A Desperate Longing

by Brenda Williamson

  “What’s wrong?”

  “They said Peter has a perfect alibi.”

  “How did they find out this quickly? He’s only been in their custody for what, thirty minutes?” She looked up at him.

  “Seems Peter has racked up a few speeding tickets. He spent quite a few hours in jail for not paying them. One of those visits happened to be at the same time as the visit from your attacker today.”

  “What about the note in his house?”

  “He says he found it on the lawn.”

  “Then why didn’t he tell me?”

  “Seems he saw the one I gave you and thought I wrote it. He wasn’t sure what to do with it and he didn’t want to scare you.”

  “So he left me alone with you?” Kacy’s heart thumped brutally hard.

  “I was with you and he was waiting to get you alone, I guess. Anyway, the perpetrator must have been in the house and gotten the note when you were in the bathroom.”

  “Peter will never forgive me,” she panted against his warm neck. “I’ve ruined every friendship I’ve ever had with anyone.”

  “You haven’t ruined the one between us, and Peter will forgive you.” His statement coiled that silvery thread of strength through her veins.

  “It’s only a matter of time for us.”

  “I don’t believe there is a thing you could do that would make a difference to me.”

  “No? Well, just give me chance. I’ve been known to wreck everyone’s normal lives.”

  “I’ll give you forever.” He tugged a lock of her sandy blonde hair. “Right now I should get going before they officially release Peter. They’ll question him a little more and I want to double-check the times they had him in the station to make absolutely sure he’s not the man we want.”

  Kacy leaned forward and kissed him. “Take my car. The keys are on the table by the door and then you’ll have my house keys to let yourself in when you get back.”

  She saw his hesitation to leave her. She didn’t want him to think for a moment she’d fall apart and with her hands on his shoulders, she physically pushed him out the door.

  “Go on. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can get back. I’ll leave you a tuna sandwich in the fridge in case you don’t get anything to eat.”

  * * *

  The house seemed too quiet after Gulliver left, and it gave Kacy a funny feeling to think his light snore gave her peace of mind. She cleaned up the tuna mess, made Gulliver two sandwiches, and headed to bed. The crumpled orange slip of paper in Peter’s house still bothered her. Being alone in the house didn’t do wonders for her either, but she forced herself to put on a brave front for Gulliver.

  She snatched the rumpled comforter from the bed and tossed it to the floor while straightening the sheets. Sleep would refresh her for when Gulliver returned and then she could cater to his needs. Thoughts of feeding him in bed, taking a shower with him and napping with him, brought her a joyous smile.

  She hummed a little tune and walked with a happy step around the bed. She pushed away thoughts of Peter—in the end, he would forgive her.

  “There’s my girl.”

  Kacy froze. As if someone glued her toes to the carpet, she stood terrified. Her body went rigid and her head went light. Tears sprang to her eyes.

  She hoped to God Gulliver never blamed himself for her impending death.

  Her bedroom door shut. Across the room, the mirror on the wall over her dresser showed the reflection of her attacker. She turned around quickly to snatch his ski mask. She wanted to know what he looked like. If she died, she’d haunt him forever.

  “Feisty,” he chuckled and caught her hand.

  The laugh had that familiarity to it that brought back the bad memories. He twisted her around and his hands fell in all the wrong places. One over her breast and one between her thighs, she felt his erection against her back.

  “The bed posts will work splendidly for tying you up, Kacy. I know how you like me to restrain you. It makes everything much more exciting.”

  He squeezed her breast with the same bruising roughness he had used before. She cried out and remembered too late, he didn’t like her to cry, or sob, or complain in any way. To emphasize her thought, he held her neck in a chokehold until she nearly collapsed from the lack of air.

  His fingers fumbled with her pants and popped the snap open. The zipper slid down and she whimpered to the touch of his gloved hand on the front of her panties.

  “I missed eating you.” His vulgarity brought bile halfway up her throat and the acidic fluid burned.

  A resounding noise of the front door shutting stopped his crushing grasp on her windpipe. His hand left the inside of her pants and a second later, she felt something like a gun barrel poke her side.

  “Kacy?” Gulliver called out.

  “I’ll kill him if you so much as make a peep,” her attacker informed her and she shivered, knowing how quickly he would do it.

  “Kacy!” Gulliver’s voice boomed.

  Everything inside her shook and she was sure the man would perceive it as her attempt to get loose. He pushed her toward the closet and they squeezed inside.

  “Kacy?” Gulliver neared the bedroom. “Kacy, are you in here?”

  Her jaw tightened, preventing even a peep from coming out of her. She feared Gulliver would stop looking. But for as much as she wanted to do something to alert him, she could never endanger his life.

  Time slowed with a suffocating dreadfulness. The man poked the gun harder to her side.

  “That’s my girl,” he crooned when she stiffened. “That’s my girl.”

  Kacy had devised a list of what to do and what not to do if she ever found herself in a position of helplessness again. Every action would have a reaction, but she couldn’t do any of it. He said he’d kill Gulliver if she made a sound. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, kick, hit and bite the man until she got away or Gulliver came to help her. She did nothing. If there was a true test for love, she had passed it by not risking Gulliver’s life for her own.

