.”

  She grinned against my lips, then pressed both hands against my cheeks. “You’re a monster. Coercer at his worst.”