  The soft scent of lavender sachets permeated the air of the closet. The heat of their bodies stirred the fragrance, except it didn’t overpower the hot, stifling and putrid sweat of her captor.

  The front door shut with a loud thud.

  She whimpered. Gulliver was gone and she was left alone with her living nightmare.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The man pushed Kacy from their hiding place. His hold did not loosen. The awkward position of four feet trying to make the same moves caused her to stumble. He shoved her hard against the wall.

  “This isn’t yours.” He reached out toward the objects on her dresser.

  She dared a look in the mirror and then back to where his hand floated over her hairbrush, an opened pack of gum, a hair band and the baseball.

  “She gave this to Gully.” His voice went low.

  Kacy saw her chance to try to get free. She reached toward the objects and snatched up the baseball he examined. In one swift move, she twisted in the confines of his circling arm and hit him in the head with the ball fisted in her hand.

  He stumbled away, losing his footing on the bunched-up comforter she had dropped on the floor.

  “Hold it right there, Allen.” Gulliver’s sudden presence in the room stopped everything.

  Kacy’s mind played over the details as if she had just learned them. Livia’s baseball belonged to Gulliver. Only Allen would know that, not a stranger. It had pieced in her mind before she hit him, except she couldn’t take time to think.

  “You thought you’d just come along and take her from me, didn’t you, Gully?” Allen’s voice was clear.

  Kacy couldn’t believe how long she had known the man and never once thought of him as her attacker. She had doubts about strangers and Peter and Gulliver, but never Allen. She’d known him longer than she’d known either of the other two.

  “Let Kacy go,” Gulliver quietly told him. “You don’t really want to hurt her. What w
ould Livia think? She likes Miss Carwell. You’ve heard her. Livia likes Kacy.”

  Allen backed up, pulling Kacy with him. Her gaze shifted to the nightstand containing the gun hidden in the drawer. A gun she didn’t want to touch because she was afraid she might shoot the wrong person. Allen was not the wrong man.

  Gulliver sidestepped further into the room. Kacy dropped her arm and strained her fingers toward the drawer handle. She elbowed Allen and he bent enough for her to get a hand in the drawer. Gulliver charged across the room.

  Suddenly, Kacy was free. Allen let go to defend himself from Gulliver’s attack, and she got the gun out. Only it wasn’t her gun that made a loud bang.

  Kacy went numb. Her gaze fastened on Allen and Gulliver in a sort of bizarre bear hug. Then Allen stumbled back into the wall. Everything went too quickly for her mind to register who was shot.

  Gulliver backed away and she sighed with relief. She lowered the gun. Then Gulliver floated…no…fell. Grasping the front of his crisp white shirt, he collapsed backward on the bed.

  Blood, redder than an apple, brighter than a fire truck, stained the white fabric.

  “No!” Kacy raised her arms. Holding the gun two-handed, she squeezed the trigger.

  Allen jerked with the bullet’s impact. He slid down the wall and slumped over.

  Dropping the gun, Kacy rushed to Gulliver.

  “Move your hand.” She pried his fingers away and pressed the bedding to the hole in his shirt.

  He groaned and tried to get up.

  “Lie still,” she ordered and plucked the phone from his jacket pocket.

  “Press pound and one,” he moaned, reaching up for the phone.

  Kacy sat dazed, listening to Gulliver take charge again. He gave details and information as if he were casually sitting at the breakfast table.

  “Are you all right, honey?” He brushed at her arm.

  She nodded and gave him a weak smile.

  “Good, then I can close my eyes a minute?”

  “Gulliver?”

  “Don’t worry, hurts like hell but it’s not fatal.” He cupped her face. “Keep pressure on the wound until the ambulance gets here.”

  “You came back. Why?” She brushed the locks of damp hair from his forehead.

  “When I called for you and didn’t get an answer, I went to check my house. I know you don’t go out after dark, so I figured you might have gone there. At that point, I knew something had to be wrong. Your car was here.”

  “How did you know it was Allen?”

  “When I saw you with him in the bedroom, I heard him mention the ball Livia gave me. And at the ball park he said I should stay away from you because you’re crazy.”

  “Sounds like good advice.” She laughed nervously, trying to discharge some of the tension. “But that doesn’t necessarily link him to me.”

  “No, but what he said after did, and I didn’t put it together until I came in the door tonight. I told him you weren’t crazy and he mentioned you were stupid to leave your front door open.”

  “I was.”

  “Except the police report wasn’t accurate, remember? It said the man gained entry through a window. Until you told me he came through the door, only you and your attacker knew the truth.”

  “I could have told Allen myself.”

  “I thought of that too. But then there’s something I never mentioned to you. The ski mask you thought you saw in my car?”

  “My imagination again.”

  “After getting to know you. I had a strange feeling you did see it. The only people in my car that day were Allen and Livia. Allen borrowed my keys to get something out of the car he said Livia left in there when I drove her to the game. He had to have put the ski mask in the car and then removed it when he put Livia back in the car when we went to the pizza place.”

  “Then how did it get in my car at the drycleaner?”

  “I’d have to guess, but if he’s been spying on you, waiting for a chance to get you, maybe he was in your car the night we slept outside.”

  “Then I’m glad you were here.”

  “Me too.”

  “You’re very good at your job.”

  “I used to think so. If I was better I would have figured things out long before now. Every conversation I had with Allen, your name came up. He told me how wonderful you were in one breath and in the next told me to stay away from you. A smart man would have seen he was jealous of my closeness to you. A good detective would have looked deeper into his reasons.”

  “You came back tonight. You figured it out and I think that makes you very good at your job.

  * * *

  Gulliver stayed two days in the hospital. Kacy sat with him throughout every available minute of visiting hours. Neither of them brought up plans for a future and before she picked him up to go home, she did something amazingly brave, independent and necessary for her future.

  “I’ll get us some something to eat,” she suggested after they got to her house.

  Gulliver sat at the kitchen table and watched.

  “I’ve decided to move.” Kacy sat opposite him.

  “Where?”

  “To an apartment. It’s a nice place with a lot of security and a doorman. I feel it’s safe.”

  “Safer than me?”

  “You’re going to leave, Gulliver. Your house goes back on the market and you’ll return to your life as it was before me and my neurosis.”

  “I adapt well, as you can see from my trial period.”

  “I have a job interview tomorrow.”

  “Oh, where?”

  Kacy smiled. “I think I’ll hire a mover. I don’t feel like packing all this stuff.” She avoided looking at him. She didn’t want him to know where she lived or where she worked because it seemed best to have a clean break.

  “So it’s a nice place?” he asked.

  “Yes, Gulliver. I already told you that. But I’ll miss having skylights to see the stars.”

  “All you need is a mirror. The stars are right there in your eyes and they’re beautiful.”

  “You’re not going to weaken my resolve. I’ve enjoyed every moment with you. Never stop being sweet, kind and charming, it suits you well.”

  “It’s just honesty, Kacy.”

  “Anyway, the apartment has a very nice view of the park.” She took her plate to the sink, unable to think about eating. “I hope you don’t mind if we call it a night. I have to get up early and I need to take a bath, sort out clothes and things like that.”

  “Sure. I’ll let you do whatever you have to do. Will I see you tomorrow?”

  “I don’t think so. I believe it would be better for me if we didn’t see each other anymore. Your case is closed.” She led him to the front door.

  “I said I didn’t want to stop seeing you.”

  “I know and that’s sweet of you to try and prolong this until it seems a better time to break it off with me, except it’s not necessary. How involved could either of us be after knowing each other for less than two weeks?”

  She rose on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Goodbye, Gulliver. Thank you for all you’ve done.”

  She wanted to change her mind the moment she closed the door. She stood with her back against the solid wood and thought of ways to alter her plans. But the facts stuck.

  The apartment was rented.

  The case was closed.

  Gulliver would move on to his next assignment.

  She didn’t see how she’d fit into his life. If she left well enough alone and they started over, she could only hope things would turn out better for them both.

  Epilogue

  The drive up the hill took Kacy on a long spiraling wind into the heavens. She stopped the car and checked her directions. Rarely did she get lost when meeting a client in need of a decorator. Her job had been the best thing she could have done to cure her doldrums. Gulliver had never left her thoughts, and every time she looked at any Chinese restaurant, a dog or even a lone sock, her c
hest tightened with regret.

  Eight months without his smile seemed an eternity. She’d often wanted to look him up and see if there was anything salvageable of their past. A fear of rejection stopped her each time she picked up the phone. A handsome, virile man such as Gulliver would have a new girlfriend and she’d rather not know he’d found someone he liked better.

  Since everything about the landmarks appeared right, Kacy continued driving her car up the dusty road. Breaking through a cluster of trees, she saw a house under construction. Stopping several hundred yards away, she smiled, taking in the full picture of the beautiful monstrosity against the backdrop of the blue sky.

  The house, half built, put a final piece in the puzzle of why the owner didn’t want to meet with her at her office.

  “Hello,” she said, walking toward the man studying a blueprint.

  Her fear of approaching men had eased since Allen’s death. She never regretted shooting him, though if he hadn’t shot Gulliver, she didn’t think she would have ever found the strength or courage to take his life.

  “Yeah, what do you want?”

  He glanced over his shoulder and she saw his gaze narrow on her car with the decorator’s logo on the door. “I’ve got an architect and an owner making changes around here left and right. If that crazy man thinks I’m going to get anywhere with an interior decorator putting her two cents in, well then he’s nuts.”

  “Nuts, huh?” Her smile widened. “Is the owner around?”

  “In the house,” he grumbled. “No doubt trying to figure out how to kill me with his wishy-washy plans. Skylights here, skylights there, the man ought to live outdoors.”

  Kacy climbed the steps to the porch, ignoring the contractor’s rant. The wonderful view took her breath away. She loved the house, the landscape and she knew, without a doubt, she loved the owner.